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Weeping First Lady Pushes Chicago to Ban Stolen Guns
http://scrappleface.com ^ | April 11, 2013 | Scott Ott

Posted on 04/11/2013 4:49:35 PM PDT by Lucky9teen

First Lady Michelle Obama, in an intensely personal speech Wednesday, called for Chicago to ban stolen handguns, the most commonly-used murder weapon, in a city that tallied more than 500 murders last year.

Although Chicago already has some of the most restrictive gun laws in the country, Mrs. Obama said the city needs to “get serious about making illegally-acquired weapons illegal.”

The First Lady teared up as she recalled attending the funeral of a 15-year-old Chicago girl, shot in the back by a drive-by assailant, who reminded her of her own childhood in the same city.

“I realized that that young girl was me and I was her,” Obama said. “In other words, if I had been at that same spot just 35-years later, then Barack Obama would never have met me, and he would not be President of the United States today, so you would never get to hear this intensely-personal speech.”

President Obama said his wife’s gripping, emotional connection with that Chicago handgun murder should motivate Congress to pass more restrictive gun laws even if they would have no power to stop senseless murders of Chicago children.

“Republicans can argue that restricting magazine capacity, banning assault weapons or increasing background checks will do nothing to stem the tide of inner-city violence,” said the president, “but they can never counter the emotional impact of watching my wife cry. To them I say, your argument is invalid.”


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor
KEYWORDS: ban; banglist; chicago; guncontrol; guns; illinois; michelle; satire; secondamendment; sourcetitlenoturl
**snicker**
1 posted on 04/11/2013 4:49:35 PM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen

Liars, traitors, fools and whores.


2 posted on 04/11/2013 4:51:21 PM PDT by Travis McGee (www.EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com)
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To: Lucky9teen

3 posted on 04/11/2013 4:53:03 PM PDT by Slyfox (The Key to Marxism is Medicine ~ Vladimir Lenin)
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To: Lucky9teen

This coming from a porcine slob who has constant well-armed security guards. What an overweight, filthy hypocrite!


4 posted on 04/11/2013 4:54:08 PM PDT by laweeks
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To: Lucky9teen
next thing you know, the stooopid fat cow will want murder banned too...
5 posted on 04/11/2013 4:54:22 PM PDT by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Berosus; bigheadfred; Bockscar; ColdOne; Convert from ECUSA; ...

Thanks Lucky9teen. Scott Ott:
First Lady Michelle Obama, in an intensely personal speech Wednesday, called for Chicago to ban stolen handguns, the most commonly-used murder weapon, in a city that... already has some of the most restrictive gun laws in the country, Mrs. Obama said the city needs to “get serious about making illegally-acquired weapons illegal.”

6 posted on 04/11/2013 4:57:01 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (Romney would have been worse, if you're a dumb ass.)
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To: Lucky9teen

how does one go about banning stolen guns????


7 posted on 04/11/2013 4:57:32 PM PDT by terycarl
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To: Lucky9teen

What a moron.


8 posted on 04/11/2013 4:58:08 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Lucky9teen

I was suckered in to this one. :) As my my defence, it seemed so real.


9 posted on 04/11/2013 5:00:04 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Ban body odor, toe jam and bad hair days too!


10 posted on 04/11/2013 5:01:42 PM PDT by Uncle Miltie (Due Process 2013: "Burn the M*****-F***er Down!")
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To: Travis McGee

Is that REALLKY SEn. Joe Manchin from WEST VIRGINIA, a state where POVERTY is Rampant, is that REALLY his YACHT??? HWere did he get the MONEY for that YACHT??? NOT Inexpensive to take CARE of a YACHT like that!! OMG!!


11 posted on 04/11/2013 5:01:56 PM PDT by Ann Archy (Abortion.....the HUMAN Sacrifice to the god of Convenience.)
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To: terycarl

Well once you have removed all the guns from law abiding citizens it makes it harder for guns to be stolen. You see how simple it is for moochelle, when you ban the the guns from honest people it is easier to ban the illegal guns!


12 posted on 04/11/2013 5:02:47 PM PDT by Mastador1 (I'll take a bad dog over a good politician any day!)
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To: Lucky9teen

                                                       


Weeping First Lady Pushes Chicago to Ban Stolen Guns

13 posted on 04/11/2013 5:03:06 PM PDT by tomkat (-liberty or death-)
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To: Lucky9teen

Hey Moochie...is it WHITE CRIMINALS KILLING BLACK KIDS or is it BLACK CRIMINALS KILLING BLACK KIDS???? Go to YOUR COMMUNITY and tell them to STOP KILLING and RIOTING!!!


14 posted on 04/11/2013 5:03:28 PM PDT by Ann Archy (Abortion.....the HUMAN Sacrifice to the god of Convenience.)
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Click The Pic To Donate

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15 posted on 04/11/2013 5:07:17 PM PDT by DJ MacWoW (My faith and politics cannot be separated)
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To: Lucky9teen
What other illegal things does she want to make illegal? Stealing should definitely be illegal, and murder, and mayhem, assault...

Busiest first buttocks EVAH!!

I just don't know what we'd do without our weeping first 'lady.'

Maybe the Weeper of the House, Rep. Boehner, can join her.

And from what she said, she survived a drive-by when she was shot in the back, just like the woman whom she was and who is she but unfortunately died of the assault.

Deep!

16 posted on 04/11/2013 5:10:47 PM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: Lucky9teen

Chicago doesn’t have too many guns, they have too many criminals.


17 posted on 04/11/2013 5:11:25 PM PDT by umgud (2A can't survive dem majorities)
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To: Lucky9teen
“get serious about making illegally-acquired weapons illegal.”

Am I missing something???

18 posted on 04/11/2013 5:12:22 PM PDT by azishot
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To: Lucky9teen

You sure have plenty of material to choose from for your Silliness threads these days.


19 posted on 04/11/2013 5:17:16 PM PDT by Disambiguator
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To: Lucky9teen

It’s hard to parody this administration. No matter now ridiculous the story, it’s still believable.


20 posted on 04/11/2013 5:18:31 PM PDT by Ramius (Personally, I give us one chance in three. More tea anyone?)
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To: Lucky9teen
In ALL Major U.S. Cities, infested with inner-city tribal parasites, there is no value in human life; they live for bling, crack, and ho's.....that's the culture Democrats have encouraged, and have forced those "rich white bastards" to pay for.

Deal with the CULTURE, you dumbass.....Affirmative Action is the ONLY reason she got where she is.....coupled with corruption and god-fathers.

21 posted on 04/11/2013 5:20:36 PM PDT by traditional1 (Amerika.....Providing public housing for the Mulatto Messiah)
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To: Lucky9teen
Well, I agree with the Fustest Lady we need to “get serious about making illegally-acquired weapons illegal.”

Maybe even make it illegal to illegally acquire an illegal weapon that was illegally obtained by illegally acquiring it from someone who illegally obtained it illegally by an illegal means.

Or something.

22 posted on 04/11/2013 5:24:39 PM PDT by Tupelo (Old, Bald, Ugly, Fat and Broke in Arizona)
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To: trisham

We must make illegal guns illegal.
Or at least make having stolen guns illegal.
duh?


23 posted on 04/11/2013 5:30:28 PM PDT by OldArmy52 (The question is not whether Obama ever lies, but whether he ever tells the truth.)
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To: trisham

Don’t feel too bad. When the absurd appears to be real, the lines get blurred, and confusion sets in, lol. ;)


24 posted on 04/11/2013 5:32:35 PM PDT by deoetdoctrinae (The Old White Flag Republicans can go straight to He// and take their pal Obama with them!)
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To: trisham

But it’s plausible as all get out!

You can’t even parody these people without our falling for it, because no matter how outrageous, the parodies are believable.


25 posted on 04/11/2013 5:36:43 PM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: Lucky9teen

All you amateur satirists, take notes. This is how you do satire.


26 posted on 04/11/2013 6:08:30 PM PDT by DManA
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To: azishot
Am I missing something???

Maybe the "Scrappleface" byline.

27 posted on 04/11/2013 6:13:50 PM PDT by TChad (Call them Oppressives, not Progressives.)
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To: terycarl

Is she channeling Slow Joe?


28 posted on 04/11/2013 6:48:12 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet (Who you gonna believe .... your lying eyes or the Bureau of Lies & Statistics?)
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To: Lucky9teen

No worse than her imbecile husband. And this is the caliber of individual America has elected to public office.

In this “post racial” age, skin color makes all the difference.

Yes, Americans are still racists; only now, everthing Black is “in.”

Think this ignorant butthead - or her psychologically defective moron of a husband - would have got anywhere if their skin were white?

The bar is always lowered for Black people.


29 posted on 04/11/2013 7:50:37 PM PDT by Jack Hammer (American)
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