I broke my back wne I was four (not paralyzed, thank G-d) and it’s been a hard road.
For me there have always been just three things that have set me on edge.
1) Pain. Chronic, horrible pain. If that’s under control, my life is livable.
2) Feeling like a burden. Like I’m not pulling my own weight. Like the people I love would be better off without me. (They’ve made it very clear that this is not the case.) So I give as much as I can and try very hard to (at least!) be a kind, supportive person.
3) Feeling like I’m useless. A person needs a purpose. So I’ve started writing. That’s something I can do. As long as I’m working toward something, I’ve got something to live for.
I have no idea what condition your wife is in, but it sounds like ‘she’ is very aware. We all need to have a purpose.
Please check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joni_Eareckson_Tada
Paralyzed from the neck down, she writes, paints, and has a ministry.
With today’s technology, people can paint with only their eyes. http://gizmodo.com/5403741/eyewriter-allows-man-to-paint-despite-paralysis
If she’s in too much pain, she needs a new doctor and stronger meds.
I’m still struggling, but I’m happy (for the most part). Even happier now that I have a real hobby. Hubby’s happy that I’m happy and productive.
(If you ever want to talk, I’m here)
It is so odd that we have gone from a society that lauds the story of Helen Keller, yet would condemn her to death or nothingness today. I thank the Lord for my Great-great Grandmother... when my Grandmother was born, very badly deformed by the breach birth and not able to breast feed... the doctor said he could do nothing and the child would die. My GG Grandmother worked on her limbs and fed her by hand and she began to thrive and live. My Grandmother had four children of her own and I am the child of her oldest son. Had this farm woman who cared so much to nurse this child not done so, many generations would have never existed in our family. She knew she could nurse this child as she would nurse any newly born calf or lamb who would need the same.... She also had great faith that God would help her through. There was a time when we had faith and now we only worship authority and those who call themselves educated and qualified to make these decisions... I call them educated IDIOTS... learned that from my Dad... he was right.