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Sheriff's Log [False Report of Dead Moose]
St. Maries Gazette Record ^ | June 19, 2013 | Unknown

Posted on 06/25/2013 2:49:04 PM PDT by matt1234

Monday, June 10. 8:17 p.m. A St. Maries man reported he had been watching a moose near his house for a few days. He said now though it looks like the moose is dead. He said it could be lying down, but he believes it is dead. The man called back later and said he got overexcited and that the moose was still alive.


TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Humor; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: humor; moose
Reproduced from hardcopy of the St. Maries [Idaho] Gazette Record.
1 posted on 06/25/2013 2:49:04 PM PDT by matt1234
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To: matt1234

cue Mark Twain quotes...


2 posted on 06/25/2013 2:53:11 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: matt1234

cue Mark Twain quotes...


3 posted on 06/25/2013 2:53:11 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: matt1234

An undead moose once bit my sister.


4 posted on 06/25/2013 2:55:07 PM PDT by DannyTN
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To: matt1234

My Federal Forestry workout buddy took a dead bear call; hit by a car. So, four of them arrived and loaded this massive “dead” bear into a pickup truck. As they drove it to area where they take dead animals they cut through a subdivision. Well, the “dead” bear woke up. So they stopped the truck and were trying to keep it in the back with shovels while the rifleman caught up to them. Well, it was now thoroughly awake and breaking shovels. It hopped down and was chasing them when the rifleman screeched to a stop whipped out the trank gun and shot the sucker in one smooth motion. As a side note, it takes a couple of minutes for the drug to work. This bear chased them until it was just walking. Then, finally, it fell over. (We laughed our *sses off at this story. He said, “Man, you haven’t lived until you’ve been chased by a really mad bear.”)


5 posted on 06/25/2013 2:56:23 PM PDT by Gen.Blather
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To: nickcarraway
cue Mark Twain quotes..

The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful....

6 posted on 06/25/2013 2:56:51 PM PDT by Ol' Dan Tucker (People should not be afraid of the government. Government should be afraid of the people)
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To: matt1234

There’s a well-known two-step procedure. Step 1: take a cattle prod to the moose’s genitals. If he doesn’t stir, he’s dead. If he does, proceed to step 2: how to tell your proctologist where the cattle prod ended up.


7 posted on 06/25/2013 2:57:07 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: DannyTN

“An undead moose once bit my sister.”

In the light of the full moon, does she develop more chest and leg hair than the average Parisian chick?


8 posted on 06/25/2013 2:57:47 PM PDT by Gen.Blather
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To: matt1234

That’s not a moose its....oh, my God....Code 92, Code 92! Condition RED! Condition RED! FLOTUS Down! FLOTUS Down!


9 posted on 06/25/2013 2:58:46 PM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: Gen.Blather
"In the light of the full moon, does she develop more chest and leg hair than the average Parisian chick?"

Definitely less but that rack is wicked!

10 posted on 06/25/2013 2:59:13 PM PDT by DannyTN
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To: Buckeye McFrog; Billthedrill

ROFLOL!


11 posted on 06/25/2013 3:02:16 PM PDT by moose07 (the truth will out ,one day. This is not the post you are looking for ....move along now....)
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To: Gen.Blather
My Federal Forestry workout buddy took a dead bear call; hit by a car.

Great story.

12 posted on 06/25/2013 3:04:23 PM PDT by matt1234 (The NRA: Redefining "Too big to fail.")
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To: DannyTN

“Definitely less but that rack is wicked! “

OMG! A weremoose.


13 posted on 06/25/2013 3:04:58 PM PDT by Gen.Blather
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To: Gen.Blather
The only thing that would have made if funnier would be hitting the wrong target on the first shot. How do you explain "bear tranquilizer" if you have to take an on the job blood test the next day.
14 posted on 06/25/2013 3:13:01 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (This message has been recorded but not approved by Obama's StasiNet. Read it at your peril.)
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To: matt1234

What’s it coming to when you can’t trust a dead moose to report things accurately ...


15 posted on 06/25/2013 3:13:48 PM PDT by x
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To: matt1234; Slings and Arrows; JoeProBono; Revolting cat!
This møøse you sold me is dead.


16 posted on 06/25/2013 3:14:08 PM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: DannyTN

Mynd you, un dead møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...


17 posted on 06/25/2013 3:17:03 PM PDT by ConservativeInPA (Molon Labe - Shall not be questioned)
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To: a fool in paradise

18 posted on 06/25/2013 3:17:57 PM PDT by JoeProBono (Mille vocibus imago valet;-{)
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To: JoeProBono
Spider-moose, spider-moose, does whatever a spider doose...


19 posted on 06/25/2013 3:19:34 PM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: KarlInOhio

“The only thing that would have made if funnier would be hitting the wrong target on the first shot. How do you explain “bear tranquilizer” if you have to take an on the job blood test the next day.”

I actually wrote this into a prize winning story. I PDF’d it but I can’t figure out how to send it to you. But I did use your idea. (I mentioned my buddy’s real name in the story, too. He loved it.)


20 posted on 06/25/2013 3:20:54 PM PDT by Gen.Blather
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To: Buckeye McFrog

Aren’t you afraid the S/S will beat down your door!?


21 posted on 06/25/2013 3:23:22 PM PDT by higgmeister ( In the Shadow of The Big Chicken!)
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To: a fool in paradise

22 posted on 06/25/2013 3:25:31 PM PDT by JoeProBono (Mille vocibus imago valet;-{)
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To: matt1234

It takes a looooong time to eat a moose. I’ll never eat it again.


23 posted on 06/25/2013 3:30:55 PM PDT by eldoradude (Let's water the tree of liberty with THEIR blood...)
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To: matt1234

Ah, the St.Maries Gazette Record. I lived near there (30 mi)back in the early ‘70’s for 5 or 6 years. I love Idaho as long as you don’t eat too many huckleberrys. Elk, black bear White and Blacktail deer, grouse, trout...truly a wonderful place to live.


24 posted on 06/25/2013 4:00:12 PM PDT by gorush (History repeats itself because human nature is static)
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To: JoeProBono; Daffynition

It's all laffs and pictures until the møøse wakes up and bites yør sister.

25 posted on 06/25/2013 4:11:40 PM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: matt1234

Let sleeping moose lie.


26 posted on 06/25/2013 4:59:49 PM PDT by Kirkwood (Zombie Hunter)
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To: DannyTN

Quick!

Somebody post a picture of a wicked rack!


27 posted on 06/25/2013 5:11:48 PM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: Gen.Blather

28 posted on 06/26/2013 6:43:58 AM PDT by Daffynition (Stand Your Ground)
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