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Massachusetts Bird Deaths
Me | 07/26/13

Posted on 07/26/2013 7:00:32 AM PDT by Puppage

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu.

The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car. MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: vanity

1 posted on 07/26/2013 7:00:32 AM PDT by Puppage
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To: Puppage

Evolution will take care of this


2 posted on 07/26/2013 7:03:25 AM PDT by babble-on
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To: Puppage
They all killed themselves because they landed on Indian engineers' heads which is a very bad omen among crows.

23-yr-old engineer commits suicide. Reason: A crow sat on his head

3 posted on 07/26/2013 7:06:40 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (This message has been recorded but not approved by Obama's StasiNet. Read it at your peril.)
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To: Puppage
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck."

I get it.

4 posted on 07/26/2013 7:14:29 AM PDT by Tenacious 1 (If the government told us to expect rain, I'd schedule an outdoor wedding.)
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To: Puppage

“The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.” — Jack Handey


5 posted on 07/26/2013 7:16:05 AM PDT by ClearCase_guy (21st century. I'm not a fan.)
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To: Puppage
"They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck.""

(Pssst! Let's see how many replies we get before people finally catch on that this is a joke. Tee-hee!)

6 posted on 07/26/2013 7:22:59 AM PDT by fidelis (Zonie and USAF Cold Warrior)
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To: Puppage

HAH...funny, I was just having a conversation about how crows will kill look out crows who fail to warn the “murder” of crows of impending danger. And yes, the term is “murder” of crows.......(sorry if OP mentioned that already)


7 posted on 07/26/2013 7:23:03 AM PDT by C. Edmund Wright (Tokyo Rove is more than a name, it's a GREAT WEBSITE)
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To: Tenacious 1

I think I’ll have some Chowdah.


8 posted on 07/26/2013 7:44:58 AM PDT by glorgau
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To: KarlInOhio
They all killed themselves because they landed on Indian engineers' heads which is a very bad omen among crows.

I didn't know Tonto was an engineer. Well, he did drive a train for a bit.

9 posted on 07/26/2013 7:46:33 AM PDT by sportutegrl
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To: Puppage

Funny. I knew it had to be a joke because crows are incredibly intelligent. Where I’m at in central MA our crows are so huge we call them cravens, looks like crows, size of a raven.


10 posted on 07/26/2013 7:50:54 AM PDT by TheRhinelander
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To: Puppage

“... varying colors of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.”

Learn something new everyday.


11 posted on 07/26/2013 7:55:29 AM PDT by carriage_hill (Guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars drive drunk & spoons make you fat.)
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To: Puppage
What? SUV's not blamed?

12 posted on 07/26/2013 7:56:01 AM PDT by BitWielder1 (Corporate Profits are better than Government Waste)
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To: Puppage

“varying colors of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws”

I half expected to read that researchers found the birds had been sniffing paint...


13 posted on 07/26/2013 7:56:18 AM PDT by Texan5 ("You've got to saddle up your boys, you've got to draw a hard line"...)
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To: Puppage

Then why do these lookouts don’t learn to say “cah-cah” for truck?

Stupid liberal crows.


14 posted on 07/26/2013 8:28:48 AM PDT by 353FMG ( I do not say whether I am serious or sarcastic -- I respect FReepers too much.)
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To: carriage_hill

Are there any statistics on paint colors vs crow deaths?

Perhaps MA could come up with a scheme to ban cars with certain paint colors.

They could then move over to painting wind turbines in colors that prove the least lethal to birds.

I am awaiting my call from Stockholm to schedule my appearance at the next Nobel Prize gathering.


15 posted on 07/26/2013 8:36:53 AM PDT by 353FMG ( I do not say whether I am serious or sarcastic -- I respect FReepers too much.)
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To: Puppage

There might be another twist to this. Crows have rather unusual vision, which can be described as “inverse grayscale”. That is, for them, white is black, and black is white. So on a dark night, all they can see is solid white.

However, artificial illumination at night confuses things, by injecting black into the white. This might be a bizarre contributing factor.


16 posted on 07/26/2013 8:37:16 AM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy (Be Brave! Fear is just the opposite of Nar!)
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To: yefragetuwrabrumuy

My wife’s sister’s shaggy dog bit my moose.


17 posted on 07/26/2013 9:47:15 AM PDT by namvolunteer (Obama says the US is subservient to the UN and the Constitution does not apply. That is treason.)
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To: 353FMG

If I could vote for the Nobel Prize, you’d get mine.


18 posted on 07/26/2013 10:35:48 AM PDT by carriage_hill (Guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars drive drunk & spoons make you fat.)
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