Skip to comments.Slushie Machine Wonders What It Ever Did To Naked Woman Attacking It At Gas Station
Posted on 10/09/2013 8:27:02 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows
Youre a slushie machine. You sit at home at the convenience store of the gas station, churning out sweet frozen delight and depositing it in customers cups. Then along comes an unclothed someone who wants to beat you up and for what? What did you ever do to deserve such a beat down?
The aggrieved slushie machine in this instance was minding its own chilly business at a Shell station in Massachusetts when police say a woman took off all her clothing in a violent attack on the machine.
WWLP.coms 22News reports that cops had to use a taser and pepper to subdue the 26-year-old suspect while her two children were in the car in the wee hours of Sunday morning.
State Troopers called in police to help them out when they found the woman causing damage to the machine inside the store. According to authorities, she resisted their efforts and took off all her clothes while continuing to fight, kick and yell until she was placed under arrest.
As for any reason why a slushie machine would become the victim of such an outburst, a police representative says her behavior could indicate PCP use, because people under its effects can feel hot and agitated. And slushies are very cold, so maybe that makes sense?
Poor slushie machine. Keep churning, little guy.
“...her behavior could indicate PCP...”
From watching the teevee station anchor, I learned that in Massachusetts, Liberal Intellectual Capital of the Whole World, and Home of John Kerry...
“Holyoke” (HO-lee-OAK) is ACTUALLY pronounced “ho-yo”. With kind of a lazy slur.
Who’da thunk it?
If taking off your clothes is considered violent, you might not be good looking.
Yo Momma's so ugly, she took off her clothes and got arrested for violent assault on a slurpee machine!!
You're just asking for a Helen Thomas pic, you know.
All aboard, the KARMA machine.
I didn’t click on the link for fear there’d be a picture of her own recipe in the machine.
Considering what we’ve seen in the past, this thread is not useless without pictures.
If so, he’s putting more than Viagra in those cheeseburgers.
I keep thinking of that really old episode of the Simpsons where Bart and Milhouse go on a bender after drinking an all sugar slushie.
Maybe that was her problem? In the wisdom of Bart “A man on a squishee bender csn sure do some strange things”.
Further proof, as if we need it, that nothing good happens after 2 am.
Never mind that.
What do I have to do to GET attacked by a naked woman???
I swear it weren’t me!
> Never mind that. What do I have to do to GET attacked by a naked woman???
If you are, I guarantee you it’ll be by one you DON’T want to see naked.
Unlikely; I wanna see ‘em ALL naked.
But, then, I’m an old, old man, and it’s been a very long time, so....
It all makes sense now...
Two words: Helen Thomas