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Man Sues Toothpaste Brand For Not Getting Him Any Women
Emirates 24/7 ^ | Thursday, January 16, 2014

Posted on 01/16/2014 5:34:12 PM PST by nickcarraway

Here's a man who has been using 'Close-up' brand of toothpaste for seven years in the hope of attracting a female. However, his hopes have been dashed and now he has decided to sue the brand as it has not aided him in attracting ladies with fresh smelling breath as the toothpaste ads suggest, according to Geobeats.

According to the 26-year-old man, Unilever Nigeria Limited has been sued and he has demanded that the company prove its claims with lab tests.

In the Close-up ads, women are shown flocking to men after they brush their teeth, Geobeats says.

Athony Olatunfe says: "No girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my breath. I always brush my teeth with so much close up gel to make sure the girls get turned on by my fresh breath as they usually show on TV."

The aggrieved man has submitted all of his used, half-used and unused tubes to the court as evidence.

Unliever has been accused of 'cheating' and causing him 'mental anguish'.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Health/Medicine; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: advertising; lawsuits; toothpaste

1 posted on 01/16/2014 5:34:13 PM PST by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

Beer, soap and fragrance makers on alert.


2 posted on 01/16/2014 5:38:05 PM PST by lurk
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To: nickcarraway

It must be the tie.

3 posted on 01/16/2014 5:40:22 PM PST by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: nickcarraway
Perhaps he should try ChristianMingle.com. Worked for another Nigerian.
4 posted on 01/16/2014 5:43:16 PM PST by Gamecock (Celebrating 20,000 posts of dubious quality.)
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To: nickcarraway

GOOD FOR HIM!
seven years of paying for services not received....
let’s hope he receives a BIG award!


5 posted on 01/16/2014 5:43:52 PM PST by faithhopecharity (C)
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To: lurk

Guess i need to proceed with my Axe lawsuit then...: )


6 posted on 01/16/2014 5:44:34 PM PST by jsanders2001
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To: nickcarraway

Why doesn’t Prince Nogettawoman just send out an email like every other Nigerian?


7 posted on 01/16/2014 5:47:25 PM PST by SeminoleCounty (Amnesty And Not Ending ObamaCare Will Kill GOP In 2014)
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To: nickcarraway

If only he had used Hai Karate....then he would have to fight off the girls.


8 posted on 01/16/2014 5:48:18 PM PST by GreenHornet
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To: nickcarraway
He should change brands and start using Ultra Bright. That brand gives you sex appeal!
9 posted on 01/16/2014 5:51:07 PM PST by Fiji Hill
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To: nickcarraway

LOL…LOVE IT.

.we should all be suing companies that use deceptive advertising…which includes approximately all of them.

And we should sue colleges that issue degrees to morons. Or to colleges that do not actually teach much besides political correctness, leaving graduates un prepared to do any actual work. *Thinking of J School (Journalism)


10 posted on 01/16/2014 5:53:47 PM PST by Veto! (OpInions freely dispensed as advice)
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To: GreenHornet

11 posted on 01/16/2014 5:55:28 PM PST by Joe 6-pack (Qui me amat, amat et canem meum.)
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To: nickcarraway

The fellas couldn’t stay away, however.


12 posted on 01/16/2014 6:00:04 PM PST by alstewartfan (A century later I scan the equator on my Egyptian couch. Al Stewart)
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To: jsanders2001
"..Guess i need to proceed with my Axe lawsuit then...:)"

Arrrgghhh!! My old lady came home with some of that soap for me cause it was on sale. I really liked the soap, but one day in the shower I noticed the little ditty on the back about "unlimited female attention". Really?!? I just can't believe that guys would be that schtoopit. But then again I ain't a marketing professional. d;^)

I don't use it anymore. That's just too much. d:^)

13 posted on 01/16/2014 6:00:17 PM PST by CopperTop
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To: nickcarraway

Maybe if he ditched the Mr. Spock costume, that would help.


14 posted on 01/16/2014 6:01:56 PM PST by alstewartfan (A century later I scan the equator on my Egyptian couch. Al Stewart)
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To: CopperTop

And your wife gave it to you? What message is she trying to send?


15 posted on 01/16/2014 6:04:59 PM PST by nickcarraway
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To: Joe 6-pack

He could try Old Spice but the commercials I saw always had a guy waiting for some dude to get back from his boat trip.

:O


16 posted on 01/16/2014 6:10:30 PM PST by F15Eagle (1Jn4:15;5:4-5,11-13;Mt27:50-54;Mk15:33-34;Jn3:17-18,6:69,11:25,14:6,20:31;Ro10:8-11;1Tm2:5-6;Ti3:4-7)
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To: shibumi

I’m sure the tie ain’t helping ... just saying.


17 posted on 01/16/2014 6:11:21 PM PST by F15Eagle (1Jn4:15;5:4-5,11-13;Mt27:50-54;Mk15:33-34;Jn3:17-18,6:69,11:25,14:6,20:31;Ro10:8-11;1Tm2:5-6;Ti3:4-7)
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To: F15Eagle; nickcarraway

Along with the tie, there’s the obvious question of technique.

If he’s getting women he barely knows close enough that they can smell his breath, he might - just *might* - mind you, be perceived as a bit ....... forward(?)


18 posted on 01/16/2014 6:17:13 PM PST by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: F15Eagle

Humorous, but true story. There are three colognes I wear with any regularity. Two are relatively high-end, which I like. The third is Aqua Velva musk. My dad wore it, and when I splash it on, the smell reminds me of him all day. Ironically, it is by far, the scent I get the most compliments on...


19 posted on 01/16/2014 6:19:42 PM PST by Joe 6-pack (Qui me amat, amat et canem meum.)
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To: nickcarraway

I dab a little Hoppes #9 behind the ears - doesn’t attract many women, but it attracts the right kind!


20 posted on 01/16/2014 6:20:21 PM PST by CrazyIvan (Obama phones= Bread and circuits.)
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To: F15Eagle
I’m sure the tie ain’t helping ... just saying.

Maybe it's the "Gilligan" hat.

21 posted on 01/16/2014 6:21:52 PM PST by GreenHornet
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To: GreenHornet

Yeah we were noticing that too — but hadn’t put the ‘Gilligan’ label on it. Good call.


22 posted on 01/16/2014 6:28:50 PM PST by F15Eagle (1Jn4:15;5:4-5,11-13;Mt27:50-54;Mk15:33-34;Jn3:17-18,6:69,11:25,14:6,20:31;Ro10:8-11;1Tm2:5-6;Ti3:4-7)
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To: Gamecock

Oh wow... saw that and the first thing I thought was lowbridge scam baiting the Nigerian scammers. He has some epics tales.


23 posted on 01/16/2014 6:48:04 PM PST by Rodamala
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To: Fiji Hill

“He should change brands and start using Ultra Bright. That brand gives you sex appeal! “

Both Close Up and Ultra Bright were premium reactions to Crest and Colgate in the 60s & 70s. Now they are Dollar Store brands.

Regarding the merits of the case, I learned my lesson when I was 8 snd discovered that Lifebuoy soap doesn’t really let you walk two feet in the air.


24 posted on 01/16/2014 6:50:14 PM PST by Dr. Sivana (“The only thing that can save us is if Kerry wins the Nobel prize and leaves us alone.”-Moshe Yaal)
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To: nickcarraway

“close-up” cannot overcome goat.


25 posted on 01/16/2014 7:00:10 PM PST by KosmicKitty (WARNING: Hormonally crazed woman ahead!!)
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To: shibumi

That dude is 26 ?!?


26 posted on 01/16/2014 7:19:58 PM PST by fieldmarshaldj (Resist We Much)
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To: fieldmarshaldj

no way!

He looks like Evander Holyfields older cousin


27 posted on 01/16/2014 7:22:15 PM PST by GeronL (Extra Large Cheesy Over-Stuffed Hobbit)
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To: fieldmarshaldj

I guess so.

That’s just the pic I found that matched the story.
(It had similar text and the source wasn’t on the “bad” list, so I guess that’s him.)

Maybe not getting the chicks makes you age prematurely.


28 posted on 01/16/2014 7:43:47 PM PST by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: CrazyIvan

Hubba Hubba!

I’ll be right over! ;-)


29 posted on 01/16/2014 7:56:33 PM PST by left that other site
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To: nickcarraway

Everyone knows f you want to attract women you have to use Hai Karate..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtwh3nQP5Uo


30 posted on 01/16/2014 8:38:59 PM PST by massmike (If I like my tagline,I can keep it! Obama said so..........)
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To: Dr. Sivana
I learned my lesson when I was 8 snd discovered that Lifebuoy soap doesn’t really let you walk two feet in the air.

But it will give you a bad case of "Soap Poisoning."


31 posted on 01/16/2014 8:42:26 PM PST by dfwgator
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To: nickcarraway
Toothpaste is racist:


32 posted on 01/16/2014 8:58:29 PM PST by Dr.Deth
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To: nickcarraway; a fool in paradise; Slings and Arrows
Good for him, we oughta join him in class action, class! That'll learn 'em!

Sposed to be certified, too!

33 posted on 01/16/2014 8:58:40 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious! We reserve the right to serve refuse to anyone!)
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To: nickcarraway

34 posted on 01/16/2014 9:05:06 PM PST by sushiman
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To: nickcarraway
He should try Bob's product,then....


35 posted on 01/16/2014 9:31:32 PM PST by massmike (If I like my tagline,I can keep it! Obama said so..........)
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To: nickcarraway

Finally! It’s about time somebody sued for such blatant false advertising!


36 posted on 01/16/2014 10:29:28 PM PST by catnipman (Cat Nipman: Vote Republican in 2012 and only be called racist one more time!)
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To: nickcarraway
In the Close-up ads, women are shown flocking to men after they brush their teeth, Geobeats says.

Yeah, but they don't SAY that women will flock to you.

It's different from when I drink a Coke, and a volleyball game between twenty-somethings in swimsuits breaks out.

37 posted on 01/16/2014 10:45:17 PM PST by St_Thomas_Aquinas ( Isaiah 22:22, Matthew 16:19, Revelation 3:7)
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To: nickcarraway

Has he watched any American beer commercials yet?


38 posted on 01/16/2014 10:47:15 PM PST by Moorings
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To: nickcarraway

I almost did that to the folks who made Brylcreem. It was the ads saying, “Brylcreem, a little dab’ll do ya, all the girls’ll pursue ya” that made me use it. %0 years and no hair later and it never worked - one of these days I’ll get rid of the 3 cases I still have from the mother lode I amassed with thoughts of being surrounded by all the girls.


39 posted on 01/17/2014 3:04:56 AM PST by trebb (Where in the the hell has my country gone?)
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To: nickcarraway

If he wins, Axe is in big trouble...

I remember when I was young, I splashed on Hai Karate and waited... ;)


40 posted on 01/17/2014 3:43:40 AM PST by Anton.Rutter
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To: Joe 6-pack

I save the Aqua Velva for Happy Hour...


41 posted on 01/17/2014 3:54:58 AM PST by metesky (Brethren, leave us go amongst them! - Rev. Capt. Samuel Johnston Clayton - Ward Bond, The Searchers)
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To: nickcarraway; Revolting cat!; Slings and Arrows; Lazamataz

Next thing you know, someone will claim that Ploum Ploum doesn’t really work.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmewm2Uvsmc


42 posted on 01/17/2014 8:22:06 AM PST by a fool in paradise ("Health care is too important to be left to the government.")
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