Skip to comments.13 reasons Santa Claus is definitely a conservative
Posted on 12/25/2013 10:25:08 AM PST by wastedyears
Ive been making a list and checking it twice, and although I cant tell you whos been naughty or nice, I can say that Santa Claus has all the hallmarks of being a conservative.
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And for those with an odd sense of humor:
If Santa were a liberal:
1) There would be no “naughty” or “nice” prerequisite, in fact the “naughty” would probably get more.
2) Those rejected by Santa would get a solar panel, not a lump of coal.
3) The elves would be multicultural. They’d also be unionized.
4) The gifts would all be non-violent, non-offensive and gender neutral.
5) Santa would not touch milk or cookies left under the tree unless they happened to be organic, gluten-free and pesticide-free. Anything with peanuts would be thrown out.
6) Santa would laugh differently after being informed that “Ho Ho Ho” was insensitive to Asians and African Americans.
7) Mrs. Claus would actually run the organization.
8) And, in the end, Santa would tax you for far more than what the gifts he left were worth.
Merry Christmas to you and everyone else at FR. I can just hear the meltdown commencing among liberals. Imagine the idea of Santa being a conservative.
I thought PJ O’Rourke said that God was Republican and Santa Claus was a Democrat?