Angry Mother of Twins Throws Flaming Diapers at Late Night Firework Shooters

RockCitytimes ^ | July 5, 2013 | Greg

[metmom]

Police were called to a Hillcrest neighborhood early this morning when neighbors reported that a local mom of twins began throwing flaming dirty diapers at a group of people setting off fireworks.

The woman, Ernie Orsborn, became angry over fireworks going off in her neighborhood while her two young children were trying to sleep. Records show repeated calls to 311 reporting the firework violators between 8:30p.m. and 1 a.m.

Around 9:00 Orsborn posted to her twitter account: “I mean, if you like fireworks, go to Pops on the River and let us abstained sip our wine in peace as babies sleep.”

Witnesses tell us that sometime around 1:30 a.m. she decided to take measures into her own hands.

“I heard her yell, you want to see fireworks, here you go assholes,” a neighbor tells us. “Suddenly I see her holding a diaper bin and a lighter. She started pulling them out one by one and lobbing them over the fence at a group of drunk men shooting bottle rockets at each other. I sort of wanted to go help her throw them.”

None of the individuals shooting the fireworks sustained any injuries, although several did have large amounts of child fecal matter on their faces. Police say that the men promptly put away the fireworks and apologized to the angry mother. None of the men are pressing charges according to police.

As of this morning several bottles of wine, fresh fruit, and pastries have been set outside Orsborn’s house. Neighbors additionally tell us the men in question have spent much of the morning quietly washing Orsborn’s car, weeding her flowers beds, and pruning her rose bushes while their wives and girlfriends watch from across the street.

[metmom]

:)

[Hardraade]

Shoulda bought a squirrel...

[pallis]

Good one!

[rockrr]

That didn’t conclude like I figured it was gonna... ;-)

[MamaB]

I must be odd because I have always loved the sounds. When my girls were babies and young, they slept through everything. Then they got old enough to enjoy them too. I turned the tv really low the other night so I could hear them.

[Slings and Arrows]

With Thin Mints, no arson threats are necessary.

[Carriage Hill]

“Ever been hit with a flaming dirty diaper?”

No, but I’m gonna add that to my “Bucket List of Things I Want Before I Die”. LOL.

[Molon Labbie]

Tell me about it. It’s supposed to be the Fourth of July, but it always turns into ten days of hoozh fest...

[freekitty]

Love this story.

[VRW Conspirator]

LOL

[EnigmaticAnomaly]

Yeah, we Hoosiers like our freedoms I tell ya'! Unlike those marxist paradises that outlaw fireworks for the people's own good.

That being said, I can understand frustration if it is occurring for weeks before and after the 4th, but 2-3 days before and after the 4th, one just needs to realize that people are gonna' set off fireworks. Plan around that fact if it bothers you so much. Leave town and go to one of the marxist paradises in our country where Big Brother/Sister "protect" you from these oh-so-dangerous devices...

[A Formerly Proud Canadian]

Don't think you would want to live in Calgary during the ten days of the Calgary Stampede! Being so far north, sundown is after 10:00PM and each day the Stampede grandstand show ends with 20 minutes of fireworks.

I have 2 dogs, one of whom tries to 'protect' me from the fireworks! I could sleep through the fireworks, but not her 'scaring away' the fireworks with her barking!

Very little work gets done during the ten days and every park and vacant lot downtown sprouts a tent for 'Stampede breatfasts' in the AM and beer tents in the afternoon and evening. Some offices even 'fine' their employees who do not wear western clothing (jeans (Wranglers, definitely NOT Levi's), cowboy boots, cowboy hats, belt buckles large enough to feed a family of five, etc) during Stampede; the money going to charity.

All politicians of every stripe get involved in these breakfasts, including our Prime Minister (pictured below). Many churches also hold 'Stampede breakfasts' for their local communities. I even heard a radio advert for an East Indian restaurant recommending people to have their Stampede parties there. Don't know how they would cotton to a request for BBQ beef, however!

[cardinal4]

Not at 0130 when I have to get up at 0500. But even that’s not as bad as your burning fireworks landing on my roof, in my yard, and on my car..

[Arrowhead1952]

...and lobbing them over the fence at a group of drunk men shooting bottle rockets at each other.

Another new twist to your 4th of July "Hold muh beer and watch this" games.

[Eaker]

Humblegunner doesn’t wear diapers, he just walks funny.

However, the mental image requires plenty of brain bleach!

[metmom]

I like your tagline.

[Hetty_Fauxvert]

Six years ago I was a mom with newborn twins. It’s TWICE the hormonal load and twice the everything! They’re lucky she only threw flaming poopy diapers at them!!! (And good for the drunks for apologizing instead of turning it into a legal matter.)

[Hetty_Fauxvert]

This is satire?? I’m in a moms of multiples organization so I know a lot of twin-moms ... and I totally thought it was real! LOL!

[Arrowhead1952]

I like your tagline.

Thanks. Been using it since I heard a local radio host in Austin use it on their show. BTW, one of them is a FReeper.

[metmom]

I think it got everyone.

I could totally see it happening.