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Total freakin' vanity. :)
Boy do I have a twisted mind. | Christmas Eve Day | By Laz A. Mataz

Posted on 12/24/2013 3:23:11 PM PST by Lazamataz

Where I work, Goodwill Enterprises does the janitorial work. The other day, two of the guys were eating lunch outside on the lawn, and one of them dropped some of his vegetables on the ground. I looked at them and said:

"Peas, on earth. Goodwill. Two men."


TOPICS: Humor
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A little holiday chuckle.
1 posted on 12/24/2013 3:23:11 PM PST by Lazamataz
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To: Lazamataz
Hog-tied man dressed as Santa found dead outside Russian home
2 posted on 12/24/2013 3:24:42 PM PST by Berlin_Freeper
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To: Lazamataz
The scary part is that you came up with it stone cold sober.

/johnny

3 posted on 12/24/2013 3:25:12 PM PST by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: Berlin_Freeper

LOL! I saw that. How... festive! :)


4 posted on 12/24/2013 3:25:25 PM PST by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Lazamataz

Merry Christmas chucklehead!
And BTW, eat your peas.....


5 posted on 12/24/2013 3:25:39 PM PST by caver (Obama: Home of the Whopper)
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To: JRandomFreeper

6 posted on 12/24/2013 3:26:03 PM PST by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Lazamataz

They had a sitcom about a family with an obsession for putting beef in a blender:

Boy, meat’s whirled.


7 posted on 12/24/2013 3:26:04 PM PST by struggle
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To: Lazamataz

Visualize whirled peas.


8 posted on 12/24/2013 3:26:08 PM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: Lazamataz

Grooooan....But it did give me a chuckle, lol.


9 posted on 12/24/2013 3:26:50 PM PST by berdie
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To: Lazamataz
Merry Christmas, Laz.

/johnny

10 posted on 12/24/2013 3:27:06 PM PST by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: struggle

LOL! I suppose I deserve that. :)


11 posted on 12/24/2013 3:27:10 PM PST by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Lazamataz

Very little...

Merry Christmas, Laz!


12 posted on 12/24/2013 3:27:44 PM PST by SauronOfMordor (Socialists want YOUR wealth redistributed, never THEIRS!)
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To: SauronOfMordor

And to you, sir. :)


13 posted on 12/24/2013 3:28:20 PM PST by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Lazamataz

lol


14 posted on 12/24/2013 3:28:24 PM PST by GeronL (Extra Large Cheesy Over-Stuffed Hobbit)
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To: JRandomFreeper

Johnny!!


15 posted on 12/24/2013 3:29:08 PM PST by Dog (Founding member of the Osama Bin Laden was alive the whole time club..)
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To: Lazamataz
A little holiday chuckle.

Very little, actually. Chucklississimo, at best. Or perhaps a nanochuckle. But Merry Christmas anyway, Laz.

16 posted on 12/24/2013 3:29:49 PM PST by Maceman (Just say "NO" to tyranny.)
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To: JRandomFreeper

Happy Festivus!


17 posted on 12/24/2013 3:30:27 PM PST by Dog (Founding member of the Osama Bin Laden was alive the whole time club..)
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To: Dog
Jim!!!

/johnny

18 posted on 12/24/2013 3:30:36 PM PST by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: Lazamataz
Hah! You really earned points with that one!

somewhere...

;-)

19 posted on 12/24/2013 3:31:23 PM PST by MV=PY (The Magic Question: Who's paying for it?)
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To: Dog; Jemian
Merry Christmas to you. This must be old home week.

/johnny

20 posted on 12/24/2013 3:31:43 PM PST by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: Dog

DOG! OMG! I haven’t seen you in a half a decade! Merry Christmas!


21 posted on 12/24/2013 3:32:03 PM PST by Lazamataz (Early 2009 to 7/21/2013 - RIP my little girl Cathy. You were the best cat ever. You will be missed.)
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To: Lazamataz

If you came up with such a nice quip on the fly, then you have a brilliant mind my FRiend :-)


22 posted on 12/24/2013 3:32:18 PM PST by Bobalu (The true secret to genius is in creativity, not in technical mechanics)
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To: Lazamataz

23 posted on 12/24/2013 3:32:48 PM PST by JoeProBono (SOME IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED;-{)
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To: Lazamataz

The 3 wise men were covered in ashs. Because they came from a far.


24 posted on 12/24/2013 3:32:50 PM PST by Conspiracy Guy (Did the ancients know they were ancients? Or did they see themselves as presents?)
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To: Lazamataz

Merry Christmas, you butthead! ;-)


25 posted on 12/24/2013 3:34:36 PM PST by usconservative (When The Ballot Box No Longer Counts, The Ammunition Box Does. (What's In Your Ammo Box?))
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To: Lazamataz

26 posted on 12/24/2013 3:34:39 PM PST by mountn man (The Pleasure You Get From Life Is Equal To The Attitude You Put Into It)
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To: mountn man

Visualizing Whirled Peas is pretty hard to do with all those green M&Ms in my face.....


27 posted on 12/24/2013 3:36:04 PM PST by Cyber Liberty (H.L. Mencken: "The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.")
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To: Lazamataz

Indeed! “Peas, on earth. Goodwill. Two men.”

Merry Christmas ...

Matthew 1:18-25

18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: After His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit.

19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly.

20 But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.

21 And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.”

22 So all this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet, saying:

23 “Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which is translated, “God with us.”

24 Then Joseph, being aroused from sleep, did as the angel of the Lord commanded him and took to him his wife,

25 and did not know her till she had brought forth her firstborn Son. And he called His name Jesus.

Luke 1:26-35

26 Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth,

27 to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary.

28 And having come in, the angel said to her, “Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!”

29 But when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and considered what manner of greeting this was.

30 Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.

31 And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name Jesus.

32 He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David.

33 And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end.”

34 Then Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I do not know a man?”

35 And the angel answered and said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you; therefore, also, that Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God.

Luke 2:4-20

4 Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David,;

5 to be registered with Mary, his betrothed wife, who was with child.

6 So it was, that while they were there, the days were completed for her to be delivered.

7 And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

8 Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night.

9 And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid.

10 Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.

11 For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.

12 And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.”

13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:

14 “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”

15 So it was, when the angels had gone away from them into heaven, that the shepherds said to one another, “Let us now go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us.”

16 And they came with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger.

17 Now when they had seen Him, they made widely known the saying which was told them concerning this Child.

18 And all those who heard it marveled at those things which were told them by the shepherds.

19 But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.

20 Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told them.

John 1:1-18

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

2 He was in the beginning with God.

3 All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.

4 In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.

5 And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.

6 There was a man sent from God, whose name was John.

7 This man came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all through him might believe.

8 He was not that Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light.

9 That was the true Light which gives light to every man coming into the world.

10 He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him.

11 He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him.

12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name:

13 who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.

15 John bore witness of Him and cried out, saying, “This was He of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me is preferred before me, for He was before me.’ “

16 And of His fullness we have all received, and grace for grace.

17 For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

18 No one has seen God at any time. The only begotten Son, who is in the bosom of the Father, He has declared Him.


28 posted on 12/24/2013 3:38:55 PM PST by Star Traveler (Remember to keep the Messiah of Israel in the One-World Government that we look forward to coming)
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To: Lazamataz
"A little holiday chuckle."

Um, thank you, I think....

(Happy Christmas, brother)

29 posted on 12/24/2013 3:43:33 PM PST by Psalm 73 ("Gentlemen, you can't fight in here - this is the War Room".)
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To: Dog; JRandomFreeper
Jim!! Johnny!!

Merry Christmas everyone.

30 posted on 12/24/2013 3:44:15 PM PST by lysie
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To: Lazamataz
little chuckle. ;-)

Merry Christmas, Laz.

31 posted on 12/24/2013 3:45:30 PM PST by lysie
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To: Lazamataz

LOL!!!


32 posted on 12/24/2013 3:45:39 PM PST by SkyDancer (Live your life in such a way that the Westboro church will want to picket your funeral.)
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To: Lazamataz
I don't get it. Where else would peas be but on gay Gaia?


33 posted on 12/24/2013 3:47:57 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: Lazamataz
You had to work for that laugh, but ya got one :)

Merry Christmas!

34 posted on 12/24/2013 3:50:18 PM PST by The Cajun (Sarah Palin, Mark Levin, Ted Cruz, Mike Lee, Louie Gohmert......Nuff said.)
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To: Lazamataz

35 posted on 12/24/2013 3:51:51 PM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: lysie

Merry Christmas...


36 posted on 12/24/2013 3:52:07 PM PST by Dog (Founding member of the Osama Bin Laden was alive the whole time club..)
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To: Lazamataz
Goes along with Amish Christmas lights:

 photo authcoid11723part2_zps201ff79b.jpg

Exactly

37 posted on 12/24/2013 3:56:22 PM PST by SkyDancer (Live your life in such a way that the Westboro church will want to picket your funeral.)
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To: Lazamataz

LOL. Good one.
Thanks for sharing that!
Merry CHRISTmas, FRbro!


38 posted on 12/24/2013 4:05:26 PM PST by MountainDad (Support your local Militia)
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To: The Cajun
Happy Festivus! Wait, something's not quite right about this.


39 posted on 12/24/2013 4:06:11 PM PST by deoetdoctrinae (Gun-free zones are playgrounds for felons.)
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To: deoetdoctrinae
Close enough, LOL!
40 posted on 12/24/2013 4:12:32 PM PST by The Cajun (Sarah Palin, Mark Levin, Ted Cruz, Mike Lee, Louie Gohmert......Nuff said.)
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To: Lazamataz

How I Meat Your Mother

http://community.seattletimes.nwsource.com/archive/?date=19910528&slug=1285840


41 posted on 12/24/2013 4:13:36 PM PST by carlo3b (Corrupt politicians make the other ten percent look bad.. Henry Kissinger)
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To: Dog; Lazamataz; All
Happy Festivus!

 photo grievances.jpg

42 posted on 12/24/2013 4:17:36 PM PST by don-o (don-o loves Mrs. Don-o)
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To: Lazamataz

HAHAHAHA!!! Merry Christmas, The Laz! :-)


43 posted on 12/24/2013 4:18:31 PM PST by WXRGina (The Founding Fathers would be shooting by now.)
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To: Lazamataz
Adding another patty to the humor pile, if you peas . . .


             

44 posted on 12/24/2013 4:19:28 PM PST by tomkat (ok, so it's ten years old, it's also free, so quit gripin')
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To: don-o

LOL!


45 posted on 12/24/2013 4:19:48 PM PST by Dog (Founding member of the Osama Bin Laden was alive the whole time club..)
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(prolly a class 2 felony in today's Amerika)
46 posted on 12/24/2013 4:21:21 PM PST by tomkat
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To: Lazamataz

Stop the violins.


47 posted on 12/24/2013 4:31:52 PM PST by PieterCasparzen (We have to fix things ourselves)
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To: Lazamataz
You are incorrigible. Don't change a thing.

Merry Christmas, Laz- and don't forget to eat your peace.

48 posted on 12/24/2013 4:34:55 PM PST by TADSLOS (The Event Horizon has come and gone. Buckle up and hang on.)
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To: JRandomFreeper; Lazamataz

How do you know Laz was sober?


49 posted on 12/24/2013 4:36:52 PM PST by Valpal1 (If the police can t solve a problem with brute force, they ll find a way to fix it with brute force)
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To: Lazamataz

Merry Christmas, Laz and all Freepers!


50 posted on 12/24/2013 4:39:41 PM PST by stilloftyhenight (call it ODemocratcare)
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