Skip to comments.***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 12/20/2013 5:15:05 AM PST by Lucky9teen
We're sorry to announce that due to budget cuts the beloved carol "Silver Bells"
will be replaced with the more cost-effective carol "Aluminum Bells."
Kids and Christmas:
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
Two daughters had been given parts in a Christmas pageant at their Church.
At dinner that night, they got into an argument as to who had the most important role.
Finally the 14 year old said to her 8 year old younger sister, "Well, you just ask Mom.
She'll tell you it's much harder to be a virgin than it is to be an angel."
"The Nativity Scene"
A 7-year old child was drawing a picture of the Nativity.
The picture was very good, including Mary, Joseph and, of course, baby Jesus.
However, there was a fat man standing in the corner of the stable, that just did not seem to fit in.
When the child was asked about it, she replied, "Oh, That's Round John Virgin."
"The Lost Purse"
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping.
It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.
Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it.
Now there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
Good Morning! Looks like I got in early this time. Woo-hoo!
ITS FRIDAY.....Top 5
Even better, you’re in the TOP 4!
Life is good.
It took me a minute to find them in the Boston Tea Party picture.
As a faithful reader of the OFST, thanks for the weekly laughs. Since I start my vacation today, I have the opportunity to be in the top 5 and boy does it feel good! Merry Christmas everyone!
Make that top 10! I guess I was a bit too wordy in my premature acceptance of the top 5 award. I’ll learn......
MERRY CHRISTMAS FREEPERS!
As I approach my twilight years, I’m struck by the inevitability that, sooner or later, the party must end.
And one clear, cold morning after I’m gone, my spouse will awaken in the warmth of our bedroom and be struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there just isn’t “any more.” No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more “just one minute.”
Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, or say, “I love you.”
So while we have it, it’s best that we love it, care for it, fix it when it’s broken and heal it when it’s sick. This is true for marriage. And so, too, for old cars, children with bad report cards, dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents.
Some things we keep — like a best friend who moved away or a son-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.
We keep them because they are worth it, and because we are worth it. Life is important, like people we know who are special. And so, we keep them close.
Suppose one morning you never wake up.... Do all your friends know how you really feel? The important thing is to let every one of your friends know your true feelings, even if you think they don’t love you back.
So, just in case I’m gone tomorrow, please rest assured that I voted against that incompetent, lying Muslim and reggae-loving, perverted, disingenuous phony, bleeding heart, narcissistic, scientific and economic moron, socialist, and piece of shit Obama.
Phil Robertson was right after all....
Merry Christmas Lucky!
Love the “Can you spot Obama taking a selfie?” portion. I had to LOL at some of the pics..
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