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The Rude Man of Cerne
http://www.amusingplanet.com/ ^ | June 20, 2013 | Kaushik

Posted on 06/21/2013 9:33:05 AM PDT by BO Stinkss

The Rude Man of Cerne, better known as the Cerne Abbas Giant, is a giant figure of a naked man with an inappropriately erect phallus, wielding a primitive club in his right hand, made on a hill near the village of Cerne Abbas in Dorset, England. The Cerne Abbas Giant was created by carving through the turf of the hillside to a depth of approximately 30cm to reveal the underlying chalk common in this region. Measuring 55 meters in length and 50.5 meters wide, if measured from hand to hand, it is one of the largest and the most popular hillfigures in Britain. The remarkable phallus alone, including its testicles, is 11 meters long and nearly the length of its head. The Giant has been cheekily described as "Britain's most famous phallus". According to one publication, postcards of the Giant were the only indecent photographs that could be sent through the English Post Office.

Although the Cerne Abbas Giant is often thought of as an ancient creation, its history cannot be traced back further than the late 17th century. The earliest known written reference to the giant appear in a 4 November 1694 entry in the Churchwardens' Accounts from St Mary's Church in Cerne Abbas. Later references to the giant started appearing in contemporary magazines beginning in 1763.

It has been suggested that the figure originally held a cloak in its left arm and stood over a disembodied head. The cloak may have been a depiction of an animal skin, giving credence to the theory that the giant was a depiction of a hunter, or alternatively, Hercules with the skin of the Nemean lion over his arm. Additionally, reviewing historical depictions of the giant, it has been suggested that the Giant's current large erection is, in fact, the result of merging a circle representing his navel with a smaller penis during a re-cut. The lack of earlier descriptions leads modern scholars to conclude that the Giant is no older than the 17th century, and perhaps originated as political satire.

Regardless of its age, the Cerne Abbas Giant has become an important part of local culture and folklore, which often associates it with fertility. Local women who wanted to conceive would spend a night alone on the hillside, particularly within the confines of his giant phallus, and young couples would make love on the giant to ensure conception. Locals would erect a maypole on the earthwork, around which childless couples would dance to promote fertility. Sleeping on the giant was also thought to be a good way to ensure a future wedding for unmarried women.

In modern times the giant has been used for several publicity stunts and as an advertisement to promote condoms, jeans and bicycles, among numerous other things.


TOPICS: Arts/Photography
KEYWORDS: art; cerneabbasgiant; godsgravesglyphs; humor; sourcetitlenoturl; travel; unitedkingdom
Rude man? Looks like a proud man to me.


1 posted on 06/21/2013 9:33:05 AM PDT by BO Stinkss
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To: BO Stinkss

The ultimate crop circle.


2 posted on 06/21/2013 9:36:01 AM PDT by tpmintx (Gun free zones are hunting preserves for unarmed people.)
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To: tpmintx

Paging Erik Von Daniken!


3 posted on 06/21/2013 9:43:22 AM PDT by ConorMacNessa (HM/2 USN, 3/5 Marines RVN 1969 - St. Michael the A<font size=4><b>rchangel defend us in Battle!)
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To: tpmintx

The locals must think a lot of the image ... in four hundred years you would think the grass would have over-grown the chalk cut outs, so someone is ‘maintaining’ the image.


4 posted on 06/21/2013 9:49:45 AM PDT by MHGinTN (Being deceived can be cured.)
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To: BO Stinkss

This calls for a rude limerick.


5 posted on 06/21/2013 9:51:35 AM PDT by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: All armed conservatives.)
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To: tumblindice

I once saw The Rude Man of Cerne
With a look that was suitably stern
Said “Look at his head!’
“Not that one!” I said
And she said “I’m waiting my turn!”


6 posted on 06/21/2013 10:07:04 AM PDT by rlmorel (Silence: The New Hate Speech)
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To: BO Stinkss

there was a rude man from cerne
who’s nipples were crooked we’d learn
his head was so small,
his phallus so tall,
his club didn’t quite earn the term.


7 posted on 06/21/2013 10:09:22 AM PDT by teeman8r (Armageddon won't be pretty, but it's not like it's the end of the world.)
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To: rlmorel

better than mine lol


8 posted on 06/21/2013 10:10:17 AM PDT by teeman8r (Armageddon won't be pretty, but it's not like it's the end of the world.)
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To: rlmorel

A rude dude who was hung like a horse
Is first choice with the ladies, of course.
..They long for a dong
..That can bong a huge gong
So this dude is the choice they endorse.


9 posted on 06/21/2013 10:12:02 AM PDT by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: All armed conservatives.)
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To: BO Stinkss; a fool in paradise
The Rude Man of Cerne
On hillside was burned
Without a shirt
Carved into dirt
But where it counted was firm

10 posted on 06/21/2013 10:16:40 AM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: tumblindice

yurs gets my vote.

5cats


11 posted on 06/21/2013 10:24:27 AM PDT by fivecatsandadog (Let's not be so open-minded that our brains fall out.)
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To: fivecatsandadog

Thank you. Thank you very much.
Stiff competition, wery stiff indeed.
But I’m ‘umbled by this award of an excited little gold-plated man from the academy of people titillated by the use of the word ‘dong’.
Rudely yours,
‘umbleddice


12 posted on 06/21/2013 10:35:04 AM PDT by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: All armed conservatives.)
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To: tumblindice
 We went to the Rude Man of Cerne
Great lust in our minds it did churn
the women would gawk
"see, it is only chalk, 
'twas hardly worth waiting our turn."

13 posted on 06/21/2013 10:36:17 AM PDT by fish hawk (no tyrant can remain in power without the consent and cooperation of his victims.)
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To: BO Stinkss
He's quite recent -- much too realistic (e.g. feet are shown in a 3/4 view).

This is what a real Bronze Age chalk outline looks like:

White Horse of Uffington

"For the White Horse knew England,
When there was none to know.
He saw the first oar break or bend,
He saw heaven fall and the world end,
O God, how long ago."

- G.K. Chesterton

14 posted on 06/21/2013 10:59:41 AM PDT by AnAmericanMother (Ecce Crucem Domini, fugite partes adversae. Vicit Leo de Tribu Iuda, Radix David, Alleluia!)
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To: BO Stinkss
inappropriately erect phallus

Who decides these things?

15 posted on 06/21/2013 2:15:30 PM PDT by foxpro2
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To: teeman8r

No matter...you always get points for attempting!


16 posted on 06/21/2013 2:45:43 PM PDT by rlmorel (Silence: The New Hate Speech)
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To: Revolting cat!

Heh, not bad, not bad at all RC...:)


17 posted on 06/21/2013 2:46:57 PM PDT by rlmorel (Silence: The New Hate Speech)
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To: tumblindice

LOL, see what you started?


18 posted on 06/21/2013 2:47:29 PM PDT by rlmorel (Silence: The New Hate Speech)
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To: BO Stinkss

It’s Bill Clinton!


19 posted on 06/21/2013 2:53:45 PM PDT by eCSMaster (Palin was right (again)!)
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To: BO Stinkss
There once was a man from Cerne
For the love of a woman he did yearn
He said "Hubba hubba
My name is Bubba
Where can I find an intern?"

20 posted on 06/21/2013 3:47:21 PM PDT by Manic_Episode (Some days...it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps....)
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To: MHGinTN

21 posted on 06/21/2013 4:50:12 PM PDT by Oztrich Boy ("New Yorks Finest" are now "The Untouchables")
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To: rlmorel
That fellow from Cerne was quite rude,
As he paraded about in the nude.
People all loved to talk
About his club made of chalk,
And how that thing did protrude!
22 posted on 06/21/2013 5:05:14 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Qui me amat, amat et canem meum.)
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To: BO Stinkss

23 posted on 06/21/2013 5:24:42 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Qui me amat, amat et canem meum.)
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To: BO Stinkss

There was once a young man from Britain,
with whom all the young girls were smitten.
He had big junk,
he wasn’t a punk,
And all the young ladies he was hittin’.


24 posted on 06/21/2013 7:42:04 PM PDT by july4thfreedomfoundation (November 4, 2008 and November 6, 2012.....Two days that will live in infamy!)
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To: Joe 6-pack

Magnificent :)


25 posted on 06/21/2013 8:36:03 PM PDT by Manic_Episode (Some days...it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps....)
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To: rlmorel

There once was a rude man from Cerne.
For whom all the young lasses yearned.
Of his pud made of chalk
The lasses would talk.
And how he made their nether parts burn.


26 posted on 06/21/2013 8:54:04 PM PDT by Lurker (Violence is rarely the answer. But when it is it is the only answer.)
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To: StayAt HomeMother; Ernest_at_the_Beach; decimon; 1010RD; 21twelve; 24Karet; 2ndDivisionVet; ...

 GGG managers are SunkenCiv, StayAt HomeMother & Ernest_at_the_Beach
Thanks BO Stinkss.
It has been suggested that the figure originally held a cloak in its left arm and stood over a disembodied head. The cloak may have been a depiction of an animal skin, giving credence to the theory that the giant was a depiction of a hunter, or alternatively, Hercules with the skin of the Nemean lion over his arm. Additionally, reviewing historical depictions of the giant, it has been suggested that the Giant's current large erection is, in fact, the result of merging a circle representing his navel with a smaller penis during a re-cut. The lack of earlier descriptions leads modern scholars to conclude that the Giant is no older than the 17th century, and perhaps originated as political satire.
To all -- please ping me to other topics which are appropriate for the GGG list.


27 posted on 06/22/2013 6:46:52 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (McCain or Romney would have been worse, if you're a dumb ass.)
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Ogmios, the Celtic Hercules
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ogmios


28 posted on 06/22/2013 6:48:30 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (McCain or Romney would have been worse, if you're a dumb ass.)
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To: BO Stinkss; SunkenCiv; Salamander
And now a word
From the First Runner-up
In the Londo Mollari
Look-alike Contest


29 posted on 06/22/2013 7:01:34 PM PDT by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: shibumi

;’)


30 posted on 06/22/2013 7:03:24 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (McCain or Romney would have been worse, if you're a dumb ass.)
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To: tumblindice

He’s out and about in old Blighty
Tight whities are nowhere in sighty
He points to the sky
Heads always held high
We laugh but he’s banged Aphrodite


31 posted on 06/22/2013 8:08:42 PM PDT by Yardstick
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To: Joe 6-pack; xsmommy

Ok, if this thread wasn’t hilarious before, the Weiner head made it perfect.


32 posted on 06/23/2013 2:02:52 AM PDT by Explorer89 (And now, let the wild rumpus start!!)
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To: Explorer89

hilarious!


33 posted on 06/24/2013 4:57:45 AM PDT by xsmommy
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