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Three Brothers Bakery Charms With Anti-Valentine's Day Treats
Houston Press ^ | Fri., Feb. 7 2014 | Joanna O'Leary

Posted on 02/08/2014 10:46:05 AM PST by nickcarraway

Petite fours: An undeniably sweet way to say, "Screw You!"

Valentine's Day can really blow. The years I have been single and lonely on February 14t still outnumber the (recent) years when I have not been, so when people tell me they loathe the holiday because it only reinforces feelings of personal inadequacy brought on by their solo status, I can empathize.

One February was particularly harsh. I had been seeing this young lad horrendous douchebag musician for a few months and things, I thought, were progressing well. We had a lot of fun spending time together, feelings were growing deeper, and there was even some talk of future plans. Then, a week before Valentine's Day, he grew distant. After not hearing from him for more than 48 hours, he called on the evening of the holiday itself and (you know what's coming) dumped my sorry ass. Thanks, Dick.* Anyway, fortunately, a good friend soon after the call whisked me off to dinner to cheer me up. If, however, you find yourself in a similar situation on or around Valentine's Day, or if you simply want to take an antithetical approach to the holiday and use it as an opportunity to tell your nearest but not dearest to go f&ck him/herself, then you gotta go to Three Brothers Bakery.

Of course, they're offering a plethora of indulgent confections colored red, white, and pink with sweet messages for you to give to your significant other, best friend, co-worker, blah blah blah. But more interesting, and perhaps more useful, is their absolutely fabulous line of Anti-Valentine's Day desserts.

I'm partial to the vanilla cream petit fours inscribed with messages such as "I H8 U", "U Suck", "Go Away", and my absolute favorite, "meh". (Really, what other three-letter word in the English language so beautifully conveys such indifferent uninterest?)

Even more impressive in terms of design, and equally tasty, are the frosted sugar cookies. Their shape seems to represent not so much the symbolic organ of amorous love, but a desire to stab someone through the heart (perhaps thereby returning the favor?).

A cookie with Grumpy Cat telling you to lose weight? Deliciously mean. The pièce de résistance in this line is the cookie depicting Grumpy Cat, who admonishes the recipient: "You'd be PURR-fect...if you lost 15 pounds." What an extraordinary feat of culinary cruelty.

So, if you've got an ax to grind this Valentine's, head to Three Brothers Bakery. Pick up a few treats for your frenemies or pre-order a whole box for your favorite nemesis.


TOPICS: Food; Local News; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS:




1 posted on 02/08/2014 10:46:05 AM PST by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

I had been seeing this young lad horrendous douchebag musician for a few months and


2 posted on 02/08/2014 10:50:53 AM PST by knarf (I say things that are true .. I have no proof .. but they're true.)
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To: knarf

“I had been seeing this young lad horrendous douchebag musician for a few months and”

he got sober.


3 posted on 02/08/2014 10:53:00 AM PST by Stormdog (A rifle transforms one from subject to Citizen)
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To: nickcarraway

“See a need....Fill a need.”


4 posted on 02/08/2014 10:53:48 AM PST by dfwgator
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To: knarf
musician

I think I see the problem right off.

5 posted on 02/08/2014 10:53:59 AM PST by Hardastarboard (The question of our age is whether a majority of Americans can and will vote us all into slavery.)
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To: nickcarraway

6 posted on 02/08/2014 10:54:16 AM PST by DannyTN
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To: nickcarraway

OK, St. Valentine’s Day or Kwanzaa...which is the phoniest holiday, and why?


7 posted on 02/08/2014 10:54:18 AM PST by twister881
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To: nickcarraway
Since you can't spell petits fours, Joanna, you should just call them "little cakes."

The Grumpy Cat cake is darling.

8 posted on 02/08/2014 10:54:43 AM PST by Tax-chick (Tell the mad chameleon he's not welcome any more.)
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To: nickcarraway
I LIKE 'em!!!

But I celebrate anti-social behavior all year long on my front step

 photo leavedoormat.jpg

9 posted on 02/08/2014 11:01:21 AM PST by digger48
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To: nickcarraway
Instead of love we have anti love. Cynical and snarky, I don't like the concept at all.

Valentines are for people we love, not for Obama.

10 posted on 02/08/2014 11:03:45 AM PST by Stepan12
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To: digger48

11 posted on 02/08/2014 11:04:55 AM PST by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans!)
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To: nickcarraway

These awesome treats will make it tough for me to ignore Valentine’s Day this year...


12 posted on 02/08/2014 11:06:16 AM PST by who knows what evil? (G-d saved more animals than people on the ark...www.siameserescue.org.)
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To: nickcarraway

Luv these.
Could give to crabby husband, but would only make him more crabby.


13 posted on 02/08/2014 11:06:35 AM PST by TheConservativeParty
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To: nickcarraway
I ran into a co worker I hadn't seen in a few years. As we were talking about the latest stuff, he said he recently lost 140 pounds of ugly fat. I found it hard to believe, as he looked about the same as the last time I saw him.

He explained he recently had gotten divorced.

14 posted on 02/08/2014 11:23:40 AM PST by mountn man (The Pleasure You Get From Life Is Equal To The Attitude You Put Into It)
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To: TheConservativeParty

Might make him smile.


15 posted on 02/08/2014 11:25:24 AM PST by nickcarraway
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To: Slings and Arrows

There’s a great cake with grumpy cat on it LOL!!


16 posted on 02/08/2014 11:41:05 AM PST by siamesecats (God closes one door, and opens another, to protect us.)
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To: siamesecats; Slings and Arrows; Glenn; republicangel; Beaker; BADROTOFINGER; etabeta; ...
There’s a great cake with grumpy cat on it LOL!!


17 posted on 02/08/2014 11:55:36 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: nickcarraway

Gee, I wonder why the musician dumped this foul-mouthed whiner....


18 posted on 02/08/2014 12:02:24 PM PST by Bigg Red (O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! Ps 8)
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To: nickcarraway

Mean spirited enough to cause indigestion, I would surmise. I’m so tired of the mean spiritness of the world.


19 posted on 02/08/2014 12:52:19 PM PST by This I Wonder32460
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To: Stepan12

“Instead of love we have anti love. Cynical and snarky, I don’t like the concept at all.”

Me too. I m so tired of the mean spiritness of the “cynical and snarky.”


20 posted on 02/08/2014 12:55:18 PM PST by This I Wonder32460
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To: Slings and Arrows

Haha, thanks for the lulz. :)


21 posted on 02/08/2014 1:05:35 PM PST by andyk (I have sworn...eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.)
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To: null and void; Vendome

This is what I need!!!! I want the one that says “meh”


22 posted on 02/08/2014 1:06:20 PM PST by Shimmer1
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To: andyk

You’re welcome, FRiend.


23 posted on 02/08/2014 1:11:41 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: All

Well, I have heard that dumping people just before Valentines or another big date or holiday is a favorite trick of commitmentphobes, but in most cases , I suspect they’ve been contemplating the breakup for awhile, and just don’t want to go through the motions of celebrating with someone they’ve lost interest in.
Too bad she’s become bitter, probably at a fairly young age. Most of my Valentines days have been spent alone, too, obviously, since Ive never married. Of course I wish it had not turned out this way. But I think that Valentines has become a bigger deal over the years, just as Halloween has. I don’t remember my parents observing Valentines, though they had before they were married, since that’s when they got engaged, exactly 70 years ago—Feb.1944. So it was seen as a holiday for kids and young lovers.
I do also see it as a Christian holiday—St. Valentine was a legendary figure who helped people. Most importantly, in the northern latitudes, it’s a spot of warmth and brightness in a bleak season, like Christmas only smaller. I see it as a holiday of hope, like Easter can be, even for pagans and other non-Christians. It can even be a holiday of hope and change. one Valentines, I made a resolution not be alone by Valentines next year and it motivated me to take out a personal ad. I love the colors. And it’s 10 days before my birthday.
One of the few romantic Valentines’ I had recently, I told my conservative boyfriend that a lot of liberals don’t like Valentines. (Capitalist plot by Hallmark and the floral industry, doncha know—you’d be surprised how many men buy into this) Well, that’s all it took. If he thinks liberals don’t like it, he’s determined to like it. We had gifts and a romantic dinner that I cooked, no griping.


24 posted on 02/08/2014 1:21:55 PM PST by crazycatlady
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To: Slings and Arrows

25 posted on 02/08/2014 1:23:32 PM PST by Daffynition ("If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." ~ Henry Ford)
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To: crazycatlady

I think you’re right about Valentine’s Day becoming a bigger deal than it used to be. V-Day gifts used to be flowers and chocolates; now it’s diamond jewelry.

I don’t care about flowers. My favorite Valentine’s gift ever was a Stephen King novel and a bag of miniature peppermint patties, lol.


26 posted on 02/08/2014 1:48:33 PM PST by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males----the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization.))
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To: All

Three Brothers Bakery is a Houston institution, founded after WWII by concentration camp survivors. Now run by the 5th generation.

Worth reading their history on 3BB site:

http://www.3brothersbakery.com/history.aspx

and check out the Pumpecapple Piecake:

http://www.chron.com/life/article/Building-pumpecapple-a-sweet-surprise-1697807.php


27 posted on 02/08/2014 3:38:32 PM PST by Ready4Freddy
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To: crazycatlady
Well, I have heard that dumping people just before Valentines or another big date or holiday is a favorite trick of commitmentphobes, but in most cases , I suspect they’ve been contemplating the breakup for awhile, and just don’t want to go through the motions of celebrating with someone they’ve lost interest in.

I think you're right. I think an important clue was in "I had been seeing this young lad horrendous douchebag musician for a few months and things, I thought, were progressing well. We had a lot of fun spending time together, feelings were growing deeper, and there was even some talk of future plans."

I get the feeling that SHE was feeling he should commit, while HE was deciding that she just wasn't "Miss Right", and looking for the door.

28 posted on 02/08/2014 3:49:16 PM PST by PapaBear3625 (You don't notice it's a police state until the police come for you.)
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To: nickcarraway

I’m guessing that the sorry leftist writer (assumed from the profanity) is not overly lovable - likely shrill, overweight and poor personal hygiene.


29 posted on 02/08/2014 6:44:35 PM PST by Some Fat Guy in L.A. (Still bitterly clinging to rational thought despite it's unfashionability)
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To: twister881

St. Valentine’s Day. It came first, and it enjoys greater popularity.


30 posted on 02/09/2014 8:56:55 AM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: CatherineofAragon
My gift to my wife for V-Day last year was this:

Amazingly, it didn't get me banished to the garage. :)

31 posted on 02/09/2014 9:00:30 AM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

LOL!!


32 posted on 02/09/2014 9:06:40 AM PST by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males----the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization.))
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