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Duck Dynasty Sparks Christmas Dinner Food Fight in Westfield
Staff article ^ | 12/25/13 | Staff

Posted on 12/25/2013 12:31:51 PM PST by Rebelbase

12/25/13 3:15pm

(Westfield, NC) A Stokes County family's Christmas dinner erupted into a food fight that started over a disagreement about Duck Dynasty, the A&E channel's reality television show about the Robertson family.

The Watson family was at their home-place enjoying a large gathering of grand children, nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts and uncles. "Mamma does it right every year, the food is delicious" said family member Billy Watson; "It's the only time of the year when the entire family is able to gather for an afternoon".

The Duck Dynasty controversy came up in conversation at the table while the family was enjoying a meal of ham, turkey, roast, pork roast, country steak, sausage balls, BBQ, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, macaroni and cheese, fried jowls, fried corn, fried chicken livers, green beans, lima beans, beets, collards, cabbage, chow-chow, cranberries, biscuits, cornbread, Pepsi and iced tea.

"One of the nephews, Bobby Fulp, married a woman from Massachusetts and they live in Boston; She thinks mighty of herself and has one of those hyphenated last names", according to Betty-Sue Watson who is Billy's wife. She continued, "The duck show came up and we all thought Mr. Robertson didn't say anything hateful and thought it funny how worked up people were getting over truthful comments. Bobby's wife took offense and called us homophones. I said I guess the truth hurts, don't it? and she wouldn't look at me. I said it again and she still wouldn't look at me. That's when I flicked a piece of biscuit at her to get her attention and all hell broke loose".

"Food was flyin' everywhere. It was almost funny until Mamma got hit in the face with mashed potatoes and gravy. Everyone stopped and Mamma just sat there for a moment with gravy dripping off her glasses. She took off the glasses and her face squished up and we all knew it was coming, she busted out crying and all of us felt horrible for ruining the meal she worked so hard to prepare".

"For a large family, we all get along just fine, except for Bobby's wife. She thinks she's better than everyone else and has Bobby wrapped around so tight we all say he's cross-eyed".

The food fight almost sparked blows between Billy Watson and his cousin Bobby Fulp as Betty-Sue Watson relates, "Billy called Bobby's wife a Yankee bitch and Bobby got riled".

The two were separated by family members and things settled down enough for the family to enjoy deserts of banana pudding, apple pie, pecan pie, peach cobbler, blackberry cobbler, Jello, chocolate meringue pie, lemon meringue pie, brownies, coconut macaroons, cheesecake, red velvet cake, fruitcake, cookies, ice-cream, cinnamon rolls, Pepsi, coffee and iced tea.


TOPICS: Humor; Outdoors
KEYWORDS: humor; justdesserts; satire; yankeebitch
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Bound to happen somewhere. ;-)
1 posted on 12/25/2013 12:31:51 PM PST by Rebelbase
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To: RegulatorCountry

Sounds like Westfield doesn’t it?


2 posted on 12/25/2013 12:32:29 PM PST by Rebelbase (Tagline: optional, printed after your name on post)
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To: Rebelbase

HUMOR.

SATIRE.

MOST OF THE TIME.


3 posted on 12/25/2013 12:35:08 PM PST by Mrs. Don-o (Department of Redundancy Department.)
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To: Rebelbase

LOL. This story makes me hungry.


4 posted on 12/25/2013 12:36:23 PM PST by Kirkwood (Zombie Hunter)
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To: Rebelbase
...a Yankee bitch...

Here in Red England, it's hard to find one who isn't...

5 posted on 12/25/2013 12:38:01 PM PST by who knows what evil? (G-d saved more animals than people on the ark...www.siameserescue.org.)
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To: Rebelbase

well you trotted out what you thought were the stereo types of a southern Christmas meal…frankly I am offended beyond belief. Your food list is non authentic and ridiculous. Moreover you served Pepsi and iced tea… things that would never happen south of the Mason Dixon. What the heck is stuffing…if you don’t have enough sense to serve dressing you just don’t have enough sense. Plus you have suggested that these folks would willingly waste good food and that ain’t never gonna happen.

Merry Christmas anyway


6 posted on 12/25/2013 12:39:05 PM PST by Nifster
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To: Rebelbase
Well, at least the folks she's defending know how much poo they are going to have to go through to be gratified...

Three point five billion v*****s in the world, and he had to pick that one....

God bless 'em every one.

7 posted on 12/25/2013 12:40:33 PM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)
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To: Rebelbase

It just have looked something like this....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yF1dfXDsV4s


8 posted on 12/25/2013 12:42:32 PM PST by HerrBlucher (Praise to the Lord the Almighty the King of Creation)
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To: Nifster

Yeehaw yummy. Sweet tea is common, maybe that’s what is intended. And many folks would call a Pepsi a Coke.


9 posted on 12/25/2013 12:42:36 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (The Lion of Judah will roar again if you give him a big hug and a cheer and mean it. See my page.)
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To: Nifster

You obviously haven’t eaten a holiday meal in rural NC where it’s a several hour ordeal that you have to repeat 4 hours later at supper.


10 posted on 12/25/2013 12:42:46 PM PST by Rebelbase (Tagline: optional, printed after your name on post)
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To: Nifster

Oh, and I left off the Fried Okra, squash and oysters.


11 posted on 12/25/2013 12:43:24 PM PST by Rebelbase (Tagline: optional, printed after your name on post)
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To: Rebelbase

>> chow-chow <<

I’ll stand up proudly for a family that has no qualms about serving dog at a Christmas meal.

Fun read, thanks for posting, and Merry Christmas.


12 posted on 12/25/2013 12:43:42 PM PST by Nonsense Unlimited
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To: Rebelbase

Hand each one at the dinner a gun and a case of ammo so that they may put each other out of their pathetic lives’ miseries.


13 posted on 12/25/2013 12:44:06 PM PST by James C. Bennett (An Australian.)
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To: HiTech RedNeck

Exactly. Anyone from the rural south calls it tea. Outsiders call it sweet tea.


14 posted on 12/25/2013 12:44:37 PM PST by Rebelbase (Tagline: optional, printed after your name on post)
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To: Rebelbase
She thinks mighty of herself and has one of those hyphenated last names", according to Betty-Sue Watson...

Says Betty-Sue Watson with a hyphenated first name.

15 posted on 12/25/2013 12:47:13 PM PST by liege (America 180)
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To: liege

That there some good writing!


16 posted on 12/25/2013 12:48:40 PM PST by Rebelbase (Tagline: optional, printed after your name on post)
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To: Rebelbase
I said it again and she still wouldn't look at me. That's when I flicked a piece of biscuit at her to get her attention and all hell broke loose".

This is how a war starts.


17 posted on 12/25/2013 12:59:47 PM PST by canuck_conservative
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To: Rebelbase
Bobby's wife took offense and called us homophones.

Oh, the pain! (or is it pane?)

18 posted on 12/25/2013 1:00:02 PM PST by rockrr (Everything is different now...)
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To: Rebelbase

I don’t know those people, no, not at all.


19 posted on 12/25/2013 1:01:22 PM PST by Tax-chick ("Our infinite sadness can only be cured by an infinite love." ~Pope Francis)
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To: Rebelbase

Truthfully, southern ladies are pretty expert at taking control of a situation when a woman among them gets “hysterical”. They would never allow such embarrassing conduct to appear before the menfolk.

And, truth be told, no one is going to use the expression “Yankee” at the table, as that is the “n” word in large swaths of the South.


20 posted on 12/25/2013 1:09:52 PM PST by yefragetuwrabrumuy (Last Obamacare Promise: "If You Like Your Eternal Soul, You Can Keep It.")
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To: Nifster

There are folks in LA (Lower Alabama) who would prefer a Pepsi instead of a Coke. In any case that is one heck of a meal!


21 posted on 12/25/2013 1:13:52 PM PST by Red_Devil 232 (VietVet - USMC All Ready On The Right? All Ready On The Left? All Ready On The Firing Line!)
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To: Rebelbase

A fanciful tale.


22 posted on 12/25/2013 1:14:21 PM PST by TigersEye (Stupid is a Progressive disease.)
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To: Rebelbase

Nobody ever call me a homophone. Them thars fightin’ words! LOL! Funny stuff.


23 posted on 12/25/2013 1:20:15 PM PST by FlingWingFlyer (Merry Christmas to all my fellow Americans. "Whatever" to everybody else!)
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To: James C. Bennett
Hand each one at the dinner a gun and a case of ammo so that they may put each other out of their pathetic lives’ miseries.

Really mate??? Is that what you dingo drivers do?

Whatcha do id You kick the lefty wife out and if hubby leaves? Nice seein’ you again cuz

24 posted on 12/25/2013 1:32:45 PM PST by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.d)
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To: FlingWingFlyer

First, gay marriage. Now, they get their own phones. What next,
homocars?


25 posted on 12/25/2013 1:33:46 PM PST by Sivad (NorCal red turf)
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To: Rebelbase

Heck had to look up Westfield, NC. That’s right up there
in Andy Griffith territory, next door to Mount Airy.


26 posted on 12/25/2013 1:38:33 PM PST by deport
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To: Rebelbase

I would love to see Carol Burnette and Vicki her lookalike do this script as characters in Mama.


27 posted on 12/25/2013 1:40:49 PM PST by lee martell
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To: Rebelbase

“She thinks mighty of herself and has one of those hyphenated last names”, according to Betty-Sue Watson ...”

Love it!


28 posted on 12/25/2013 1:43:03 PM PST by EDINVA
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To: Rebelbase

All I got left to stuff in the cannon... Uhhh mouth is some small red potatoes, carrots and MSG and bones,, too much seasoning on the prime rib can make the poodles vomit,, trust me. :-)

What’s a pitmaster make these days, civil service and all?


29 posted on 12/25/2013 1:46:04 PM PST by NormsRevenge (Semper Fi)
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To: Rebelbase

Sad that this family gets together once a year and they discuss Duck Dynasty. Nothing more important going on in their lives to talk about during the hour or so dinner? SAD! I got my Brother in law Duck Dynasty stuff, by find zero need to discuss anything further about the show. Too many things about family to discuss.


30 posted on 12/25/2013 1:48:06 PM PST by napscoordinator ( Santorum-Bachmann 2016 for the future of the country!)
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To: Rebelbase

Stokes County

Nuff said

It really could be true..


31 posted on 12/25/2013 1:49:10 PM PST by AppyPappy (Obama: What did I not know and when did I not know it?)
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To: Rebelbase

I doubt this. Someone trying to make stereotypes fit to satisfy the caricatures. Of America outside of DC and Hollyweird.


32 posted on 12/25/2013 1:53:32 PM PST by Safetgiver ( Islam makes barbarism look genteel.)
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To: Rebelbase

I left off the Fried Okra, squash and oysters...That’s good.


33 posted on 12/25/2013 1:55:17 PM PST by Safetgiver ( Islam makes barbarism look genteel.)
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To: rockrr

‘called us homophones’

I had a pair of those once. I couldn’t get Madonna to play on them...


34 posted on 12/25/2013 2:03:10 PM PST by Delta Dawn (Fluent in two languages: English and cursive.)
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To: Rebelbase

The best answer I have found:

*****************************
First let me state that if you are a homosexual or engage in such behavior Jesus still loves you but dislikes your behavior and desires for you to change. And this applies to all sinners regardless of their specific sins.

In response to the claim that no specific sermon or story is found in Scripture that Jesus may have given about specific homosexual behavior, nor is the use of the word “homosexual” specifically found in scripture, an argument from silence would be incorrect.

The Bible does not record that Jesus ever mentioned rape, incest, pedophilia, or other blatant sins by name either. That Jesus does not mention them, does not imply that we should commit these offenses against God and each other.

Jesus is very clear on the proper marriage relationship as mentioned in Matthew 19:4-5:

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh”

Jesus was also very clear about the concept of sexual immorality being an evil thought from within one’s own heart in Mark 7:21:

“For from within, out of men’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery”

Additionally Jesus did not come to abolish the law but to fulfill it. While Jesus abolished the ceremonial laws of the Old Testament the moral laws of the Old Testament remain applicable.

The Bible also contains specific references to sexual immorality. Here are some examples in fact in the OT that were so serious it was a capital offence.

Leviticus 18:22 ‘Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.

Leviticus 20:13 “ ‘If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

I Cor 6:9-10 “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God”

Jude 1:7 “In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire”

In fact there are at least 9 specific references in the Bible (at least 4 in the OT and 5 in the NT about homosexuality and none are in support of it.

If God the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are all God, and as God never changes, therefore God never condones homosexual behavior, or any sin. It is simply that logical. Even though Jesus did not specifically mention it by name while he walked on this earth, it is still a sin.

Source(s):
biblegateway.com
Strongs Exhustive Concordance
Gill’s Concordance
*****************************

Remark:
Homosexuals try to erase their sin and claim that Jesus does not condemn their lifestyle. When challenged, they counter that Jesus never mentions homosexuality as a sin, therefore what they do is somehow not immoral. When confronted with logic and facts, homosexuals plead as victims claiming the willful failure of society to accept them is hypocritical, because heterosexuals also commit sexual acts that are deemed sinful and immoral.

That heterosexuals also sin is true. The difference is that heterosexuals are not trying to destroy the precepts of the Church, or are trying to put people out of work or close their businesses because people react against homosexual sin in a manner that is felt to be offensive by homosexuals.

A non-sexual example would be when an alcoholic appears drunk inside a Church. A priest may love the person who is drunk and be heartbroken to see his condition, but refuses to reverse views of such gluttony as anything but sinful.

It does not follow that drunks should be allowed to force the Church or its Priest through legal action to accept drunkenness as a lifestyle, or to bar its members from calling them out as ‘alcoholics’ or ‘drunkards’.

Sin is sin, The Church exists to help the sinner become aware of the sin and how to deal with it.

All people are born in sin and through thought or deed have committed sin. There is no way to avoid it. Because of this, Churches are not perfect as they are conducted by people who are inherently sinful. But the Church is a place where people can try and do better, to be less sinful and strive to be sin-free. But first they must acknowledge their sin.

For the wedding florist in Washington State who could not in good conscience create a floral arrangement for a homosexual ‘wedding’, her reasoning was that each floral arrangement was a creation of the heart and that her religious conviction was harmed knowing her creation would be used in perverted sin. And yet a prosecutor gave her notice that if she did not comply with ordinances regarding same-sex weddings, that she would be fined $1000 per day and subject to imprisonment. Thus, she was called to abet the sin.

Make no mistake, this matter of homosexuality in our day is ultimately, as it has always been intended, an attack on the Church.


35 posted on 12/25/2013 2:15:41 PM PST by Hostage (ARTICLE V)
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To: Rebelbase
Yea, it's all fun and games til the biscuit flicking’ starts!
36 posted on 12/25/2013 2:27:28 PM PST by Col Freeper (FR: A smorgasbord of Conservative Mindfood - dig in and enjoy it!)
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To: Nifster

Thank you. Cabbage, cornbread, and biscuits? At Christmas dinner? No sir and no ma’am.


37 posted on 12/25/2013 2:27:56 PM PST by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males----the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization.))
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To: Rebelbase
Now, that right there is some funny stuff.

As a yankee (aspiring to be a “damn yankee”) I like “tea, unsweet” ‘cause sweet tea is too sweet for me. F’get pepsi — I'm allergic to the stuff. At least I was the last time I had one in ‘64 and barfed it up in the Pepsi pavilion's moat at the world's fair.

As for the “womyn” from Massachusetts — I've had them yell at me for holding the door. Not a lot, but enough to disgust.

Thanks for the laughs on Christmas day.

38 posted on 12/25/2013 2:28:21 PM PST by Peet (Oderint dum metuant)
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To: HiTech RedNeck

maybe a cola or a pop but never would a southerner confuse Pepsi and Coke.

And sweet tea is never intended or implied…. it is always spoken


39 posted on 12/25/2013 2:49:14 PM PST by Nifster
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To: Rebelbase

oh yes I have my complaint is not about the size of the meal it was about specifics. If you are going to try satire it must be accurate and not a yankee’s version of what they think is correct


40 posted on 12/25/2013 2:50:23 PM PST by Nifster
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To: CatherineofAragon

exactly


41 posted on 12/25/2013 2:51:07 PM PST by Nifster
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To: Nifster

The entire components of the story setting are drawn from my experience with one close family in NC and every item on the menu is present within consecutive Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s meals.

Betty-Sue cuts my hair.

Why are you so incredulous of redneck country life in the South?


42 posted on 12/25/2013 3:14:02 PM PST by Rebelbase (Tagline: optional, printed after your name on post)
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To: Rebelbase

since I am one of those rednecks that you like to poke fun at, you should check yourself before making claims you can’t back


43 posted on 12/25/2013 3:17:56 PM PST by Nifster
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To: Rebelbase
Betty-Sue cuts my hair.

You should try my Jamie.

44 posted on 12/25/2013 3:21:48 PM PST by Tax-chick ("Our infinite sadness can only be cured by an infinite love." ~Pope Francis)
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To: Nifster

Noting worse than a sensitive redneck.


45 posted on 12/25/2013 3:46:32 PM PST by Rebelbase (Tagline: optional, printed after your name on post)
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To: Rebelbase

46 posted on 12/25/2013 3:47:39 PM PST by dfwgator
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To: Col Freeper

You betcha,

You go flingin carrot or spargas spears, you could POKE SOMEONES EYE OUT!

(Its all fun n games till some one loses an eye!)

I KNOW I’m a redneck, I cook my sausage n eggs breakfast on the grill outback.


47 posted on 12/25/2013 5:32:59 PM PST by ConradofMontferrat ( According to mudslimz, my handle is a HATE CRIME. And I HOPE they don't like it.)
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To: Rebelbase

yeah well I guess Appalachia ain’t rural enough for you


48 posted on 12/25/2013 6:37:32 PM PST by Nifster
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To: yefragetuwrabrumuy

well said


49 posted on 12/25/2013 6:38:36 PM PST by Nifster
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To: Rebelbase

Very funny story. Thanks! I grew up further south than most of the “south” through the ‘60s and into the ‘70s (but nowhere near NC). And yes, back there and then, in 100 degree temperatures with around 100% humidity, we simply said “tea” (nearly always large, glass glasses of instant tea with sugar and much ice). The home cooking for some holidays was huge, but we would never consider throwing food or uttering any vulgarity. And the word, yankee, was mentioned in books about the Civil War—very rarely by any person (except teachers, reading aloud to classes, and television sets). “Snow bird” was heard from real people upon rare occasion.


50 posted on 12/25/2013 8:40:51 PM PST by familyop
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