Skip to comments.Most men think women should help pay for dates - but feel guilty about taking their money: study
Posted on 08/13/2013 10:33:25 AM PDT by nickcarraway
Looks like men have grown tired of footing the bill for every dinner out: Sixty-four percent of guys said they'd prefer if their partner chipped in, while close to half said they'd break up with a woman who never offered to pay.
Two out of three men think women should help pay for a date, although most feel guilty about accepting their money, a study out Saturday suggests.
Of the 64% wanting to split the bill, 44% said they'd even ditch a love interest who never doled out any dollars.
That said, 76% of men felt bad about pocketing payments from possible partners.
The findings are based on research led by psychologist David Frederick of Chapman University in California. He oversaw a team that combed through data from more than 17,000 people to see how changing gender norms have impacted on time-honored notions of courtship.
Eighty-four percent of men, and 58% of women, reported that men pay for most dating expenses, even after they've been going steady for a while.
Fifty-seven percent of women claimed they had offered to pay for a date -- although 39% confessed they hoped the man would reject their offer to chip in.
In any event, over time, the vast majority of participants, both male and female, said they shared dating expenses in the first six months of seeing someone exclusively.
Frederick, whose previous research has focused on body image, said the study was motivated by a desire "to understand why some gendered practices are more resistant to change than others."
It was presented at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association that opened in New York Saturday and runs through Tuesday.
He: "Look, I good be playing video games, I could be drinking with my buddies, I could be doing a bunch of stuff. But I'll spend time with you if you a) help pay for the date and b) put out right away."
Buying a woman a meal at McDonald’s is now considered prostitution if there is a chance at receiving sex afterwards (at least according to some recent prosecutions).
Just keeping them honorable by removing any financial interests...
Bull’seye. Glad yOu mentioned the video games.
Feminism is the sexual side of the same silliness that blames those who succeed in any field, for those who fail; the big lie, that it is society's fault that everyone does not do as well as every one else in the schools; for the achievement & income gaps, etc., ad nauseum. It is the sexual aspect of the over-all nightmare embraced by Leftist theories; demonstrated in the election of an alien raised bigot who hated America, as President of the United States in 2008. It is the sexual aspect of a world where many people are more obsessed with jealousy towards others, than actually developing their own useful talents.
No man would let his lady pay for a date - except on special rare occasions - such as his birthday. I’m sorry, but if you’re not ready, willing and able to support the woman that, presumably, you are hoping to bear and care for your children - then you are no man.
A guy struggling through college and dating a lady with a decent job? Here’s a hint guys: If she is happy to spend time with you on your budget, you have found a keeper! If she insists on always dating on her budget, watch out! She is willing to emasculate you for temporary pleasures...not a good sign.
A little story about someone I consider a true lady - my sister: Her husband-to-be was not very practiced in the art of dining out, and on their first few dates he was apt to forget to tip. My sister, being the lady that she is, did not want to embarrass him by calling attention to his lapse - so she she would say, “Let me pay the tip this time”. It didn’t take long, and he started remembering.
That is a fairly dated view of video games. The bigger problem is that we live in a society where we turn 6 year old boys into amphetamine addicts to make them easier to deal with and have shunted boys into a second class citizen category where 1.4 women graduate from college for every man. We as a society have denigrated military service, competition, and pretty much everything that makes boys “boys”. Is it any wonder that my generation finds refuge in the almost exclusively male world of Call of Duty (which by the way, is a heck of a lot of fun, played by servicemen from Alaska to Afghanistan)?
We live in a world where the words plumber, carpenter, and mechanic are almost dirty words, and where military service is in essence “something poor kids do”. I know I used to think that way, and not because of anything my parents taught me either, they put me to work at 10, and were thrilled when I joined up.
None of this is what you are focused on though. I imagine you are more outraged by sagging pants and video games. Can’t see the forest because of all those trees...
You pay for dinner & the movie everything else is on me.
Had a great conversation with my 88 yr old dad about this last night.
We agreed that at first the guy pays (pursuit) but if things go well, the gal pays if it’s her idea.
“I’d like to take you out for a steak dinner!”
Personally, I’ve always paid for my date and do so with great pleasure. I was brought up this way and will continue to do so.
I feel it’s not only proper but fair. Women spend thousands and thousands of dollars on their hair, make-up, fashion’s, jewelry, etc., all to look their best for their partner.
My hair cut is $20, hers is $100’s. I don’t wear make-up, but I sure enjoy what she wears. Same for fashions, shoes, etc. (Don’t get me started on Victoria’s Secret).
To go out on a date, costs me only a few bucks if that to prepare, but my date has already spent hundreds and more, and of course, I’m the beneficiary of this amazing looking woman on my arm.
I appreciate their efforts and those efforts should be at least rewarded by my paying for the date.
Dinner and a movie is going to run you at least 100 bucks. Movie tickets are 10 bucks each at night, so 20 dollars there. A popcorn and two sodas comes out to roughly 15 bucks. Maybe she wants Red Vines? Then we are at 40 dollars just for the movie. Next lets move on to dinner. Even at a casual dining place, say Chile’s or Applebee’s (neither of which I would ever consider taking a gal on a first date) you are looking at paying for 2-4 drinks for the two of you at 20-40 dollars, an appetizer at 10 dollars , and another 30-50 on entrees. Dinner and a movie can set you back $150 EASY. Keep in mind that if you “only” spend $150 on the date in the above scenario, there is a good chance you’ll be labelled cheap because you took her to Chile’s. And let’s not forget that there is probably a Coldstone Creamery right next door to the theater, there is another 15 bucks.
4 “cheapo” dinner and movies a month= RENT for many people.
With how much it costs to go out these days, of COURSE guys would like women to offer to pay more. How the hell else are they supposed to finance a relationship?
Your “idea” = you pay!
Thanks but you probably couldn’t afford it!!!