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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 02/14/2014 4:47:47 AM PST by Lucky9teen

Funny Valentine’s day quotes

I trust you plan more for Valentine’s Day than Russia prepared for the Olympics.

I hope you noticed that not only the Sochi Olympics opening ceremony is missing a ring.

What’s does my perfect Valentine’s day look like? I am sitting at work with 5 cell phones in front of me and people are calling me every 10 minutes to buy one of the 50 reservations that I made in different restaurants.

If you‘re alone during Valentine’s day, it is priceless for you. Otherwise you would spend a few hundred dollars.

If you feel sad that you stay alone during Valentine‘s day, just remember that nobody loves you on any of those other 355 days of the year.

Today is February 14th – St. Valentine’s day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as extortion day.

To comfort your sister if she’s alone during Valentine’s day, you may say: 80 percent of my socks are single but I have never seen them crying because of that.

My boyfriend told me I can do with him whatever I want on Valentine’s Day, so I tied him up and went to the nightclub.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all the couples, wish your love last forever and to all single people wish your batteries last forever…

Valentine’s Day is for couples. All singles can enjoy themselves for rest of 364 days of the year.

Please remember that Valentine’s Day is a polite reminder that Christmas decorations must go down!

Love doesn’t have a price tag on it, but all its accessories has.

It would be great if Valentine’s Day came with a fast-forward button.

Funny Valentine’s day greetings and wishes

I‘m only in this for your cute butt. Obviously. Happy Valentine‘s day.

I love you just the way I am

A real confession: You mean so much more to me than my new iPhone!

I do not need a photograph to remember you, because you are always on my mind.

Darling, will you be my player number 2?

To be happy with a man you have to understand him a lot and love me a little. While with the women it‘s vice versa: love them a lot and don‘t even try to understand them. Happy Valentine’s day!

I would love you even if you were so ugly that everyone died.

You would be perfect (if only you lost 20 pounds)

I need to fall in love, because I haven’t had any problems for a long time. Happy February 14th!

You have to kiss a lot of frogs, before you find your prince on the horse.

You should leave office earlier today so your colleagues will think you have some romantic plans for Valentine’s Day.

I wish you would be my emergency contact person one day.

I’m celebrating no need to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Congratulations! You are my first repetitive Valentine.

I suspect you was cheating, your gift for me was too amazing.

I want to say thank you for the flowers I’m going to send to myself and pretend are from you.



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: friday; ofst; silliness; valentines
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From sodpoodle

USMC Best Joke of the Year

A Marine squad was scouting north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

The Marine reported, “I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, low life scum bag who got what he deserved. He yelled back that Barack Obama is a lying, good-for-nothing, left-wing Commie who isn’t even an American. So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling, Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!

And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us.”

1 posted on 02/14/2014 4:47:47 AM PST by Lucky9teen
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...

I LOVE




CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST



 

2 posted on 02/14/2014 4:49:01 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen

ya beat me this morning!


3 posted on 02/14/2014 4:50:58 AM PST by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen
Works for me...

4 posted on 02/14/2014 4:51:51 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top TEN!!!! YAY!!!


5 posted on 02/14/2014 4:52:46 AM PST by Monkey Face (Absinthe makes the heart grow fondue. ~~ Darksheare and NoCmpromiz)
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To: Lucky9teen

FRIDAY....and its above freezing here


6 posted on 02/14/2014 4:53:51 AM PST by Yorlik803 ( Church/Caboose in 2016)
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To: Monkey Face

7 posted on 02/14/2014 4:55:17 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top Ten!


8 posted on 02/14/2014 4:56:03 AM PST by exit82 ("The Taliban is on the inside of the building" E. Nordstrom 10-10-12)
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To: Lucky9teen
Top Ten!

Happy Valentine's Day!

9 posted on 02/14/2014 4:56:37 AM PST by eCSMaster ("It is not the color of his skin, ... it is the blackness that fills his soul")
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To: Yorlik803
From Ted Cruz's FB page:








10 posted on 02/14/2014 4:57:49 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen

Happy Valentine's Day!

11 posted on 02/14/2014 4:58:04 AM PST by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Lucky9teen

Biden is a Silliness Thread, in and of himself. LOL!


12 posted on 02/14/2014 4:58:22 AM PST by Monkey Face (Absinthe makes the heart grow fondue. ~~ Darksheare and NoCmpromiz)
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To: eCSMaster; All
Smile! You are loved!

Happy Valentines Day FReeper FRiends!!
13 posted on 02/14/2014 4:59:12 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Liberty Valance

14 posted on 02/14/2014 5:01:18 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen
If you feel sad that you stay alone during Valentine‘s day, just remember that nobody loves you on any of those other 355 days of the year.

355? To figure out how old this line is, I will need to consult with an astronomical physicist to determine what the rate of decay in the Earth's orbit that would equate to this author's 356 day year.

Happy Frid-alentine's-day.

15 posted on 02/14/2014 5:01:38 AM PST by GreenAccord (Bacon Akbar)
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To: Lucky9teen


16 posted on 02/14/2014 5:01:52 AM PST by JoeProBono (SOME IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED;-{)
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To: Lucky9teen
HOHOHOHO HOHOHOHO
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
Thanks, You made my Day!

17 posted on 02/14/2014 5:03:17 AM PST by left that other site
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To: Lucky9teen

Top ten?


18 posted on 02/14/2014 5:04:25 AM PST by John O (God Save America (Please))
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To: Lucky9teen

Good morning, and Happy V-Day!


19 posted on 02/14/2014 5:06:04 AM PST by Disambiguator
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To: Monkey Face

yes he is! LOL


20 posted on 02/14/2014 5:11:56 AM PST by Shimmer1
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To: Lucky9teen

Extreme Cold Weather Predicted

Late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in North Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, ‘Is the coming winter going to be cold?’

‘It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,’ the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. ‘Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?’

‘Yes,’ the man at National Weather Service again replied, ‘it’s going to be a very cold winter.’

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. ‘Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?’

‘Absolutely,’ the man replied. ‘It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we’ve ever seen.’

‘How can you be so sure?’ the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, ‘The Indians are collecting a butt load of firewood’.


21 posted on 02/14/2014 5:12:16 AM PST by Arrowhead1952 (The Second Amendment is NOT about the right to hunt. It IS a right to shoot tyrants.)
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To: JoeProBono
Janitor's Revenge: How to annoy people when it snows.
22 posted on 02/14/2014 5:13:34 AM PST by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: All

Building Permit

Some have asked what I’m going to be doing in 2014.

Well, I applied for a building permit for a new house. It was going to be 100 ft. tall and 400 ft. wide, with 12 gun turrets at various heights, and windows all over the place and a loud outside entertainment sound system that was going to wake the whole ‘hood. It would have parking for 200 cars, and I was going to paint it ‘snot’ green with pink trim.

The City Council told me; “Forget it...IT AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN!”

So, I sent the application in again but this time I called it a ‘Mosque’.

Work starts on Monday.

I love this country. It’s the government that scares the crap out of me.


23 posted on 02/14/2014 5:14:00 AM PST by Arrowhead1952 (The Second Amendment is NOT about the right to hunt. It IS a right to shoot tyrants.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Yesterday was the 24th anniversary of proposing to my wife. Last June she left me. Thbis is what I want to send her for Valentine's Day:


24 posted on 02/14/2014 5:16:37 AM PST by fredhead (Join the Navy and see the world.....77% of which is covered in water.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Watch the ice


25 posted on 02/14/2014 5:20:51 AM PST by JoeProBono (SOME IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED;-{)
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To: JoeProBono

26 posted on 02/14/2014 5:38:26 AM PST by Focault's Pendulum (I live in NJ....' Nuff said!)
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To: Lucky9teen; Lazamataz; 2ndDivisionVet; GeronL
Overly Attached Uncle Sam

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3cw4185gvM


27 posted on 02/14/2014 5:39:01 AM PST by KC_Lion (Build the America you want to live in at your address, and keep looking up.-Sarah Palin)
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To: Lucky9teen

Happy, happy, happy!

28 posted on 02/14/2014 5:40:28 AM PST by ErnBatavia (The 0baMao Experiment: Abject Failure)
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To: KC_Lion

Top something... Woohoo


29 posted on 02/14/2014 5:48:56 AM PST by EQAndyBuzz (Insurgent Conservative)
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To: JoeProBono

Does that skirt make her butts look big?


30 posted on 02/14/2014 5:52:45 AM PST by Monkey Face (Absinthe makes the heart grow fondue. ~~ Darksheare and NoCmpromiz)
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To: Focault's Pendulum

http://www.jgsales.com/saiga-ak-style-rifle,-223,-20.5-barrel,-black-synthetic-stock,-new.-p-60035.html


31 posted on 02/14/2014 5:53:40 AM PST by JoeProBono (SOME IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED;-{)
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To: Lucky9teen
Instructions to make Origami Valentine

completed Easy Origami Heart

32 posted on 02/14/2014 6:05:57 AM PST by DrewsDad (Environmental Extremism Eventually Endangers Everyone)
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To: Lucky9teen

We have a winner.


33 posted on 02/14/2014 6:06:42 AM PST by TheOldLady
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To: JoeProBono

34 posted on 02/14/2014 6:08:14 AM PST by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: Monkey Face


35 posted on 02/14/2014 6:16:15 AM PST by JoeProBono (SOME IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED;-{)
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To: JRios1968
LOL!
36 posted on 02/14/2014 6:21:39 AM PST by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: JoeProBono

GAH!!!! Disturbing is right! How many illegals is she smuggling into the White House?


37 posted on 02/14/2014 6:31:57 AM PST by Monkey Face (Absinthe makes the heart grow fondue. ~~ Darksheare and NoCmpromiz)
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To: JRios1968

That looks about the right size...


38 posted on 02/14/2014 6:32:29 AM PST by Monkey Face (Absinthe makes the heart grow fondue. ~~ Darksheare and NoCmpromiz)
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To: JoeProBono

Honest Trailers : Transformers http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzJuDo5ots0


39 posted on 02/14/2014 6:33:52 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Arrowhead1952

40 posted on 02/14/2014 6:35:08 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen

41 posted on 02/14/2014 6:36:07 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: JoeProBono

Die Dubstep Zauberflöte http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnjfKk5WJWo


42 posted on 02/14/2014 6:38:28 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: exit82

43 posted on 02/14/2014 6:40:23 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: ShadowAce

44 posted on 02/14/2014 6:41:10 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: BenLurkin


45 posted on 02/14/2014 6:43:29 AM PST by JoeProBono (SOME IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED;-{)
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To: JoeProBono

Sir Mix-A-Lot would approve...


46 posted on 02/14/2014 6:43:53 AM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Random Silliness!


47 posted on 02/14/2014 6:48:34 AM PST by CtBigPat (Free Republic - The grown-ups table of the internet.)
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To: Monkey Face

48 posted on 02/14/2014 6:51:10 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers


49 posted on 02/14/2014 6:51:46 AM PST by JoeProBono (SOME IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED;-{)
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To: BenLurkin

I love those things! (The honest movie trailers, that is!)


50 posted on 02/14/2014 6:56:47 AM PST by Monkey Face (Absinthe makes the heart grow fondue. ~~ Darksheare and NoCmpromiz)
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