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Daughter Living With Boyfriend Doesn't Get Mother's Support [Dear Abby says shacking up is OK]
Dear Abby ^ | June 14, 2013 | Dear Abby

Posted on 06/15/2013 7:27:26 AM PDT by grundle

DEAR ABBY: I am 25, and my boyfriend and I have been together since high school. We have now decided to take our relationship to the next level by living together.

When I brought up the idea to my mother a few months ago, she was against it. She said if I do this it will change my relationship with her. My boyfriend and I are college graduates, have good jobs and are self-supporting. If things work out between us, we will most likely be getting married next year.

I am an only child and I don't want to hurt my mother or have our relationship change, but I want to be able to live my own life. I would like her support, but don't know how to tell her what we have decided or if it would be worth breaking the special bond between my mother and me. -- ONLY CHILD IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ONLY CHILD: Stop beating around the bush and tell your mother what your plans are. At 25, you are old enough -- and this relationship has gone on long enough -- that moving in together is a natural progression toward a permanent commitment. Her resistance is based on fear of what your independence from her will mean -- to her.

However, if you truly can't decide whether cutting the umbilical cord is worth it, then keep things as they are -- and remain her little girl forever.

(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...


TOPICS: Society
KEYWORDS:
My oh my how Dear Abby has changed. It wasn't that long ago that she would have opposed shacking up.
1 posted on 06/15/2013 7:27:26 AM PDT by grundle
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To: grundle

> My oh my how Dear Abby has changed.

Didn’t the original “Dear Abby” die some time ago?

Who is this imposter, and why would anybody listen to it?


2 posted on 06/15/2013 7:29:06 AM PDT by Westbrook (Children do not divide your love, they multiply it.)
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To: grundle
This reminds me of hearing Casey Kasem giving his usual enthusiastic, avuncular introduction to the Outkast song "Hey Ya!"

I'll spare you the lyrical details, but it was roughly like listening to your deacon-grandfather telling dirty jokes.

3 posted on 06/15/2013 7:32:41 AM PDT by schm0e ("we are in the midst of a coup.")
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To: grundle

Dear Abby or Dear Satan? I think the latter.


4 posted on 06/15/2013 7:33:11 AM PDT by WKUHilltopper (And yet...we continue to tolerate this crap...)
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To: WKUHilltopper

Dear Abby died 16 Jan 2013


5 posted on 06/15/2013 7:35:51 AM PDT by silverkor
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To: grundle
if you haven't figured it out by NOW... move on
6 posted on 06/15/2013 7:37:53 AM PDT by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: grundle

Its not the same person of course

do people still read those things?


7 posted on 06/15/2013 7:38:07 AM PDT by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: grundle
However, if you truly can't decide whether cutting the umbilical cord is worth it, then keep things as they are -- and remain her little girl forever.

Wow, not only is this counterfeit Dear Abby telling her it is ok to live in sin but if she doesn’t live in sin she is immature.

8 posted on 06/15/2013 7:38:42 AM PDT by Pontiac (The welfare state must fail because it is contrary to human nature and diminishes the human spirit.)
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To: grundle
they get these snarky little low information Valley girls to write these answers...

I would tell this girl....your mother is your mother...you only get one of her....why not just get married?.....could it be that perhaps even after "being" with your boyfriend since HS...and all thru college....you still can't decide if he is the "one" true love"??? or is he the one that is not committing...

something is rotten if you've been with this guy all these long years and still haven't really committed...

9 posted on 06/15/2013 7:38:44 AM PDT by cherry
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To: silverkor; pax_et_bonum

Her daughter, Jeanne, took over a while back. She’s very liberal! Did I say Very?????? Why, yes I did!


10 posted on 06/15/2013 7:38:52 AM PDT by Shimmer1 (No matter how cynical I get, I just can't keep up.)
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To: grundle

I think ONLY CHILD IN CALIFORNIA will not be married next year if she moves in with her boyfriend.

Her mom is still wrong. She needs to let her daughter go and let her be an adult.


11 posted on 06/15/2013 7:39:17 AM PDT by moviefan8
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To: Westbrook
Didn’t the original “Dear Abby” die some time ago?

If Dear Abby had not died, reading this response in her name would have killed her. A lot of couples shack up these days, but it's still a bad idea, and it's wrong.

12 posted on 06/15/2013 7:40:12 AM PDT by Pollster1 ("Shall not be infringed" is unambiguous.)
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To: grundle

Abby is dead! Get over it!


13 posted on 06/15/2013 7:41:02 AM PDT by napscoordinator (Santorum-Bachmann 2016 for the future of the Country!)
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To: grundle

Interesting how this psychic knew that the mother’s resistance was based on fear of the daughter’s independence. I suppose she consulted at length with the mother before preparing her answer.

Maybe the mother’s religious beliefs had something to do with her “resistance.”

Mom was honest with daughter and now daughter whines because there will be consequences from her action. If she really wants to “live her own life” then she has to suck up the effects of her disregard for her mother’s standards.

Sometimes there are consequences, whether you are right or wrong. Welcome to the World of Grown-Ups.


14 posted on 06/15/2013 7:44:37 AM PDT by mrs. a (It's a short life but a merry one...)
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To: WKUHilltopper

Dear Abby is dumb... how can she assume the mother is fearful of her daughter’s independence? There is no basis for that assumption. I bet if the daughter were to get married and move on with her husband, the mother would approve... let the daughter go ahead and live with her boyfriend of 8 years... (they are not sure about marrying each other at this point?) she will likely be disappointed... there us a good chance it will not lead to marriage... the so-called next step...


15 posted on 06/15/2013 7:44:49 AM PDT by latina4dubya (when i have money i buy books... if i have anything left, i buy 6-inch heels and a bottle of wine...)
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To: Westbrook
Her resistance is based on fear of what your independence from her will mean -- to her.

I wonder if it ever occurred to this advice giving bag of dirt that Mama's resistance is based on moral principle? Of course not, since Libtards are completely lacking in morals.

OTOH, it could also be due to fear. Without marriage, her BF could knock her up and she would have no recourse except to sue for child support.

Has shacking up ever been the basis for a stable relationship? And don't give me that "marriage is just a piece of paper" line of bull. That may be what libtards have turned it into, but that isn't how God sees it.

16 posted on 06/15/2013 7:47:55 AM PDT by Vigilanteman (Obama: Fake black man. Fake Messiah. Fake American. How many fakes can you fit in one Zer0?)
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To: grundle

This utter silliness seems somehow appropriate:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8x81Rpl_FA


17 posted on 06/15/2013 7:52:17 AM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy (Best WoT news at rantburg.com)
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To: grundle

If the Only Child hasn’t learned what fornication means by now it’s unlikely Mom’s opinion is going to matter. Where’s the dad?


18 posted on 06/15/2013 7:55:24 AM PDT by count-your-change (you don't have to be brilliant, not being stupid is enough)
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To: Chode
if you haven't figured it out by NOW... move on

That's exactly right. This advice is terrible even from a secular point of view. If you're 25 years old and have been together since high school, then you've been with this guy for at least 7 years. If you don't know by now if you want to marry him, it's because you don't really want to marry him. End it now before you slide into an unhappy marriage.

19 posted on 06/15/2013 7:58:00 AM PDT by old and tired
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To: Shimmer1

Yes....extremely pro-queer.


20 posted on 06/15/2013 7:59:37 AM PDT by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males----the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization).)
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To: grundle

If she and the boyfriend have been together since high school and don’t know yet if the relationship will work in the context of marriage, they will never know, and may as well move on. That said, this “only child” is an adult several years over-she can do as she damn well pleases...


21 posted on 06/15/2013 8:00:22 AM PDT by Texan5 ("You've got to saddle up your boys, you've got to draw a hard line"...)
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To: grundle

Maybe the “Dear Abby” schtick was real at first, but I just figured that the letters have been faked for decades.

Fake letters designed to push one social agenda or another. Kind of like how pols reach into their bag of tricks to read tear-jerker letters from brainwashed kids who are desperate for government programs.

People who actually write Dear Abby have way more issues than whatever they are whining about in the letters.

It’s like the adult version of writing letters to Santa. Wonder if the post office has its own incinerator for “Abby’s” mail. Or her supposed email addy is set for auto-delete.


22 posted on 06/15/2013 8:01:14 AM PDT by Ezekiel (The Obama-nation began with the Inauguration of Desolation.)
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To: silverkor

“Dear Abby”, pen name Abigail Van Buren, just died earlier this year. However, she had been suffering from Alzheimer’s for many years, and her daughter has been running that column under the Dear Abby name for years.


23 posted on 06/15/2013 8:02:27 AM PDT by Dilbert San Diego
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To: grundle

Living together is NOT a natural or normal progression, making one’s relationship permanent is.

The answer most likely reflects the views of the newspaper itself, like most of them — anti-American, anti-tradition, anti-family, etc.

Glad I finally canceled my subscription to the “hometown” paper that shoved these values down our throat every day. I don’t need to pay for what the paper, its writers or editors consider the “new normal” — that and read illegal alien sob stories on the front page every day (this is in Kalifornia).


24 posted on 06/15/2013 8:14:51 AM PDT by Bon of Babble (It was ME. I Let the Dogs Out.)
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To: Dilbert San Diego

Which is amusing in light of her put down in the last line of the reply, calling out the girl for not cutting the umbilical cord and remaining mothers little girl!


25 posted on 06/15/2013 8:19:05 AM PDT by Anima Mundi (Envy is just passive, lazy greed.)
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To: moviefan8
Her mom is still wrong. She needs to let her daughter go and let her be an adult.

Her daughter is an adult and is free to as she pleases, just as her mom is under no obligation to continue to feel respect towards her daughter.

26 posted on 06/15/2013 8:24:48 AM PDT by Jeff Chandler (Idiocracy is a documentary.)
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To: Westbrook

The “imposter” is her daughter who took over the column a number of years ago.


27 posted on 06/15/2013 8:35:22 AM PDT by Wiser now (Socialism does not eliminate poverty, it guarantees it.)
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To: grundle
I am 25, and my boyfriend and I have been together since high school.... If things work out between us, we will most likely be getting married next year.

Because 7-10 years ISN'T REALLY enough to time to get to know someone.

28 posted on 06/15/2013 8:38:40 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: Pontiac; Revolting cat!

Surprised that Ms. Abby didn’t just tell her to go out their and get her Sex in a City groove on. Monogamy is for squares. Smash the patriarchy, sista!


29 posted on 06/15/2013 8:40:15 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: count-your-change

Nothing in her letter suggests that her long time beau was her first sexual partner. Welcome to the new immorality.


30 posted on 06/15/2013 8:42:29 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: grundle

Bad, very bad advice. The Abby of my day would be horrified that her name was attached to this. No, the “next level” is getting legally married. A lifetime commitment and if it’s in the cards starting a family, a house with a two car garage, matching towel sets, life insurance and spousal health insurance and filing their taxes jointly. Her mom already knows they’re probably spending more nights together than apart so who is the party who is immature and not wanting the responsibility. Living together is nothing but a little girl playing house for who don’t want the commitment.


31 posted on 06/15/2013 8:46:05 AM PDT by bgill (This reply was mined before it was posted.)
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To: old and tired
100%
32 posted on 06/15/2013 8:49:47 AM PDT by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: grundle

The “new normal, natural progression of dating,” according to liberals: “hang out” together (for 5 years or longer), get the woman pregnant, move in together, guys leaves, woman goes on state assistance, woman meets new guy, repeat.


33 posted on 06/15/2013 8:50:52 AM PDT by Lou L (Health "insurance" is NOT the same as health "care")
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To: grundle

Abby has been a leftwinger for years.


34 posted on 06/15/2013 9:01:16 AM PDT by JSDude1 (Is John Boehner the Neville Chamberlain of American Politics?)
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To: grundle

The correct answer is to get married first and then live together until death do you part. This relationship is doomed.


35 posted on 06/15/2013 9:29:02 AM PDT by Sam Clements
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To: a fool in paradise

I’ve seen the new immorality coming to fruition over many years under the flag of tolerance, mind your own business, freedom, liberation , modernity, and any other self justifying term available.


36 posted on 06/15/2013 11:34:52 AM PDT by count-your-change (you don't have to be brilliant, not being stupid is enough)
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To: grundle

Dear Abby died years ago.

Now it is just a woman who writes to pander to left wing newspaper editors.


37 posted on 06/17/2013 11:05:20 AM PDT by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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