Skip to comments.Need Suggestions for 100th Birthday Party (vanity)
Posted on 07/22/2013 11:13:30 AM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
I need help from fellow FReepers. My mother is living in assisted living 2500 miles from me. She will turn 100 in August, and I need ideas on how to help her celebrate.
She is mentally sharp, but she is declining physically. She is confined to a wheel chair, or a walker, now and her hearing is quite impaired. Consequently, she does not like more than one, or two people in the room with her at the same time; and she just gets furious if people talk to each other in her presence.I think the sounds get all jumbled and she can't make sense of them.
I have tickets to travel to be with her for her birthday. What kind of party and what kind of recognitions should I plan? I don't think that any of her 4 grandchildren, or 12 great grandchildren, can travel to be with her for the occasion. They live even farther away than I do and have been beset with all of the problems young adults have -- college, unemployment, etc. They are all working again, but I'm sure that they have no vacation hours due. I'm asking them to send nice pictures and cards.
She does have nieces and nephews who live in her vicinity who probably could make it to a party, although I know she wouldn't want anything large. She also has a few friends.
Does anybody here in FReeperland have any experience in planning a party for an elderly person? If I ask her, she'll say that she doesn't want anything, yet I know that she'll be insulted if I don't plan something.
Thanks in advance for any ideas you can share.
Don’t make her blow out the candles.
Maybe ask for a card shower? Put ad in the Celebrations/Society pages a couple weeks ahead of the date (in the location where she lives and anywhere she might have lived for some length of time) and ask people to send birthday cards to her at an address you provide.
I think you could write the White House and President Obama will send her a card with his own signature on it
That way she can keep her conversations direct and personal, but a big fuss can be made by everyone at the appropriate time.
Maybe send Laz to do it
I was going to say you could hire 70 year old Geraldo Rivera as a stripper but I decided that would be too crude, so I won’t mention it here.
That’s a great idea. I can’t do it in the local paper, however, because she reads it cover to cover on a daily basis. But, I could place an announcement about her party with a picture to run AFTER her birthday.
I’ve gotten a series of ‘old-timey’ pictures that are going around. Would she enjoy seeing pictures of how things were in her youth? Maybe music from that era?
If I happen to make it to 100, I’ll be happy with lots and lots of chocolate. But that’s good every year!
LOL, that’s what I was going to say. That’s twice today on FR I was too late. I was thinking about the movie Talladega Nights and the bar scene.
Photo Album. Photo album record of the day.
This might be controversial but you can request the President send a birthday card. My friend who turned 100 had a complaint about the day. It was way too busy, too much stimuli for one day. They had a carry in dinner at her complex, then all her family came, many people brought her food, more than could be eaten. So I would say avoid over planning.
But the photo albums she went through every day.
That’s a great idea. I like the side room aspect. It’s impossible to keep people from talking to each other, especially when they haven’t seen each other for a long time.
The day before, send a pedicurist over. That’s always a treat.
I bet she does not read FaceBook. Have some of the children and grandchildren put something on their FB pages? Maybe one of the people could receive the cards at a PO box of business address?
Keep it simple. Before hand, make up two photo albums....one going as far back as you have pictures and another with a picture of each person who will be there, with a personal note from each and something about them. If you can, write a short biography, with events from her life and world events, cutltural things, and inventions at each point.
Well, Obama is not shy about asking her for money. I get her mail, and I just toss his messages in the trash.
We don’t discuss politics because I think she voted for him and it makes me furious. I suppose I could write and ask. I’m probably too late. I thought you had to ask for those cards 2 months in advance, but I’ll give it a try.
I think you could write the White House and President Obama will send her a card with his own signature on it
I know a lady who turned 100 in 2012. She heard that one of her grandchildren was going to request one of those signed cards and she said “No way do I want anything from that horrible man”.
That’s good and I think works out with her schedule. He birthday is on a Thursday, and I think the beauty gal comes to her residence on Wednesdays.
You need to hire mimes for the entertainment...
Throw a party to celebrate the significant events and people at the time of her birth and each decade afterward.
That’s good. I think I have most of the pictures here.
No suggestions, but wish her a Happy Birthday! That is an achievement. Ask her to tell you about her favorite times. I guess that is a suggestion.
Both of you have great suggestions. I wonder if I could get a newspaper (or copy) that was published on the day of her birth? I’ve seen those adverise, but I can’t remember where.
Maybe you could get the newspaper to publish a nice story about her or take out a small advertisement wishing her a happy birthday.
The key is to make sure someone is in the room making conversation with her at all times, or else she might feel isolated and abandoned as opposed to being the guest of honor.
And of course, her entrance into the main room for the song and cake should have appropriate fanfare.
Can members of the family wish her Happy Birthday on a video?
You can get a Presidential card but I think you need several months lead time.
My mother lived to 102. Born 1900, passed away 2002. Part of 3 centuries.
We were able to get most of the family together for her 100th.
You can get her a 100th satin sash and a tiara. Maybe a bouquet, like “Queen for the Day.” Also, call the facility where she is, and ask for suggestions. Local newspapers sometimes will come and take a photo. Not many make it to 100, it should be a big deal.
They ought to do that for her. She taught journalism for many years, and some of her former students worked at the local paper — or perhaps still do.
wow, invite me! I’ve never met a person that was 100 years old before.
Thaat’s on my list for today — call the assisted living home. I’ve tried once, and they weren’t answering their pones yet. (2 hours time difference) It’s time to try again.
With all of our digital communication tools, you are in luck for creating the perfect birthday card for her. Get all of her children, grandchildren, etc. to send you a short clip of themselves saying something wonderful about her.
You can give them starters like:
My favorite memory of Grandma is...
Nobody can do ___ like she does.
Or they can just say something like, “I wish I could be there to tell you in person how much I love you.”
Get all of this together in one presentation along with some special still photos with great captions.
If her hearing is okay with just one person at a time, you can just play it for her and sit with her. If necessary, you could get it close captioned, I guess. (Not really too technically advanced here.)
Anyway, this would be a great birthday “card” for her to look at again and again.
You are so blessed to still have your mother at this age. It’s a shame you have to be so far from her. I really miss my dear mother, who passed away in 2007 about 6 weeks shy of her 95th.
Safe travels to you.
If there is some celebrity or famous personage she likes, don’t be afraid to solicit a congratulary message from them. You don’t reach 100 every day, you know.
You can buy cards from her birthyear. It has headlines, prices, etc. I always like to just read them no matter the year. Is her school still standing, how about stores she may have gone to when younger, etc?
Don’t forget music that she remembers. If she is a Christian old gospel or bluegrass tunes may bring joy to her heart. If she danced, what music did they play when she was dating?
Music is always a wonderful backdrop to any occasion. It brings back many memories.
Go to Google books.
Your video might include music of the decades, important events in her life, the country and world.
Do some good video editing. Not just some slide show.
Write a script that follows the decades and have pictures, music and snippets follow.
I’d give you link to one that was done exceptionally well but, I can’t find it.
That way she can keep them all on file and hear/see them again and again. This may be better than having a party with everyone there because she can listen/see the messages whenever she wants to again and again.
It will take some planning but I bet she would love it. Happy Birthday to your Mom!
A meal that has a menu of food typically served in 1913 would be interesting to do, educational (especially for younger family members), and might trigger some taste-memories of the birthday girl. Recipes of those foods are available online, especially since the 1912 Titanic “last meal” was revived last year during its centennial.
Those digital photo albums are very inexpensive and you load them with a standard SD Memory card.
Everyone does those slideshows after the love one passes.
Do one now so she can enjoy it too.
Send out invitations like you would for a party, but instead invite friends and family to send her pictures of them with her. She will be showered with cards and pictures at her facility (and as a woman I know how special it feels to get things like this at work) as well as recieve written updates in the cards. Se won’t have to talk to anybody. If she’s into getting her hair and nails done, send her for that or have somebody come in and do them for her. Finally, just a nice dinner out with the two of you would really cap things off.
We did that for my grandmother when she turned 80, with a scrapbook that included copies of old photos, the immigration paperwork for my grandmother's arrival from Ireland early in the 20th Century, her marriage certificate, her children's baby pictures, old letters, and so on.
My grandmother enjoyed that scrapbook as long as her eyesight held out, and after that, we gave her a small metal bowl that held pebbles from the beach near Dublin that she went to as a young girl. In the nursing home, confined to a wheelchair, she used to put those stones in a pocket in her sweater and handle them, joking that it was the closest she could get to the beach.
Whatever you do, no male strippers.. unless you have medical support closeby. ;-}
100 ,, wow..
Move closer to her. My Dad spent 8 years in a “home” in PA while I visited from CA with my job but th guilt remains. He was NOT able to move to a “home” near me.
The mother of a former friend of mine was in a nursing care facility. She wanted so much to have a PBR, but they wouldn’t allow it. That was so stupid.
Is there something your mom would love but the facility won’t allow her to have? Sneak it in!
Let HER talk. Ask questions. People love to answer questions.
No!!! He LOVES his mom!!!!
That’s a good idea.