Second Giant Sea Creature Washes Ashore -Alarms Sound Over Radioactive Gigantism

The Lightly Braised Turnip ^ | Jan 9, 2014 | Butch Witt

[diverteach]

For the second time in recent months, a giant sea creature has washed ashore in California. First it was a rare oarfish that had grown to a freakish 100-foot length. This time it was a giant squid measuring a whopping 160 feet from head to tentacle tip.

These giants look different but experts believe they share one important commonality: they both come from the waters near the Fukushima Dai-ichi Nuclear Power Plant in the Futaba District of Japan.

Scientists believe that following the 2011 disaster at the Fukushima Dai-ichi Nuclear Power Plant an unknown number of sea creatures suffered genetic mutations that triggered uncontrolled growth – or “radioactive gigantism.”

[diverteach]

In other news Japanese officials have banned the import and possession of any and all iguanas including pets. All iguanas are to be relinquished to authorities at local collection sites established under emergency measures to prevent any iguanas from ending up in contaminated waters and creating a real Godzilla.

[Paladin2]

I’m waiting for the three-eyed fish to appear.

[MarineBrat]

[AppyPappy]

A questionable source considering the site name.

[Cletus.D.Yokel]

Shopped

Satire keyword needed?

[tet68]

In other news. Singing miniature twin girls found
on remote Japanese island.

[luvbach1]

I’d welcome 200-pound abalones.

[humblegunner]

Damn you FUKUSHIMA!

[Brooklyn Attitude]

F-A-K-E

[Maceman]

[Cicero]

Horrors! Man the lifeboats!

[TruthWillWin]

So that’s how to make things bigger.... Hmmmmmm

[JRios1968]

We're doomed

[cuban leaf]

[diverteach]

Questionable? Very, since the 1800 BIG-FISH phone number listed as a number to report such findings to the US Coast Guard is actually to antiques.com

[12th_Monkey]

lightly braised turnip???

Sounds like a reliable site to me.

If it wasn’t so pale, I’d think it was oprah at the beach

[tet68]

Them, what a great flick.

[kosciusko51]

Godzilla!

[cuban leaf]

Ask and ye shall receive:

[Theoria]

/s