Skip to comments.NFL WEEK 5 PICKS
Posted on 10/03/2013 4:54:07 AM PDT by Bender2
Week 5 - THU, OCT 3
Buffalo at Cleveland
SUN, OCT 6
New Orleans at Chicago
New England at Cincinnati
Detroit at Green Bay
Kansas City at Tennessee
Seattle at Indianapolis
Jacksonville at St. Louis
Baltimore at Miami
Philadelphia at NY Giants
Carolina at Arizona
Denver at Dallas
Houston at San Francisco
San Diego at Oakland
MON, OCT 7
NY Jets at Atlanta
Bye: Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, Washington
(Excerpt) Read more at sports-ak.espn.go.com ...
Thursday night finds the Buffalopes at the Brownstains and the biggest brown lumps left at the end of the day will be buffalo chips--
Sunday finds the Saints turning the other cheek before finally eating Da Bears' lunch
The Pattycakes, to big's delight, hang TCU North's Bengalskins to the wall
And at Lamboo Field, big's pleasure continues as his Pakcerwackers bankrupt the Loinchops
My Old Dallas Texans, and my new hero, Big Chief Andy... stay undefeated by scalping Allegra's Old Earlers
The 12th Males' Seahags find no luck as the Colts hand them their first loss
Rams get an additional bye as the Teabowless Jags show up and that's all
Joe gets his crabs back down in Phinland, winning in a squeeker
Gadzooks, Pharmboy! Who'd have guessed I'd be pulling for your Jersey Jints to beat the Iggles? Well, since the NFL's new 'PC Feel Good Rules' says both cannot lose, I had to--
Cam get shafted as the Red Byrds pleased the home crowd-- All six of them who are not secret Dallas Cowboys' fan
Allegra's Texicans get back on the horse and hide the 69er's soap-- Or they better 'cause I've seen Allegra mad!
Sorry, Seven- The lights go out in Oakland as the Bolts electrocute your Waiders
Monday night not only do the Jets crash & burn at Vick's old Black Byrds' Memorial Dog Park and Grill, Old, Bold Former-Jet Pilot Joe... does, too!
In the second Bye & Lesbians Weekend Retreat Bowl of the season and the first one with four teams, of the Viqueens, Stoolers, Bucking Ears and Deadskins, only sPittsburg stays winless
Okay, mark this on the seat of your breeches! My Boys... don't have a chinaman's chance against Mile High Manning--
[Gadzooks! Did I... say that out loud?]
But if Jerry's secret negoations with The Left Coast's Chinese Football League for their Supertuff Occidental 'Chop-Chop' Sack Machine pan out, we can win!
"If you meet my demands... you have Hop Sings' Three-Hoof Donkey Stew for Sunday dinner!"
Bender has predicted his Cowboys will lose to Denver, Cornelius, so schedule him... for experimental brain surgery so we can nip this in the bud
BREAKING NEWS FROM CNN SPORTS... Ken Brockmann reporting--
Being Obama's favorite news channel and using our source in the National Security Agency... we have got an advance copy of big's original telegram with his picks for Week 5 as shown here:
While our CNN Code Expert was unable to deciper the text, he did say, "Very interesting... but who can say who wins in the NFL with all this parity crap!"
This has been Ken Brockmann reporting... BREAKING NEWS FROM CNN SPORTS
I predict the steelers wont lose this weekend.
I’m thinking the Fins are going to be extra slippery and beat the Ravens by 5.
LOL. It's a shame that the only way to stop the slide is to take time off.
Bold choice, Yorlikie... that's like predicting big will wear his cheesebra... Sunday at Lamboo Field--
Glad he is away from dog killer M. Vick
Pick um: KC rolls over Titans (FUGLY uniforms)in a walk.
Game of the Week 2: Discount Double Check guy has a must win game against the hated Detroit team. Pack gets back on track : 31-21
Of course, if I really knew what I was doing, I'd be in Vegas making a living at this!
What's not to like... especially that shirt!
You could... make a tent with that shirt big enough to cover my and Jerry's shame when the Broncos bitch-slap my Boys Sunday!
[Gadzooks! Did I say that aloud... again???]
I hope so but my Chief's are hurting. They had 14 players on the injury report for the week. It's going to be a battle.
the fans here are already calling for Tomlin to be replaced.
Tomlin cant make the players hold onto the ball.
will be interesting to see if the steelers go winless thru Oct.
Hey, they were my Dallas Texans... before you were old enough to drink tequila from the neck of the bottle!
Wait! Sorry, that was me... and I was drinking Lone Star Draft straight from the keg!
A Panthers win and a Colts loss? I predict the exact opposite...betcha a cheesburger
Nowadays we toast our CHIEFS with Boulevard Unfiltered Wheat and a big plate of Kansas City barbecue. You may have started the love afair down there in Dallas but I guarantee you we're keeping it going. The last couple of weeks at Arrowhead have been unbelievable. The crowd and the enthusiasm is back, the noise is at old levels. It's great to be wearing the red again.
At first was going to say the Steelers will lose against the Bye week. But I have a good feeling on this one
CLE over BUFF tonite.
I don’t what to choose San Diego or Oaktown
AHHH Picking san diego I don’t know which team is worst Bender
I’ll start with the Beefaloes over the Downs.
--And for those of you... with an Enigma code machine, here is the original copy of big's Thursday night pick:
VXDXV DFDAF XAVVV FAVAF VVVVV ADGXV AXAFD GGXFX AFAVV
ADGDF VFAXV DVXXF DAVXG DVAAF XGDAD XVDVF AVAFV FDGAV
AFVXV DAXAF DGXDA FAFVA AADGV VVVXV VDDFV VGDVD AVVXD
Vhat-- Vhat? Dat says ve... are losing zee var!
Sorry, Adolf, but I did pick the Allies... to win in World War Two--
Make it a bacon cheeseburger and you’re on!
You didn't get points? Come on, the snappy uniforms, the great marching songs...
The Chargers rarely fail to disappoint. Except when they surprise you!
Tomlin is not the problem. The players are. Unfortunately, Tomlin will be blamed and if the team doesn’t turn around, he will be shown the door.
Don’t be so hard on your Boys, Bender. Remember: The Seahawks were NOT supposed to win in Houston....but they DID!
It’s the NFL...ANYTHING can happen!
“On any Sunday...”
Ooooohhhhhhhh, hoagy, hoagy... hoagy--
You know-- You've been watching too much... bad sports film--
And we know that is bad. I tell you it is, so listen to me... Don't watch such crap--
'Cause you don't want to go... against me, do you?
I'd listen to him, hoagy, he's dangerous... He's played Jack Kevorkian , ya know--
Detroit’s on a roll. 4-0. The Packers are 1-2. I’ll take Detroit in that one, even at Lambo Field.
Well, to tell the truth, Bill, I didn't place my bet... until May 1st, 1945--
And that was pretty damn unique... as I wasn't born until the year 3000!
But vou knov, Bill, ve did dress better... And zee Führer? He... could dance zhe pants off Vinston Churchill!
Franz-- Vou are smoking hot! Zhen how en zee hell... are ve losing zee var?
Yeah you got a point
Least the LA Dodgers playing tonight
But Chargers and Raiders both sucks
The Halos over the Bruins
The Patriots over the Bangles
The Packers over the Lionesses
The Seaparakeets over the Folds
The Baltimorons over the Guppies
The Midgets over the Cheesesteaks
The Goats over the Jagworsts
The Indians over the Oilers
The Buzzards over the Punters
The Peytons over the Trailhands
The 69ers over the Texians
The Electricians over the Pirates
The Sparrows over the Cessnas
If the Packers don’t SPANK the Lions in our own house - the Lions haven’t won at Lambeau Field for like eleventy-thousand YEARS...
...you will all be verbally abused by a White Girl, the likes of which you have never heard, LOL!
P.S. The Bears Still Suck.
I predict the EAGLES will be tied for the NFC East lead with the Cowgirls at the end of day Sunday.
But there is a team of sorts called the Iggles... in Philly--
Is that to whom... you are referring?
My humble apology. Yes, it is the IGGLES of whom I speak. I will be more observant in the future.
As a life-long Bears fan and Packer hater, I’m actually pulling for the Slackers...just so the Bears will be in first place in the division all alone.
Yep. They’re doing amazingly well, even WITHOUT Coach Ditka, LOL!
The rejuvenated Browns beat the Bills 37 - 24. Who are these Browns???!!!
Those Browns put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp... they put the ram in the rama lama ding dong--
They knocked the buffalo chips out of Buffalo... I'd like to shake their hands--
They made me 1 and 0... to begin this week!
Yes I saw those...funny! The good ol’ days.
Good luck Sunday. Mr. Rogers will have to do more than look pretty!
I know! Due to team injuries he’s got no one to protect him and no one to throw to!
I picked the Browns too. Will get rest of picks in later.