Skip to comments.The Rude Man of Cerne
Posted on 06/21/2013 9:33:05 AM PDT by BO Stinkss
The Rude Man of Cerne, better known as the Cerne Abbas Giant, is a giant figure of a naked man with an inappropriately erect phallus, wielding a primitive club in his right hand, made on a hill near the village of Cerne Abbas in Dorset, England. The Cerne Abbas Giant was created by carving through the turf of the hillside to a depth of approximately 30cm to reveal the underlying chalk common in this region. Measuring 55 meters in length and 50.5 meters wide, if measured from hand to hand, it is one of the largest and the most popular hillfigures in Britain. The remarkable phallus alone, including its testicles, is 11 meters long and nearly the length of its head. The Giant has been cheekily described as "Britain's most famous phallus". According to one publication, postcards of the Giant were the only indecent photographs that could be sent through the English Post Office.
Although the Cerne Abbas Giant is often thought of as an ancient creation, its history cannot be traced back further than the late 17th century. The earliest known written reference to the giant appear in a 4 November 1694 entry in the Churchwardens' Accounts from St Mary's Church in Cerne Abbas. Later references to the giant started appearing in contemporary magazines beginning in 1763.
It has been suggested that the figure originally held a cloak in its left arm and stood over a disembodied head. The cloak may have been a depiction of an animal skin, giving credence to the theory that the giant was a depiction of a hunter, or alternatively, Hercules with the skin of the Nemean lion over his arm. Additionally, reviewing historical depictions of the giant, it has been suggested that the Giant's current large erection is, in fact, the result of merging a circle representing his navel with a smaller penis during a re-cut. The lack of earlier descriptions leads modern scholars to conclude that the Giant is no older than the 17th century, and perhaps originated as political satire.
Regardless of its age, the Cerne Abbas Giant has become an important part of local culture and folklore, which often associates it with fertility. Local women who wanted to conceive would spend a night alone on the hillside, particularly within the confines of his giant phallus, and young couples would make love on the giant to ensure conception. Locals would erect a maypole on the earthwork, around which childless couples would dance to promote fertility. Sleeping on the giant was also thought to be a good way to ensure a future wedding for unmarried women.
In modern times the giant has been used for several publicity stunts and as an advertisement to promote condoms, jeans and bicycles, among numerous other things.
The ultimate crop circle.
Paging Erik Von Daniken!
The locals must think a lot of the image ... in four hundred years you would think the grass would have over-grown the chalk cut outs, so someone is ‘maintaining’ the image.
This calls for a rude limerick.
I once saw The Rude Man of Cerne
With a look that was suitably stern
Said “Look at his head!’
“Not that one!” I said
And she said “I’m waiting my turn!”
there was a rude man from cerne
who’s nipples were crooked we’d learn
his head was so small,
his phallus so tall,
his club didn’t quite earn the term.
better than mine lol
A rude dude who was hung like a horse
Is first choice with the ladies, of course.
..They long for a dong
..That can bong a huge gong
So this dude is the choice they endorse.
The Rude Man of Cerne On hillside was burned Without a shirt Carved into dirt But where it counted was firm
yurs gets my vote.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Stiff competition, wery stiff indeed.
But I’m ‘umbled by this award of an excited little gold-plated man from the academy of people titillated by the use of the word ‘dong’.
We went to the Rude Man of Cerne Great lust in our minds it did churn the women would gawk "see, it is only chalk, 'twas hardly worth waiting our turn."
This is what a real Bronze Age chalk outline looks like:
White Horse of Uffington
"For the White Horse knew England,
When there was none to know.
He saw the first oar break or bend,
He saw heaven fall and the world end,
O God, how long ago."
- G.K. Chesterton
Who decides these things?
No matter...you always get points for attempting!
Heh, not bad, not bad at all RC...:)
LOL, see what you started?
It’s Bill Clinton!
There was once a young man from Britain,
with whom all the young girls were smitten.
He had big junk,
he wasn’t a punk,
And all the young ladies he was hittin’.
There once was a rude man from Cerne.
For whom all the young lasses yearned.
Of his pud made of chalk
The lasses would talk.
And how he made their nether parts burn.
|GGG managers are SunkenCiv, StayAt HomeMother & Ernest_at_the_Beach|
Thanks BO Stinkss.It has been suggested that the figure originally held a cloak in its left arm and stood over a disembodied head. The cloak may have been a depiction of an animal skin, giving credence to the theory that the giant was a depiction of a hunter, or alternatively, Hercules with the skin of the Nemean lion over his arm. Additionally, reviewing historical depictions of the giant, it has been suggested that the Giant's current large erection is, in fact, the result of merging a circle representing his navel with a smaller penis during a re-cut. The lack of earlier descriptions leads modern scholars to conclude that the Giant is no older than the 17th century, and perhaps originated as political satire.To all -- please ping me to other topics which are appropriate for the GGG list.
Ogmios, the Celtic Hercules
He’s out and about in old Blighty
Tight whities are nowhere in sighty
He points to the sky
Heads always held high
We laugh but he’s banged Aphrodite
Ok, if this thread wasn’t hilarious before, the Weiner head made it perfect.