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What would an atheist chaplain do?
bookwormroom ^ | Jun 06 2013 at 8:54 am | Bookworm

Posted on 06/06/2013 2:25:07 PM PDT by virgil283

:::"Atheist military chaplain on the eve of battle:

“You’re going into battle tomorrow. No one is watching over you; no one is at your side; and you’re not cradled in anyone’s divine love. Have fun and be careful.”

Atheist military chaplain in a fox hole:

“We’re going to die! We’re going to die! And after that . . . nothing!!!”

Atheist military chaplain at a dying soldier’s side:

“Please, my son, ignore the fact that your life had no meaning, your death will have been equally meaningless and, when you die, you’ll rot and turn to dust. Don’t worry. Be happy.”

(Excerpt) Read more at bookwormroom.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Military/Veterans
KEYWORDS: atheistchaplain

1 posted on 06/06/2013 2:25:07 PM PDT by virgil283
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To: virgil283

He would search before posting.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/3028090/posts

;-)


2 posted on 06/06/2013 2:34:56 PM PDT by ButThreeLeftsDo (Support Free Republic!)
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To: virgil283

atheism really means everything is meaningless. all of what you learn, all of what you do, is ultimately pointless. and if everything is meaningless, to speak of right and wrong, is ridiculous, and it would be more accurate to say personal likes and personal dislikes. right or wrong are nonsensical terms when everything you do ultimately means nothing.


3 posted on 06/06/2013 2:45:22 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: virgil283
Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to worship nothing. Because we know by worshiping nothing and obeying the zero commandments of the nonexistent one, WE too may one day leave this mortal coil! Released from the shackles of the flesh! We shall experience the nonexistent love of an eternity of NOTHING!

But, my brothers and sisters. There are those wicked one that...that...believe in SOMETHING. Yes, yes I know. You may have friends, even family who believe in some sort of "soul" or "afterlife". DO NOT be deceived! Everyone will one day learn there is nothing...or at least they would if they still existed! So go forth! Go forth brothers and sisters! And preach the glory of nothing!

Bow your head with me, or don't, it doesn't really matter and repeat the nonexistent prayer.

Nobody which art nowhere.
Nonexistent be thy name.
Nothing come.
Nothing be done.
On earth, and maybe the International Space Station.
We don't expect anything, because you don't exist
And do nothing for us as we also do nothing for those around us.
For thine is the empty, the zero, the nothing.
In the name of the void we pray.
Amen

4 posted on 06/06/2013 2:57:11 PM PDT by apillar
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To: virgil283
What would an atheist chaplain do?

Slightly less than a Unitarian chaplain?

5 posted on 06/06/2013 3:17:23 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein)
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To: virgil283

I know what to tell the atheist

from Braveheart: The Lord tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he’s pretty sure you’re fuc***...Haha

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49V1zgQTEO4


6 posted on 06/06/2013 3:35:22 PM PDT by Irenic (The pencil sharpener and Elmer's glue is put away-- we've lost the red wheel barrow)
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To: virgil283

Or they would praise the all-powerful, all-knowing, all-seeing State.


7 posted on 06/06/2013 4:10:51 PM PDT by tbw2
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To: ButThreeLeftsDo
Sorry... I did search, both quick and archive and results showed nothing. Some times I wonder why bother, because someone is always there to complain....
8 posted on 06/06/2013 4:17:25 PM PDT by virgil283 ( ... """" anymore."''''''' ....)
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