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3 Great Male Role Models for Girls: Fumbling, stumbling, awkward and imperfect and also wonderful
Pajamas Media ^ | 02/16/2014 | Bonnie Ramthun

Posted on 02/16/2014 7:08:10 AM PST by SeekAndFind

Last week I examined the fairy-tale world of the perfect young man, who is portrayed as suave, witty, and handsome (“3 Terrible Male Role Models for Girls”).

Now let’s look at the role models our girls should be looking at when they begin to date. What kind of young man will prepare them best to navigate the stormy waters of modern relationships? I have a few suggestions from popular culture for great male role models for young women.

1) Ron Weasley from Harry Potter. Let’s call him “Mr. Nice Guy.”

Ron is a hot mess, both in the books and the movies. This teenage wizard is awkward, gaffe-tastic, and so bumbling that J.K. Rowling recently mentioned that she wondered if she should have put Ron and Hermione together. She shouldn’t wonder. Ron is tender and loving and he makes an excellent husband and father. He’s a nice guy.

But as a teenage boyfriend, he’s the best example of how mixed-up the dating life of a Mr. Nice can be. We grow up with Ron in the Harry Potter novels and movies and his generous and friendly personality becomes a disaster in his teen dating years.

Ron is pressured into a romance with fellow student Lavender Brown. She’s the worst nightmare of a girlfriend — possessive, overbearing, and infantile. She hangs on Ron in public, bestows sickly, sweet nicknames on him (Won-Won!), and has no time for conversation because she’s too busy trying to make out with him. Ron finds himself more and more trapped, unwilling to hurt her feelings but unable to bear her for another minute. He’s a classic Mr. Nice Guy.

This is a great male role model for girls. Lots of teenage boys don’t know how to navigate through relationships. They can find themselves trapped with a girl they’d rather not be with, and breaking up with someone like that is not easy. Hermione doesn’t reject Ron because he was with Lavender, even if her feelings were hurt while he was going out with her. A Mr. Nice Guy like Ron is worth the effort.

Finally, watching Lavender Brown act out her crazed romance is a healthy reminder to girls: Don’t be a Lavender Brown.

2) Samwise Gamgee from The Lord of the Rings. Let’s call him “Mr. Shy Guy.”

Sam is so terrified of asking Rosie Cotton out that he travels through Middle-earth, escapes Ringwraiths, almost gets eaten by a Balrog in the mines of Moria, kills a giant spider the size of a VW Beetle, sword fights with Orcs, and throws down with Gollum at the edge of Mount Doom before he gets up the courage to ask her out.

She immediately marries him and is a wonderful wife, and they have beautiful children together. Don’t make a shy young man travel through Middle-earth, escape Ringwraiths, almost get eaten by a Balrog in the mines of Moria, kill a giant spider the size of a VW Beetle, sword fight with Orcs, and throw down with Gollum at the edge of Mount Doom before he asks you out. Just ask him out already and save you both the trouble.

Shy young men are often the best prize of all, as they usually are intelligent, inquisitive, kind, and funny. They’re a lot like Samwise Gamgee: too insecure to get out of their own way. Sam is a great male role model for teenage girls who might need to widen their vision to see that the bashful sidekick might be the one they’re really looking for.

3) Neo from The Matrix. Let’s call him “Mr. Stoic Guy.”

Don’t laugh. Look at this young man. Can you glean the slightest emotion from that cliff wall of a face? Keanu Reeves, it has been said, has the emotive range of a potato, but this is not true. Keanu is a stoic. These men don’t emote. They don’t squinch up their faces and cry when they’re hurt. Sad movies don’t make them weep. They don’t make big romantic gestures with flowers and special mix tapes and they don’t show up and hold a boom box over their heads and play Peter Gabriel songs. They are unexpressive and remote. If a girl expects a man like this to flip a switch and turn into a talkative extrovert like Ferris Bueller, she’s going to be disappointed.

Yet the Neos of our species are worth every frustration and every effort involved in building a relationship with them. A man like this, once his heart is given, is completely committed. They mate for life, like the wolf, and their devotion is unswerving. Once they love you, they love you forever. (Which is why they don’t say “I love you” all the time. They said it once, and they meant it. Why bother saying it again?) The hero of The Matrix is a great male role model for girls who find they are interested in a stoic young man like Neo. Watch here as he is completely uninterested in kissing the smoking-hot Monica Bellucci. His heart is with Trinity, and that is that.

These male role models for girls show the diversity and the appeal of young men who don’t fit a romantic-movie model of a charming, witty, perfect date. They’re fumbling Mr. Nice Guys, incoherent Mr. Shy Guys, and puzzling Mr. Stoic Guys. They’re imperfect, and they’re wonderful.



TOPICS: Music/Entertainment; Society; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: male; rolemodels

1 posted on 02/16/2014 7:08:10 AM PST by SeekAndFind
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To: SeekAndFind

I liked Fred and George much better than Ron. They had a sense of humor and a business plan.


2 posted on 02/16/2014 7:10:45 AM PST by Tax-chick (The future is not going to take us seriously.)
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To: SeekAndFind

I like the guys like Ron Weasley. But the shy guy can be a perv and the stoic can be cold and a user.


3 posted on 02/16/2014 7:11:35 AM PST by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: SeekAndFind
"What has you got in your pocketess, young lady?"


4 posted on 02/16/2014 7:12:23 AM PST by Perdogg (Ted Cruz-Rand Paul 2016)
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To: SeekAndFind

Give me Jimmy Stewart in his usual lighter roles any day


5 posted on 02/16/2014 7:17:11 AM PST by Nifster
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To: yldstrk

Anybody can turn out to be an unfortunate choice. The author seems to be trying to draw the attention of teenage girls (not 40-somethings ;-), to concepts of a boyfriend that are realistic rather than unrealistic.

In her previous article, she gave as bad examples the vampire guy from “Twilight,” Peeta from “The Hunger Games,” and some guy I never heard of.


6 posted on 02/16/2014 7:20:37 AM PST by Tax-chick (The future is not going to take us seriously.)
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To: SeekAndFind
She immediately marries him and is a wonderful wife, and they have beautiful children together. 

And with thirteen kids you know he's got it going on.

7 posted on 02/16/2014 7:25:37 AM PST by KarlInOhio (Recycled Olympic tagline Shut up, Bob Costas. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!)
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To: SeekAndFind

Didn’t Ron run off and leave them hanging for a good portion of the movie? That last book should have been titled: “Harry Potter and His Band of Overly Dramatic, Bratty Teenagers.”


8 posted on 02/16/2014 7:33:09 AM PST by Rides_A_Red_Horse (Why do you need a fire extinguisher when you can call the fire department?)
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To: SeekAndFind
WRONG!

Here's my 3 Nominations:


9 posted on 02/16/2014 8:13:32 AM PST by Rodamala
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To: SeekAndFind

What about Pajama Boy? He would be a great bf, sitting around drinking cocoa with her??? Talking about great liberal ideas such as Obamacare????


10 posted on 02/16/2014 8:36:36 AM PST by Dilbert San Diego (we')
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To: Dilbert San Diego
What about Pajama Boy? He would be a great bf, sitting around drinking cocoa with her???

Oh yeah, he'd be perfect for the feminist. She could demand oral sex anytime and never have to participate in actual intercourse. And he'd lap it up (pun intended).

11 posted on 02/16/2014 8:40:21 AM PST by ChildOfThe60s ((If you can remember the 60s.....you weren't really there)
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To: SeekAndFind
What I don't understand is ‘three great male models for girls’ to what?

To emulate? To have as boyfriends?

12 posted on 02/16/2014 8:43:27 AM PST by Sir Napsalot (Pravda + Useful Idiots = CCCP; JournOList + Useful Idiots = DopeyChangey!)
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To: SeekAndFind

I prefer this sort of Marine as a role model for my daughter - SSGT Nantz.

http://cps-static.rovicorp.com/2/Open/Sony%20Pictures/Battle%20Los%20Angeles/_derived_jpg_q90_600x800_m0/baloa_stl_2_h.jpg?partner=allmovie_soap


13 posted on 02/16/2014 8:44:39 AM PST by Blueflag (Res ipsa loquitur: non vehere est inermus)
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To: SeekAndFind

14 posted on 02/16/2014 8:45:25 AM PST by EEGator
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To: SeekAndFind


15 posted on 02/16/2014 8:48:17 AM PST by JoeProBono (SOME IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED;-{)
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To: Sir Napsalot

They don’t exactly say why these particular males are great role models. I was thinking along the lines of having as boyfriends/husbands, but they don’t actually say that in the article.


16 posted on 02/16/2014 8:50:41 AM PST by Dilbert San Diego (we')
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To: Rides_A_Red_Horse

Or Harry Potter and the Kids Who Stood Up to Terrorists When the Government Failed to Do So.


17 posted on 02/16/2014 8:51:25 AM PST by goodwithagun (My gun has killed fewer people than Ted Kennedy's car.)
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To: Rodamala

The Johnny Unitas look!


18 posted on 02/16/2014 8:55:18 AM PST by Dr. Ursus
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To: Dilbert San Diego; Sir Napsalot

I believe the author is offering these characters as illustrations of qualities that could be found in a good boyfriend/potential husband. The point seems to be that a boy or young man should not be dismissed because he is awkward, shy, or not very communicative.

I agree with this, in general. However, while a boy/man like this might have many other excellent qualities, he also might not. I advise my daughters to stay out of romantic relationships until everyone has had a chance to grow up quite a lot.


19 posted on 02/16/2014 8:58:17 AM PST by Tax-chick (The future is not going to take us seriously.)
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To: SeekAndFind

I still think Mystique could be the perfect girl friend. Endless variety. She can be anyone you want her to be.

But you know what would happen. 3 weeks into the relationship, she’d be saying, “Why don’t you ever love me for my blue scaly self.” And then it would be over.


20 posted on 02/16/2014 9:49:07 AM PST by DannyTN
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To: DannyTN
I still think Mystique could be the perfect girl friend . . . But . . . 3 weeks into the relationship, she’d be saying, “Why don’t you ever love me for my blue scaly self.” And then it would be over.

Don't all women ask that question after a few weeks?

21 posted on 02/16/2014 9:57:43 AM PST by Pollster1 ("Shall not be infringed" is unambiguous.)
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To: JoeProBono

b


22 posted on 02/16/2014 10:10:39 AM PST by Pilgrim's Progress (http://www.baptistbiblebelievers.com/BYTOPICS/tabid/335/Default.aspx)
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To: Tax-chick

“Anybody can turn out to be an unfortunate choice. The author seems to be trying to draw the attention of teenage girls (not 40-somethings ;-), to concepts of a boyfriend that are realistic rather than unrealistic.”

I got news for you, 40-somethings need that dose of reality, too.


23 posted on 02/16/2014 10:14:40 AM PST by PLMerite
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To: ChildOfThe60s

If PajamaBoy got within a foot of a real vagina he’d run screaming for his mommy.


24 posted on 02/16/2014 10:22:18 AM PST by Lurker (Violence is rarely the answer. But when it is it is the only answer.)
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To: SeekAndFind

Guys? Role models for girls?


25 posted on 02/16/2014 10:51:06 AM PST by Born to Conserve
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To: goodwithagun

True.


26 posted on 02/16/2014 12:58:09 PM PST by Rides_A_Red_Horse (Why do you need a fire extinguisher when you can call the fire department?)
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To: DannyTN

I still think Mystique could be the perfect girl friend. Endless variety. She can be anyone you want her to be.


And you’d find out she’s angry with you when she transforms into Helen Thomas “at the worst possible moment...”


27 posted on 02/16/2014 1:00:02 PM PST by Rides_A_Red_Horse (Why do you need a fire extinguisher when you can call the fire department?)
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To: Rides_A_Red_Horse

I’ve explored the Nazi allegory within the series, but upon further thought there is definitely a terrorist allegory as well.


28 posted on 02/16/2014 1:02:59 PM PST by goodwithagun (My gun has killed fewer people than Ted Kennedy's car.)
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To: Rides_A_Red_Horse

That could ruin a person.


29 posted on 02/16/2014 1:04:21 PM PST by DannyTN
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To: ChildOfThe60s
And he'd lap it up (pun intended).

Not so sure about that.

Finding a big warm lap to sit down on would likely be more to his tastes (pun intended).


30 posted on 02/16/2014 1:17:11 PM PST by Fightin Whitey
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To: Dr. Ursus

I thought it was Phil Robertson. Meh.


31 posted on 02/16/2014 2:28:22 PM PST by Afterguard (Liberals will let you do anything you want, as long as it's mandatory.)
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To: Afterguard

THE Pose- everyone knows that Unitas number was19!


32 posted on 02/16/2014 4:42:34 PM PST by Dr. Ursus
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To: SeekAndFind

33 posted on 02/16/2014 5:17:23 PM PST by piroque ("In times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act")
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