Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Can a Woman Ever Really Change a Man?
The Telegraph ^ | 05 Jul 2013 | Rebecca Holman

Posted on 07/05/2013 10:45:56 AM PDT by nickcarraway

It's that age-old dilemma: you've started dating a man, things are going pretty well - but you want to change some aspects of his style and personality. Is it ever possible or the right thing to do?

What are your relationship deal breakers? The news that your perfect man doesn’t ever want to get married or have children? The fact that he has a monster coke habit and gets a bit mean and aggressive when he’s drunk?

Or maybe you sweat the smaller stuff – after all, a terrible haircut, a bad slip-on shoe or some errant nose hair are all indicative of poor personal grooming habits and bad taste, and you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with someone who fundamentally has horrible taste, do you?

FYI, I fall into the latter category – I’ve been known to chuck men for wearing bad traveller’s beads, Speedo-style underpants rather than boxer shorts, and those bloody red trousers. Some things you just can’t un-see.

But according to some of my friends, I’m a fool, rejecting perfectly good men just because they think it’s acceptable to wear beads with a suit. After all, they argue, these are the sort of little things you can change over time. You can slowly introduce a skincare routine. After the 12-month mark you can start to develop an opinion on their hair cut, and after a few years you can take over buying their clothes completely.

(Excerpt) Read more at telegraph.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: metrosexualagenda
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-55 next last

1 posted on 07/05/2013 10:45:56 AM PDT by nickcarraway
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

Sure, and it’s perfectly okay for a man to ask his girlfriend to drop twenty pounds and learn to use a lawnmower. s\


2 posted on 07/05/2013 10:49:40 AM PDT by muir_redwoods (Don't fire until you see the blue of their helmets)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

Travelling beads? Am I missing out on some new men’s fashion trend?


3 posted on 07/05/2013 10:50:10 AM PDT by SamAdams76
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

Why would she want to?


4 posted on 07/05/2013 10:51:55 AM PDT by DManA
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

No, but she change into one.


5 posted on 07/05/2013 10:52:43 AM PDT by deadrock (I am someone else.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

Sure they can change a man. From a happy go lucky human to a depressed beat down shell of his former self. Happens all the time. Most women want to change a man after the courtship is over and marriage has taken place.


6 posted on 07/05/2013 10:55:31 AM PDT by Hyman Roth
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

Women would do better by raising their sons as good honest men.


7 posted on 07/05/2013 10:57:30 AM PDT by MarineBrat (Better dead than red!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

“You can slowly introduce a skincare routine. After the 12-month mark you can start to develop an opinion on their hair cut, and after a few years you can take over buying their clothes completely.”

And then at five years, she can have an affair because “you’re just not the man I fell in love with”.

Not that I’m bitter or anything.


8 posted on 07/05/2013 10:57:46 AM PDT by arbitrary.squid
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

Not for the better.

She can make the man more bitter and resentful, less expressive, more volatile.


9 posted on 07/05/2013 11:00:16 AM PDT by G Larry (Let his days be few; and let another take his office. Psalms 109:8)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway
Not sure who said it first:

"A man marries a woman, hoping she will never change. A woman marries a man knowing she can."

10 posted on 07/05/2013 11:01:06 AM PDT by Michael.SF. (0bama lied, Stevens died, now 0bama covers up the lies.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Michael.SF.

bttt


11 posted on 07/05/2013 11:03:14 AM PDT by ConservativeMan55
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway
Can a Woman Ever Really Change a Man?

Sure. Depends if he's old enough.


12 posted on 07/05/2013 11:03:16 AM PDT by Larry Lucido
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

Easy answer to the title. NO


13 posted on 07/05/2013 11:03:43 AM PDT by mrsloungitude ( USMC Mom)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

Sure.

He can lose interest because she thinks she is making a better man than the one she met.

Changed man.


14 posted on 07/05/2013 11:04:07 AM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

a man can change on his own, but for a girl to change him is asking for trouble

he may change on his own FOR a girl, but she cannot force him to


15 posted on 07/05/2013 11:09:53 AM PDT by Mr. K (There are lies, damned lies, statistics, and democrat talking points.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

In marriages where a woman is unsuccessful at converting a man into a woman, you’ll see divorce. It is no longer acceptable for a man to act as he was intended to act. In the workplace it is illegal and will get him fired!


16 posted on 07/05/2013 11:12:35 AM PDT by Obama_Is_Sabotaging_America (If Americans were as concerned for their country as Egyptians are, Obama would be ousted!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

An adult can’t “change” another adult.I think it was Jack Nicholson,in one of his films,who said to a woman that he loved...”you make me want to be a better man”...or something like that.A woman that I care for can cause me to develop the same attitude.But nothing more.


17 posted on 07/05/2013 11:12:39 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative (The Civil Servants Are No Longer Servants...Or Civil.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MarineBrat
Women would do better by raising their sons as good honest men.

HEAR HEAR!!
18 posted on 07/05/2013 11:14:22 AM PDT by RandallFlagg (IRS = Internal Revenge Service)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway
She Couldn't Change Me By Montgomery Gentry

"She Couldn't Change Me"

"Sometime I think what turned her on
Was my old broke down boots
She wanted her a real cowboy
It was a phase she was goin' through

But not one week after she moved in
I caught her paintin' the bedroom blue
She brought home a bottle of pink Chablis
And poured out my best brew

I was sittin' on the porch in my overalls
While she packed her things to leave
She changed her mind when she couldn't change me

She changed direction headed out west
Changed her tune to some hip-hop mess
Her dark brown hair went blonde
And her pretty blue eyes went green
She changed everything when she couldn't change me

She was sittin' beside the ocean
Looking out at the waves
Watching how they keep on rollin'
But always seem the same

She called and said she'd been thinkin' about
All those quiet country nights
And whatever she thought was so wrong with me
Suddenly seemed all right

I was sittin' on the porch in my overalls
When her truck pulled into view
She said I changed my mind when I couldn't change you

She changed direction headed back home
She changed her tune it's all Haggard and Jones
She had her dark brown hair pulled back
And blue eyes like you've never seen
She changed her mind when she couldn't change me

She said I guess when you love someone you just gotta let it be
Yeah, she changed her mind when she couldn't change me."

19 posted on 07/05/2013 11:14:36 AM PDT by LibWhacker
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway
I have been married to Mrs. Gamecock for 25 years and have to say I am a better human being for it.

Could she change my taste in music, clothes, food? No.

But I am more sensitive to the needs of others. She has added some grey to my back and white world.

20 posted on 07/05/2013 11:20:36 AM PDT by Gamecock ("Ultimately, Jesus died to save us from the wrath of God." ¬óR.C. Sproul)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: arbitrary.squid

you’ve met my ex wife?


21 posted on 07/05/2013 11:24:25 AM PDT by absolootezer0 (2x divorced tattooed pierced harley hatin meghan mccain luvin' REAL beer drinkin' smoker ..what?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

I was married and tamed once, which ended coming up on two decades ago.

I’ve since gone feral, no chance in heck of ever being housebroken again.


22 posted on 07/05/2013 11:25:14 AM PDT by Rebelbase (Our parents: The Greatest Generation. Their kids and grand kids: The Stupidest.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: muir_redwoods
Sure, and it’s perfectly okay for a man to ask his girlfriend to drop twenty pounds and learn to use a lawnmower. s\

This is exactly what happened to me this spring.

Wife lost 20 pounds.

I threw my back out and she has to mow the yard.

23 posted on 07/05/2013 11:32:18 AM PDT by american_ranger
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Hyman Roth
"Sure they can change a man. From a happy go lucky human to a depressed beat down shell of his former self. Happens all the time. Most women want to change a man after the courtship is over and marriage has taken place."

That was the case with my husband's brother. His EX-wife used to run him down in the presence of his own family. I will never treat my husband that way; he's my blessing. And I should say he treats me like a queen in return.

Maybe these people should try actually getting to know the other person, and WELL, before marrying.

24 posted on 07/05/2013 11:39:00 AM PDT by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males----the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization).)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway; a fool in paradise; Slings and Arrows
I can change myself, thank you very much!


25 posted on 07/05/2013 11:40:48 AM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

FReepers!

FR is funded solely by the freedom loving folks
who love and use it.

WE are Free Republic!!! All of us!!!
Please Contribute Today!

26 posted on 07/05/2013 11:43:51 AM PDT by RedMDer (When immigrants cannot or will not assimilate, its really just an invasion. Throw them out!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

Honestly, I took over buying my husband’s clothing and putting work outfits together for him as soon as we were married.

He’s color blind and it makes his life easier to just grab an outfit that someone who can see colors has paired up for him.

(I seem to remember reading somewhere that Ronald Reagan was colorblind and that Nancy had to select his clothes for him too)

I also try to get him to eat more vegetables so he’ll be healthy and we can be together longer.


27 posted on 07/05/2013 11:43:59 AM PDT by KosmicKitty (WARNING: Hormonally crazed woman ahead!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway
you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with someone who fundamentally has horrible taste, do you?

Then hit the road and do both of you a favor. Because there are two possibilities:

1. Things like "horrible taste" are important barriers to a solid relationship with this guy, which means you were a fool to ever enter into a serious relationship with him in the first place;

2. You care enough about him that his lack of "taste" is surmountable. You might even be humble enough to admit that it might be YOUR taste that is in question.

But to stick around with the mission of "improving" a man will just make both of you miserable.

28 posted on 07/05/2013 11:49:56 AM PDT by IronJack (=)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Revolting cat!

depends...


29 posted on 07/05/2013 11:52:22 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway
I hear they can change into a man.

lol

30 posted on 07/05/2013 12:02:11 PM PDT by Phlap (REDNECK@LIBARTS.EDU)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: KosmicKitty

My husband won’t spend money on clothes and he needs to look professional for work, but those clothes must be washable. I shop the sales at the better consignment stores for both of us. That way, when he wears the wonderful, originally expensive sweater to play with the dog or clean the wood stove, I don’t mind because it cost $4 on sale.

He has gone from complaining about “big honking salads” (that limit his intake of the rest of dinner)to admitting that he missed them while camping. I simply make salad 15 minutes before dinner is ready. He then eats the good stuff, doesn’t sit there chomping down nuts and still enjoys the rest of the meal. We eat a lot of stir fry or pasta salad that allows me to incorporate veggies in a tasty way. His weight is normal and he looks amazing for his age.

He is a good man and into the male things that allow us to save on all sorts of maintenance, while having a sweet side. If he wants to spend a day shooting things up or his evenings playing rock & roll or watching a shoot-’em-up or even only get a haircut every two months because he likes his hair longish...so what? It is his life, after all. I wouldn’t dream of telling him (or anyone) what sort of undies to wear.

Also, I would never go on about any of his more negative traits on a public board. When I reach perfection, then maybe, but if I were perfect, then I definitely wouldn’t dish on him in front of others.

How perfect are all those picky women?

We’ve been together for 39 years, so far.


31 posted on 07/05/2013 12:07:40 PM PDT by reformedliberal
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

notice the theme of the article is not “can a man ever change a woman”; which I believe is a theme that most people cannot imagine being voiced much

my view is that difference stems from an intrinsic difference between men and women - (a)men (generally) do not try to change their girlfriend/wife: (b)a woman wants most of all “to be understood and thinks she is not understood - over analysis, over-extending need for discussion; (c)while a man wants most of all just to be accepted, as he is, period.

why would a woman be trying to change her man anyway?

maybe she neither understands him (he does not communicate in the way women do - action; his, yours, everyones is his way of communicating and understanding what others are communicating; not long analytical discussions - nor does she accept him just as he is

if she is not like that, she is not only loved by her boyfriend/husband she is totally appreciated and cherished by him


32 posted on 07/05/2013 12:08:01 PM PDT by Wuli (qu)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

Single men look at women as a finished product.
Single women look at men as raw material.


33 posted on 07/05/2013 12:08:51 PM PDT by Roccus
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

Ask Lorena Bobbitt


34 posted on 07/05/2013 12:08:59 PM PDT by listenhillary (Courts, law enforcement, roads and national defense should be the extent of government)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Rebelbase

“... I’ve since gone feral, no chance in heck of ever being housebroken again”.

LOL!!! So now that you are single... you pee all over your house?! (just teasing ‘ya)


35 posted on 07/05/2013 12:20:20 PM PDT by momtothree
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

Women have the ability to profoundly influence their husbands for their good or to their detriment. Men really need to be careful who they marry.


36 posted on 07/05/2013 12:25:00 PM PDT by ThisLittleLightofMine
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway
"Can a Woman Ever Really Change a Man?"

Yes. See: John and Lorena Bobbitt

37 posted on 07/05/2013 12:28:58 PM PDT by Mad Dawgg (If you're going to deny my 1st Amendment rights then I must proceed to the 2nd one...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

I will say that my wife changed me! I now get guilt-free, frequent sex.


38 posted on 07/05/2013 12:32:20 PM PDT by struggle
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

All a girl has to do to change a boy after they marry is to have that first child, then everything changes and if they truly care for one another they become women and men


39 posted on 07/05/2013 12:33:43 PM PDT by fella ("As it was before Noah, so shall it be again,")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: G Larry
Not for the better. She can make the man more bitter and resentful, less expressive, more volatile.

Second that.

40 posted on 07/05/2013 12:33:56 PM PDT by elkfersupper ( Member of the Original Defiant Class)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway
This topic belongs under the Friday Silliness Thread.

:P

41 posted on 07/05/2013 12:35:02 PM PDT by ZinGirl (kids in college....can't afford a tagline right now)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

‘’You can change any man with gentle nagging.’’— Marge Simpson.


42 posted on 07/05/2013 12:35:53 PM PDT by jmacusa (Political correctness is cultural Marxism. I'm not a Marxist.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ThisLittleLightofMine

I’ve seen a lot of women throw away some decent men and another lady pick him up and make a decent marriage with the guy. There are ways to treat people that make them want to do the right thing and act the right way. Some things a woman can’t change are the man’s work habits and fishing and hunting desires. These are just too sacred and should be left alone.


43 posted on 07/05/2013 12:38:02 PM PDT by Cowgirl
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 36 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

Before one decides that one’s significant other has horrible taste remember their taste includes liking you, so maybe their taste isn’t so bad after all and you should learn to like it.


44 posted on 07/05/2013 12:43:35 PM PDT by discostu (Go do the voodoo that you do so well.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Cowgirl
These are just too sacred...

I like that.

45 posted on 07/05/2013 12:48:21 PM PDT by Jagdgewehr (It will take blood.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 43 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

Hell no! Washing a few skid marks in the laundry is a small price to pay for a smart, compassionate man, good in bed and loves you!
Heck, I even mow the lawn and do the grilling!
Wait a minute...
:)


46 posted on 07/05/2013 12:50:18 PM PDT by poobear (Socialism in the minds of the elites, is a con-game for the serfs, nothing more.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: CatherineofAragon

That happened to me. I am newly separated. She morphed into that after we got married especially after kids. I hung in there for the children as long as I could. I said enough and I walked out.


47 posted on 07/05/2013 1:08:45 PM PDT by Hyman Roth
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

No. But many die trying....err try until some one dies.....ummmm something like that.


48 posted on 07/05/2013 1:12:51 PM PDT by S.O.S121.500 (Any law repugnant to the Constitutuon is null and void.....ENFORCE THE BILL OF RIGHTS! It's the Law.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway
but you want to change some aspects of his style and personality. Is it ever possible or the right thing to do?

You can't change his basic temperament, but every temperament has both strengths and flaws, and one can try to improve one's flaws.

49 posted on 07/05/2013 1:22:02 PM PDT by mjp ((pro-{God, reality, reason, egoism, individualism, natural rights, limited government, capitalism}))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

“As a woman, I’m outraged on Sophie’s behalf that her boyfriend felt the need to change her like that – but if one of my female friends was trying to get her boyfriend to cut down on how much he drank, lose a bit of weight or sort out his finances, I’d be much less concerned – why is this?”

Because you’re double minded...


50 posted on 07/05/2013 1:45:16 PM PDT by NullPointerException
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-55 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson