Skip to comments.***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 02/14/2014 4:47:47 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Funny Valentines day quotes
I trust you plan more for Valentines Day than Russia prepared for the Olympics.
I hope you noticed that not only the Sochi Olympics opening ceremony is missing a ring.
Whats does my perfect Valentines day look like? I am sitting at work with 5 cell phones in front of me and people are calling me every 10 minutes to buy one of the 50 reservations that I made in different restaurants.
If youre alone during Valentines day, it is priceless for you. Otherwise you would spend a few hundred dollars.
If you feel sad that you stay alone during Valentines day, just remember that nobody loves you on any of those other 355 days of the year.
Today is February 14th St. Valentines day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as extortion day.
To comfort your sister if shes alone during Valentines day, you may say: 80 percent of my socks are single but I have never seen them crying because of that.
My boyfriend told me I can do with him whatever I want on Valentines Day, so I tied him up and went to the nightclub.
Happy Valentines Day to all the couples, wish your love last forever and to all single people wish your batteries last forever
Valentines Day is for couples. All singles can enjoy themselves for rest of 364 days of the year.
Please remember that Valentines Day is a polite reminder that Christmas decorations must go down!
Love doesnt have a price tag on it, but all its accessories has.
It would be great if Valentines Day came with a fast-forward button.
Im only in this for your cute butt. Obviously. Happy Valentines day.
I love you just the way I am
A real confession: You mean so much more to me than my new iPhone!
I do not need a photograph to remember you, because you are always on my mind.
Darling, will you be my player number 2?
To be happy with a man you have to understand him a lot and love me a little. While with the women its vice versa: love them a lot and dont even try to understand them. Happy Valentines day!
I would love you even if you were so ugly that everyone died.
You would be perfect (if only you lost 20 pounds)
I need to fall in love, because I havent had any problems for a long time. Happy February 14th!
You have to kiss a lot of frogs, before you find your prince on the horse.
You should leave office earlier today so your colleagues will think you have some romantic plans for Valentines Day.
I wish you would be my emergency contact person one day.
Im celebrating no need to celebrate Valentines Day.
Congratulations! You are my first repetitive Valentine.
I suspect you was cheating, your gift for me was too amazing.
I want to say thank you for the flowers Im going to send to myself and pretend are from you.
USMC Best Joke of the Year
A Marine squad was scouting north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.
The Marine reported, I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, low life scum bag who got what he deserved. He yelled back that Barack Obama is a lying, good-for-nothing, left-wing Commie who isnt even an American. So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling, Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!
And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us.
ya beat me this morning!
Top TEN!!!! YAY!!!
FRIDAY....and its above freezing here
Happy Valentine's Day!
Happy Valentine's Day!
Biden is a Silliness Thread, in and of himself. LOL!
355? To figure out how old this line is, I will need to consult with an astronomical physicist to determine what the rate of decay in the Earth's orbit that would equate to this author's 356 day year.
Good morning, and Happy V-Day!
yes he is! LOL
Extreme Cold Weather Predicted
Late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in North Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.
But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, ‘Is the coming winter going to be cold?’
‘It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,’ the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.
A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. ‘Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?’
‘Yes,’ the man at National Weather Service again replied, ‘it’s going to be a very cold winter.’
The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.
Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. ‘Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?’
‘Absolutely,’ the man replied. ‘It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we’ve ever seen.’
‘How can you be so sure?’ the chief asked.
The weatherman replied, ‘The Indians are collecting a butt load of firewood’.
Some have asked what I’m going to be doing in 2014.
Well, I applied for a building permit for a new house. It was going to be 100 ft. tall and 400 ft. wide, with 12 gun turrets at various heights, and windows all over the place and a loud outside entertainment sound system that was going to wake the whole ‘hood. It would have parking for 200 cars, and I was going to paint it ‘snot’ green with pink trim.
The City Council told me; Forget it...IT AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN!
So, I sent the application in again but this time I called it a ‘Mosque’.
Work starts on Monday.
I love this country. Its the government that scares the crap out of me.
Happy, happy, happy!
Top something... Woohoo
Does that skirt make her butts look big?
We have a winner.
GAH!!!! Disturbing is right! How many illegals is she smuggling into the White House?
That looks about the right size...
Honest Trailers : Transformers http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzJuDo5ots0
Die Dubstep Zauberflöte http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnjfKk5WJWo
Sir Mix-A-Lot would approve...
I love those things! (The honest movie trailers, that is!)