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And then God created Texas... (Stolen from one of my Facebook friends)
Facebook | Unknown

Posted on 04/04/2013 6:49:24 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers

God was missing for six days.

Eventually, Michael the archangel found him resting on the seventh day. He inquired, "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downward through the clouds. "Look, Michael. Look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael. "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Southern Europe is going to be poor.

"Over here, I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

"That's Texas, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people of Texas are going to be handsome, modest, strong of character, intelligent and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled. "I will create Washington DC. Wait until you see the idiots I put there!"


TOPICS: Humor; Travel
KEYWORDS: texas
I'm not sure God wants credit for Washington DC. I know I wouldn't...
1 posted on 04/04/2013 6:49:24 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

The problem is all these dang yankees have moved here to Texas because we still produce jobs and a pro-business environment so our culture is changing, particularly in Austin. They’ve just outlawed plastic bags...


2 posted on 04/04/2013 6:57:36 AM PDT by OrangeHoof (Our economy won't heal until one particular black man is unemployed.)
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To: OrangeHoof

Are they charging for paper bags yet?


3 posted on 04/04/2013 7:06:11 AM PDT by sarasota
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To: sarasota

Yep. I got dinged for a dime the other day. But what they are really pushing is reusable bags. Some places charge. Others don’t.


4 posted on 04/04/2013 7:13:49 AM PDT by OrangeHoof (Our economy won't heal until one particular black man is unemployed.)
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To: OrangeHoof

“They’ve just outlawed plastic bags...”

Yeah, well. It’s Austin. Every state seems to have one city that is the local insane asylum, where the inmates can freely congregate among their own.

Ann Arbor, Berkeley, Madison, Eugene...

As far as Austin goes, I find some comfort in this truism:

It don’t matter who’s in Austin,
Bob Wills is still the king!


5 posted on 04/04/2013 7:13:59 AM PDT by Tigerized ("..and whack 'em, and whack 'em, and whack 'em!' cried the Toad in ecstasy." (continuing in 2013))
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To: Tigerized

Of course Austin is home to the huge University of Texas.

Anywhere this is a big university that will be a blue city.

Lakeway is still giving us plastic bags.

I went to Walmart which is in Austin the other day, and took my own plastic bags.........p o’d the cashier as I loaded them............


6 posted on 04/04/2013 7:21:57 AM PDT by basil (basil, 2ASisters.org)
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To: OrangeHoof

Native Texan in Floriduh wishes to be back in “Gods Country”

Been here 8 years and noticed that each time I return to Texas for a visit there are tons of people where there used to be open spaces. I go home usually once a year and get my fill of Texmex and chicken fried steak. Austin is crazy these days-not the quaint bohemian spot it used to be years ago. It was always weird, but fun in a touristy way.


7 posted on 04/04/2013 7:23:25 AM PDT by seeker41 (On our way to hell in a handbasket)
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To: seeker41

It’s getting to the point where I-35 all the way from San Antonio to the Oklahoma border is going to be one huge Googleplex.


8 posted on 04/04/2013 7:24:44 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: dfwgator

My cousin lives in San Antonio and when I visited last year was amazed at how SA, Austin, New Braunfels and small towns have grown together. I went to college in San Marcos in the 80s. Lots has changed!

Currently, I live near the little Berkley and being a gator I assume you know of where I speak...;)


9 posted on 04/04/2013 7:32:10 AM PDT by seeker41 (On our way to hell in a handbasket)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

Here is something I posted here 10+ years ago:

To: CyberCowboy777
A man decides to visit every church in America. He starts in New York. The first church he visits has a telephone in the back of the church. It has a sign above it that says “Call Heaven, $10,000.00 per minute”.

As he travels around the country he sees the same telephone and sign, “Call Heaven, $10,000.00 per minute”. The last state he visits is Texas. In the first Texas church he sees the same telephone and sign but the sign says “Call Heaven, $.10 per minute”. The same thing happens in every Texas church.

The last church he visits is in Galveston, Texas. He sees the preacher and explains about the signs and asks “why is it only ten cents a minute per call to Heaven in Texas?

The preacher smiles and says “Because, my son, here it’s a local call”.
5 posted on Thu Apr 18 12:20:35 2002 by isthisnickcool

From this thread:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/668426/posts


10 posted on 04/04/2013 7:35:10 AM PDT by isthisnickcool (Sharia? No thanks!)
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To: OrangeHoof

The city of Autism. In the latest stupidity from N.K. the morons here think that the NOK’s targeted Austin because of its image as a new utopia of modernism and all American city (trust me it is not, just a future San Fransissyco). They don’t realize that Samsung has a huge production plant here and are too stupid to tie NK’s hatred of all things South Korean to it.


11 posted on 04/04/2013 7:44:11 AM PDT by Resolute Conservative
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To: OrangeHoof

“The problem is all these dang yankees have moved here to Texas “

You sure paint with a broard brush. Yankees are some of the most hard working , self sufficient people I know. Have you never heard of the term “Yankee ingenuity”? It describes an attitude of make-do with materials on hand. It is inventive improvisation, adaptation and overcoming of dire straits when faced with a dearth of materials. You are lucky to have some of us real yankees down here in Texas.


12 posted on 04/04/2013 7:51:42 AM PDT by heylady (“Sometimes I wish I could be a Democrat and then I remember I have a soul.”( Deb))
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

What is Texas going to do about the inevitability of turning blue as predicted by demographics?

Colorado was like Texas a few years ago. Colorado will go through a see-saw era like California did in the 1980s and 1990s until becoming forever blue in the 2000’s when the state legislature became an extension of the labor unions.


13 posted on 04/04/2013 7:54:53 AM PDT by cicero2k
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To: Resolute Conservative

In that case, I guess it’ll take more than some SXSW tickets and a few hundred pounds of smoked brisket to change Kim Young’un’s mind...


14 posted on 04/04/2013 7:56:30 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'll stop being a cynic when the world stops giving me reasons to be cynical.)
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To: OrangeHoof
I saw a great bumper sticker recently: "Keep the Weird in Austin". I've gotta find out where to buy that one.

As for the shopping bags issue, I think people should just bring their own disposable plastic bags - just like the ones they're trying to "ban". A 1000-count case of those medium "t-shirt" bags costs around $20. Leave the box in your car trunk and grab a handful before shopping.

Resist visibly - the idea will spread and the city's "green" effort will be a bust.

15 posted on 04/04/2013 8:02:56 AM PDT by Charles Martel (Endeavor to persevere...)
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To: cicero2k
Colorado was like Texas a few years ago. Colorado will go through a see-saw era like California did in the 1980s and 1990s until becoming forever blue in the 2000’s when the state legislature became an extension of the labor unions.

That's why this Coloradan is thinking about Texas and Idaho. It's hard to think of Texas turning leftist extremist; conversely, there are an awful lot of illegal aliens there already. Idaho? I'm not sure.

16 posted on 04/04/2013 8:59:05 AM PDT by Standing Wolf
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To: Standing Wolf
That's why this Coloradan is thinking about Texas and Idaho. It's hard to think of Texas turning leftist extremist; conversely, there are an awful lot of illegal aliens there already. Idaho? I'm not sure.

I'm a CA to CO transplant. It will take some time for the above to play out and there may be a large external reversion on a national scale as push back.

In any event, I don't see the liberal dogma as intense in CO. We're building infrastructure. Local cities (like Golden where I live)are soundly run. People on the local level tend to be pragmatic not dogmatic.

Plus at my age, it won't matter.

17 posted on 04/04/2013 9:16:16 AM PDT by cicero2k
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To: heylady

Yankees bring to Texas big governments, high crime, high taxes, gay marriage, bike lanes, toll roads and rude manners. If you came down here to Texas and blended in with it rather than insisting everything be like New Yawk or Baahston, you can stay but most of the Obama Yankees that are here now are just here for the jobs and to escape the socialist hellholes that their elected leaders created. We don’t want them or need them in Texas.


18 posted on 04/04/2013 10:28:25 AM PDT by OrangeHoof (Our economy won't heal until one particular black man is unemployed.)
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To: OrangeHoof

So kind of you to let me stay and “blend in”. I guess my son was fortunate that the people of Texas didn’t realize that he was a yankee while he was stationed at Hood for 8 years and did 3 tours in Iraq. Imagine if he had to leave the great state of Texas because he was a yankee. By the way I try not to blend in. That would make me part of the collective and I consider myself an individual.


19 posted on 04/04/2013 11:26:55 AM PDT by heylady (“Sometimes I wish I could be a Democrat and then I remember I have a soul.”( Deb))
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To: cicero2k
Plus at my age, it won't matter.

I'm inclined to concur, cicero2k, though having spent ten years in the People's Republic of California myself, I've seen leftist extremism lead to more leftist extremism, then more and more, then lots more, especially when firearms are involved. I have a hunch telling yourself leftist extremism isn't going to get worse is like telling yourself it's just a mild, temporary case of AIDS.

20 posted on 04/04/2013 12:17:01 PM PDT by Standing Wolf
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To: OrangeHoof
Yankees bring to Texas big governments, high crime, high taxes, gay marriage, bike lanes, toll roads and rude manners. If you came down here to Texas and blended in with it rather than insisting everything be like New Yawk or Baahston, you can stay but most of the Obama Yankees that are here now are just here for the jobs and to escape the socialist hellholes that their elected leaders created. We don’t want them or need them in Texas.

Amen! I hope Texans will learn from Colorado's experience, and be wary of outsiders trying to turn Texas into California, New York, New Jersey, et alia, and be extremely wary of leftist extremist money from other states and Europe showing up in Texas politics.

21 posted on 04/04/2013 12:21:41 PM PDT by Standing Wolf
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