Skip to comments.Moving To Mexico
Posted on 02/16/2014 1:11:42 PM PST by Allen In Texas Hill Country
Dear President Obama:
I'm planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me. We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.
We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, The President of Mexico, that I'm on my way over?
Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. Please print all Mexican Government forms in English, including voting forms.
4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.
5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my housetop, put U.S. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.
14. I want to receive free food stamps, and free unlimited cell phones.
15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.
16. I'll need income tax credits so that although I don't pay Mexican taxes, I'll receive money from the government.
17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Government pays $4,500.00 to help me buy a new car.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.
I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who walk over to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that the President of Mexico won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.
See how stupid this looks when you put it in writing!
I’ve read 1 million US citizens live there full time already.
If you should decide you want to move to Kenya, I believe Hussein has some solid contacts there also.
And even if there are one million legal citizens down there, how does that justify roughly thirty times that number of illegal Mexican nationals up here?
You should also include in-(Mexican)state tuition at the university of your choice.
I forgot to attribute this to ‘Chicago John C.’ whomever that is.
If it were really me it would be to Panama, Boquete specifically.
Social Security checks go a lot further south of the border.
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Trust me they are not treated like that...if you want to live happily in Mexico you have to have enough money to pay for whatever you need, and not complain about the way things are done. Mexico expects people immigrating to their country to be self sufficient, productive, not make waves.
Don’t Drink the water!
But Medicare doesn’t work.
What should be amazing is...this is NOT SATIRE!
How is it so many Americans just don’t get it, I understand the media, gov’t, education system is dumbing down, but common sense should not be so rare.
> “But Medicare doesnt work.”
True but the Tequila is good for most ailments.
My older brother is happily married in Mexico City.
You have to learn Spanish and acquire the habit of shoving money under the table to get things done faster.
Mexico can be a great place for American expats to live but every one does things more leisurely in Mexico and there’s plenty of time for your afternoon siesta!
You're mocking me aren't you.
I think he has a cinderblock hut to rent out.
Half of one anyway.
I know a guy who had a SHTF panic and relocated to Mexico, and quickly ran out of money and was in a panic to get back to the US, realizing that he had really fouled up.
Don’t forget not to drink the water, I mean agua.
Krazy alpha what bit him!
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