Posted on 02/12/2014 10:00:42 AM PST by Kaslin
Dear Dave,
How can I get credit card companies to stop sending us preapproved offers? My wife continues to sign up for these, and now we have $40,000 in credit card debt.
Dan
Dear Dan,
Chances are you’ll never get credit card companies to stop sending stuff, but there a few things you can do that might help slow things down. Access your credit bureau report, and opt out of marketing offers. You can also freeze your credit report, and send direct requests to the credit card companies to take you off their mailing lists.
I’ve been telling people not to use credit cards for 20 years and, believe it or not, even I get offers in the mail. The more mailing lists you get on, the more your mailbox will fill up with junk mail. If you have magazine subscriptions and things like that, your contact information is circulating all over the place.
The next thing I’m going to say may sound cruel, but I really don’t mean it that way. You don’t have a junk mail problem, Dan. You have a relationship problem. You two are not on the same page about money. Either she doesn’t feel like you two have enough money, and she’s resorting to credit cards for this reason, or she does this because she’s a spoiled brat who thinks she should always have what she wants when she wants it. Her behavior is destroying your financial lives and driving a wedge between you.
My advice would be to sit down and have a gentle, loving talk with her about all this. Try to find out why she feels the need to have all these credit cards, and explain that you’re worried about what it’s doing to your marriage and your finances. That may mean having to spend some time with a marriage counselor, but that’s okay, too. There’s no reason to be ashamed of something like that. The truth is, most of us who have been married more than 20 minutes could use a little help in that area of our lives!
—Dave
Dear Dave,
I’m trying to pay off my credit card and get out of debt. Do you think I should transfer the balance to one with a lower interest rate while I do this?
Kelsey
Dear Kelsey,
I’m not against this idea, as long as you understand that you’re not really accomplishing much. All you’re doing is moving money around, and maybe saving a tiny bit on interest. If you were planning on keeping the debt for around 30 years it would become a big deal. But if you’re talking about a few months, just until you get it paid off, it’s not that much money.
The problem with balance transfers is that you feel like you took a big step forward when you really didn’t. Lots of times this causes people to lose focus on other things they can do to get out of debt, like picking up an extra job or selling a bunch a crap they don’t want or need. That kind of stuff, along with living on rice and beans and a strict written budget, is 98 percent of the battle when it comes to getting out of debt!
—Dave
LOL. Sounds like Dan is focusing on the wrong problem. Its like an alcoholic who gets too many DUIs who decides to stop driving. Dan needs to get his wife under control.
I remember a friend in college who discovered a bunch of extra money in her checking account. The bank made an error. She went on a spending spree. Never found out what happened when the bank wanted its money back.
And in those situations, the bank definitely, always wants its money back. When I was in college in Washington, a bank mistakenly put 20s in the 10s dispenser in the ATM machine. My friends and I took out a bunch of money in a way that got it to dispense 10s (which were really 20s). We thought we got over on the bank. We learned a couple weeks later, when there were extra debits to our accounts, that we did not.
Oh ya. They have a way. Easy to trace too. It may have been their mistake but it was also their money. No excuses.
That is stealing and I don’t see why people don’t understand that. My husband cashed a check (at a bank we don’t use but the check was from there) then he realized the lady had given him $50 extra. She recounted it and said no it was correct so he went to deposit that cash at our bank and again realized that she had given him $50 too much. He went back to the original bank and had to argue with the woman to get her to take the $50 back. She finally realized her mistake and thanked him. Since we don’t bank at the first bank, I doubt they would have found the mistake.
I don’t know why Dave has a problem with credit card. I use mine for every thing. I transfer funds from my checking to keep it paid off and have about 400 dollars cash back. If I used checks I would have paid the same amount and not had the 400.
Guy has a wife problem not a credit card problem. It will probably lead to divorce eventually....
Dave has a problem with credit cards in the sense he’s not talking to you or me. Or the majority of people who are financially responsible.
When he says “cut ‘em up”; he is talking to the deadbeats. Much like a counselor will say “Don’t drink alcohol”; not to you or I, but to an alcoholic.
Hey, finally an honest person! There is hope.
A lot of people would keep it.
He says she signs up for these. She may or may not be the prominent user of them. Chances are that in having it available, they are mutual abusers...but might not.
That's a fact. I know a young man who had this exact problem. He just couldn't keep ahead of her. He'd get a promotion, and she'd spend that. He picked up a second job to try and get ahead, and she'd blow through that. No matter what he brought home, she spent more. He finally had enough and ended it. Really sad, because there were young children involved. Everybody lost, because mom refused to grow up.
(signed) Uncle Sam
Taking them straight from the mailbox to the shredder works pretty well in our house.
[ Guy has a wife problem not a credit card problem. It will probably lead to divorce eventually....
That’s a fact. I know a young man who had this exact problem. He just couldn’t keep ahead of her. He’d get a promotion, and she’d spend that. He picked up a second job to try and get ahead, and she’d blow through that. No matter what he brought home, she spent more. He finally had enough and ended it. Really sad, because there were young children involved. Everybody lost, because mom refused to grow up. ]
A lot of women like this I have known have “mommy issues” and their mommy has raised them to be frugal and the mother in law actually encourages the wife to spend the husbands money with reckless abandon....
The best thing is to pair up the credit card offers and send the blank form from company A in the pre-paid return envelope to company B and vice versa. Make them pay to receive their competitors’ solicitations.
Dear Dan,
Have your wife declared incompetent.
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