Why does Santa need a fighter escort? Children's groups outraged as NORAD militarises Christmas Eve

Daily Mail (U.K.) ^ | 4 December 2013 | Daily Mail Reporter

[GeronL]

http://asspos.blogspot.com/2012/12/true-horror-story-behind-rudolph.html

True Horror Story Behind Rudolph Revealed

You heard the story: "Then one foggy Christmas Eve"... Santa asked Rudolph to guide his sleigh. What they don't tell you is that it really was just one and only one, Christmas Eve. Afterward Santa took delivery of a highly advanced, nuclear-powered sleigh delivery vehicle.

This is the inside word from of the reindeer involved, Blitzen.

"This solved all the problems Santa had of course, the problem is that all of us reindeer were out of a job.

Once Rudolph had broken tradition, all the traditions were thrown out. Elf magic was augmented by GPS navigation and on-board radar. His old-fashion spectacles were replaced with helmet-mounted night-vision HUD."

Blitzen says this was the beginning of the end for the North Pole Reigndeer Squad "Santa had always wanted to deliver in North Korea. It's hard not to have sympathy for the people in a prison state like that. The problem was it wasn't on the route, he tasked us reindeer to scout it one year, so that he could add it to the next years' itinerary."

"When the time came we all flew in formation, high enough to see the Yalu River from above Seoul. We're reindeer, so North Korean radar couldn't possibly pick us up. We didn't realize at the time that Rudolph was lit up like an AWACS. That nose."

"We didn't realize until Donner exploded and fell into the darkness below. A Chinese-built copy of the Russian 9K22 Tunguska firing SA-19 missiles had taken him out. We scrambled and dived low. Rudolph tried to turn his nose off, but he was panicky and couldn't control it."

Blitzen broke down at this point. "We lost a lot of good reindeer that night. Not just Donner but Dasher, Dancer and Vixen. Vixen, she was my good friend. It was a disaster from the get-go. I ordered Rudolph to head at top speed north to the Yalu River into China while we all went to the northeast towards the ocean passing Wonsan".

"It was bad. Donner went down near Sariwon, we heard later that Kim Jong-eun ate a dinner of reindeer steak to gloat in his victory. Just disgusting. Vixen went down around Anju as we were taking evasive action."

"Rudolph? I was real sore with him for a long time, but we never heard from him again. There were reports of a shoot-down near Kanggye but they were unconfirmed. I think Rudolph went into hiding, I mean, I don't blame him."

"The North Pole Reindeer Squad was officially disbanded. We are all officially unemployed or retired. Sure, elves clean the stalls and feed us 3 squares a day but it's not the same as being out there. I really miss those guys, especially Vixen of course. They went down in action, they died heroes. The rest of us old reindeer will just die old and gamey"

"Well, that is the real story of what happened. I wish it was jollier"

[GeronL]

lol

[SECURE AMERICA]

Wow. I am so glad that there are no real problems facing children or our world. Great to see we have time to be upset over nothing.....

[Axenolith]

Don’t forget the HARM loadout!

[5th MEB]

These people are IDIOTS; every kid knows that the fighter jets are an Honor Guard.

[5th MEB]

Your not crazy; I remember it from when I was a kid in the late 50’s and early 60’s.

[5th MEB]

GREAT, thanks a lot. Now I have to wash my eyes out with hydrochloric acid.

[Yosemitest]

Those "IDIOTS" are destroying our children's minds.
Let us remember ...

"You Americans are so gullible.
No, you won’t accept Communism outright.
But we will keep feeding you small doses of socialism
until you finally wake up and realize you already have communism.
We won’t have to fight you;
we’ll so weaken your economy
that you will fall like over ripe fruit into our hands. "


Nikita Kruschev, Former Soviet Premier

[ThePatriotsFlag]

An unidentified high level source at NORAD said it was because there is a war on Christmas and they were going to protect the tradition. Homeland Security is asking for armed guard to protect nativity scenes for the same reason. /s

(Actually, it is a kind of neat symbolism, protecting Christmas traditions. I approve!!)

[no-to-illegals]

Gee ... this is heartbreaking. Vixon was one of my favorites too, along with Donner, Dasher and Dancer. I understand why Blitzen broke down during telling of this incident and Rudolph went into hiding after the incident. The others were lucky to make it out alive. Wait till I read this to the children. The truth must be known. The children must grow up to know the truth.

[no-to-illegals]

courtesy ping.

[GeronL]

lol

[no-to-illegals]

Kind of makes one feel crowded in a large room with four present. LOL ... two politicians and two inters. May I be the fly on wall?

[SuziQ]

Oh, for the luvva Pete!