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'I was kidnapped by lapdancers wearing miniskirts, stilettos and Daisy Duke shorts'
Daily Mail ^ | 10 January 2014 | Claire Ellicott

Posted on 01/10/2014 5:32:28 PM PST by matt1234

Three lapdancers dressed in ‘miniskirts, stilettos and Daisy Duke shorts’ kidnapped a club boss, a court was told.

Curtis Woodman said he was outside his office when the women, their female manager and two men drove up in two BMWs.

Mr Woodman said they ‘surrounded him’ before bundling him into one of the cars and driving off.

The women claimed he owed them more than £20,000 for working at his pop-up nightclub during the Cheltenham Festival in March 2012.

It is alleged that Mr Woodman was kidnapped, robbed of £60 cash and his £4,650 Breitling watch, and assaulted during a two-hour ordeal.

--SNIP--

Mr Woodman told the court in the months afterwards he had received calls demanding the money from Charlotte Devaney, 34.

On the day of the alleged incident, he said he recognised Devaney and lapdancers Mandy Cool, 29, Stephanie Pye, 31, and Rachel Goodchild, 24, when they arrived at his workplace in Tewkesbury, Gloucestershire, at around 4pm.

(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Miscellaneous; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: crime; humor; napl; uk; weird
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Full title: "'I was kidnapped by lapdancers wearing miniskirts, stilettos and Daisy Duke shorts': Club boss tells of his terror during alleged abduction by women as he gives evidence behind a screen"

Pictures of alleged perps at source. They appear decidely not guilty to me.

1 posted on 01/10/2014 5:32:29 PM PST by matt1234
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To: matt1234; Bender2

2 posted on 01/10/2014 5:35:05 PM PST by big'ol_freeper ("Evil is powerless if the good are unafraid" ~ Ronald Wilson Reagan)
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To: matt1234

This isn’t a crime. It’s my dream.


3 posted on 01/10/2014 5:37:11 PM PST by mkmensinger
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To: matt1234

Sounds like the setup for a remake of “9 to 5”.


4 posted on 01/10/2014 5:37:16 PM PST by Boogieman
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To: Slings and Arrows

ping


5 posted on 01/10/2014 5:37:23 PM PST by matt1234 (Hitler blamed the Jews. Obama blames the Tea Party.)
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To: matt1234

cultural rot getting ugly


6 posted on 01/10/2014 5:39:38 PM PST by GeronL (Extra Large Cheesy Over-Stuffed Hobbit)
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To: matt1234

Dear Penthouse forum.


7 posted on 01/10/2014 5:39:44 PM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: Lazamataz

well?


8 posted on 01/10/2014 5:41:07 PM PST by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: matt1234

I just hate it when that happens.


9 posted on 01/10/2014 5:41:27 PM PST by TruthWillWin (The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other peoples money.)
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To: mkmensinger
This isn’t a crime. It’s my dream.

I'm sure you are not alone.

10 posted on 01/10/2014 5:42:04 PM PST by matt1234 (Hitler blamed the Jews. Obama blames the Tea Party.)
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To: matt1234
> Pictures of alleged perps at source. They appear decidely not guilty to me.

Yeah, from what little you can see. They have WAY too many clothes on to be able to tell for sure.

11 posted on 01/10/2014 5:44:10 PM PST by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is...sounding pretty good about now.)
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To: mkmensinger
This isn’t a crime. It’s my dream.

My post of the year winner (so far)!!

12 posted on 01/10/2014 5:44:12 PM PST by nascarnation (I'm hiring Jack Palladino to investigate Baraq's golf scores.)
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To: dayglored

At the very least, they will be pre-approved for a Clinton post-POTUS pardon.


13 posted on 01/10/2014 5:45:08 PM PST by nascarnation (I'm hiring Jack Palladino to investigate Baraq's golf scores.)
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To: matt1234

I’d pay the ransom in one dollar bills...


14 posted on 01/10/2014 5:45:31 PM PST by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: matt1234

Two of those women are CLEARLY innocent.


15 posted on 01/10/2014 5:46:32 PM PST by Freedom_Is_Not_Free (Free goodies for all -- Freedom for none.)
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To: mkmensinger

lol


16 posted on 01/10/2014 5:48:01 PM PST by Zuben Elgenubi (NOPe to GOPe)
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To: matt1234
You were in great peril.
I don't think I was.
Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
No, it's too perilous.
Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on.
Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
No. It's unhealthy.
I bet you're gay.
Am not.

17 posted on 01/10/2014 5:58:49 PM PST by Hatteras
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To: matt1234

Lapdancers at a pop-up nightclub kidnapped the prick that shafted them.


18 posted on 01/10/2014 5:59:30 PM PST by N. Theknow (Kennedys-Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat-But they know what's best for you.)
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To: matt1234

‘kidnapped by lapdancers wearing miniskirts, stilettos and Daisy Duke shorts’

No wonder they were late showing up at the Dynachrome mansion that nite.


19 posted on 01/10/2014 6:02:23 PM PST by dynachrome (Vertrou in God en die Mauser)
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To: matt1234

Well, no wonder he didn’t pay them. They took off their tassels.


20 posted on 01/10/2014 6:09:06 PM PST by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: matt1234

"...so was I ,*hiccup* and let, *hiccup* me tell ya"

21 posted on 01/10/2014 6:12:39 PM PST by Doogle (USAF.68-73..8th TFW Ubon Thailand..never store a threat you should have eliminated))
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To: Doogle

ewok?


22 posted on 01/10/2014 6:14:37 PM PST by GeronL (Extra Large Cheesy Over-Stuffed Hobbit)
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To: matt1234
 photo ThisThreadIsWorthless_zps35df31e0.jpg
23 posted on 01/10/2014 6:15:38 PM PST by Junk Silver
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To: matt1234

One of those poor gals looks cold.


24 posted on 01/10/2014 6:36:44 PM PST by Gamecock (Celebrating 20,000 posts of dubious quality.)
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To: matt1234

You ain’t gonna believe this but....


25 posted on 01/10/2014 6:40:55 PM PST by Lurkina.n.Learnin (This is not just stupid, we're talking Democrat stupid here.)
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To: N. Theknow

What is a pop-up nightclub?


26 posted on 01/10/2014 6:42:06 PM PST by gitmo (If your theology doesn't become your biography, what good is it?)
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To: matt1234

This is movie making material.


27 posted on 01/10/2014 6:43:26 PM PST by RginTN
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To: matt1234

If he complained he must be a queer!


28 posted on 01/10/2014 6:49:20 PM PST by dalereed
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To: matt1234

This sounds like a story Laz would tell.

Not sure if I’d believe it, but he’d tell it.


29 posted on 01/10/2014 6:56:59 PM PST by Morgana (Always a bit of truth in dark humor.)
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To: cripplecreek
Dear Penthouse forum,

My name is Mr. Woodman....

30 posted on 01/10/2014 7:09:15 PM PST by Fightin Whitey
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To: matt1234; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...
Looks like Woody found out the punchline to the joke about how you make a hormone.


31 posted on 01/10/2014 7:13:39 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: mkmensinger

>”This isn’t a crime. It’s my dream”<

You forgot “wet”.

Allow me to apologize in advance.


32 posted on 01/10/2014 7:29:06 PM PST by Kickass Conservative (Nobody owes you a living, so shut up and get back to work...)
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To: matt1234
'I was kidnapped by lapdancers wearing miniskirts, stilettos and Daisy Duke shorts'

I HATE when that happens! Especially when it's every week. I have work to do!

33 posted on 01/10/2014 7:39:02 PM PST by Still Thinking (Freedom is NOT a loophole!)
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To: Still Thinking

Rules!


34 posted on 01/10/2014 7:41:19 PM PST by bmwcyle (People who do not study history are destine to believe really ignorant statements.)
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To: matt1234

How often has the same thing happened to me.


35 posted on 01/10/2014 7:56:10 PM PST by DaxtonBrown (http://www.futurnamics.com/reid.php)
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To: matt1234

It happened to me Wednesday at lunch. I just managed to escape today. It was kind of horrifying.


36 posted on 01/10/2014 8:03:27 PM PST by Conspiracy Guy (Did the ancients know they were ancients? Or did they see themselves as presents?)
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To: matt1234
'I was kidnapped by lapdancers wearing miniskirts, stilettos and Daisy Duke shorts'

Miniskirts and Daisy Duke shorts, seems like they were a little overdressed to me............Just an innocent observation........

37 posted on 01/10/2014 8:11:25 PM PST by The Cajun (Sarah Palin, Mark Levin, Ted Cruz, Mike Lee, Louie Gohmert......Nuff said.)
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To: N. Theknow

It is reported that the punishment will be stiff.


38 posted on 01/10/2014 8:11:28 PM PST by Delta Dawn (Fluent in two languages: English and cursive.)
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To: matt1234

A few of them are lo-mileage lap dancers....looking fairly decent


39 posted on 01/10/2014 8:13:52 PM PST by dennisw (The first principle is to find out who you are then you can achieve anything -- Buddhist monk)
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To: matt1234

Leviticus 19:13


40 posted on 01/10/2014 8:14:17 PM PST by faithhopecharity (no)
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To: matt1234

Make this cheap b*****d pay up!!!!!!


41 posted on 01/10/2014 8:14:27 PM PST by dennisw (The first principle is to find out who you are then you can achieve anything -- Buddhist monk)
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To: matt1234

The Vikings took most of the good looking Brit women, left all the guys with bad teeth, pasty complexion and pudgy genes. Missed the Welch and Irish beauties though.


42 posted on 01/10/2014 8:31:07 PM PST by Sequoyah101
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To: matt1234
Three lapdancers dressed in ‘miniskirts, stilettos and Daisy Duke shorts’ kidnapped a club boss, a court was told. Curtis Woodman said he was outside his office when the women, their female manager...

The story starts out good. Real good!

...and two men drove up in two BMWs.

But goes downhill from there.

43 posted on 01/10/2014 9:09:51 PM PST by TigersEye (Stupid is a Progressive disease.)
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To: matt1234

It’s the stripper’s job to get money out of her marks.


44 posted on 01/10/2014 9:51:36 PM PST by RichInOC (No! BAD Rich! (What'd I say?))
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To: Slings and Arrows; matt1234
This crime obviously needs quite a bit more study. 

Dancing Queen photo DancingQueen.gif 

 shaker photo shaker.gif

45 posted on 01/10/2014 10:39:28 PM PST by Stoat (If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
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To: Stoat

Don’t study it too long - you’ll go blind.


46 posted on 01/10/2014 11:01:06 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows
I'm sorry, I'm having trouble getting reading your post and the stoatputer won't make the text any larger. It's obviously some sort of technical problem.  I'll keep working on that in what little remaining time I have after pledging to study the "lap dancers in Daisy Dukes, miniskirts and stilettos" crime spree.

An early hypothesis emerges, which is that it's never a good idea to underestimate the power of a miniskirt.

  <Ballroll photo ballroll_zps0bbbf02d.gif/body>

 

 

47 posted on 01/10/2014 11:26:02 PM PST by Stoat (If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
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To: Stoat

One of the longest gifs I have ever seen.


48 posted on 01/10/2014 11:30:40 PM PST by LowOiL ("Abomination" sure sounds like "ObamaNation" to me.)
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To: LowOiL

Advanced Miniskirt Technology makes it all possible ;-)


49 posted on 01/10/2014 11:32:39 PM PST by Stoat (If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
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To: Slings and Arrows; matt1234; Chode; Revolting cat!
Continuing research reveals the monumental power of the miniskirt:

From 2005:

Iranian Leader Khamenei: Iran's Enemies Want to Destroy it with Miniskirts

http://www.memritv.org/clip/en/468.htm


50 posted on 01/11/2014 12:16:14 AM PST by Stoat (If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
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