Dads Not Fans of ‘Hookup Culture’

Remember, over 10 years ago they had an article in some woman's magazine about the father who drove his daughter to a hookup and paid for the hotel?

"drove his daughter to a hookup and paid for the hotel"

Sounds quite prudent. Didn't want his daughter to be hooking up in a sleazy one-night motel.

There might be some dangerous characters around up to no good.

/sarc

"...about the father who drove his daughter to a hookup and paid for the hotel?"

"Father?" they misspelled "pimp."

What was Rush’s name for this? “Trickle-Down Immorality”.

4 out of 5 of “dad’s” responses advocate the daughter using physical violence. then he ends with saying he’d buy a gun and find the guy, insinuating he’d shoot the guy.

Not very smart of dad to advocate physical violence. His first idea, walking away, is the best one and he should have stopped right there.

Better yet teach your daughters not to be making out with every guy they date. If you are tonguing the guy on the first second, third, fourth date etc... you have already told him you are ready.

Our children practice courting not dating.

APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_______________________________________ ALIASES ______________
DATE OF BIRTH_____________ HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________
IQ__________ GPA______________ SOCIAL SECURITY#________________
DRIVERS LICENSE #________________ IQ _________ BLOOD TYPE _____
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
#of years they have been married ______
If less than your age, explain why ______________________________________
If not explain why ___________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? __Yes __No

(IF YOU ANSWERED ‘YES’ TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I HIGHLY SUGGEST RUNNING AS I AM A DAMNED GOOD SHOT.)

ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does ‘LATE’ mean to you ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does ‘DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER’ mean to you? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does ‘ABSTINENCE’ mean to you? ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend _______________________________________________
How often you attend ____________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? __________ mother? _________ pastor? __________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.
A. If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be: ______________________________________________________________
B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: ______________________________________________________________
C. A woman’s place is in the: ______________________________________
D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: ______________________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up?__________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is: ______________________________________________________________
G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? ______________________

RULES:
Initial each Rule after reading.

Rule One: If you talk with foul words and dress like a bad ass, a punk or a wanna-be-gangster I will toss you right out on your tush.

Rule Two: If you date my daughter you date only her. She has a kind heart and I will not have you make my her cry; if she does, I will make you cry. You may only date ONE of my daughters. EVER.

Rule Three: You must know how to cook as well as I have taught my daughter(s) to cook. Frozen dinners do not count.

Rule Four: Do not be hurt when my daughter chooses a day at the spa with me over sports or gaming time with you. She was raised that family comes first and until there is a ring on her finger, I am her family, not you.

Rule Five: Do not date my daughter for her money because I am her bank. Do not expect gifts, she has been taught to be a savvy shopper.

Rule Six: Don’t sleep with my daughter; the only rubber you should be concerned about is out in the driveway and has Goodyear stamped on it.

Rule Seven: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pudgy, baggy-eyed, last-season, has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the queen of her universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth. If you do not I will ask her. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Eight: My daughter has been raised to respect herself, so keep your hands to yourself. Offending body parts will be removed by me with a dull spoon.

Rule Nine: Do not be hurt when my daughter chooses spending time with me over spending time with you. She was raised that family comes first and until there is a ring on her finger, I am her family, not you. Yes, I know this is also Rule Four. It is an important one.

Rule Ten: My daughter is not a toy. She does not have Hasbro, Mattel or any other toy company tattooed on her person. Hence, she is not an object for you to play with, manipulate, and discard at your leisure. I suffered through 42 hours of labor to have her, and will unleash an unimaginable amount of anger such that the movie 300 will look like an episode of the Little House on the Prairie should you cross me.

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROC UTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

_________________________________________________________
Applicant’s Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

_______________________________________________________________
Mother’s Signature & Father’s Signature

_______________________________________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

Please allow four to six years for processing.

Old saying: if you have a son, you only have to worry about one d***. If you have a daughter, you have to worry about every d*** in town.

Michael Savage, not Limbaugh.

Most Dads don’t want their daughters to grow up to be a Sandra Fluke. Even the liberal ones (though they won’t admit it).

I’d like to think you are right, but I have seen more evidence to the contrary than I’d like.