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Never Use the Self Cleaning After Five Years
self | 1/8/14 | self

Posted on 01/08/2014 12:26:39 PM PST by Little Bill

Suffering from zero weather conditions, lack of activity, and boredom, I decided to use the self cleaning feature on my gas range.

Now, my mother wasted a lot of money educating me in various fields that involved burning things, and people actually paid me a lot of money to help them do it correctly.

So I removed the internals of my oven and pushed the button marked CLEAN.

So I sat back and grabbed a brew to help me get through the cleaning time.

After the stove warmed up the smoke came billowing out, lots of smoke. So I opened all the windows and most of the doors, even broke out a couple of fans, to get rid of the acrid smoke.

The temperature of the house went down to meet the 10 degrees out side when the smoke finally went away.

I learned a lesson from this experiment, never hit the clean button buy a new stove.


TOPICS: Food; Humor
KEYWORDS: selfcleaningoven; stupidity
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More smoke than my from Smoker full of ribs.
1 posted on 01/08/2014 12:26:40 PM PST by Little Bill
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To: Little Bill

The operative fact is that you waited for the coldest temps in 25 years to experiment. I understand, cabin fever . . . but that’s what the beer is for . . . .


2 posted on 01/08/2014 12:28:19 PM PST by 1rudeboy
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To: Little Bill
I learned a lesson from this experiment, never hit the clean button buy a new stove.

Or just clean it more than once a decade.
3 posted on 01/08/2014 12:28:41 PM PST by ZX12R (Never forget the heroes of Benghazi, who were abandoned to their deaths by Obama)
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To: Little Bill

What a dolt. If you clean your over more than once every FIVE years would give you better results.


4 posted on 01/08/2014 12:28:55 PM PST by Nifster
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To: Little Bill

Ovens don’t clean themselves. That’s why we need immigration reform.

(this message from your US Chamber of Commerce)


5 posted on 01/08/2014 12:30:00 PM PST by Buckeye McFrog
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To: Little Bill
You have to scrape all loose stuff first. And there is usually a locking handle to prevent you from opening the door.

this was user error. The clean function turns everything to a grey ash easily wiped out. It is a great function.

6 posted on 01/08/2014 12:31:19 PM PST by FatherofFive (Islam is evil and must be eradicated)
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To: Buckeye McFrog

What’s an oven?


7 posted on 01/08/2014 12:31:57 PM PST by Zuben Elgenubi (NOPe to GOPe)
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To: Nifster

I am a guy what do I know about stoves? My daughter who has three degrees including one from a culinary school didn’t warn me of the dangers of cleaning a stove.


8 posted on 01/08/2014 12:34:46 PM PST by Little Bill
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To: Buckeye McFrog; Little Bill
Ovens don’t clean themselves. That’s why we need immigration reform.

Just doing the jobs that Americans won't do!

9 posted on 01/08/2014 12:34:52 PM PST by Alex Murphy ("the defacto Leader of the FR Calvinist Protestant Brigades")
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To: Zuben Elgenubi
"What is an oven?"

After you run out of canned food, you have to mix "ingredients" together and put them in an oven to become food. If you need a better explanation, you are going to have to talk to a woman.

10 posted on 01/08/2014 12:36:41 PM PST by fini
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To: Little Bill

It’s a good idea to clean the oven regularly. Also, not to do it on a really cold day, just in case you get some smoke during the last stage of the cleaning.

After waiting ten years, you probably had about half an inch of fat and burnt stuff layered all over the inside. I don’t know, because I’ve never seen an oven that went that long without cleaning.

The self cleaners are good for finishing the job, but I’d use an oven cleaner first, wait for it to work, and then swab it out, before running the auto-cleaner.


11 posted on 01/08/2014 12:37:11 PM PST by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: Little Bill

The ‘clean’ feature is often an auto-destruct button on many stoves. It raises the oven temp to over 600F for several hours and locks the door.

You need to get in there with EZ-Off and put in some elbow grease instead.


12 posted on 01/08/2014 12:37:56 PM PST by The KG9 Kid
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To: Little Bill

hahahahaha!

I didn’t fare much better. I don’t use the self cleaning on my oven because when I did, it took a couple of days of fooling with it for it to finally unlatch. The latch release button was useless.

I keep a sheet of foil under the bottom element and change the foil out every month or so and if anything gets on the sides I just clean it the old fashioned way.

Pffft on it!


13 posted on 01/08/2014 12:40:02 PM PST by Irenic (The pencil sharpener and Elmer's glue is put away-- we've lost the red wheel barrow)
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To: Little Bill

Pssst, did you read the user manual first?

Or is it, 5 years later, I am too lazy to find the original user manual?


14 posted on 01/08/2014 12:40:30 PM PST by Sir Napsalot (Pravda + Useful Idiots = CCCP; JournOList + Useful Idiots = DopeyChangey!)
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To: Little Bill

Next time you clean your oven throw in the grill on the BBQ pit,cleans those also.Glad you survived,and the beer stayed cold.I don’t see a problem.


15 posted on 01/08/2014 12:43:50 PM PST by silentreignofheroes
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To: Little Bill

What a day! You learned something new!

Or.....”here, hold my beer....”

They’re both good explanations!


16 posted on 01/08/2014 12:44:03 PM PST by If You Want It Fixed - Fix It
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To: Zuben Elgenubi

An oven is a very hand tool for those don’t own a press, that for some reason is typically positioned in the kitchen. Sure makes installing fresh out of the freezer bearings a piece of cake after the bearing housing has simmer for 350 for 20 minutes.


17 posted on 01/08/2014 12:45:05 PM PST by WinMod70
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To: Little Bill

ps: word to wise, it is also a good idea not to try putting eggs into the microwave


18 posted on 01/08/2014 12:45:39 PM PST by faithhopecharity (no)
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To: Little Bill

I am a guy what do I know about stoves? My daughter who has three degrees including one from a culinary school didn’t warn me of the dangers of cleaning a stove.

<><><><

2 very separate issues.

Your daughter paid you back for the times you embarrassed her growing up. Nothing to do with her 3 degrees. She got you good.

As for the oven (and I’m also a guy, btw), RTFM.


19 posted on 01/08/2014 12:47:16 PM PST by dmz
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To: Zuben Elgenubi
What’s an oven?

I'm with you. If you can't get it from McDonald's or microwave it, it's not food.

20 posted on 01/08/2014 12:47:17 PM PST by elkfersupper
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To: Cicero
Five years, I mostly bake bread though some of it has a rather high fat content.

I never saw my Ma clean an oven nor my Grand Ma's, but then Old Ma was an Executive Secretary for a large Corporation and was Irish to boot and God as my witness they cannot cook, my Daughter in Law is one of those.

21 posted on 01/08/2014 12:47:30 PM PST by Little Bill
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To: Little Bill

Hehe. I cleaned mine after six years, just a couple months ago. Dang that oven was clean! After a few hours with the windows open, I was one happy homeowner.


22 posted on 01/08/2014 12:48:21 PM PST by andyk (I have sworn...eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.)
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To: Sir Napsalot

Or is it, 5 years later, I am too lazy to find the original user manual?

<><><><

they’re also available on the web.


23 posted on 01/08/2014 12:48:50 PM PST by dmz
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To: Alex Murphy

Now, a self cleaning oven, doing the jobs Americans won’t do. That right there is funny. :)


24 posted on 01/08/2014 12:49:48 PM PST by andyk (I have sworn...eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.)
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To: Little Bill

“Hey, let’s try THIS on the coldest day of the year!”

Bored? Take up whittling.

(all in good fun bill)


25 posted on 01/08/2014 12:50:54 PM PST by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: 1rudeboy
The operative fact is that you waited for the coldest temps in 25 years to experiment.

I have no experience with self-cleaning ovens but my rule during extreme cold spells (or hot spells - 110+) is TAKE NO RISKS AT ALL!

26 posted on 01/08/2014 12:51:42 PM PST by steve86 (Some things aren't really true but you wouldn't be half surprised if they were.)
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To: Little Bill

Pour some vinegar on the end of towel. Grab the dry end of the towel and spin it like you’re going to rope a calf. This will help to get rid of the smokey smell.


27 posted on 01/08/2014 12:55:27 PM PST by Moonman62 (The US has become a government with a country, rather than a country with a government.)
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To: dmz
There might be something to that, might be payback for teaching her mental math. Here is a number add it to this number and so on. Then again it might be her Polock Blood they can be stubborn.
28 posted on 01/08/2014 12:58:00 PM PST by Little Bill
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To: 1rudeboy

“The operative fact is that you waited for the coldest temps in 25 years to experiment. I understand, cabin fever . . . but that’s what the beer is for . . . .”

Most astute analysis, LOL.


29 posted on 01/08/2014 1:00:00 PM PST by Attention Surplus Disorder (At no time was the Obama administration aware of what the Obama administration was doing)
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To: Little Bill

Much depends on the ladies. My wife is a cleaning fanatic.


30 posted on 01/08/2014 1:01:21 PM PST by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: Cicero

My Dear ex couldn’t use a dish washer.


31 posted on 01/08/2014 1:05:02 PM PST by Little Bill
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To: Sir Napsalot
"Pssst, did you read the user manual first? Or is it, 5 years later, I am too lazy to find the original user manual?"

I burt up in the drawer under the stove when he cleaned it

32 posted on 01/08/2014 1:11:13 PM PST by al baby (Hi MomÂ… I was refereeing to Obama)
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To: Little Bill

I have never cleaned an oven in my life!!! LOLOL


33 posted on 01/08/2014 1:13:44 PM PST by siamesecats (God closes one door, and opens another, to protect us.)
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To: Little Bill

Oven clean cycles scare me more than vacuum cleaners.


34 posted on 01/08/2014 1:14:29 PM PST by Born to Conserve
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To: Little Bill
If you're a single guy, cleaning the oven after 5 years should finally get rid of the factory coating and some dust, plus if you have mice in the house, it may get rid of old mouse corpses and nests in the stove and surrounding metal too.
Oh and DO be certain you remove your hidden guns and ammo before you hit clean. Just sayin'.

35 posted on 01/08/2014 1:15:55 PM PST by BitWielder1 (Corporate Profits are better than Government Waste)
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To: FatherofFive

“...this was user error.”

Not as bad as my brother-in-laws though. Bought a new stove, put a pizza in to try it out. Somehow put it on clean. And it has a “safety” lock bar on the thing so you can’t open it while it is cleaning. Four hours later his pizza was “done”. It did not ruin the stove though!


36 posted on 01/08/2014 1:18:27 PM PST by 21twelve (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2185147/posts 2013 is 1933 REBORN)
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To: Little Bill
Perhaps you should clean it a little more often? Clean it in warmer weather when it works to have the windows open for some hours.

We recently (tried to) broil some steaks in the oven. Nice little filets from Omaha Steaks, a Christmas gift. FLAMES AND FIRE. Maybe due to the bacon wrap? Too close to the broiler?

My daughter wanted to use the fire extinguisher on them, and I said, NO WAY, not wanting to sacrifice the steaks. They ended up fine, and the smoke odors were pretty well cleared out of the house after 3 or 4 days.

Back when my first husband and I moved out of our first apartment in 1981 after 3 years, the landlord came and inspected everything, checked the oven. He was a proud Asian immigrant, probably quite successful with his few small apartment buildings. He said, “I no give you back the whole damage deposit. I keep $5 because you no clean the oven”. I remember thinking DEAL, could barely buy a can of oven cleaner for the $5, and this was before the self-cleaning type.

37 posted on 01/08/2014 1:18:48 PM PST by NEMDF
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To: BitWielder1
be certain you remove your hidden guns and ammo before you hit clean. Just sayin’.

Lost those in a boating accident in the lake down the street.

38 posted on 01/08/2014 1:19:39 PM PST by Little Bill
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To: Moonman62

BEST POST OF THE DAY


39 posted on 01/08/2014 1:22:15 PM PST by NEMDF
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To: Moonman62
. . . spin it like you’re going to rope a calf.

What happens if you spin it like you're going to rope a midget?

40 posted on 01/08/2014 1:25:46 PM PST by Fester Chugabrew
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To: Little Bill

And, kids, never put a model car into a slightly warm oven to dry the paint if your mom is about to make a cake..


41 posted on 01/08/2014 1:26:08 PM PST by loungitude (The truth hurts.)
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To: Little Bill
My daughter who has three degrees including one from a culinary school didn’t warn me of the dangers of cleaning a stove.

Would you expect her to warn you of the dangers of driving a car that sat in your yard for 5 years? Would she have to? Would there be some basic steps you could take to ensure a safe ride?

But, I get the humor...and can laugh...because I have been there myself.


42 posted on 01/08/2014 1:28:16 PM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts ("Gun horror is not a productive emotion, it's learned helplessness disguised as moral superiority.")
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To: loungitude

I got our “used” stove to use for curing powder coat paint. My wife was cunning at getting new kitchen stuff, LOL.


43 posted on 01/08/2014 1:28:46 PM PST by nascarnation (I'm hiring Jack Palladino to investigate Baraq's golf scores.)
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To: Little Bill

We have a very high output oven - gas - and make really great pizza several times a week.

The oven, with a large pizza stone in it, preheats at 500F for almost an hour.

We don’t have much buildup of ook in there.

Our old oven - we did the self-clean thing - - - once.


44 posted on 01/08/2014 1:35:30 PM PST by BBB333 (Q: Which is grammatically correct? Joe Biden IS or Joe Biden ARE an idiot?)
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To: Sir Napsalot
Pssst, did you read the user manual first?

Or is it, 5 years later, I am too lazy to find the original user manual?

Hey, he's a guy. A. He's not going to read the directions. B. Even if he did, he's not going to follow them. C. He's got a better way of doing it anyway.;)

It's what makes all men unique and demonstrate ingenuity . It also occasionally drives their women crazy.;p

45 posted on 01/08/2014 1:38:09 PM PST by 444Flyer (How long O LORD?)
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To: NEMDF

Up here in the Semi Free State of NH we Broil our Steaks on the front porch even in the midst of winter or pan fry them in olive oil and butter and serve with fried Onions and Mushrooms and a side.


46 posted on 01/08/2014 1:39:33 PM PST by Little Bill
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To: Little Bill

My oven has a ‘lock’ setting that has to be engaged before the self clean should proceed. Tried it once w/o the lock on. Smoked up the house pretty darned good. Next time with lock, no smoke.

YMMV.


47 posted on 01/08/2014 1:40:08 PM PST by Black Agnes
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To: WinMod70
An oven is a very hand tool for those don’t own a press, that for some reason is typically positioned in the kitchen. Sure makes installing fresh out of the freezer bearings a piece of cake after the bearing housing has simmer for 350 for 20 minutes.

Funny, but that was the first thing I thought of while reading the post. My mother in law almost had a heart attack when she opened my oven and found the cylinder head for the racing bike I was building. I wasn't cooking it, but the shelf space was needed.

You know how it is.

48 posted on 01/08/2014 1:42:37 PM PST by Wingy
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To: nascarnation

One time my wife-to-be came over and saw eight big-block pistons in the dishwasher. She said once we live together, no more car parts in the dishwasher!


49 posted on 01/08/2014 1:46:02 PM PST by loungitude (The truth hurts.)
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To: NEMDF

I thought it said “gets rid of the monkey smell”.

I need new glasses.


50 posted on 01/08/2014 1:46:52 PM PST by Yehuda (Pres Obortion, Sen.McAnus, Hillary Abedin Clinton all kiss the *ss of the muslim brotherhood. A)
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