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Shakespeare Insult Kit
Pete Levin ^ | Unknown

Posted on 12/08/2013 2:43:58 PM PST by EveningStar

Ye Olde Official Shakespearean Insult Kit

Hello friends. Are you weary of giving voice to the same tired old invectives when boorish rubes intrude upon your serenity? Don't you wish you could inveigh your enemy with a genuinely classic put-down?

Well, now you can. With this handy-dandy SHAKESPEAREAN INSULT KIT, you can have the spleen of The Bard at your disposal!

The next time someone cuts you off in traffic, or a clerk behaves rudely, stun them with your lexicographical command of vituperation.

Combine one selection from each of the four pull-down lists below, and impale your unsuspecting foe.

(Excerpt) Read more at petelevin.com ...


TOPICS: Books/Literature; Humor
KEYWORDS: insult; shakespeare; shakespearean; shakespeareinsultkit
This is posted all over the Internet, either as a graphic, or a list, but this site offers it as a pull-down selection kit. :)
1 posted on 12/08/2013 2:43:58 PM PST by EveningStar
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To: Slings and Arrows; martin_fierro; Borges

ping


2 posted on 12/08/2013 2:44:59 PM PST by EveningStar
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To: EveningStar
♥Beware my sting thou craven rump-fed maggot-pie.♥

I will tuck this away for future use. I do love Evernote.

3 posted on 12/08/2013 2:51:39 PM PST by Dysart (Obamacare: "We are losing money on every subscriber-- but we will make it up in volume!")
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To: EveningStar

Trouble him not; his wits are gone.


4 posted on 12/08/2013 2:51:57 PM PST by MUDDOG
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To: EveningStar

“Fie, fie upon thee!”


5 posted on 12/08/2013 2:53:50 PM PST by Publius ("Who is John Galt?" by Billthedrill and Publius now available at Amazon.)
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To: EveningStar

Hours of fun!


6 posted on 12/08/2013 2:55:35 PM PST by Ray76
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To: EveningStar

Not Shakespearean, but one of my favorite put downs: You, sir, (or ma’am) are the soiled diaper on the parking lot of life.


7 posted on 12/08/2013 2:55:51 PM PST by IYAS9YAS (Has anyone seen my tagline? It was here yesterday. I seem to have misplaced it.)
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To: EveningStar

You can’t really appreciate Shakespeare it until you’ve read it in the original Klingon.

“Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war”


8 posted on 12/08/2013 2:59:06 PM PST by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.)
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bkmrk


9 posted on 12/08/2013 3:20:42 PM PST by lonevoice (Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived)
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To: EveningStar

No Bard, but.......
“if brains were gas, you couldn’t power an ant go-kart around the inside of a cheeri-o” gets the message across.


10 posted on 12/08/2013 3:36:38 PM PST by Thumper1960 (A modern so-called "Conservative" is a shadow of a wisp of a vertebrate human being.)
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To: EveningStar

“Be not deaf, thou lumpish beef-witted giglet!”

Oh yeah. Some chick will feel my wrath come Monday.


11 posted on 12/08/2013 3:50:12 PM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: EveningStar

still hard to beat: “you filthy piece of distended rectum”


12 posted on 12/08/2013 4:03:28 PM PST by camle (keep an open mind and someone will fill it full of something for you)
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To: EveningStar

http://ergofabulous.org/luther/?


13 posted on 12/08/2013 4:07:22 PM PST by Fzob (Jesus + anything = nothing, Jesus + nothing = everything)
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To: Fzob

Thanks! :)


14 posted on 12/08/2013 4:13:20 PM PST by EveningStar
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To: EveningStar
Bathe thyself, thou dissembling codpiece-sniffing mumble-news.

I'm ready if I ever see Chris Matthews after another romance of Obama.

15 posted on 12/08/2013 4:24:54 PM PST by KarlInOhio (Everyone get online for Obamacare on 10/1. Overload the system and crash it hard!)
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To: Vaquero

I saw this at Barnes and Noble a few weeks ago and paged through it. I ended up laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face.

16 posted on 12/08/2013 4:31:06 PM PST by Stonewall Jackson (I aim to misbehave.)
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May your mother run from beneath the porch and bite you........


17 posted on 12/08/2013 4:49:47 PM PST by S.O.S121.500 (Case back hoe for sale or trade for diesel wood chipper....Enforce the Bill of Rights. It's the Law!)
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To: EveningStar

Get thee hence thou gleeking knotty-pated moldwarp.


18 posted on 12/08/2013 5:54:01 PM PST by Domestic Church (AMDG ...what's that you say?)
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To: Vaquero
.



Star Trek -- The Undiscovered Country -- "Cry Havoc and Let Slip the Dogs of War - (click)



.

19 posted on 12/08/2013 6:26:02 PM PST by Patton@Bastogne (Swine Piss be upon the Sodmite Obama, and his Child-Rapist False Prophet Mohammed)
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To: Publius
.



Merchant of Venice -- Act IV -- "Fie, Fie Upon Your Law" - (click)



.

20 posted on 12/08/2013 6:26:45 PM PST by Patton@Bastogne (Swine Piss be upon the Sodmite Obama, and his Child-Rapist False Prophet Mohammed)
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To: EveningStar
I've always loved the Earl of Worcester's put down to King Henry IV (which was not well received by the King)

Worcester: Our house, my sovereign liege, little deserves
The scourge of greatness to be used on it;

King Henry IV, part 1, Scene III

21 posted on 12/08/2013 6:36:58 PM PST by MrsEmmaPeel (a government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take everything you have)
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To: EveningStar

With complete disrespect to Al Gore...

“Eat my knickers thou beslubbering beef-witted boar-pig!


22 posted on 12/08/2013 6:37:32 PM PST by k4gypsyrose
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To: EveningStar

I like bed-presser, myself.


23 posted on 12/08/2013 6:40:25 PM PST by Jim Noble (When strong, avoid them. Attack their weaknesses. Emerge to their surprise.)
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To: EveningStar

Love it. Hope someone develops a phone app of this.


24 posted on 12/09/2013 11:03:13 AM PST by JoeRed
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