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Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Wanted to Give the World a Better Vacuum Cleaner
New York Magazine ^ | July 11th, | Margaret Hartmann

Posted on 07/11/2013 12:39:07 PM PDT by nickcarraway

Most stories on Khalid Sheikh Mohammed have focused on how he allegedly orchestrated 9/11 and a variety or other terrorist attacks, the uproar over where he might be tried, and claims that he was waterboarded more than 180 times. Now, in a stunning exclusive, the Associated Press lets us peek into the private life of Guantánamo Bay's most famous resident. Apparently, while confined in a secret CIA prison in Romania about a decade ago, Mohammed, who has a bachelor's in mechanical engineering, was allowed to pursue his dream of redesigning the vacuum cleaner, like an evil James Dyson.

After years of undergoing the worst of the CIA's "enhanced interrogation" techniques, the agency had no plan for Mohammed, but decided it was best to keep him sane. Thus, they started trying to find ways to keep him entertained. Per the AP:

The prison had a debriefing room, where Mohammed, who saw himself as something of a professor, held "office hours," as he told CIA officers. While chained to the floor, Mohammed would lecture the CIA officers on his path to jihad, his childhood and family. Tea and cookies were served.

Along with the other five detainees at the prison in Bucharest, Mohammed was given assignments about his knowledge of al-Qaida, or "homework," as CIA officers called it. He was given Snickers candy bars as rewards for his studiousness.

The prison's recreation program also including giving the detainees reading material, and former officials say he was a fan of the Harry Potter series

It's possible that KSM wasn't swept away by J.K. Rowling's tale of wizardry and the importance of friendship. CIA officers checked every page of the prisoners' books once they finished with them, and once they found a message from Mohammed warning fellow detainees not to talk about Osama bin Laden's courier. It's possible that his rebooted vaccum was some kind of ruse as well, but the CIA won't share his vacuum blueprints, or even confirm that they exist.

Mohammed's military lawyer, Jason Wright, said he's "exceptionally intelligent" and lamented that he isn't being given the tools to develop his mind. "If he had access to educational programs in Guantanamo Bay, such as distance learning programs, I am confident that in addition to furthering his Islamic studies, he could obtain a Ph.D. in mechanical engineering, and very likely patent inventions," Wright said. Or he might just plot more atrocities — it's hard to say.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Hobbies; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS:
Could this guy be the Wernher Von Braun of vacuums?
1 posted on 07/11/2013 12:39:07 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

OK. I have honor to be the first to say “He sucks!”


2 posted on 07/11/2013 12:40:54 PM PDT by Makana (Patience is minor despair dressed up as a virtue.)
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To: nickcarraway

I am amazed someone from the sandpeople knew what a vacuum was. I suppose you can know of it but never actually use one.


3 posted on 07/11/2013 12:41:44 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: nickcarraway

He needs to concentrate on developing a better way to shave back hair.

4 posted on 07/11/2013 12:43:51 PM PDT by The Sons of Liberty (Endowed by my Creator with certain unalienable rights!)
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To: nickcarraway

Well he helped us get Obama and if anything sucks more than Obama I’m not aware of it.

Mission accomplished turd head.


5 posted on 07/11/2013 12:44:07 PM PDT by IMR 4350
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To: nickcarraway
"he isn't being given the tools to develop his mind"

A frontal lobotomy would suit him better. Now try to plan anything.
6 posted on 07/11/2013 12:47:30 PM PDT by Telepathic Intruder (The only thing the Left has learned from the failures of socialism is not to call it that)
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To: nickcarraway

“Wernher von Braun”
—Tom Lehrer

And what is it that put America in the forefront of the nuclear nations? And what is it that will make it possible to spend 20 billion dollars of your money to put some clown on the moon? Well, it was good old American know-how, that’s what. As provided by good old Americans like Dr. Wernher von Braun.

Gather round while I sing you of Wernher von Braun,
A man whose allegiance
Is ruled by expedience.
Call him a Nazi, he won’t even frown.
“Ha, Nazi Schmazi,” says Wernher von Braun.

Don’t say that he’s hypocritical,
Say rather that he’s apolitical.

“Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down?
That’s not my department,” says Wernher von Braun.

Some have harsh words for this man of renown,
But some think our attitude
Should be one of gratitude,
Like the widows and cripples in old London town
Who owe their large pensions to Wernher von Braun.

You too may be a big hero,
Once you’ve learned to count backwards to zero.
“In German oder English I know how to count down,
Und I’m learning Chinese,” says Wernher von Braun.


7 posted on 07/11/2013 12:48:04 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: nickcarraway
He was given Snickers candy bars as rewards for his studiousness.

Oh, the TV commercial they will make from that. George Clooney babbling incoherently while chained to a prison floor. The guard hands him a Snickers. "Dude, have a Snickers. You get a little pretentious when you get hungry." He takes a bite and turns back into KSM. "Better?" "BETTER!"


8 posted on 07/11/2013 12:53:53 PM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: nickcarraway

So...the Rosie O’Donnel stand-in and body-double offers just weren’t coming in?


9 posted on 07/11/2013 12:54:58 PM PDT by SMARTY ("The test of every religious, political, or educational system is the man that it forms." H. Amiel)
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To: Makana
the CIA won't share his vacuum blueprints, or even confirm that they exist.

Ed Snowden has them and has sold them to Bissell


10 posted on 07/11/2013 12:56:02 PM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: The Sons of Liberty
he could obtain a Ph.D. in mechanical engineering, and very likely patent inventions,"

The ALL NEW Pocket Jihadi Little Beheader from RONCO. It slices, dices, juliennes, and makes MOUNTAINS of cole slaw!


11 posted on 07/11/2013 12:58:36 PM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: nickcarraway
I am confident that in addition to furthering his Islamic studies, he could obtain a Ph.D. in mechanical engineering, and very likely patent inventions," Wright said. Or he might just plot more atrocities — it's hard to say.

LOL!

That last line made the article.

12 posted on 07/11/2013 12:59:18 PM PDT by SIDENET
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To: nickcarraway

Nature abhors a vacuum.


13 posted on 07/11/2013 1:00:10 PM PDT by Alex Murphy ("...Someone handed the keys to the Forum to the OPC and its sympathizers...")
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To: nickcarraway

“I have a dream.” Mohammed the human dirtbag


14 posted on 07/11/2013 1:00:55 PM PDT by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: All armed conservatives.)
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To: nickcarraway

I guess he was just trying to invent the world’s first Islamic vacuum: it only works on prayer rugs.


15 posted on 07/11/2013 1:02:44 PM PDT by andy58-in-nh (Cogito, ergo armatum sum.)
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To: Buckeye McFrog
The ALL NEW Pocket Jihadi Little Beheader from RONCO. It slices, dices, juliennes, and makes MOUNTAINS of cole slaw!


16 posted on 07/11/2013 1:09:59 PM PDT by The Sons of Liberty (Endowed by my Creator with certain unalienable rights!)
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To: andy58-in-nh
I guess he was just trying to invent the world’s first Islamic vacuum: it only works on prayer rugs.

I read your post and realized...He's making a Hoovercraft that looks like a flying carpet. Genius!

17 posted on 07/11/2013 1:13:09 PM PDT by Dixie Yooper (Ephesians 6:11)
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To: nickcarraway
I think somebody mis-translated what he was saying.

He was saying Obama SUCKS.

18 posted on 07/11/2013 1:37:29 PM PDT by red-dawg
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To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Berosus; bigheadfred; Bockscar; ColdOne; Convert from ECUSA; ...

Thanks nickcarraway.
Mohammed's military lawyer, Jason Wright, said he's "exceptionally intelligent" and lamented that he isn't being given the tools to develop his mind. "If he had access to educational programs in Guantanamo Bay, such as distance learning programs, I am confident that in addition to furthering his Islamic studies, he could obtain a Ph.D. in mechanical engineering, and very likely patent inventions," Wright said. Or he might just plot more atrocities — it's hard to say.
I believe it's only right that he be given an honorable burial at sea, like his mentor Osama bin Bombin.

We just shouldn't shoot him first.


19 posted on 07/11/2013 4:40:29 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (McCain or Romney would have been worse, if you're a dumb ass.)
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To: nickcarraway

Wow....just think of all the wonderful inventions will never see built....to improve our lives..../ S

Who knew he was the Thomas Edison of the bearded sand savages....


20 posted on 07/11/2013 4:54:41 PM PDT by JZoback
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