Posted on 08/01/2013 3:00:38 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows
Same thing with cougars (both kinds).
Or the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt’s famous bear cub!
With school out for the summer, think she was looking for some more of those snacks that she's always stealing from the children.
Bartender says, "what will you have, Mr. Bear?"
The bear replies, "vodka and cranberry."
Then the bartender asks, "how about you, Mr. President?"
An old bear at the Estes Park zoo
Could always find something to do;
..When it bored him to go
..On a walk to and fro,
He’d about face and walk fro and to.
Estes Park, full of Eastern Liberals getting away from the hell holes they created back East. The bear did not want to drink with them, so he left.
The Park Service laid me off. What are ya gonna do?
Question: How many times do you get a chance to offer a beer to a bear in a bar?
Answer: Once.
This is the kind of behavior you see when Coloradans start restricting firearms.
Soon, all the bears will be in bars seeking beers.
LOL!
Bears Break-In To Estes Park HomeThe mama grabbed my dog by the throat. I reacted by screaming and waving my arms. She exited through the small casement window which she had broken when entering. The cubs ran the opposite direction into the powder room. I quickly shut the door to the powder room, grabbed a phone, closed the dogs in my bedroom, held the entrance window shut (since it was broken), and phoned 911.
When the police/sheriff/Park personnel peeked into the bathroom, both cubs were sitting in the sink!
Stop me if you’ve heard this one.
“So this bear walks into a bar...”
But how many beers could a bar bear bear if a bar bear could bear beers?
“So a bear walks into a bar...”
"...and the second one ducked!"
I saw this on a T shirt in Yellowstone last week.
A man and a bear come face to face.
The man says “I’m a Vegetarian!”
The bear says “I’m a Humanatarian!”
Then there was the family who stopped in Cody Wy and bought bear repellant. Like bug repellant, they thought they were supposed to spray it on themselves.
All went to the hospital.
Thank you for my first lol of the day!
So this bear watches a Coors Beer truck crossing the mountains several times a week and the bear thinks to himself, “I want to try one of those Coors Beers!”
He follows the road to a bar and sees the Coors Beer truck pulling out. He walks into the bar, slides into a booth and waves to the barkeep. “I’ll try one of those Coors Beers!”
The bartender replies, “Bob’s bar doesn’t serve bears beer.”
The bear says, “What?”
“Bob’s bar doesn’t serve bears beer. It’s our motto and our policy.”
The bear, now angry says, “In that case, I’m gonna take this big paw, rip off that woman’s head and eat it.”
The bartender responds, “I’m sorry, Bob’s bar doesn’t serve bears beer.”
The bear walks up to the woman, says “Pardon me,” rips her head off and eats it. He turns to the bartender and says, “What do you say about that?”
“Bob’s bar doesn’t serve bears beer nor do we serve druggies!”
“What...what the hell are you talking about,” cried the bear.
“That was a bar-bitch-you-ate.”
I was waiting for that one...
:-)
Constitutionally-aware bears never get old.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.