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Canada mounting aggressive moose sex project
Bangor Daily News ^ | 6/27/13 | John Holyoke

Posted on 08/29/2013 10:01:09 AM PDT by wbill

First, I apologize for using the words “mounting” and “moose sex” in the headline. It was a juvenile thing to do. I accept full responsibility. (And I still think it was funny).

Now that the first mea culpa of the day is out of the way, in the immortal words of Salt-N-Pepa, “Let’s talk about sex.”

Not for you and me.

For the moose.

Earlier this week I learned that up north of the border — along the boundary that separates the Canadian provinces of New Brunswick and Nova Scotia — those wily Canadians are preparing for an influx of randy moose.

At least that’s the goal of the “Moose Sex Project,” an effort of the Nature Conservancy of Canada.

Here’s the deal, according to a report from the Canadian Press and the NCC’s website: New Brunswick has plenty of moose — an estimated 29,000 of the burly critters. Nova Scotia? Not so much. In fact, the mainland moose population of Nova Scotia (all 1,000 of ‘em) is considered endangered.

That just won’t do. I’ve been to Nova Scotia. I love it there. In fact, if I were a moose, I’d surely amble in that direction, given the choice.

The “Moose Sex Project” aims to give those (hopefully amorous New Brunswick) moose just that choice.

Reports (which I may have made up) that Nova Scotians are blasting Barry White music through speakers aimed at New Brunswick have proven false. So, too, the reports (also imaginary) that if you stand in Sackville, New Brunswick and look to the east, you’re sure to see thousands of mood-enhancing candles flickering in the direction of Amherst, Nova Scotia.

Again, I apologize for not taking the “Moose Sex Project” seriously. Mea culpa … again. It’s just that … well … if you name something the “Moose Sex Project,” well, you’re likely aware that it might make certain (permanently adolescent) people chuckle.

Seriously, the idea that the NCC has come up with has some merit. The NCC has secured conservation lands in what’s called the Chignecto Isthmus Natural Area — that’s the piece of land that connects the two provinces — in order to protect moose habitat for generations to come.

That makes perfect sense; moose aren’t known to migrate long distances over concrete or through shopping malls, and if Nova Scotia has any hopes of luring the lovesick New Brunswick herd to Canada’s Ocean Playground, there’s got to be a nice, wooded route available.

Armed with the basics of the Canadian “Moose Sex Project,” I ambled over to the office of my favorite moose expert, Maine Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife biologist Lee Kantar, to ask his opinion.

Kantar hadn’t heard of the initiative, and while he’s a serious biologist, after I told him I wanted to have some fun writing about the topic, he almost, nearly, kind of laughed. Once. Of course, I may have imagined that, too.

Kantar informed me that Nova Scotia actually has two separate sub-species of moose. One — the same kind that exists in New Brunswick — is indeed quite rare. The other is not.

That second subspecies, which lives on Cape Breton, is causing a bit of a ruckus.

“They have a hyper-abundance of moose there in the highlands,” Kantar said. “They have plenty of moose there and, in fact, they’re having some damage done to the forest up in the park there.”

Not the kind of moose you’d want to invite to the mainland for a party, I guess. Proven rabble-rousers, they’d probably show up in Halifax, steal the mates of the few remaining Nova Scotian moose, and trash the forests.

Kantar explained that moose — especially male moose — are rambling animals. Come adulthood, male moose pack their figurative bags and move out, searching for their own patch of habitat.

A key to that migration is “connectivity,” or being able to move to a new area by tromping through natural areas that provide the essentials a moose needs.

“So you would think, when there’s a land connection between New Brunswick and Nova Scotia, just through happenstance and habitat and seeking out [new territory], over time [the moose would move into Nova Scotia],” Kantar said.

The problem with that theory, Kantar admits, is that the moose won’t move if they don’t have to. And when there aren’t many other moose trying to munch on your own personal browse patch, the incentive to hoof it across the isthmus is probably pretty slim.

And what will make those moose move?

If you guessed “sex,” get your mind out of the gutter. OK. I’ll admit that you might be right, but only if you’re referring to the relatively short mating season, which takes place in the fall.

If you guessed “grub!” you’re right for the other 11 months of the year.

A 1,000-pound moose is a voracious eater, Kantar explained. During the summer months, Mr. Half-Ton Moose will gobble down about 30 pounds of tender plants a day. During the winter, that total drops to about 10 pounds.

So the NCC’s habitat conservation effort is key. If moose are to meander into Nova Scotia, they’ve got to have a good rest stop where they can fuel up before … well … you know.

Kantar explained that in New Brunswick, like Maine, most of the moose live in the north, where commercial forestlands have provided a veritable buffet of yummy morsels perfect for the growing ungulate. Down south — near our favorite isthmus, and the “Moose Sex Corridor” — the population density is lower. And so is competition for the available food.

“Where there’s moose habitat now, I’m sure there’s forage available for the level of moose that they have, and there’s really no need for them [to move to Nova Scotia],” Kantar said.

That’s not to say that the designated “Moose Sex Corridor” wouldn’t have a few takers.

“You’d think once in awhile a moose would take a joyride someplace,” Kantar said, nearly smiling again.

All of which got me thinking.

A year ago, my hunting buddy and I had a moose permit in Maine’s Wildlife Management District 26. Consider that “Nova Scotia.” There just aren’t many moose there. We didn’t fill our tag.

Is there, I asked Kantar, any chance that the Maine Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife might consider creating its own “Moose Sex Corridor,” that might entice some amorous moose from a nearby district (think of it as “New Brunswick” into WMD 26?

Again, he nearly laughed. Nearly.

“I don’t think so. Not to disappoint anybody,” he said, staring into my eyes, knowing exactly who he was disappointing. “But no.”


TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister
KEYWORDS: moose; napl
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Post from one of my favorite writers. I thought that it might be a nice change from all of the gloom and doom that's been on FR of late.

That, and anything mentioning "amorous moose" is worth posting.

1 posted on 08/29/2013 10:01:09 AM PDT by wbill
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To: wbill

Do they provide a stool?


2 posted on 08/29/2013 10:02:05 AM PDT by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: wbill

A moose once hit on my sister.


3 posted on 08/29/2013 10:03:02 AM PDT by DannyTN
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To: DannyTN

I was trying to decide if I should ping in Laz.


4 posted on 08/29/2013 10:03:36 AM PDT by wbill
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To: wbill

5 posted on 08/29/2013 10:03:44 AM PDT by COBOL2Java (I'm a Christian, pro-life, pro-gun, Reaganite. The GOP hates me. Why should I vote for them?)
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To: wbill

6 posted on 08/29/2013 10:04:01 AM PDT by Red Badger (It is dangerous to be right in matters where established men are wrong. .....Voltaire)
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To: wbill; Lazamataz
"I was trying to decide if I should ping in Laz."

Lol, maybe, you just never know what Laz will hit.

7 posted on 08/29/2013 10:04:40 AM PDT by DannyTN
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To: Red Badger
"Hey Rocky! Watch me p....."

Never mind, don't need to get banned.

8 posted on 08/29/2013 10:05:00 AM PDT by wbill
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To: wbill

Moose bites can be very nasti


9 posted on 08/29/2013 10:06:08 AM PDT by Mr. K (Lies, Damned Lies, Statistics, and then Democrat Talking Points.)
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To: wbill

You would think that a prohibition against “aggressive moose sex” would be covered by some sort of law in Canada.


10 posted on 08/29/2013 10:06:21 AM PDT by Pecos (Kritarchy: government by the judges)
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To: wbill

Come on, let’s show a little creativity here. Moose singles bars. Moose discos. A Moose section in the Craigslist personals. We can do this, people!


11 posted on 08/29/2013 10:06:31 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: DannyTN
"Did you hear a Moose has sex 5 times a day?"

Dang! I just joined the Elks!
12 posted on 08/29/2013 10:07:51 AM PDT by BikerJoe
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To: wbill

Put in an oil pipeline with heaters every 100 feet to keep the oil flowing.

It worked for the Caribou.


13 posted on 08/29/2013 10:08:26 AM PDT by left that other site (You Shall Know the Truth, and the Truth Shall Set You Free...John 8:32)
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To: Billthedrill
Disco Moose-ic?

This thread wouldn't be complete without a good moose pun.

14 posted on 08/29/2013 10:08:44 AM PDT by wbill
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To: FReepers; Patriots; FRiends






BUMP for New Monthly Donor #63.

Very Generous FReeper Sponsors are donating $10 for every New Monthly Donor & $1-A-DAY DONOR!

Please Sign up with Jim right now!

15 posted on 08/29/2013 10:09:04 AM PDT by onyx (Please Support Free Republic - Donate Monthly! If you want on Sarah Palin's Ping List, Let Me know!)
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To: wbill

They ought to drop flyers throughout New Brunswick offering free sex and beer for moose in Novia Scotia. Of course that would likely create a mass exodus of male Canadians to the province too.......


16 posted on 08/29/2013 10:09:14 AM PDT by Hot Tabasco (')
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To: wbill; Slings and Arrows; Clive; exg; Alberta's Child; albertabound; AntiKev; backhoe; ...
To all- please ping me to Canadian topics.

Canada Ping!

17 posted on 08/29/2013 10:14:20 AM PDT by Squawk 8888 (I'd give up chocolate but I'm no quitter)
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To: BikerJoe

Q;Is it against the law to transport moose across state lines?
A;Yes,if for immoral purposes...


18 posted on 08/29/2013 10:18:31 AM PDT by Farmer Dean (stop worrying about what they want to do to you,start thinking about what you want to do to them)
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To: wbill
A few years ago I did the Trans Canada Hwy from Manitoba to Ontario...in November.Big sections of that road are in the middle of nowhere,with forests on both sides.A couple of times I saw huge...and I mean HUGE...moose right on the side of the road...100 feet from the asphalt itself.I'm a city slicker who's never been a hunter and I didn't know they were *nearly* that big.
19 posted on 08/29/2013 10:21:16 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative (If Obama Had A City It Would Look Like Detroit)
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To: cripplecreek

Has Hillary been chosen for one of the control groups, yet?


20 posted on 08/29/2013 10:22:24 AM PDT by DPMD
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To: wbill
"First, I apologize for using the words “mounting” and “moose sex” in the headline. It was a juvenile thing to do. I accept full responsibility."

What's to apologize for - it is, after all, the "Bangor Daily News!"


America demands Justice for the Fallen of Benghazi!

Genuflectimus non ad principem sed ad Principem Pacis!

Listen, O isles, unto me; and hearken, ye people, from far; The LORD hath called me from the womb; from the bowels of my mother hath he made mention of my name. (Isaiah 49:1 KJV)

21 posted on 08/29/2013 10:22:45 AM PDT by ConorMacNessa (HM/2 USN, 3/5 Marines RVN 1969 - St. Michael the Archangel defend us in Battle!)
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To: Squawk 8888; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...
In fact, the mainland moose population of Nova Scotia (all 1,000 of ‘em) is considered endangered.

Now we know who to blame.



22 posted on 08/29/2013 10:26:08 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: wbill

Next thing you know, they’ll have gay moose marriage.


23 posted on 08/29/2013 10:29:30 AM PDT by shego
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To: Slings and Arrows

Please don’t mount the sex crazed moose.


24 posted on 08/29/2013 10:30:22 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: wbill

There’s a moose on the loose!


25 posted on 08/29/2013 10:30:26 AM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: Revolting cat!

Bangor? Don’t even know’er.


26 posted on 08/29/2013 10:31:22 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: wbill

Offer the moose food stamps, public housing, and a moderate temperature and they will be screwing in the trees and on the road. It worked here in the Southeast for Democrats.


27 posted on 08/29/2013 10:33:43 AM PDT by vetvetdoug
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To: Slings and Arrows

Personally. Would have blamed Mr. Lahey and Randy. Those two will make me feel less amorous.


28 posted on 08/29/2013 10:37:03 AM PDT by Gefn (More Cowbell)
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To: BikerJoe

Laughing out loud!!!!!!!!!!!


29 posted on 08/29/2013 10:37:27 AM PDT by FrdmLvr
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To: Slings and Arrows

I was thinkin’ maybe more like Trevor and Cory.


30 posted on 08/29/2013 10:41:16 AM PDT by FrdmLvr
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To: Slings and Arrows

They even have their own bridge.




Help bridge the budget gap



31 posted on 08/29/2013 10:42:36 AM PDT by Lady Jag (If you can't make them see the light, let them feel the heat. - Reagan)
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To: Gefn

That’s what the Viagraburgers are for.


32 posted on 08/29/2013 11:00:52 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: a fool in paradise

How judgmental.


33 posted on 08/29/2013 11:01:20 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: wbill
The Moose Mating Call
34 posted on 08/29/2013 11:01:49 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: wbill

Aggressive moose sex? I always figured moose would be gentle and considerate lovers. Shows what I know.


35 posted on 08/29/2013 11:02:13 AM PDT by AD from SpringBay (http://jonah2eight.blogspot.com/)
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To: FrdmLvr

Smokes!


36 posted on 08/29/2013 11:02:37 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: a fool in paradise

No, NO, NO!

Bangor? Didn’t even MEAT her!


37 posted on 08/29/2013 11:03:00 AM PDT by Don W (Know what you WANT. Know what you NEED. Know the DIFFERENCE!)
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To: Mr. K

But do they brush and floss daily?


38 posted on 08/29/2013 11:03:55 AM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (I’m not a Republican, I'm a Conservative! Pubbies haven't been conservative since before T.R.)
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To: cripplecreek
Do they provide a stool?

If you shove hard enough, you're apt to get stool all over yourself...

39 posted on 08/29/2013 11:04:47 AM PDT by null and void (Frequent terrorist attacks OR endless government snooping and oppression? We can have both!)
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To: Don W

Well played.


40 posted on 08/29/2013 11:05:12 AM PDT by null and void (Frequent terrorist attacks OR endless government snooping and oppression? We can have both!)
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To: FrdmLvr

The Un (Kim Jong) is ROR, too!


41 posted on 08/29/2013 11:05:57 AM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (I’m not a Republican, I'm a Conservative! Pubbies haven't been conservative since before T.R.)
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To: cripplecreek

You have to find a stump.


42 posted on 08/29/2013 11:10:53 AM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (Tyranny is defined as that which is legal for the government but illegal for the people. T Jefferson)
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To: Lady Jag

Uhm, okay. Just a couple of minor quibbles.

First, those are Rocky Mountain ELK, in
Banff National park crossing one of 10 or so of the wildlife overpasses installed to prevent serious CARnage throughout the year.

Second, Banff is as far from Nova Scotia as San Diego is from NYC.

I just drove through there 9 days ago. There are a LOT more trees and brush on the “wildlife corridors” now. FWIW.


43 posted on 08/29/2013 11:14:54 AM PDT by Don W (Know what you WANT. Know what you NEED. Know the DIFFERENCE!)
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To: Don W

Ever hear of poetic license? Don’t be a poophead.


44 posted on 08/29/2013 11:17:02 AM PDT by Lady Jag (If you can't make them see the light, let them feel the heat. - Reagan)
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To: null and void

Coming from you, oh master of puns and double entendres, I am deeply honoured!

God bless!


45 posted on 08/29/2013 11:17:28 AM PDT by Don W (Know what you WANT. Know what you NEED. Know the DIFFERENCE!)
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To: Lady Jag

I got the license thaing, I just hate it when I try to book a room for a conference in Calgary and the clerk tells me there are cheaper rooms available in Montreal and Toronto...


46 posted on 08/29/2013 11:20:51 AM PDT by Don W (Know what you WANT. Know what you NEED. Know the DIFFERENCE!)
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To: Lady Jag

Those are elk


47 posted on 08/29/2013 11:20:55 AM PDT by shotgun
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To: shotgun

Elk, deer and moose.


48 posted on 08/29/2013 11:23:24 AM PDT by Lady Jag (If you can't make them see the light, let them feel the heat. - Reagan)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Maybe Dudley DooRight Can Fix It.

Canadian Mounties are awesome.

And girls love men in uniforms


49 posted on 08/29/2013 11:26:54 AM PDT by Gefn (More Cowbell)
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To: Slings and Arrows; Chode
bullwinkle moose photo: Bulleinkle Assassniated Bullwinkle1.jpg
50 posted on 08/29/2013 11:47:41 AM PDT by Morgana (Always a bit of truth in dark humor.)
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