Posted on 06/18/2013 11:22:34 AM PDT by Sopater
A LABOUR politician has defended his beliefs in extra-terrestrial life - after claiming to have fathered a child with an alien.
Married father-of-three Simon Parkes, who represents Stakesby on Whitby Town Council, said his wife had rowed with him after revealing he had a child called Zarka with an alien he refers to as the Cat Queen.
The 53-year-old driving instructor said he has sexual relations with the alien about four times a year.
“What will happen is that we will hold hands and I will say ‘I’m ready’ and then the technology I don’t understand will take us up to a craft orbiting the earth," he explained.
“My wife found out about it and was very unhappy, clearly. That caused a few problems, but it is not on a human level, so I don’t see it as wrong.
Councillor Parkes, who also claims his "real mother" is a 9ft green alien with eight fingers, said people only claim he is mad because they have not shared his experiences and that the encounters don't affect his work on behalf of Whitby residents.
“I can understand how you would say that because you have not seen anything yourself and that’s your immediate fallback position, but you come and spend some time with me and follow me around for a day and you will actually walk away shaking your head because you will think actually he’s not mad.
“There are plenty of people in my position who don’t chose to come out and say it because they are terrified it will destroy their careers.”
He told Channel 4 documentary Confessions Of An Alien Abductee his first recollection is of being lifted out of his cot by an alien.
Councillor Parkes, who spends hours drawing his extra-terrestrial experiences as it helps him to comes to terms with them, said: “The only thing I can remember after that is it saying to me you will never be hurt, your will never be harmed.
“I think I am fairly clear in my head that I am being monitored [by aliens] very closely and if there is anthing that’s seriously about to happen or does happen then I am fairly confident in my own mind that they will intervene, they have in the past.”
He said he is also often followed by the security services and that he and a female passenger in his car were recently abducted by aliens in Cloughton, near Scarborough, before being returned to the vehicle as it moved.”
Demonic.
For certain sure.
take THAT, Silky Pony!
IBTS (In Before The Skeptics!)
Don’t let Marco Rubio find out. He’ll want to give the little alien amnesty and a fast track to American citizenship.
Speaking on YouTube, Coun Parkes said he first saw an alien at the age of eight months, when “a traditional kite-shaped face”, with huge eyes, tiny nostrils and a thin mouth appeared over his cot.
He said: “Two green stick things came in. I was aware of some movement over my head. I thought, ‘they're not mummy's hands, mummy's hands are pink’.”
He added: “I was looking straight into its face. It enters my mind through my eyes and it sends a message down my optic nerve into my brain.
“It says ‘I am your real mother, I am your more important mother’.”
He said after contracting chicken pox at the age of three, his mother went to work and left him at home to fend for himself when an 8ft “doctor” dressed as a waiter appeared to offer help.
dude ... why did you have to self-immolate?
Well, I think the guys deserves some real credit here.
No that is a clever way to explain yourself out of a divorce, “hey, honey she wasn’t human, just a space alien. It doesn’t count.”
Not so much.
"...forsaking all others..."
Besides...humans and chimps share 98% of their DNA yet inter species coitus will not produce a human-chimp hybrid. What makes this lunatic think that aliens and humans could do it? He is a stark raving nutter.
...God knows we’ve tried...
Whitby Abbey
Investigate!
Well, how else do you explain Bill Maher?
Gee, willfully forcing one’s genitals into the genitalia of a green, 9-foot tall, eight-fingered female alien. That’s way too slimily grisly to contemplate!
Then I reconsidered: What about cramming one’s genitalia into a warm apple pie, as depicted in “American Wedding”? Or how about into the genitalia of female goats as some middle-eastern “allahu Akhbar” screamers are more than wont?
Now, what about forcibly ramming said parts into the thin-skinned, fecal exit port of another male human?
What’s next in the devolution of humans? Cramming male parts into edgy iron storm drain holes? Some are actually attracted to little guillotines as they undergo what Limbaugh calls the choppadickoffame “medical” procedure.
We’re being conditioned here (if not being tempted away from God’s flock), are we not, not to judge the genitalia-ramming choices of others? In most every case, we’re not allowed to have thoughts critical of such people. Many people get jobs and promotions based on their participation if not willing subservience to such things. So much good, right? (NOT!)
Similarly, I supposed we’re supposed not to be critical—like this poor man’s short-sighted wife and mother of his children—of this guy’s choices with the green alien.
This story and our response to us can surely lift us up, no?
I suppose fantasized sex with a 9-foot, 8-fingered alien is a lesser evil than actually damaging human fecal exit port skin and spreading disease. After all, the occurrence of the former compared to the latter is about “at most 4” to billions of times per year. So, I’ll cut the guy just a teensy bit of slack, except for what he’s done to his own wife and family, and everyone else in his audience he would lead astray. OK, let me revise that: no slack.
For those other selfish, mafia-style disease-spreading sadists I will have no sense that He’s done an injustice when God separates those to His left from the rest of us.
His Plan for us hold SO much more promise of goodness!
HF
I’ve always had a spore theory regarding Maher.
Lighten up dude.....the guy says he had sex with an alien - he is nuts.
And it still is a clever excuse.
There used to be insane asylums for people like that. And society as a whole was better off then. Hmmmm....
No, that's the NSA.
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