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SC woman stabs husband with ceramic squirrel over lack of beer, police say
WCBD News 13 ^ | December 27, 2013 | Staff

Posted on 12/30/2013 6:20:46 AM PST by LucianOfSamasota

NORTH CHARLESTON, SC -

A North Charleston woman is in jail after police say she stabbed her husband with a ceramic squirrel.

According to the police report, Helen Ann Williams attacked her husband on Christmas Day after he failed to bring beer back to the house.

Police said they were dispatched to the home and found the victim with a large amount of blood on his face.

When police asked Williams what happened to her husband, she first said that he fell and cut himself, but then told officers more.

Williams said her common-law spouse went to a store to find beer, but they store was closed. When he returned home and began making a sandwich, Williams allegedly took a ceramic squirrel and stabbed him in his shoulder and chest.

(Excerpt) Read more at wbtw.com ...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: beer; squirrel; squirrels
You can't make this stuff up!

In a related story, Sen. Diane Feinstein (D-Cal) has proposed a nationwide ban on ceramic squirrels, receiving wide support from such groups as PETA, NAMBLA, and Idiot Al Franken (D-Wherever). Cindy Sheehan has formed a home for abused ceramic wildlife, and is accepting the largest donations you can send.

1 posted on 12/30/2013 6:20:46 AM PST by LucianOfSamasota
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To: LucianOfSamasota

Now that’s something you don’t see every day.


2 posted on 12/30/2013 6:22:02 AM PST by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: LucianOfSamasota

3 posted on 12/30/2013 6:22:54 AM PST by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: LucianOfSamasota

Er, this sounds like an excess of beer, not a lack.


4 posted on 12/30/2013 6:23:25 AM PST by proxy_user
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To: LucianOfSamasota

Normally this type of violence is reserved for McDonalds and chicken nuggets related issues.

Outside of that and Chucky Cheese, this is deplorable behavior.


5 posted on 12/30/2013 6:24:08 AM PST by TurboZamboni ("PEACE ON EARTH TO MEN OF GOOD WILL".)
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To: TurboZamboni

But perfectly expected and accepted behavior INSIDE Chuck E Cheese.


6 posted on 12/30/2013 6:25:17 AM PST by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: LucianOfSamasota

It is time to ban high capacity ceramic squirrels.


7 posted on 12/30/2013 6:27:34 AM PST by VRW Conspirator ( 2+2 = V)
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To: MrB

Somewhere there is a joke there about squirrels and nuts...


8 posted on 12/30/2013 6:27:47 AM PST by kjam22 (my newest music video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7gNI9bWO3s)
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To: proxy_user
Yup!


9 posted on 12/30/2013 6:28:00 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: LucianOfSamasota

Next thing you know some body gonna say, “hold my beer and watch this”.


10 posted on 12/30/2013 6:28:47 AM PST by Duckdog (If it wasn't for NASCAR my TV would have gone out the window years ago!)
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To: LucianOfSamasota

So they were out of beer. What I can’t understand is why they didn’t go into their well stocked wine cellar (which I am certain these folks have) and get a nice expensive French variety from the 1950’s.
They could have enjoyed that with a nice American Brie cheese.


11 posted on 12/30/2013 6:29:07 AM PST by HereInTheHeartland (Obama lied; our healthcare died.)
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To: LucianOfSamasota; TurboZamboni

A perfect example of the continuing relevance of Rule#17 of Mrs. Don’s Spousal Charter of Domestic Peace: always keep extra beer in the basement.


12 posted on 12/30/2013 6:29:10 AM PST by Mrs. Don-o (When all is said and done, a good deal more is said than done.)
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To: HereInTheHeartland

I’m pretty sure the squirrel is to blame.

Rogue rodent!


13 posted on 12/30/2013 6:30:47 AM PST by LucianOfSamasota (Tanstaafl - its not just for breakfast anymore...)
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To: BenLurkin

Not nearly as pretty as the head on MY beer!


14 posted on 12/30/2013 6:32:40 AM PST by equaviator (There's nothing like the universe to bring you down to earth.)
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To: HereInTheHeartland

>> What I can’t understand is why they didn’t go into their well stocked wine cellar

Hey, knock it off with the sarcastic “class warfare” already.

Besides, there’s no place to PUT a wine cellar in a singlewide trailer. :-)


15 posted on 12/30/2013 6:33:33 AM PST by Nervous Tick (Without GOD, men get what they deserve.)
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To: LucianOfSamasota

I’m picturing the police evidence locker; lined up with the sawed off shotguns, knives, crow bars and the like... a ceramic squirrel.


16 posted on 12/30/2013 6:33:56 AM PST by Flick Lives (Got a problem with the government? Have a complaint. Get a free IRS audit!)
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To: BenLurkin

GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!


17 posted on 12/30/2013 6:36:30 AM PST by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: Nervous Tick
Besides, there’s no place to PUT a wine cellar in a singlewide trailer. :-)

Isn't the "wine cellar" in a trailer where Old Blue sleeps?

18 posted on 12/30/2013 6:38:25 AM PST by Flick Lives (Got a problem with the government? Have a complaint. Get a free IRS audit!)
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To: LucianOfSamasota

She probably also ran out of her stock of white lightning.


19 posted on 12/30/2013 6:38:36 AM PST by AU72
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To: HereInTheHeartland

What about a mason jar of ‘shine?


20 posted on 12/30/2013 6:41:54 AM PST by Calvin Locke
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To: LucianOfSamasota
Now Here's something you'll really like!


21 posted on 12/30/2013 6:50:51 AM PST by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.)
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To: FreedomPoster
He needs to replace her with the Dewar's cougar...

22 posted on 12/30/2013 6:53:17 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: LucianOfSamasota

I didn’t know that a ceramic squirrel could “go off” like that!


23 posted on 12/30/2013 6:54:06 AM PST by Ditter
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To: BenLurkin

I’d hit it.... with a ceramic squirrel!


24 posted on 12/30/2013 6:55:36 AM PST by Pearls Before Swine
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To: LucianOfSamasota

Oh, look! A squirrel!


25 posted on 12/30/2013 6:57:06 AM PST by Standing Wolf (No tyrant should ever be allowed to die of natural causes.)
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To: Calvin Locke

I also just realized why he may not have been able to get the beer.
The new line of the high end BMW’s (over $125,000 price) have a recall that was just issued. The cars evidently have intermittent fuel pump issues. That may explain why he got to gourmet beer store after it closed.


26 posted on 12/30/2013 6:57:08 AM PST by HereInTheHeartland (Obama lied; our healthcare died.)
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To: 2nd amendment mama

Ping!—in case you hadn’t heard—LOL!


27 posted on 12/30/2013 7:09:19 AM PST by basil (2ASisters.org)
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To: LucianOfSamasota

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/3105977/posts


28 posted on 12/30/2013 7:13:26 AM PST by ~Pandora
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To: LucianOfSamasota

Eugenics has a bad name, but...


29 posted on 12/30/2013 7:30:00 AM PST by Born to Conserve
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To: LucianOfSamasota

So sick of the push to normalize shacking up. Notice the headline calls her shack-up her husband.

That said, can’t say I blame her. If we ran out of beer, I would stab my (actual, legal) husband with a real squirrel.


30 posted on 12/30/2013 7:36:04 AM PST by Bigg Red (Let the lying lips be dumb, which speak insolently against the righteous in pride and contempt.--Ps3)
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To: LucianOfSamasota

"What happens in South Carolina, stays in South Carolina."


31 posted on 12/30/2013 7:36:56 AM PST by Jeff Chandler (Obamacare: You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.)
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To: LucianOfSamasota

The concrete moose was too heavy.


32 posted on 12/30/2013 8:24:59 AM PST by No Whey Jose (What's a tagline?)
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To: LucianOfSamasota
The Day The Squirrel Went Berserk
33 posted on 12/30/2013 8:41:09 AM PST by Bratch
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To: LucianOfSamasota
She's nuts and her story is squirrely.
34 posted on 12/30/2013 8:41:34 AM PST by bgill
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To: FreedomPoster

“GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!”

And,,,, nuttier than squirrel poop!


35 posted on 12/30/2013 8:56:04 AM PST by Dr. Bogus Pachysandra ( Ya can't pick up a turd by the clean end!)
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To: LucianOfSamasota

What do you MEAN you FORGOT the little ceramic squirrl? I SPECIFICALLY TOLD you not to forget it! That’s where I keep my lucky beer opener!


36 posted on 12/30/2013 9:17:44 AM PST by catnipman (Cat Nipman: Vote Republican in 2012 and only be called racist one more time!)
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To: LucianOfSamasota

There is a comic epitaph in there someplace waiting to be written. Imagine that tombstone!


37 posted on 12/30/2013 9:32:31 AM PST by TexasRepublic (Socialism is the gospel of envy and the religion of thieves)
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