Can a Woman Ever Really Change a Man?

The Telegraph ^ | 05 Jul 2013 | Rebecca Holman

[nickcarraway]

It's that age-old dilemma: you've started dating a man, things are going pretty well - but you want to change some aspects of his style and personality. Is it ever possible or the right thing to do?

What are your relationship deal breakers? The news that your perfect man doesn’t ever want to get married or have children? The fact that he has a monster coke habit and gets a bit mean and aggressive when he’s drunk?

Or maybe you sweat the smaller stuff – after all, a terrible haircut, a bad slip-on shoe or some errant nose hair are all indicative of poor personal grooming habits and bad taste, and you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with someone who fundamentally has horrible taste, do you?

FYI, I fall into the latter category – I’ve been known to chuck men for wearing bad traveller’s beads, Speedo-style underpants rather than boxer shorts, and those bloody red trousers. Some things you just can’t un-see.

But according to some of my friends, I’m a fool, rejecting perfectly good men just because they think it’s acceptable to wear beads with a suit. After all, they argue, these are the sort of little things you can change over time. You can slowly introduce a skincare routine. After the 12-month mark you can start to develop an opinion on their hair cut, and after a few years you can take over buying their clothes completely.

[ZinGirl]

This topic belongs under the Friday Silliness Thread.

:P

[jmacusa]

‘’You can change any man with gentle nagging.’’— Marge Simpson.

[Cowgirl]

I’ve seen a lot of women throw away some decent men and another lady pick him up and make a decent marriage with the guy. There are ways to treat people that make them want to do the right thing and act the right way. Some things a woman can’t change are the man’s work habits and fishing and hunting desires. These are just too sacred and should be left alone.

[discostu]

Before one decides that one’s significant other has horrible taste remember their taste includes liking you, so maybe their taste isn’t so bad after all and you should learn to like it.

[Jagdgewehr]

These are just too sacred...

I like that.

[poobear]

Hell no! Washing a few skid marks in the laundry is a small price to pay for a smart, compassionate man, good in bed and loves you!
Heck, I even mow the lawn and do the grilling!
Wait a minute...
:)

[Hyman Roth]

That happened to me. I am newly separated. She morphed into that after we got married especially after kids. I hung in there for the children as long as I could. I said enough and I walked out.

[S.O.S121.500]

No. But many die trying....err try until some one dies.....ummmm something like that.

[mjp]

but you want to change some aspects of his style and personality. Is it ever possible or the right thing to do?

You can't change his basic temperament, but every temperament has both strengths and flaws, and one can try to improve one's flaws.

[NullPointerException]

“As a woman, I’m outraged on Sophie’s behalf that her boyfriend felt the need to change her like that – but if one of my female friends was trying to get her boyfriend to cut down on how much he drank, lose a bit of weight or sort out his finances, I’d be much less concerned – why is this?”

Because you’re double minded...

[fr_freak]

All a girl has to do to change a boy after they marry is to have that first child, then everything changes and if they truly care for one another they become women and men

Those were the old days. It's a brave new world now.

[varyouga]

I did the following google searches and got these results. It seems like women are more guilty:

“how to change a man” - 337,000 results
“how to change a woman” - 58,800 results

“how to control a man” - 207,000 results
“how to control a woman” - 100,000 results

“train my boyfriend” - 15,900,000 results
“train my girlfriend” - 1,090,000 results

“improve my boyfriend” - 104,000,000 results
“improve my girlfriend” - 76,500 results

“how do I change my boyfriend” - 12,200,000 results
“how do I change my girlfriend” – 6 results

[OldPossum]

All a girl has to do to change a boy after they marry is to have that first child, then everything changes and if they truly care for one another they become women and men.

Amazing, I never knew that. All this time, in our 42-year-marriage, Mrs. OldPossum and I have been a girl and boy.

The facts--or should I say, "assertions"--you learn reading FR are just astounding.

[MosesKnows]

Can a Woman Ever Really Change a Man?

Do the young men know nothing? I trust they will find this of some future value.

FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS:
A successful man makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man, expecting he will change, but he doesn't change.
A man marries a woman, expecting she will not change, but she does change.

MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people in the same house remembering the same thing.

[CatherineofAragon]

Very sad.

I know there are plenty of men out there who could be criticized, too, but it just seems to me that women nowadays are very strident, self-centered, and my-way-or-the-highway. People like that need to stay single.