Skip to comments.***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 09/20/2013 5:31:30 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Let's start out with a couple silly videos...
Smile and say Green Card
How animals eat their food
How To Make A Paper Airplane Fly Forever
Don't judge too quickly
Hooray, thanks Lucky!
Top 10! BOOM!
W00t! Top Ten!
"Here's my imitation of a Syrian gas attack!"
Almost top 10.
I've got to try that.
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctors office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn’t have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasnt going to be able to make the full effort.
So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as Im sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.
I was a little surprised when the doctor said, My, we have made an extra effort this morning, havent we? I didnt respond.
After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal .. Some shopping, cleaning, cooking. After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, Mommy, wheres my washcloth?
I told her to get another one from the cupboard.
She replied, No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.
Never going back to that doctor again .. never.
"..they told me to get greased first, so here I am Vladdie,I'm so ready"
Speaking of beer, here’s a video of a bunch of NZ yahoos plumbing a mate’s house so that beer come out of all the taps. Worth a look.
WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO TGIF!!!!
Them’re some great pictures to start out the silliness.
LOL I saw that! Talk about elaborate pranks.
What a great bumper sticker this would make!!
I’m LATE! But I’m here!
TOP FIFTY! Have a Good Weekend All!
The lunch order
A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won’t quit came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, “What would you like, sir?”
He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, “A quickie.”
The waitress turns and walks away in disgust.
After she regains her composure, she returns and asks again, “What would you like, sir?”
Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, “a quickie, please.”
This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding “SMACK!” and storms away.
A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers, “Um, I think it’s pronounced ‘quiche’.”
Cell phone message
A group of women were at a seminar on “How to live in a loving relationship with your husband.”
The women were asked, “How many of you love your husband?” All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?”
Some women answered today, some yesterday, some couldn’t remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: “I love you, sweetheart.”
The women were then told to exchange phones and to read aloud the text message responses.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Who is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?
3. I love you too.
4. What now? Did you crash the car again?
5. I don’t understand what you mean?
6. What did you do now?
8. Don’t beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I thought we agreed we would not drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay, isn’t she??
He was a widower and she a widow.
They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail.
This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles.
They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high.
The widower throwing admiring glances across the table. The widow smiling coyly back at him.
Finally, he picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"
After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes,..... yes I will!"
The evening ended on a happy note for the widower. But the next morning he was troubled.
Did she say Yes or did she say No?
He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank.
He remembered asking the question but for the life of him could not recall her response. With fear and trepidation he picked up the phone and called her.
First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening.
As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her. "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say Yes or did you say No?"
"Why you silly man, I said Yes. Yes I will. And I meant it with all my heart."
The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat.
Then she continued. "And I am so glad you called because I couldn't remember who asked me!"
(Although I could be wrong, I often am.)
He looking at a roach on his pant leg?
WOOT WOOT....top 100...
‘Stolen’ from RedCitizen — And that’s how the fight started.....
#1 One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!” And that’s how the fight started.....
#2 My wife walked into the den & asked “What’s on the TV?” I replied “Dust”. And that’s how the fight started.....
#3 A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’ The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’ And that’s how the fight started.....
#4 My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.’ I bought her a scale. And that’s how the fight started......
#5 I asked my wife, ‘Where do you want to go for our anniversary?’ It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. ‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ she said. So I suggested, ‘How about the kitchen?’ And that’s how the fight started....
#6 My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have sex?’ ‘No,’ she answered. I then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’ She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying ‘Yes.’ So I said, ‘Then I’d like to phone a friend.’ And that’s how the fight started....
#7 When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive. So, I took her to a gas station. And that’s how the fight started.....
#8 I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that’s how the fight started.....
#9 My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’ ‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’ ‘My God!’ says my wife. ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’ And that’s how the fight started.....
#10 I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it. He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’ So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’ And that’s how the fight started.....
#11 I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. ‘I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.’ He said, ‘Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?’ ‘Nah, she can order for herself.’ And that’s how the fight started.....
Or the Russian translation...
Путин: «он просто пердеть?»
Hope that worked...
He was none too bright. One day, he was using the water fountain outside the bathroom at work and when someone inside flushed, the water pressure on the fountain went down to a dribble. He asked why. When it was explained to him that the toilet and the fountain had the same supply line, he mixed it all up and thought he was drinking used toiled water, freaked out, and immediately threw up all over the place.
This is silly......
Of course, anything from Sheila Jackson Lee is silly if not downright stupid.
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