Skip to comments.London Fire Brigade reveals rise in handcuff callouts
Posted on 07/29/2013 10:47:37 AM PDT by Pan_Yan
Firefighters in London have been called to assist people who have become stuck in objects such as handcuffs and toilet seats more than 1,300 times in the last three years.
London Fire Brigade said each instance cost taxpayers some £290, meaning the mishaps have cost at least £377,000.
Emergency callouts included incidents where men had their genitals stuck in a toaster and a vacuum cleaner.
"I don't know whether it's the Fifty Shades effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up.
"I'm sure most people will be Fifty Shades of red by the time our crews arrive to free them."
(Excerpt) Read more at bbc.co.uk ...
In a toaster?
Mind’s blank. I got nothin’.
So is it racist to ask if the toaster was set on light or dark?
Yes. Now seriously, can we discuss something else instead, like the vacuum cleaner? I can almost fathom that one at the furthest reaches of my imagination.
"Hello, hello, operator? Yes we're trying to get the fire brigade ... No, the fire brigade. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, what? ... Size eight."
If they’re only “red” stuck in a toaster, they’re on low setting.
Hardly anything to bother with. Just unplug the device.
I suppose at some level they have to calculate the response time and available units. Units tied up applying vasoline to handcuffs, are available to get cats out of trees. The operating cost per mile of fire equipment has to be astronomical, probably on the order of $10/mile, or more.
They could be over-responding to make themselves look busy. In one town where I lived, even the simplest 911 call got you police, a fire truck, and an ambulance.
See? Other people get caught handcuffed to toilet seats too. I'm not the only one. Officer.
Kind of like two episodes of one of my favorite shows, “Untold Stories of the ER.” One story was a guy who got his “member” stuck in a camp stove. The other was hilarious.....guy comes in with the 4 hour Viagra erection with his girlfriend, then his wife shows up.
"If it lasts more than 4 hours, heck, I'm callin' EVERYBODY!"
OK..maybe the pottie or toilets are a different design in jolly old England...but just how in the h*ll do you get your head stuck in the toilet?
When I was an MP at Ft. Benning back around 69 the post hospital security guard called in too hysterical to comprehend, so we sent out a patrol.
Seems this senior NCO came waddling in to the ER with a terribly pained expression on his battle scarred face and a canister vacuum cleaner between his thighs; was having too much fun and couldn’t get his manhood back.
The medics had to call in post engineers to dismantle the affectionate appliance and our guard couldn’t stop laughing for the rest of his shift.
My town has 5500 people and only a couple of full time firefighters/emts on call. We do have a stretch of Interstate through the town, the nearest hospital is about ten miles away, so the taxi rides to the hospital in a town ambulance, billed to the insurance companies, pay the freight.
I hear ya - I used to be a volunteer EMT in the middle of nowhere.
As a child I somehow got my head stuck in an angel food cake tin. My mother said she was hysterical when she saw what I had done, and frantically called her sister-in-law that lived nearby to ask her what to do.
“Well first, you go get your camera and take a photo!”
I don’t remember it, and don’t recall seeing the photo either. I think they ended up using Crisco to slide the thing off.