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Dave Says World Needs Stay at Home Moms
Townhall.com ^ | June 5, 2013 | Dave Ramsey

Posted on 06/05/2013 4:39:26 AM PDT by Kaslin

I listen to you often and enjoy your radio show, but why don’t you ever ask women to go to work? When a family is broke, and the woman is at home raising one child who is already in the fifth grade, why can’t the wife get a “second job?”

George

Dear George,

I think far too many ladies, in the name of paying for stuff they don’t need, have left the household and the children for the workplace. Many of them didn’t even want to do this; they just felt obligated to do it by people like you. There are a lot of ladies who have sacrificed their ability to be full-time moms on the altar of the car payment.

Now, sometimes ladies have to go to work. There’s a time and a place for that kind of thing. But if there’s any way I can financially and budget-wise figure out how mom can be waiting at home with a big hug and a plate full of cookies when that fifth grader walks in the house – and if that’s what she wants to do – then you’re going to find me fighting for her opportunity to do that. There’s no higher calling on the planet than motherhood. We’ve lost that in our culture, and we’re suffering dearly for it.

I’m no Neanderthal jerk. I don’t say every mother has to be at home or they’re a bad person. But these days we’ve got very few people who defend full-time, in-the-home motherhood. The inference you’re making is that she’s not helping, or worse, lazy. Why don’t you go take over her job for a week? I think you’ll find out in a hurry there’s not a lazy bone in her body!

—Dave

Dear Dave,

I’m 24-years old, and just got married two months ago. We make $80,000 a year, have our emergency fund and no debt, plus we’ve saved up for a 15 percent down payment on a house. I know you suggest 20 percent, but is 15 percent okay?

Tony

Dear Tony,

I don’t have a lot of issues with 15 percent instead of 20 percent. You’ll probably end up having to pay private mortgage insurance, but it sounds like you guys are in good enough shape financially to handle things.

However, I generally recommend that couples wait until they’ve been married at least a year before buying a home. Buying a house is huge decision. That’s why I think it’s smart to wait and get to know each other even better before making a decision of this magnitude. Plus, you need to figure out just how close you want to live to your mother-in-law!

Seriously, take your time and don’t rush things. There will still be great deals on the market in a year or so, and you’ll be able to save more money, too!

—Dave


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Reference
KEYWORDS: daveramsey; motherhood; ramsey; stayathomemothers

1 posted on 06/05/2013 4:39:26 AM PDT by Kaslin
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To: Kaslin

The Left trumpets the need for universal day care.

The Left trumpets smaller class size.

The Left trumpets a woman’s right to choose.

But when a woman chooses to provide her own children with the smallest possible day care class, the Left explodes in rage.


2 posted on 06/05/2013 4:42:39 AM PDT by SampleMan (Feral Humans are the refuse of socialism.)
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To: Kaslin

“Girls just want to have fun.” - the great social commentator, Cindy Lauper, 1984.


3 posted on 06/05/2013 4:46:27 AM PDT by 3Fingas (Sons and Daughters of Freedom, Committee of Correspondence)
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To: Kaslin
Dave is absolutely right. It's God's plan for women, children, and families. The world and the Serpent had sold Eve a bill of goods. She's taken "feminism" and "women's rights", as with the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, hook, line, and sinker.

Some 60-70 million dead unborn babies later, its time to repent, let go of Satan's plan, and see what God has for women, since he made them.

4 posted on 06/05/2013 4:47:43 AM PDT by PapaNew
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To: Kaslin

There’s no higher calling on the planet than motherhood. We’ve lost that in our culture, and we’re suffering dearly for it.

***
Amen and amen!


5 posted on 06/05/2013 4:47:44 AM PDT by Bigg Red (Restore us, O God of hosts; let your face shine, that we may be saved! -Ps80)
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To: SampleMan

My wife was a stay at home Mom, we are retired now.

What used to piss me off the most was going to PTA meetings and having the teachers reactions when she told them she was a Housewife. They looked on her like she was dirt.

We didn’t have a lot of the things our friends had, but we had a good life with each other and our kids. We raised them, not some day care.


6 posted on 06/05/2013 4:50:27 AM PDT by Venturer
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To: Kaslin

Been married 20 years - my wife has been a
full time home schooling mom since our first
child was born 17 years ago. I cannot remember
a time in the past 17 years when $$ wasn’t tight.
We’ve never taken a Disney vacation. Don’t have a
boat or a camper. Don’t even have a flat screen
TV. But we do have three daughters who have had
the absolute best mother, teacher, mentor, and
example of what a woman should be. Yes I’ve had
to work 50, 60, sometimes 70 hours a week just
to pay the bills (still do) - and yes my wife
could have stayed in the workforce and earned
waaaay more $$ than I currently make (she has
her degree in secondary English education).
But the blessings we’ve received by having her
in the home far outweigh the “trinkets” we’ve
done without.


7 posted on 06/05/2013 4:57:20 AM PDT by big truck
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To: Venturer

“... she was a housewife”.

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt AND sent the postcard. The phrase is usually “just a stay at home Mom” or “just a housewife”. It takes thick skin to stay at home. It really does. No matter your I.Q. or your level of education.. you suddenly become a window licking moron, lazy, out of touch, and worthless. That being said, It isn’t ONLY the liberals who hold this view. I have had comments on this very site about being out of touch or that “I should get out in the world more”. I even read one comment from a female freeper that she “tried it and was going nuts” so she went back to work full time where she is happy. My best advice for any woman just beginning to be a stay at home wife/mom... ignore the words and insults and know that you are raising a future generation of intelligent, thoughtful, conservative adults. “The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world”. Hugs to your wife, Venturer!


8 posted on 06/05/2013 4:59:08 AM PDT by momtothree
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To: Bigg Red

AMEN AGAIN!!


9 posted on 06/05/2013 5:02:06 AM PDT by Ann Archy (Abortion.....the HUMAN Sacrifice to the god of Convenience.)
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To: big truck

God has blessed you.


10 posted on 06/05/2013 5:03:18 AM PDT by Ann Archy (Abortion.....the HUMAN Sacrifice to the god of Convenience.)
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To: Venturer

I stayed home with my kids for 15 years. My oldest is now a financial analyst at a very well known company in NYC, completely self supporting at 25 years old. I even home schooled her for a stint. The other two are well adjusted and doing fine also.

The flak I caught for doing this — from neighbors, from relatives, from my so-called Catholic MIL ..was unbearable at times. Now I don’t hear a peep from any of them on how well she turned out — no credit ever given. It was always rubbed in my face that so and so “actually works,” yet somehow what I did wasn’t seen as real work.

I’m already back working at a second career. Life is long. I look back on those days as the best of my life. Women need to get their heads out of their butts and realize they have only ONE chance to raise that kid.

I always held firm in those days to that quote by Jacqueline Kennedy ...”If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do matters very much.”


11 posted on 06/05/2013 5:05:12 AM PDT by LibsRJerks (s)
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To: LibsRJerks

I stayed home raising kids and loved it, but it was not an easy gig, up at all hours, driving, waiting, cleaning, cleaning again, cooking, creating holidays and traditions, it was exhausting but my kids had the security of knowing I was there for them.

Unfortunately their dad couldn’t behave himself and took himself off the reservation.

But I am here for them still. Just working part time and putting dinner on the table at 6 every night. Without a “boyfriend”. I am all about the kids.


12 posted on 06/05/2013 5:21:59 AM PDT by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: yldstrk

God Bless you, yldstrk.


13 posted on 06/05/2013 5:50:05 AM PDT by momtothree
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To: SampleMan

I remember a woman telling me that you couldn’t adequately supervise several small children at home, they needed more socialization. I reminded her that the state’s official infant to adult ratio was 4 to 1, so a woman with three young children had fewer kids than the state’s maximum - and playmates to boot.


14 posted on 06/05/2013 6:12:15 AM PDT by tbw2
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To: Kaslin; CSM

Ping so many Dave Ramsey fans the kids think they’re next!

....or something like that. :)


15 posted on 06/05/2013 6:28:12 AM PDT by Altariel ("Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!")
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To: Ann Archy

Indeed He has, Ann Archy. There are days I look at the budget and think “There’s no way in the world this should work.” But day after day, week after week we have more than enough - even after giving more than 15% to tithe/charitable donations.

And this spring we found out my oldest daughter was accepted into a major university with a full tuition scholarship plus a $4000/yr stipend. Both of our parents sniffed at the idea of homeschooling, her parents even thought I was forcing their daughter to stay home against her will. But our kids are the only ones on either side of our families that the grandparents actually want to spend the night with. They are polite, respectful, helpful, and thankful. I attribute that to the constant attention to character and discipline that my wife (and I) have paid during their formative years. Indeed, God has blessed us!


16 posted on 06/05/2013 6:31:20 AM PDT by big truck
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To: Kaslin

All the journo-lists are checking their email and parroting instructions from the Democrats to feign outrage at Chambliss’ comments. What a sad, predictable and pathetic crew.


17 posted on 06/05/2013 6:34:54 AM PDT by Fido969
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To: Venturer

We were the same. We didn’t have the latest anything but we had fun.


18 posted on 06/05/2013 7:26:17 AM PDT by tiki
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To: LibsRJerks; Venturer
I had an entirely different experience as a stay-at-home mom. We lived in a small community about 15 minutes out of town. Housing was cheaper, so we had lots of stay-at-home moms. We had a little one-room school K-6 (later K-5) with one teacher and one aide who lived in our community. All the moms helped out in the classroom, drove on field trips, etc. We have many happy memories there as a whole family.

Unfortunately the school was shut down a few years ago and the kids are now bussed into town for school, but while it was open, it was the longest continuously operating school in California and all the old timers who had been educated there fought tooth and nail to keep it open.

19 posted on 06/05/2013 7:41:15 AM PDT by reformed_dem
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To: Venturer

I hear you as a wife and Mom, I have worked part time occasionally to help out but most of my family is disgusted that I don’t have a career and work. For years I allowed them to make me feel inferior and now I just tell them I like being home with the kids, it is fulfilling, I wish I would figured this out about 15 years ago.


20 posted on 06/05/2013 7:49:50 AM PDT by ThisLittleLightofMine
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To: Hoosier Catholic Momma; CottonBall; TenthAmendmentChampion; Chickensoup; JDoutrider; ...

Dave Ramsey ping


21 posted on 06/05/2013 9:12:33 AM PDT by CSM (Keeper of the Dave Ramsey Ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
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To: CSM

I hate the term “stay at home moms”. It suggests work away from home moms are different. It also suggests stay at home moms are not working moms. I think being a mother is the hardest job there is and it takes full time work to do it right. Read between those lines and you have me saying working mothers don’t do it right, and that is what I am saying. Latchkey kids are a problem and we’ve raised several generations of disconnected adults.


22 posted on 06/05/2013 9:21:30 AM PDT by CodeToad (Liberals are bloodsucking ticks. We need to light the matchstick to burn them off. -786 +969)
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To: Kaslin
I think far too many ladies, in the name of paying for stuff they don’t need, have left the household and the children for the workplace. Many of them didn’t even want to do this; they just felt obligated to do it by people like you. There are a lot of ladies who have sacrificed their ability to be full-time moms on the altar of the car payment.

Now, sometimes ladies have to go to work. There’s a time and a place for that kind of thing. But if there’s any way I can financially and budget-wise figure out how mom can be waiting at home with a big hug and a plate full of cookies when that fifth grader walks in the house – and if that’s what she wants to do – then you’re going to find me fighting for her opportunity to do that. There’s no higher calling on the planet than motherhood. We’ve lost that in our culture, and we’re suffering dearly for it.

Dave Ramsey summed this up beautifully. I think the biggest problem with our culture is the lack of stay-at-home moms. When both parents work, schools (and liberal teachers) become the primary influence of the kids. They learn all sorts of wonderful things there, like an entitlement attitude, liberalism, sex education, etc. A stay-at-home homeschooling mom is by far superior. It takes a strong mom do buck societal judgments and do this.
23 posted on 06/05/2013 9:29:31 AM PDT by yorkiemom
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To: CodeToad

I wholeheartedly agree with you. Good post.


24 posted on 06/05/2013 9:31:46 AM PDT by CSM (Keeper of the Dave Ramsey Ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
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To: CodeToad

I agree with all you say - except I like the term ‘stay at home mom’. What else would you suggest? “Work at home moms” would be confused with someone having a paying job at home. We used to say ‘housewife’ in the old days - but that implies being married to the house and says nothing about raising children.


25 posted on 06/05/2013 9:31:51 AM PDT by yorkiemom
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To: momtothree

I’ve seen comments on this site that stay-at-home-wives are “leeches.” I love Dave’s suggestion that guys with that attitude should try doing the job of a wife and mother for one week.

Young girls nowadays are often afraid to tell the guys they date that they want to be stay-at-home wives and mothers, just because of attitudes like that.


26 posted on 06/05/2013 9:32:41 AM PDT by Nea Wood (When life gets too hard to stand, kneel.)
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To: yorkiemom

“We used to say ‘housewife’ in the old days - but that implies being married to the house and says nothing about raising children.”

I always thought the term never needed mention of children anyway. Even a wife without kids is a full time job. We both work and it takes half our time each to keep the house going. We all knew what ‘housewife’ meant.


27 posted on 06/05/2013 9:40:03 AM PDT by CodeToad (Liberals are bloodsucking ticks. We need to light the matchstick to burn them off. -786 +969)
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To: Nea Wood

“I’ve seen comments on this site that stay-at-home-wives are “leeches.” “

The problem is that many girls I met in my early 20’s were leeches. They wanted to have kids to avoid working. I did meet several women that had college degrees and were professionals that said they would love to have kids and stay at home and maybe work part time from time to time. Those women were attractive to me and to all men. I knew one woman tat never worked but had kids and knew the value of being a housewife. She, too, was attractive in that regard. The problem is many girls come across as lazy and men know if they have kids the house would be a mess and the kids unruly.


28 posted on 06/05/2013 9:49:44 AM PDT by CodeToad (Liberals are bloodsucking ticks. We need to light the matchstick to burn them off. -786 +969)
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To: yorkiemom

How about “full-time mother”? “Homemaker”?


29 posted on 06/05/2013 10:57:50 AM PDT by Bigg Red (Restore us, O God of hosts; let your face shine, that we may be saved! -Ps80)
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To: CodeToad

I guess a PC term was ‘required’, in this day and age. Many young mothers now think they need to justify staying home, so they include being a mom in the title.

I stay home. And my son left home 4 years ago. I don’t call myself anything. All I tell people is that I don’t work (when they ask) because taxes are too high on a second income. If you can figure out a short term to explain that, I’ll be using it!


30 posted on 06/05/2013 12:09:48 PM PDT by yorkiemom
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To: Bigg Red

“Homemaker” used to be a term that was used about the time of ‘housewife’. At least, I think so.

“Full-time mother” is good - and will get the feminazis up in arms because they tout that one can give 100% of their time to mothers AND 100% of their time to a job. I think they must’ve failed math....


31 posted on 06/05/2013 12:11:12 PM PDT by yorkiemom
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To: CodeToad
The problem is many girls come across as lazy and men know if they have kids the house would be a mess and the kids unruly.

I feel for young men these days. They just don't know what they will get in a woman when it comes to family values and appreciating a good man.

Your wife is lucky also, that you recognize that it takes time and effort to run a house. A lot of men just expect the wife to do it all and work full-time. This week alone, I've spent 3 hours on the phone with insurance companies and making appointments. That's not to say I couldn't work part-time and still do all that. I'm not a spotless housekeeper ;) But taxes - there's the rub. I don't believe too many people realize what tax bracket they are in or how much the second income, or even a raise or bonus, is taxed.

And then there's the issue of Social Security...I digress, but if my husband works another 19 years until he's 67 and pays in at the max as he's done for years now - he'll pay in $167,000 (in 2013 dollars). However, he will only get an increase in SS of about $3K a year, or ~$50K if he lives until he's 83, the average life expectancy for men his age. If he lives until 90, he only gets back $70,000 so even that won't make it worth it. I know I am digressing, but I try to get the information out on how the government is screwing people over - and most don't even know it.
32 posted on 06/05/2013 12:19:55 PM PDT by yorkiemom
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To: Bigg Red

I’ve used both of those, as well as stay at home mom to describe myself. I didn’t go back to work until the last one graduated from high school. I wouldn’t have changed anything for the world! My husband and kids have been my greatest blessing, and even though there were LOTS of times that the going was tough, we pulled together and made it work. I have no regrets about my time as a homemaker. I put up with lots of insults and looks from others, but in my heart, I knew they were all wrong about the job I was doing. There is no higher calling in my book!


33 posted on 06/05/2013 12:26:52 PM PDT by FamiliarFace
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To: yorkiemom

A ‘retired successful mother’?


34 posted on 06/05/2013 2:33:17 PM PDT by CodeToad (Liberals are bloodsucking ticks. We need to light the matchstick to burn them off. -786 +969)
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To: momtothree

Why thank you, God bless you too


35 posted on 06/05/2013 3:44:59 PM PDT by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: CodeToad

I’ll take that one!


36 posted on 06/05/2013 5:07:44 PM PDT by yorkiemom
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To: Venturer

We didn’t have a lot of the things our friends had, but we had a good life with each other and our kids

And what can possibly be more important.


37 posted on 06/05/2013 8:58:59 PM PDT by handmade
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To: ThisLittleLightofMine

I wish I would figured this out about 15 years ago.

But the point is, you did figure it out. Families, relatives in general, and any one else are not the ones to dictate what you should do. It is your family, your life, and your choices. Good for you for sticking it out.


38 posted on 06/05/2013 9:16:40 PM PDT by handmade
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To: handmade

This thing with both people working started after WW2 whn women went to work and found they liked it better than staying home and it gave them more money.
Todays fiscal plan makes it difficult to live on one salary, the homes are expensive, and everybody wants a mansion instead of a small home that’s paid for.

I don’t have a mansion, but it’s paid for.


39 posted on 06/06/2013 3:09:28 AM PDT by Venturer
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To: Venturer

I don’t have a mansion, but it’s paid for.

Yes you do have a mansion. Being paid for gives you a great sense of freedom, you can spend your money how you want or need. Home is entirely what a person makes of it. Things like contentment, security, that is where it is.


40 posted on 06/06/2013 7:24:15 PM PDT by handmade
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To: PapaNew

Actually, God’s plan requires *parents* to both take the responsibility of raising and educating their children.

It is only post-industrial revolutionary thinking which proposes: men work, women stay home with the children.


41 posted on 07/24/2013 9:56:00 AM PDT by Altariel ("Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!")
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To: Altariel
God’s plan requires *parents* to both take the responsibility of raising and educating their children

Right, but to say the two have differing roles is not to say the two are mutually exclusive. Women are made by God physically, emotionally, and mentally to be the source of nurture, peace and security for the children. The man is built to provide the framework within which the mother and children may thrive. To say that woman's place, by-and-large, is in the home is not to say that man doesn't have are role in the home. Of course he does - a very important role. But just as God made men and women differently, so he has made their roles different.

It is true that the industrial revolution took many men away from their home-based farms to commute and work away from the home during the day. But for millennia, women were the ones to care for the children and the home, just as the Bible and nature itself prescribes. Titus 2:3-5.

42 posted on 07/24/2013 11:49:22 AM PDT by PapaNew
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