Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 04/05/2013 5:16:03 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Go For Broke Day

When : Always Apil 5th

Are you a gambler? Then, today, is your day. It's Go For Broke Day. Today is a day to put it all on the line, and take a chance. It might be money. Or, it can be a love relationship. Perhaps, it's time to initiate a risky project, or to take a new job.

Many of us go about our daily lives playing it safe, not taking big chances. If you are of a conservative ilk, you may have never gone out on a limb, or taken big risks. If this sounds like you, maybe today is a day to really let loose and "Go for Broke".

If you can muster up the courage to take a big risk, you can enjoy today by taking big risks and "Going for Broke". We will leave it up to you to decide whether the risk is worth taking.   



Former President George Bush has invited President Obama to the opening of his presidential library later this month. President Obama said he's looking forward to going through the library to see if there was anything else he could blame Bush for. ~ Jay Leno

The White House has now put together a website for kids. It's a website to teach kids how to manage a budget responsibly. The website is called "Irony.gov." ~ David Letterman

The Associated Press, the largest newsgathering outlet in the world, will no longer use the term "illegal immigrant." That is out. They will now use the phrase "undocumented Democrat." ~ Jay Leno

Yesterday President Obama shot baskets at the White House and made only two shots out of 22. Even Dick Cheney was like, “That guy needs to learn how to shoot.” ~ Jimmy Fallon

President Obama went only two for 22. It’s tough times for Obama — one minute, he’s asking Congress to raise the debt ceiling; the next, he’s asking them to lower the hoop. ~ Jimmy Fallon

Today President Obama asked Congress for $100 million to map the human brain. And believe me, if anybody needs a map to find their brain, it’s Congress. ~ Jay Leno

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano — the person in charge of our national security — recently said she doesn’t email, text, or tweet. So remember: If you see something, say something — because there’s literally no other way she’ll get the message. ~ Jimmy Fallon

Everybody’s still talking about March Madness, and it turns out that President Obama has correctly predicted 11 of the Sweet 16 teams. When Joe Biden was asked about his Sweet 16, he said, “It was great — I had a petting zoo and a clown."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: broke; ofst; silliness
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-100101-103 next last
Comment #1 Removed by Moderator

To: Lucky9teen

3


2 posted on 04/05/2013 5:16:48 AM PDT by tnlibertarian
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Top 10 Woot!


3 posted on 04/05/2013 5:17:13 AM PDT by marine86297 (I'll never forgive Clinton for Somalia, my blood is on his hands)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: tnlibertarian

Or better.


4 posted on 04/05/2013 5:17:17 AM PDT by tnlibertarian
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

IBTP??


5 posted on 04/05/2013 5:17:49 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...


GO FOR

BROKE


CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST


6 posted on 04/05/2013 5:18:40 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Top Ten!


7 posted on 04/05/2013 5:18:56 AM PDT by RandallFlagg
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

8 posted on 04/05/2013 5:19:00 AM PDT by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet - Mater tua caligas exercitus gerit ;-{)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: tnlibertarian

9 posted on 04/05/2013 5:19:18 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: JoeProBono

A man came home from work and found his 5 children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around garden.

The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and no sign of the dog, walking in the door, he found ...an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, the throw rug was against one wall, In the front room the TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel, the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel... She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, ‘What happened here today?’

She again smiled and answered, ‘You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?...

‘’Yes,” was his incredulous reply..

She answered, ‘Well, today I didn’t do it.


10 posted on 04/05/2013 5:23:48 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

11 posted on 04/05/2013 5:25:13 AM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
TOP TWENTY!!!!!

Have a Good Weekend Everyone!

12 posted on 04/05/2013 5:26:03 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq He could sure play that axe. RIP anymore, it's about the USA!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: RandallFlagg

13 posted on 04/05/2013 5:30:33 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

14 posted on 04/05/2013 5:31:25 AM PDT by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet - Mater tua caligas exercitus gerit ;-{)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

15 posted on 04/05/2013 5:33:21 AM PDT by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet - Mater tua caligas exercitus gerit ;-{)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

God was missing for six days.

Eventually, Michael the archangel found him resting on the seventh day. He inquired, “Where have you been?”

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downward through the clouds. “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.” Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?”

“It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve put life on it. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a place to test balance.”

“Balance?” inquired Michael. “I’m still confused.”

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. “For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Southern Europe is going to be poor.

“Over here, I’ve placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things.”

God continued pointing to different countries. “This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.”

The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a land area and said, “What’s that one?”

“That’s Texas, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people of Texas are going to be handsome, modest, strong of character, intelligent and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things.”

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, “But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance.”

God smiled. “I will create Washington DC. Wait until you see the idiots I put there!”


16 posted on 04/05/2013 5:35:05 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (For Jay Carney - I heard your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: All

The Nun and the Golf Game

A nun walks into Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

‘What troubles you, Sister?’ asked the Mother Superior. ‘I thought this was the day you spent with your family.’

‘It was,’ sighed the Sister. ‘And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.’

‘I seem to recall that,’ the Mother Superior agreed. ‘So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?’

‘Far from it,’ snorted the Sister. ‘In fact, I even took the Lord’s name in vain today!’

‘Goodness, Sister!’ gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. ‘You must tell me all about it!’

‘Well, we were on the fifth tee, and this hole is a monster, Mother Superior, 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dog leg left and a hidden green’ and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made.

And it’s flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted, and it hits a bird in mid-flight!’

‘Oh my!’ commiserated the Mother. ‘How unfortunate! But surely that didn’t make you blaspheme, Sister!’

‘No, that wasn’t it,’ admitted Sister. ‘While I was still trying to fathom what had happened; this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball, and runs off down the fairway!’

‘Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!’ sympathized the Mother.

‘But I didn’t, Mother!’ sobbed the Sister. ‘And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!’

‘So that’s when you cursed,’ said the Mother with a knowing smile. ‘Nope, that wasn’t it either,’ cried the Sister, anguished, ‘because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!’

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said, ‘You missed the dang putt, didn’t you?’


17 posted on 04/05/2013 5:37:51 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (For Jay Carney - I heard your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

18 posted on 04/05/2013 5:37:52 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

I love that cartoon, but I have a feeling the mod will remove it, since Ramirez cartoon are not allowed to be posted.


19 posted on 04/05/2013 5:44:13 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (For Jay Carney - I heard your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen; mikrofon; Charles Henrickson

20 posted on 04/05/2013 5:48:23 AM PDT by martin_fierro (Hakers Gonna Hake)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOO TGIF!


21 posted on 04/05/2013 6:01:54 AM PDT by Currentriverrat (People are calling our President the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers, that's not allowed is it?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

22 posted on 04/05/2013 6:02:28 AM PDT by CharlesMartelsGhost
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

23 posted on 04/05/2013 6:06:03 AM PDT by CharlesMartelsGhost
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Love it! And how true!


24 posted on 04/05/2013 6:20:52 AM PDT by kitkat (STORM THE HEAVENS WITH PRAYERS FOR OUR COUNTRY)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
Katamari Hack
25 posted on 04/05/2013 6:21:12 AM PDT by Berlin_Freeper
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

IN! (finally)


26 posted on 04/05/2013 6:37:07 AM PDT by Monkey Face (In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. ~ Ben Franklin)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
 photo morning_picdump_333_640_45_zps73ef0cbf.jpg
27 posted on 04/05/2013 6:48:19 AM PDT by SkyDancer (Live your life in such a way that the Westboro church will want to picket your funeral.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

28 posted on 04/05/2013 6:53:03 AM PDT by TexasCajun
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Here is silliness.......

We had a rainstorm and cold front move through last night. EVERYTHING is wet. It’s cold outside.

Were going camping.

I think I’ve lost my mind..........


29 posted on 04/05/2013 7:11:08 AM PDT by fredhead (I'm not losing my hair, it's just retired and relocating further south.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

30 posted on 04/05/2013 7:13:26 AM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
Wahooooo !!!!!

First 3,233,812.6th or something.

31 posted on 04/05/2013 7:23:20 AM PDT by llevrok (2013: The USA is in a Cold Civil War.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]

To: N. Theknow

32 posted on 04/05/2013 7:24:32 AM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Whew! I made it in the top 16.736 Trillion on GOPHER BROKE day.


33 posted on 04/05/2013 7:24:34 AM PDT by CSM (Keeper of the Dave Ramsey Ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: N. Theknow

34 posted on 04/05/2013 7:25:27 AM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Six Basic Rules for Good Health

1. F***ing once a week is good for your health, every day is even better.
2. F***ing gives proper relaxation for your mind & body.
3. F***ing refreshes you.
4. After F***ing don’t eat too much; go for more liquids.
5. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol level.

SO, REMEMBER ...

6. FISHING is good for your health and soul,

And may the Good Lord cleanse your dirty mind


35 posted on 04/05/2013 7:25:41 AM PDT by llevrok (2013: The USA is in a Cold Civil War.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Called a Barka

36 posted on 04/05/2013 7:47:29 AM PDT by llevrok (2013: The USA is in a Cold Civil War.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: N. Theknow

Nice melons!!


37 posted on 04/05/2013 7:50:00 AM PDT by 4yearlurker (Hurry up Spring!!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: JoeProBono

38 posted on 04/05/2013 7:51:22 AM PDT by llevrok (2013: The USA is in a Cold Civil War.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: N. Theknow

39 posted on 04/05/2013 7:57:24 AM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

40 posted on 04/05/2013 8:13:00 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Arrowhead1952

41 posted on 04/05/2013 8:14:12 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen


John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock

(MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6 am.

While his coffeepot

(MADE IN CHINA)

was perking, he shaved with his

electric razor

(MADE IN HONG KONG)

He put on a

dress shirt

(MADE IN SRI LANKA),

designer jeans

(MADE IN SINGAPORE)

and

tennis shoes

(MADE IN KOREA)

After cooking his breakfast in his new

electric skillet

(MADE IN INDIA)

he sat down with his

calculator

(MADE IN MEXICO)

to see how much he could spend today. After setting his

watch

(MADE IN TAIWAN )

to the radio

(MADE IN INDIA )

he got in his car

(MADE IN GERMANY )

filled it with GAS

(from Saudi Arabia )

and continued his search

for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.

At the end of yet another discouraging

and fruitless day

checking his

Computer

(made in MALAYSIA ),

John decided to relax for a while.

He put on his sandals

(MADE IN BRAZIL),

poured himself a glass of

wine

(MADE IN FRANCE)

and turned on his

TV

(MADE IN INDONESIA),

and then wondered why he can't

find a good paying job

in AMERICA

AND NOW HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT

MADE IN KENYA.

42 posted on 04/05/2013 8:14:12 AM PDT by TheOldLady
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: fredhead

Leaving for a hike in the mud in just a few minutes ...


43 posted on 04/05/2013 8:15:43 AM PDT by Pan_Yan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 29 | View Replies]

To: N. Theknow

The Pope was sitting next to this guy on a jetliner, and they were an hour or so into the flight. The Pope, who was working a crossword puzzle, asked his seat mate, “What’s a four-letter word ending in ‘unt?’”

The fellow answered, “Why “Aunt,” of course!”

The Pope replied, “Thanks! Uh, do you have an eraser?”


44 posted on 04/05/2013 8:19:54 AM PDT by Cyber Liberty (I am a dissident. Will you join me? My name is John....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]

To: Cyber Liberty


Target apologizes after naming plus-sized women’s dress ‘Manatee Gray’

45 posted on 04/05/2013 8:31:18 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 44 | View Replies]

To: Cyber Liberty
“Anyone with needs to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar,” the Preacher says.

Sven gets in line, and when it’s his turn, the preacher asks: “Sven, what do you want me to pray about for you.”

Sven replies: “Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing.”

The preacher puts one finger in Sven’s ear, and he places the other hand on top of Sven’s head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue streak for Sven.

After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks,”Sven, how is your hearing now?”

Sven says, “I don’t know, Reverend, it ain’t til next Wednesday!”

46 posted on 04/05/2013 8:34:03 AM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 44 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Oh no, definitely not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special.

Cabbie: "There's more... He had a memory like a computer. He could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too -- he was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. I just married his frigging widow."

47 posted on 04/05/2013 8:38:01 AM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

“I just got a new hearing aid”

“Oh really. What kind is it?”

“Ten O’clock.”


48 posted on 04/05/2013 8:42:14 AM PDT by 4yearlurker (Hurry up Spring!!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

49 posted on 04/05/2013 8:47:39 AM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 4yearlurker

n tests 70% of people see the same word first. Post the first word you see.
50 posted on 04/05/2013 9:05:32 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 48 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-100101-103 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson