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Woman Pleads Guilty to Robbing Bank with Spaghetti Sauce
Breitbart ^ | 10/08/2013 | Jon David Kahn

Posted on 10/09/2013 9:49:51 AM PDT by Silentgypsy

MOUNT CLEMENS, Michigan - A 53-year-old woman has pleaded guilty after she allegedly used cans of spaghetti sauce to simulate a bomb and then proceeded to rob a bank. Police say Ophelia A. Neal, a parole absconder, robbed a Fifth Third Bank branch in Macomb County's Clinton Township on April 6.

According to police, Neal told bank employees she had a bomb in a cloth bag, demanded money and fled with an undisclosed amount of cash into a getaway car driven by a man.

Neal pleaded guilty Monday in Oakland County Circuit Court in Mount Clemens to bank robbery and explosives charges. She is scheduled to be sentenced Nov. 19.

(Excerpt) Read more at breitbart.com ...


TOPICS: Food; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: bank; spaghettisauce
"She also makes a flawless baked ziti with a meatless Ragu."
1 posted on 10/09/2013 9:49:52 AM PDT by Silentgypsy
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To: Slings and Arrows

Ping


2 posted on 10/09/2013 9:50:17 AM PDT by Silentgypsy (the seed spawn of zor-ketthraa!.)
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To: Silentgypsy

Why did her bank have spaghetti sauce? Were they branching out into groceries?


3 posted on 10/09/2013 9:53:47 AM PDT by TBP (Obama lies, Granny dies.)
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To: Silentgypsy

Youza gives me’s the monie’s, orza I wacks a you in za face wits dis can a da spaghetti!


4 posted on 10/09/2013 9:56:29 AM PDT by factoryrat (We are the producers, the creators. Grow it, mine it, build it.)
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To: Silentgypsy

But was it assault spaghetti sauce?


5 posted on 10/09/2013 10:01:09 AM PDT by dirtboy
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To: Silentgypsy; Revolting cat!; Slings and Arrows; Daffynition

The bank staff was only prepared for defense against an attacker armed with a banana.


6 posted on 10/09/2013 10:01:51 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: dirtboy

AR-15: Assault Ragu!


7 posted on 10/09/2013 10:02:18 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: Silentgypsy
"Try walking into one of those places with nothing but a can of spaghetti sauce, see how far that will get you..."
8 posted on 10/09/2013 10:04:10 AM PDT by PGR88
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To: Silentgypsy

It was all a misunderstanding.

She said, “I have a pesto.”

The bank people thought she said, “I have a pistol.”


9 posted on 10/09/2013 10:04:27 AM PDT by Wordkraft (Remember who the Collaborators are.)
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To: PGR88

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hLIXrlpRe8


10 posted on 10/09/2013 10:09:44 AM PDT by EEGator
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To: dirtboy

she was threatening to whip them with a noodle??


11 posted on 10/09/2013 10:32:59 AM PDT by GeronL
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To: Silentgypsy; Slings and Arrows



Flying Spaghetti Bomb


12 posted on 10/09/2013 10:36:54 AM PDT by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: Wordkraft

Today’s weather in Clinton Township...Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs


13 posted on 10/09/2013 10:45:25 AM PDT by RckyRaCoCo (Shall Not Be Infringed)
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To: Silentgypsy

You know, I could have sat for 24 hours making up imaginary newspaper headlines, and I never would have come up with this one.


14 posted on 10/09/2013 11:19:04 AM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: a fool in paradise

As I’ve been saying all along, we’ve got too many laws! Who ever thought of passing and signing a law penalizing citizens for illegally using spaghetti sauce?!


15 posted on 10/09/2013 11:21:53 AM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: All

If it’s a Fifth Third bank, then it’s a Fifteenth Bank.


16 posted on 10/09/2013 11:37:44 AM PDT by Peter ODonnell (It wasn't this cold before global warming)
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To: Silentgypsy

This doesn’t pasta smell test.


17 posted on 10/09/2013 11:39:44 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Peter ODonnell

1 and 2/3 bank


18 posted on 10/09/2013 11:41:39 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: a fool in paradise
Ophelia.(From Google Images.)


19 posted on 10/09/2013 11:44:21 AM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: Peter ODonnell; TBP; factoryrat; dirtboy; a fool in paradise; PGR88; Wordkraft; EEGator; GeronL; ...
And I thought the article was funny! Y'all are priceless!
20 posted on 10/09/2013 11:49:15 AM PDT by Silentgypsy (the seed spawn of zor-ketthraa!.)
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To: a fool in paradise
The bank staff was only prepared for defense against an attacker armed with a banana.


21 posted on 10/09/2013 11:51:39 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Silentgypsy; Daffynition; dfwgator; Revolting cat!
"Everybody freeze! This is a rubbertree!"


22 posted on 10/09/2013 11:55:46 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: Silentgypsy; a fool in paradise
She should of used kimchi, that's powerful stuff!

Me, I employ my grandmother's pickled beets recipe (with raw horseradish) that would scare to death just about anybody!


23 posted on 10/09/2013 11:58:18 AM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: Revolting cat!

You will get my maters from my cold dead hands

*sprinkes salt*


24 posted on 10/09/2013 11:59:06 AM PDT by GeronL
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To: Revolting cat!

The teller would tell the authorities you threatened to beet her!


25 posted on 10/09/2013 12:02:10 PM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: a fool in paradise
Put down the vodka, mam'.


26 posted on 10/09/2013 7:14:05 PM PDT by Daffynition (*In memory of FReeper Blackie. God rest his *Hooligan* soul.*)
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To: Revolting cat!
You could be in a bank, see a man with a gun, report it and get arrested yourself.

Or you could simply live in Connecticut.

27 posted on 10/09/2013 7:18:12 PM PDT by Daffynition (*In memory of FReeper Blackie. God rest his *Hooligan* soul.*)
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