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Majority of Americans Think a Bear Could Beat a Shark in a Fight
New York Magazine ^ | 6/17/2013 | Dan Amira

Posted on 06/17/2013 4:03:31 PM PDT by nickcarraway

According to PPP — the YOLO-est of all the pollsters — 56 percent of Americans think a bear would win a fight against a shark, while 44 percent picked the shark. The setting of the fight was not specified, but presumably we are to assume water shallow enough for the bear to stand but deep enough for the shark to swim, otherwise the question would be kind of absurd. Anyway, here is someone who has thought more about this than you have.


TOPICS: Food; Pets/Animals; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: bear; fight; shark
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1 posted on 06/17/2013 4:03:31 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway
how about, who'll win;

a pissed off unarmed patriot or an arrogant armed liberal ?

Of course MY answer is the pissed off patriot.

2 posted on 06/17/2013 4:06:03 PM PDT by knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof, but they're true.)
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To: nickcarraway

3 posted on 06/17/2013 4:06:11 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Qui me amat, amat et canem meum.)
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To: nickcarraway

What if the bear and the shark were each riding on the backs of eagles?


4 posted on 06/17/2013 4:06:40 PM PDT by oblomov
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To: nickcarraway

Does the author know that bears can swim underwater?


5 posted on 06/17/2013 4:07:27 PM PDT by skr (May God confound the enemy)
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To: nickcarraway

This is why you play for homefield advantage. Clearly, the home team would win this fight.....no way around it.


6 posted on 06/17/2013 4:07:50 PM PDT by C. Edmund Wright (Tokyo Rove is more than a name, it's a GREAT WEBSITE)
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To: nickcarraway

What if the shark had a frickin’ laser on top of its’ head?


7 posted on 06/17/2013 4:08:22 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: nickcarraway

What if the bear’s gun was taken away and the shark had a laser on his head?


8 posted on 06/17/2013 4:08:56 PM PDT by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: All armed conservatives.)
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To: oblomov

What if one had a swarm of hornets coming out it’s mouth, and the other has a swarm of wasps?


9 posted on 06/17/2013 4:09:10 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: knarf

Probably not. The later would call the police to arrest the former, then have him audited and SWATed.


10 posted on 06/17/2013 4:09:52 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

I don’t know but I will bet a Jet can beat a Shark.


11 posted on 06/17/2013 4:10:07 PM PDT by Cyman
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To: nickcarraway

There are sharks and bears of various sizes, which seems reasonably relevant.


12 posted on 06/17/2013 4:10:08 PM PDT by Sherman Logan
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To: nickcarraway

What if the shark had lasers coming out of its eyes, and the bear had lightning bolts?


13 posted on 06/17/2013 4:10:14 PM PDT by oblomov
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To: tumblindice

The right to arm bears - it’s in the constitution!


14 posted on 06/17/2013 4:11:58 PM PDT by paolop
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To: nickcarraway

Why bother debating something that could be so easily answered? It isn’t like there’s a shortage of sharks or bears.


15 posted on 06/17/2013 4:12:14 PM PDT by MNDude (Sorry for typos. Probably written on a smartphone, and I have big clumsy fingers.)
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To: nickcarraway

European or African? Laden or unladen?


16 posted on 06/17/2013 4:12:54 PM PDT by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: All armed conservatives.)
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To: nickcarraway

The thing is, the bear has paws to hold chainsaws, and the shark has only its mouth. At 200 feet deep in the ocean, I’ll go with the shark, in a cave in the Rockies at 6000 feet, I’d lean toward the bear. The only fair thing to do is to find a neutral environment - toss them out of a helicopter with parachutes on and see which one wins by the time they hit the ground.


17 posted on 06/17/2013 4:13:15 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: dfwgator

What if the shark had been trained to kill by Chuck Norris, and the bear could shoot rockets out of its paws?


18 posted on 06/17/2013 4:13:16 PM PDT by oblomov
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To: Cyman

From yer first cigarette ‘til yer last dyin’ day.


19 posted on 06/17/2013 4:14:23 PM PDT by knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof, but they're true.)
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To: nickcarraway

No contest.

20 posted on 06/17/2013 4:14:34 PM PDT by Future Snake Eater (CrossFit.com)
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To: nickcarraway

As someone who has tangled with both, I’d fight a bear over a shark any day! Both would overpower a human in most fights but sharks have serious homefield advantage.


21 posted on 06/17/2013 4:15:49 PM PDT by CodeToad (Liberals are bloodsucking ticks. We need to light the matchstick to burn them off. -786 +969)
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To: dfwgator
What if the shark had a frickin’ laser on top of its’ head?

It's not complicated...

22 posted on 06/17/2013 4:16:01 PM PDT by gov_bean_ counter (Romans 1:22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,)
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To: paolop

So it’s an American bear! USA USA USA!
Ursine ursine, teeth like a saw,
Eat that fish up
Raw raw raw!


23 posted on 06/17/2013 4:16:19 PM PDT by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: All armed conservatives.)
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To: nickcarraway

The majority of Americans have never contemplated such a match, let alone decided on a theoretical victor.


24 posted on 06/17/2013 4:17:32 PM PDT by 9YearLurker
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To: nickcarraway

The bear will retreat, upon serious injury, if it’s cubs are not in danger. A shark will never stop trying to eat, as long as it is capable. If you gut a shark in the water, it’s instincts will compel it to devour it’s own entrails. My money’s on the shark.


25 posted on 06/17/2013 4:18:41 PM PDT by jttpwalsh
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To: nickcarraway

I don’t know about a shark, but these days, I would bet on a bear versus a bull.


26 posted on 06/17/2013 4:19:39 PM PDT by Fiji Hill
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To: Sherman Logan

Yeah. largest Bear vs Great White? Seems that makes a difference although I don’t see how even a large bear would prevail against any moderately sized shark if the bear stayed in the water. Shark would destroy his legs, he would fall down and the shark would eat him in a matter of minutes. No contest


27 posted on 06/17/2013 4:20:58 PM PDT by plain talk
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To: nickcarraway

Who has home field?


28 posted on 06/17/2013 4:21:42 PM PDT by OKSooner
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To: nickcarraway

I’d bet depending on who has the home field advantage.


29 posted on 06/17/2013 4:21:55 PM PDT by Amagi (Buying "Green"means inferior quality and increased cost.)
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To: plain talk

Shark on land = helpless. Bear in deep water = almost helpless.

Depth of water would seem to be a major variable.

A more important issue. Bear vs. Tiger.


30 posted on 06/17/2013 4:23:12 PM PDT by Sherman Logan
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To: nickcarraway

Why can’t they just be friends?


31 posted on 06/17/2013 4:26:27 PM PDT by 3Fingas (Sons and Daughters of Freedom, Committee of Correspondence)
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To: 9YearLurker

There was once lots of betting on Bears and Bulls in an arena...

Heh, not the pussy-footed financial ones, but the actual ones...:)


32 posted on 06/17/2013 4:26:57 PM PDT by rlmorel (Silence: The New Hate Speech)
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To: nickcarraway

This is just stupid. The answer is they wouldn’t fight.


33 posted on 06/17/2013 4:28:07 PM PDT by Steve Van Doorn (*in my best Eric Cartman voice* 'I love you, guys')
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To: oblomov
What if the shark had been trained to kill by Chuck Norris, and the bear could shoot rockets out of its paws?

What if the Bear was from San Francisco, spoke with a lisp and wore Mossy Oak boots?

34 posted on 06/17/2013 4:30:48 PM PDT by higgmeister ( In the Shadow of The Big Chicken!)
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To: nickcarraway

A polar bear and a great white; great white wins.
A polar bear and a sand shark; polar bear wins.

I worked as a machinist for a few years and we had these stupid discussions every day on the shop floor. This was an easy one.


35 posted on 06/17/2013 4:32:32 PM PDT by caltaxed
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To: nickcarraway

A bear is armed, therefore he wins.


36 posted on 06/17/2013 4:33:36 PM PDT by eyedigress ((zOld storm chaser from the west)/ ?s)
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To: nickcarraway

If the shark is swimming upstream to spawn, I go with the bear.


37 posted on 06/17/2013 4:35:44 PM PDT by kik5150
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To: nickcarraway

Easy. A shark is nothing but a big salmon to a bear.


38 posted on 06/17/2013 4:35:45 PM PDT by Procyon (Decentralize, degovernmentalize, deregulate, demonopolize, decredentialize, disentitle.)
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To: nickcarraway

Shark - teeth
Bear - teeth and claws

Game, set and match......bear.


39 posted on 06/17/2013 4:42:18 PM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: nickcarraway
what a really asinine question.

40 posted on 06/17/2013 4:43:22 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass (who'll take tomorrow,$pend it all today;who can take your income & tax it all away..0'Blowfly can :)
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To: nickcarraway

How could anyone have an opinion on this without knowing if the fight takes place on land or in the water?


41 posted on 06/17/2013 4:43:30 PM PDT by Pearls Before Swine
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To: nickcarraway

What if the bear had claws that were knives tipped with tiny guns that shot out even tinier knives?

What if the shark were actually being wielded as a club by a megabear?

I’m just saying this stuff can get pretty complex pretty quick.


42 posted on 06/17/2013 4:43:53 PM PDT by Yardstick
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To: blueunicorn6

And the bear has a .45. Shark: dead meat.


43 posted on 06/17/2013 4:46:33 PM PDT by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: All armed conservatives.)
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To: rlmorel

Yeah, the Sharks and the Jets had their fights too.


44 posted on 06/17/2013 4:50:31 PM PDT by 9YearLurker
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To: nickcarraway

Well yeah.....on land.


45 posted on 06/17/2013 4:59:41 PM PDT by Some Fat Guy in L.A. (Still bitterly clinging to rational thought despite it's unfashionability)
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To: nickcarraway

Wow!

That New York Magazine is all over the cutting edge of our tumultuous world.

I gots to ge me a perscription to that....


46 posted on 06/17/2013 5:01:10 PM PDT by DanielRedfoot
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To: Sherman Logan

I went with the premise stated in the article which is the only reasonable one to assume - bear wading into shallow water.


47 posted on 06/17/2013 5:03:57 PM PDT by plain talk
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To: nickcarraway

What if the shark had all the meta data on the bear’s contacts but the bear had all the shark’s emails


48 posted on 06/17/2013 5:06:05 PM PDT by EandH Dad (sleeping giants wake up REALLY grumpy)
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To: nickcarraway

Bears vs Sharks. Do they battle with a football or a puck?


49 posted on 06/17/2013 5:11:53 PM PDT by tflabo (Truth or Tyranny)
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To: nickcarraway

I’m glad the poll people have settled this.


50 posted on 06/17/2013 5:21:52 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (23,116,441 households on Food Stamps! Now that's what I call HISTORICAL!!!)
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