Skip to comments.Daughter Living With Boyfriend Doesn't Get Mother's Support [Dear Abby says shacking up is OK]
Posted on 06/15/2013 7:27:26 AM PDT by grundle
DEAR ABBY: I am 25, and my boyfriend and I have been together since high school. We have now decided to take our relationship to the next level by living together.
When I brought up the idea to my mother a few months ago, she was against it. She said if I do this it will change my relationship with her. My boyfriend and I are college graduates, have good jobs and are self-supporting. If things work out between us, we will most likely be getting married next year.
I am an only child and I don't want to hurt my mother or have our relationship change, but I want to be able to live my own life. I would like her support, but don't know how to tell her what we have decided or if it would be worth breaking the special bond between my mother and me. -- ONLY CHILD IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR ONLY CHILD: Stop beating around the bush and tell your mother what your plans are. At 25, you are old enough -- and this relationship has gone on long enough -- that moving in together is a natural progression toward a permanent commitment. Her resistance is based on fear of what your independence from her will mean -- to her.
However, if you truly can't decide whether cutting the umbilical cord is worth it, then keep things as they are -- and remain her little girl forever.
(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...
> My oh my how Dear Abby has changed.
Didn’t the original “Dear Abby” die some time ago?
Who is this imposter, and why would anybody listen to it?
I'll spare you the lyrical details, but it was roughly like listening to your deacon-grandfather telling dirty jokes.
Dear Abby or Dear Satan? I think the latter.
Dear Abby died 16 Jan 2013
Its not the same person of course
do people still read those things?
Wow, not only is this counterfeit Dear Abby telling her it is ok to live in sin but if she doesnt live in sin she is immature.
I would tell this girl....your mother is your mother...you only get one of her....why not just get married?.....could it be that perhaps even after "being" with your boyfriend since HS...and all thru college....you still can't decide if he is the "one" true love"??? or is he the one that is not committing...
something is rotten if you've been with this guy all these long years and still haven't really committed...
Her daughter, Jeanne, took over a while back. She’s very liberal! Did I say Very?????? Why, yes I did!
I think ONLY CHILD IN CALIFORNIA will not be married next year if she moves in with her boyfriend.
Her mom is still wrong. She needs to let her daughter go and let her be an adult.
If Dear Abby had not died, reading this response in her name would have killed her. A lot of couples shack up these days, but it's still a bad idea, and it's wrong.
Abby is dead! Get over it!
Interesting how this psychic knew that the mother’s resistance was based on fear of the daughter’s independence. I suppose she consulted at length with the mother before preparing her answer.
Maybe the mother’s religious beliefs had something to do with her “resistance.”
Mom was honest with daughter and now daughter whines because there will be consequences from her action. If she really wants to “live her own life” then she has to suck up the effects of her disregard for her mother’s standards.
Sometimes there are consequences, whether you are right or wrong. Welcome to the World of Grown-Ups.
Dear Abby is dumb... how can she assume the mother is fearful of her daughter’s independence? There is no basis for that assumption. I bet if the daughter were to get married and move on with her husband, the mother would approve... let the daughter go ahead and live with her boyfriend of 8 years... (they are not sure about marrying each other at this point?) she will likely be disappointed... there us a good chance it will not lead to marriage... the so-called next step...
I wonder if it ever occurred to this advice giving bag of dirt that Mama's resistance is based on moral principle? Of course not, since Libtards are completely lacking in morals.
OTOH, it could also be due to fear. Without marriage, her BF could knock her up and she would have no recourse except to sue for child support.
Has shacking up ever been the basis for a stable relationship? And don't give me that "marriage is just a piece of paper" line of bull. That may be what libtards have turned it into, but that isn't how God sees it.
This utter silliness seems somehow appropriate:
If the Only Child hasn’t learned what fornication means by now it’s unlikely Mom’s opinion is going to matter. Where’s the dad?
That's exactly right. This advice is terrible even from a secular point of view. If you're 25 years old and have been together since high school, then you've been with this guy for at least 7 years. If you don't know by now if you want to marry him, it's because you don't really want to marry him. End it now before you slide into an unhappy marriage.
If she and the boyfriend have been together since high school and don’t know yet if the relationship will work in the context of marriage, they will never know, and may as well move on. That said, this “only child” is an adult several years over-she can do as she damn well pleases...
Maybe the “Dear Abby” schtick was real at first, but I just figured that the letters have been faked for decades.
Fake letters designed to push one social agenda or another. Kind of like how pols reach into their bag of tricks to read tear-jerker letters from brainwashed kids who are desperate for government programs.
People who actually write Dear Abby have way more issues than whatever they are whining about in the letters.
It’s like the adult version of writing letters to Santa. Wonder if the post office has its own incinerator for “Abby’s” mail. Or her supposed email addy is set for auto-delete.
“Dear Abby”, pen name Abigail Van Buren, just died earlier this year. However, she had been suffering from Alzheimer’s for many years, and her daughter has been running that column under the Dear Abby name for years.
Living together is NOT a natural or normal progression, making one’s relationship permanent is.
The answer most likely reflects the views of the newspaper itself, like most of them — anti-American, anti-tradition, anti-family, etc.
Glad I finally canceled my subscription to the “hometown” paper that shoved these values down our throat every day. I don’t need to pay for what the paper, its writers or editors consider the “new normal” — that and read illegal alien sob stories on the front page every day (this is in Kalifornia).
Which is amusing in light of her put down in the last line of the reply, calling out the girl for not cutting the umbilical cord and remaining mothers little girl!
Her daughter is an adult and is free to as she pleases, just as her mom is under no obligation to continue to feel respect towards her daughter.
The “imposter” is her daughter who took over the column a number of years ago.
Because 7-10 years ISN'T REALLY enough to time to get to know someone.
Surprised that Ms. Abby didn’t just tell her to go out their and get her Sex in a City groove on. Monogamy is for squares. Smash the patriarchy, sista!
Nothing in her letter suggests that her long time beau was her first sexual partner. Welcome to the new immorality.
Bad, very bad advice. The Abby of my day would be horrified that her name was attached to this. No, the “next level” is getting legally married. A lifetime commitment and if it’s in the cards starting a family, a house with a two car garage, matching towel sets, life insurance and spousal health insurance and filing their taxes jointly. Her mom already knows they’re probably spending more nights together than apart so who is the party who is immature and not wanting the responsibility. Living together is nothing but a little girl playing house for who don’t want the commitment.
The “new normal, natural progression of dating,” according to liberals: “hang out” together (for 5 years or longer), get the woman pregnant, move in together, guys leaves, woman goes on state assistance, woman meets new guy, repeat.
Abby has been a leftwinger for years.
The correct answer is to get married first and then live together until death do you part. This relationship is doomed.
I’ve seen the new immorality coming to fruition over many years under the flag of tolerance, mind your own business, freedom, liberation , modernity, and any other self justifying term available.
Dear Abby died years ago.
Now it is just a woman who writes to pander to left wing newspaper editors.
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