Posted on 07/26/2013 5:52:24 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TGIF!!!
Woohoo Top Ten!!
This is a good one!
Frozen Crabs & the Blonde Flight Attendant
A lawyer boarded an airplane in Halifax with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator.
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.
Shortly before landing in Toronto, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, “Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in Halifax, please raise your hand?”
Not one hand went up ..... so she took them home and ate them.
Two lessons here:
1. Lawyers aren’t as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren’t as dumb as most folk think.
Top ten?
Me too
10?
Just because you can lead a mixed metaphor to water doesn’t mean you can make it take off like a rocket.
“THE BROTHEL”
The madam opened the brothel door in Salt Lake City and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
“May I help you sir?,” she asked.
The man replied, “I want to see Valerie.”
“Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else,”
said the madam.
He replied, “No, I must see Valerie.”
Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.
After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.
Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive.
“There are no discounts. The price is still $5000.”
Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.
After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there yet again.
Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie
and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie said to the man, “No one has ever been with me three nights in a row.”
“Where are you from?”
The man replied,” Idaho .”
“Really,” she said. “I have family in Idaho.”
“I know.” the man said. “Your sister died, and I am her attorney.”
“She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.”
The moral of the story is that three (3) things in life are certain:
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer!
I don't know about intelligent but I'm obviously an engineering nerd. I got every one of them.
The JET Bicycle http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKHz7wOjb9w
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