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NFL WEEK 5 PICKS
ESPN ^

Posted on 10/03/2013 4:54:07 AM PDT by Bender2

Week 5 - THU, OCT 3

Buffalo at Cleveland
SUN, OCT 6

New Orleans at Chicago
New England at Cincinnati
Detroit at Green Bay
Kansas City at Tennessee
Seattle at Indianapolis
Jacksonville at St. Louis
Baltimore at Miami
Philadelphia at NY Giants
Carolina at Arizona
Denver at Dallas
Houston at San Francisco
San Diego at Oakland
MON, OCT 7

NY Jets at Atlanta
Bye: Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, Washington

(Excerpt) Read more at sports-ak.espn.go.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Sports
KEYWORDS: football; nfl
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Went 8 -7 last week, making me 38-25 for the season but Week 5... I get back on the Win Big Wagon with these picks:

Thursday night finds the Buffalopes at the Brownstains and the biggest brown lumps left at the end of the day will be buffalo chips--

Sunday finds the Saints turning the other cheek before finally eating Da Bears' lunch

The Pattycakes, to big's delight, hang TCU North's Bengalskins to the wall

And at Lamboo Field, big's pleasure continues as his Pakcerwackers bankrupt the Loinchops

My Old Dallas Texans, and my new hero, Big Chief Andy... stay undefeated by scalping Allegra's Old Earlers

The 12th Males' Seahags find no luck as the Colts hand them their first loss

Rams get an additional bye as the Teabowless Jags show up and that's all

Joe gets his crabs back down in Phinland, winning in a squeeker

Gadzooks, Pharmboy! Who'd have guessed I'd be pulling for your Jersey Jints to beat the Iggles? Well, since the NFL's new 'PC Feel Good Rules' says both cannot lose, I had to--

Cam get shafted as the Red Byrds pleased the home crowd-- All six of them who are not secret Dallas Cowboys' fan

Allegra's Texicans get back on the horse and hide the 69er's soap-- Or they better 'cause I've seen Allegra mad!

Sorry, Seven- The lights go out in Oakland as the Bolts electrocute your Waiders

Monday night not only do the Jets crash & burn at Vick's old Black Byrds' Memorial Dog Park and Grill, Old, Bold Former-Jet Pilot Joe... does, too!

In the second Bye & Lesbians Weekend Retreat Bowl of the season and the first one with four teams, of the Viqueens, Stoolers, Bucking Ears and Deadskins, only sPittsburg stays winless

Okay, mark this on the seat of your breeches! My Boys... don't have a chinaman's chance against Mile High Manning--

[Gadzooks! Did I... say that out loud?]

But if Jerry's secret negoations with The Left Coast's Chinese Football League for their Supertuff Occidental 'Chop-Chop' Sack Machine pan out, we can win!

"If you meet my demands... you have Hop Sings' Three-Hoof Donkey Stew for Sunday dinner!"

Bender has predicted his Cowboys will lose to Denver, Cornelius, so schedule him... for experimental brain surgery so we can nip this in the bud

BREAKING NEWS FROM CNN SPORTS... Ken Brockmann reporting--

Being Obama's favorite news channel and using our source in the National Security Agency... we have got an advance copy of big's original telegram with his picks for Week 5 as shown here:

While our CNN Code Expert was unable to deciper the text, he did say, "Very interesting... but who can say who wins in the NFL with all this parity crap!"

This has been Ken Brockmann reporting... BREAKING NEWS FROM CNN SPORTS

1 posted on 10/03/2013 4:54:07 AM PDT by Bender2
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To: big'ol_freeper; shove_it; TrueKnightGalahad; Larry Lucido; Diplomat; RockinRight; Army Air Corps; ..
Okay, everybody pick... or talk to the hand!
2 posted on 10/03/2013 4:55:37 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Bender2

I predict the steelers wont lose this weekend.


3 posted on 10/03/2013 5:00:35 AM PDT by Yorlik803 ( Church/Caboose in 2016)
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To: Bender2

I’m thinking the Fins are going to be extra slippery and beat the Ravens by 5.


4 posted on 10/03/2013 5:10:48 AM PDT by corkoman
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To: Yorlik803
“I predict the steelers wont lose this weekend.”

***

LOL. It's a shame that the only way to stop the slide is to take time off.

5 posted on 10/03/2013 5:30:48 AM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: Yorlik803; big'ol_freeper
Re: I predict the steelers wont lose this weekend

Bold choice, Yorlikie... that's like predicting big will wear his cheesebra... Sunday at Lamboo Field--

6 posted on 10/03/2013 5:31:22 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Bender2
I Like Kansas City and Andy Reid

Glad he is away from dog killer M. Vick

Pick um: KC rolls over Titans (FUGLY uniforms)in a walk.

7 posted on 10/03/2013 5:32:17 AM PDT by atc23 (The Confederacy was the single greatest conservative resistance to federal authority ever.)
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To: Bender2
Game of the Week : Houston at Frisco: Tejans cannot lose two in a row this early in season. JJ Watt makes ghettoback Kaperneck cry like a baby. Houston upsets Firniners : 20-10

Game of the Week 2: Discount Double Check guy has a must win game against the hated Detroit team. Pack gets back on track : 31-21

8 posted on 10/03/2013 5:37:16 AM PDT by atc23 (The Confederacy was the single greatest conservative resistance to federal authority ever.)
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To: Bender2
Cleveland continues to stay hot against the Bills...
The Saints remain unbeaten against Cutler and the Bears...
Same with New England against the Bungles...
The Packers, off the bye, beat the inconsistent Lions...
The Chiefs beat the Locker-less Titans...
Seattle D overwhelms the Colts...
Jacksonville gets their first win against St Louis...
Dolphins upend the Ravens...
Philadelphia ends the Giants hopes this season...
Cam Newton and Carolina beat Arizona...
Denver puts up 60 against the 'Boys...
San Franciso comes from 20 down in the 4th to beat the Texans... JJ Watt threatens to kill Matt Schaub...
Philip Rivers leads the Bolts over the Raiders...
Atlanta gives the Jets a dose of reality...

Of course, if I really knew what I was doing, I'd be in Vegas making a living at this!

9 posted on 10/03/2013 5:40:38 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: atc23
Re: I Like Kansas City and Andy Reid

What's not to like... especially that shirt!

You could... make a tent with that shirt big enough to cover my and Jerry's shame when the Broncos bitch-slap my Boys Sunday!

[Gadzooks! Did I say that aloud... again???]

10 posted on 10/03/2013 5:43:32 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Bender2
My Old Dallas Texans, and my new hero, Big Chief Andy... stay undefeated by scalping Allegra's Old Earlers

I hope so but my Chief's are hurting. They had 14 players on the injury report for the week. It's going to be a battle.

11 posted on 10/03/2013 5:43:32 AM PDT by DoodleDawg
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To: fatnotlazy

the fans here are already calling for Tomlin to be replaced.
Tomlin cant make the players hold onto the ball.
will be interesting to see if the steelers go winless thru Oct.


12 posted on 10/03/2013 5:44:09 AM PDT by Yorlik803 ( Church/Caboose in 2016)
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To: DoodleDawg
Re: I hope so but my Chief's are hurting

Hey, they were my Dallas Texans... before you were old enough to drink tequila from the neck of the bottle!

Wait! Sorry, that was me... and I was drinking Lone Star Draft straight from the keg!

13 posted on 10/03/2013 5:50:02 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Rummyfan

A Panthers win and a Colts loss? I predict the exact opposite...betcha a cheesburger


14 posted on 10/03/2013 5:51:21 AM PDT by IAmNotAnAnimal (2/75 Army Ranger Retiree - Go Swamp Dogs!)
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To: Bender2
Sorry, that was me... and I was drinking Lone Star Draft straight from the keg!

Nowadays we toast our CHIEFS with Boulevard Unfiltered Wheat and a big plate of Kansas City barbecue. You may have started the love afair down there in Dallas but I guarantee you we're keeping it going. The last couple of weeks at Arrowhead have been unbelievable. The crowd and the enthusiasm is back, the noise is at old levels. It's great to be wearing the red again.

15 posted on 10/03/2013 5:55:02 AM PDT by DoodleDawg
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To: Bender2

At first was going to say the Steelers will lose against the Bye week. But I have a good feeling on this one


16 posted on 10/03/2013 6:05:06 AM PDT by Yorlik803 ( Church/Caboose in 2016)
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To: Bender2

http://www.johnspeedie.com/healy/cowboys.wav


17 posted on 10/03/2013 7:43:58 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Rummyfan

Go Browns!


18 posted on 10/03/2013 7:56:06 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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go Browns!

CLE over BUFF tonite.


19 posted on 10/03/2013 7:58:23 AM PDT by campaignPete R-CT (Impy knows that HFA = home field advantage)
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To: Bender2

I don’t what to choose San Diego or Oaktown

AHHH Picking san diego I don’t know which team is worst Bender


20 posted on 10/03/2013 9:03:34 AM PDT by SevenofNine (We are Freepers, all your media bases belong to us ,resistance is futile)
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To: Bender2

I’ll start with the Beefaloes over the Downs.


21 posted on 10/03/2013 9:13:34 AM PDT by big'ol_freeper ("Evil is powerless if the good are unafraid" ~ Ronald Wilson Reagan)
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To: big'ol_freeper
Re: I’ll start with the Beefaloes over the Downs

--And for those of you... with an Enigma code machine, here is the original copy of big's Thursday night pick:

VXDXV DFDAF XAVVV FAVAF VVVVV ADGXV AXAFD GGXFX AFAVV

ADGDF VFAXV DVXXF DAVXG DVAAF XGDAD XVDVF AVAFV FDGAV

AFVXV DAXAF DGXDA FAFVA AADGV VVVXV VDDFV VGDVD AVVXD

Vhat-- Vhat? Dat says ve... are losing zee var!

Sorry, Adolf, but I did pick the Allies... to win in World War Two--

22 posted on 10/03/2013 10:26:06 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: IAmNotAnAnimal

Make it a bacon cheeseburger and you’re on!


23 posted on 10/03/2013 10:26:30 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: Bender2
Sorry, Adolf, but I did pick the allies to win in World War Two.

You didn't get points? Come on, the snappy uniforms, the great marching songs...

24 posted on 10/03/2013 10:29:25 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Yorlik803
I predict the steelers wont lose this weekend.

********************

Pffft.

25 posted on 10/03/2013 10:32:14 AM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: SevenofNine
AHHH Picking san diego I don’t know which team is worst Bender

The Chargers rarely fail to disappoint. Except when they surprise you!

26 posted on 10/03/2013 10:34:14 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: Yorlik803

Tomlin is not the problem. The players are. Unfortunately, Tomlin will be blamed and if the team doesn’t turn around, he will be shown the door.


27 posted on 10/03/2013 10:44:45 AM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: Bender2

Don’t be so hard on your Boys, Bender. Remember: The Seahawks were NOT supposed to win in Houston....but they DID!

It’s the NFL...ANYTHING can happen!

“On any Sunday...”


28 posted on 10/03/2013 10:49:48 AM PDT by hoagy62 ("Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered..."-Thomas Paine. 1776)
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To: hoagy62
Re: "On... any Sunday..."

Ooooohhhhhhhh, hoagy, hoagy... hoagy--

You know-- You've been watching too much... bad sports film--

And we know that is bad. I tell you it is, so listen to me... Don't watch such crap--

'Cause you don't want to go... against me, do you?

I'd listen to him, hoagy, he's dangerous... He's played Jack Kevorkian , ya know--

29 posted on 10/03/2013 11:19:36 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Bender2

Detroit’s on a roll. 4-0. The Packers are 1-2. I’ll take Detroit in that one, even at Lambo Field.


30 posted on 10/03/2013 11:42:44 AM PDT by Jack Black ( Whatever is left of American patriotism is now identical with counter-revolution.)
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To: Billthedrill; big'ol_freeper; shove_it; TrueKnightGalahad; Larry Lucido; Diplomat; RockinRight; ...
Re: You didn't get points? Come on, the snappy uniforms, the great marching songs...

Well, to tell the truth, Bill, I didn't place my bet... until May 1st, 1945--

And that was pretty damn unique... as I wasn't born until the year 3000!

But vou knov, Bill, ve did dress better... And zee Führer? He... could dance zhe pants off Vinston Churchill!

Franz-- Vou are smoking hot! Zhen how en zee hell... are ve losing zee var?

31 posted on 10/03/2013 11:47:34 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Rummyfan

Yeah you got a point

Least the LA Dodgers playing tonight

But Chargers and Raiders both sucks


32 posted on 10/03/2013 12:40:36 PM PDT by SevenofNine (We are Freepers, all your media bases belong to us ,resistance is futile)
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To: Bender2
The rest of my prognostications...

The Halos over the Bruins
The Patriots over the Bangles
The Packers over the Lionesses
The Seaparakeets over the Folds
The Baltimorons over the Guppies
The Midgets over the Cheesesteaks
The Goats over the Jagworsts
The Indians over the Oilers
The Buzzards over the Punters
The Peytons over the Trailhands
The 69ers over the Texians
The Electricians over the Pirates
and
The Sparrows over the Cessnas

http://dd.img.v4.skyrock.net/6861/69936861/pics/2841342144_1.jpg

33 posted on 10/03/2013 1:18:37 PM PDT by big'ol_freeper ("Evil is powerless if the good are unafraid" ~ Ronald Wilson Reagan)
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To: big'ol_freeper
Dot es a vonderbar shotgun, ja? Es it... zee Joe Biden model?
34 posted on 10/03/2013 2:09:27 PM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Absolutely Nobama; Thunder90; 4everontheRight; ABG(anybody but Gore); Abbeville Conservative; ...

NFL PING

FReepmail Perdogg to be added to, or to be taken off the NFL Ping list...
35 posted on 10/03/2013 2:53:22 PM PDT by Perdogg (Ted Cruz-Rand Paul 2016)
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To: Bender2

If the Packers don’t SPANK the Lions in our own house - the Lions haven’t won at Lambeau Field for like eleventy-thousand YEARS...

...you will all be verbally abused by a White Girl, the likes of which you have never heard, LOL!

P.S. The Bears Still Suck.


36 posted on 10/03/2013 2:59:57 PM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: Bender2

I predict the EAGLES will be tied for the NFC East lead with the Cowgirls at the end of day Sunday.


37 posted on 10/03/2013 3:10:00 PM PDT by deweyfrank
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To: deweyfrank
Eagles? Eagles? Don't think I know... of any Eagles in the NFL--

But there is a team of sorts called the Iggles... in Philly--

Is that to whom... you are referring?

38 posted on 10/03/2013 3:15:30 PM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Bender2

My humble apology. Yes, it is the IGGLES of whom I speak. I will be more observant in the future.


39 posted on 10/03/2013 3:24:18 PM PDT by deweyfrank
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To: deweyfrank
Thanks you, your future efforts will be appreciated, df... and free beer is provided for those that observe with gusto--
40 posted on 10/03/2013 3:30:36 PM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

As a life-long Bears fan and Packer hater, I’m actually pulling for the Slackers...just so the Bears will be in first place in the division all alone.


41 posted on 10/03/2013 4:04:15 PM PDT by Rennes Templar (Seen any scandal headlines lately?)
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To: Bender2
Back off Fritz
42 posted on 10/03/2013 4:19:18 PM PDT by big'ol_freeper ("Evil is powerless if the good are unafraid" ~ Ronald Wilson Reagan)
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To: Rennes Templar

Yep. They’re doing amazingly well, even WITHOUT Coach Ditka, LOL!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BPmiTAGM78


43 posted on 10/03/2013 5:39:14 PM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: Rennes Templar

ROFLMAO!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SJHNqz7kHo


44 posted on 10/03/2013 5:40:54 PM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: Bender2

The rejuvenated Browns beat the Bills 37 - 24. Who are these Browns???!!!


45 posted on 10/04/2013 12:29:09 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: Rummyfan; big'ol_freeper; shove_it; TrueKnightGalahad; Larry Lucido; Diplomat; RockinRight; ...
Re: The rejuvenated Browns beat the Bills 37 - 24. Who are these Browns???!!!

Those Browns put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp... they put the ram in the rama lama ding dong--

They knocked the buffalo chips out of Buffalo... I'd like to shake their hands--

They made me 1 and 0... to begin this week!

46 posted on 10/04/2013 5:22:26 AM PDT by Bender2 ("I've got a twisted sense of humor, and everything amuses me." RAH Beyond this Horizon)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin

Yes I saw those...funny! The good ol’ days.

Good luck Sunday. Mr. Rogers will have to do more than look pretty!


47 posted on 10/04/2013 7:25:33 AM PDT by Rennes Templar (Seen any scandal headlines lately?)
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To: Rennes Templar

I know! Due to team injuries he’s got no one to protect him and no one to throw to!


48 posted on 10/04/2013 7:50:50 AM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set...)
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To: Bender2

I picked the Browns too. Will get rest of picks in later.


49 posted on 10/04/2013 8:57:42 AM PDT by darkangel82
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47-16 for the season thru week 4

Week 5 winners:
CLE
KC
MIA
STL
CINN
INDY
GB
CHI
PHILLY
AZ
SD
DEN
SF
ATL


50 posted on 10/04/2013 9:06:56 AM PDT by campaignPete R-CT (WWLD? What would LaRussa do?)
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