Skip to comments.Sheriff's Log [False Report of Dead Moose]
Posted on 06/25/2013 2:49:04 PM PDT by matt1234
Monday, June 10. 8:17 p.m. A St. Maries man reported he had been watching a moose near his house for a few days. He said now though it looks like the moose is dead. He said it could be lying down, but he believes it is dead. The man called back later and said he got overexcited and that the moose was still alive.
cue Mark Twain quotes...
cue Mark Twain quotes...
An undead moose once bit my sister.
My Federal Forestry workout buddy took a dead bear call; hit by a car. So, four of them arrived and loaded this massive “dead” bear into a pickup truck. As they drove it to area where they take dead animals they cut through a subdivision. Well, the “dead” bear woke up. So they stopped the truck and were trying to keep it in the back with shovels while the rifleman caught up to them. Well, it was now thoroughly awake and breaking shovels. It hopped down and was chasing them when the rifleman screeched to a stop whipped out the trank gun and shot the sucker in one smooth motion. As a side note, it takes a couple of minutes for the drug to work. This bear chased them until it was just walking. Then, finally, it fell over. (We laughed our *sses off at this story. He said, “Man, you haven’t lived until you’ve been chased by a really mad bear.”)
The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful....
There’s a well-known two-step procedure. Step 1: take a cattle prod to the moose’s genitals. If he doesn’t stir, he’s dead. If he does, proceed to step 2: how to tell your proctologist where the cattle prod ended up.
“An undead moose once bit my sister.”
In the light of the full moon, does she develop more chest and leg hair than the average Parisian chick?
That’s not a moose its....oh, my God....Code 92, Code 92! Condition RED! Condition RED! FLOTUS Down! FLOTUS Down!
Definitely less but that rack is wicked!
“Definitely less but that rack is wicked! “
OMG! A weremoose.
What’s it coming to when you can’t trust a dead moose to report things accurately ...
Mynd you, un dead møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...
“The only thing that would have made if funnier would be hitting the wrong target on the first shot. How do you explain “bear tranquilizer” if you have to take an on the job blood test the next day.”
I actually wrote this into a prize winning story. I PDF’d it but I can’t figure out how to send it to you. But I did use your idea. (I mentioned my buddy’s real name in the story, too. He loved it.)