Skip to comments.Relax – zombie apocalypse would only last a week
Posted on 10/24/2013 6:21:26 AM PDT by Oshkalaboomboom
Flesh is food and the fresher the better. Its something the zombies know. Probably the only thing, actually.
But what about their own dead or rather, undead flesh?
And thats good news for the hipster tribes who spend weekends dressing up as zombies while worrying just what they would/will do if/when Day of The Dead actually arrives. If they survive that initial frenzy, they can sit back and watch Mother Nature do the rest.
US National Wildlife Federation naturalist David Mizejewski has put the matter into perspective, stating this planets fauna would deal with such animated evil brutally, and without quarter.
Relax, he writes. Next time youre lying in bed, unable to fall asleep thanks to the vague anxiety of half-rotten corpses munching on you in the dark, remember this: if there was ever a zombie uprising, wildlife would kick its ass.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
Well, that’s a relief!
I'd like to take any of these "mankind is destroying nature" types out of whatever they live in, slap them into the wilderness with nothing on, no food, no gear, no weapons, and no camera crew. We'll see how long they last. There's far more nature out there than there is mankind. Most of nature has been untouched.
It's like the argument some morons made about not putting a Walmart near where they live. One idiot argued that the Walmart would squeeze out the space for all the critters. I would have loved to have been there to laugh at him. I'd ask two questions. 1) What about the poor critters displaced by your neighborhood/home? and 2) We live in the frickin' desert. Just 300 feet away is access to more open space than anything the Walmart would consume. Do you think the wildlife is going to die out because it's too stupid to move a hundred yards?
Unfortunately, it’s not the physical dead I’m prepping against; it’s the spiritually dead. They don’t deteriorate quite as fast...
I also always figured they wouldn’t survive the first winter in colder climates, and would start falling apart in the first summer in hotter climates.
Almost time to pull the veil off the whole “zombie” thing -
when we say “zombie”, we’re referring to the roaving hordes of EBT/Welfare dependent people coming to directly take our stuff instead of doing it through the government.
And we’re prepared for such “zombies” as well.
I thought it was viruses that saved mankind in Wells’ alien invasion.
It totally depends on the type of zombie that we end up with. The zombies in “I am Legend” are not rotting corpses. And they don’t just kill people. They also killed the dog.
Then there’s the issue brought up in Resident Evil where the carrion birds were also ‘turned’...
Zombie bacteria... woah...
1. The supernatural kind. These are animated dead people that want to attack you, and for supernatural reasons are not subject to the laws of nature governing energy, work, and structural support. There is no point in trying to create hypotheticals concerning supernatural zombies, because no consistent rules must apply.
2. Scientifically based zombies. Such as found in the movie “Legend”. These creatures are not dead, but are animalistic forms of humans. They must eat to survive, and they do not need to be shot in the brain to kill them (although it helps). This form of zombie is easy to make rules about, as the laws of nature must apply.
3. Odd combination of #1 and #2 that makes no sense whatsoever, as in “The Walking Dead”. Where the cause is scientific, but the effect is supernatural. These zombies seemingly do not require food, circulation, active nerves, etc., however, they have functioning brains. Their cell structure biology is unexplainably immune from the laws of nature (eyes and ears would be the first organs to become worthless without regeneration). Although tempting to create rules for these zombies, its a fools errand, as they are more supernatural than scientific.
Zombie Apocalypse movies best serve as a metaphor for lawless, animalistic rioters taking over, and good people doing their best to survive in the chaos. Notice how many zombie movies/shows there are and how popular they are. This is a subconscious realization of a lurking danger.
“Relax. Judgment Day would only last 24 hours.”
The government-media complex loves chaos in the marketplace of ideas.
Whether it is celebrating serial killers, shark attacks, car pileups, or zombie apocalypses.
Besides ... if they’re really dead, why do they even need to eat at all?
In the movie Kiss The Girls one woman was killed by doing nothing other than tying her to a tree and letting nature do the rest. Not only a brutal death but untraceable because no weapon, no marks and a brand of rope that could have come from anywhere. Scaphism also made use of Mother Nature in all her glory.
interesting breakdown however, i should point out that in the last season of Walking Dead we learned that if you starve the zombies they sort of become submissive. the black gal had two zombies that she used as pack mules. she severed their jaws and arms and kept them on chains. of course the creators dont seem to want to apply this element to the zombie population at large because by now most of the zombies should have turned/starved into this condition which would make for a much less entertaining show.
They will when the EBT and Section 8 and Welfare ends. . .(evil grin)
There is actually an opportunity to make a “Christian zombie” film about Hallowmas - All Hallows’ Eve, All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day.
The basic idea would be that all of a sudden, on Halloween, the reanimated bodies of the *sinful* dead rise from their graves. Only a minority of these zombies still want to be evil and harm the living, and perform acts of desecration and sin.
The majority seek redemption, and after a long night, at the next day’s dawn, the spirits of the Christian saints arise, on All Saints’ Day, to guide them to heaven, and many make it, shedding their earthly cadaverous remains, though some are still so filled with evil and hate that they choose to return to the grave.
Then, on the dawn of the third day, All Souls’ Day, the souls of the righteous come forth as spirits, to spread love and joy and healing around to the living before themselves ascending to heaven.
Zombie apocalypse is just code word for “race war”. Spread the word.
Starve the beast.....hmmmm
The spiritual dead last forever. It’s the world around them that rots.
I’m still trying to figure out why they didn’t take a truck, go around to various towns and load up on barbed wire. String that stuff all over the place and take some pressure off the fences. Also, the governor had a good idea last season when they setup zombie traps; deep hole plus a little bit of noise and viola!
“The Walking Dead” is a documentary on what-not-to-do during a Zombie Appocalypse.
Cause of death for these characters is always stupidity.
I’m told that if you inject yourself with typhus, they’ll leave you alone.
Alternatively, you can chop up a corpse and smear its guts all over yourself and walk through a crowd of ‘em unmolested, just watch out for rain.
Sure a zombie might rot in a week, but he neglects to take into account that zombieness is contagious, so, if enough hosts are available, it will spread exponentially. Viruses don’t live very long either, but they can multiply a lot before they die, so their short lifespan doesn’t stop them.
DING DING DING
“I thought it was viruses that saved mankind in Wells alien invasion.”
bacteria. The concept of a virus was barely on the horizon in 1898 when that book was published.