Skip to comments.Dave Barry Learns Everything You Need to Know About Being a Husband From Reading 50 Shades of Grey
Posted on 03/06/2014 5:44:48 AM PST by Second Amendment First
So I read Fifty Shades of Grey. This is the book written by female British author E. L. James that became a huge bestseller, devoured by pretty much every woman on Earth except my wife (or so she claims).
So why did I read it? I read it because, as a man with decades of experience in the field of not knowing what the hell women are thinking, I was hoping this book would give me some answers. Because a lot of women LOVED this book. And they didnt just read it; they responded to it by developing erotic feelingsfeelings so powerful that in some cases they wanted to have sex with their own husbands.
I know that sounds like crazy talk, but I have firsthand confirmation of this phenomenon from my friend Ron, who is married to my wifes cousin Sonia, a woman. Ron states: While Sonia was reading the book, I was getting more action than Wilt Chamberlain.
(Excerpt) Read more at ideas.time.com ...
Perhaps you have some insight here.
At last, all you ever wanted to know about 50 Shades of Grey without having to waste your time reading it!
I can dig it — “shot down more often than the Egyptian Air Force”
Thanks for posting that. It's been a couple of years since I've read a Dave Barry article and I had forgotten how funny he was.
I am going to have to get the book:
Excerpted from You Can Date Boys When Youre Forty: Dave Barry on Parenting and Other Topics He Knows Very Little About, to be published by G.P. Putnams Sons, a member of Penguin Group (USA), on March 4.
Dave gives voice to what inside we men who love a woman all deal with. I have learned from near 40 years of cohabitating with a human female, that women dont think like people. They have a knack and natural talent for keeping their males always off balance and feeling a near constant strange sense of guilt! We zig, they zag through the minuet known as relationship. Go figure? Women also always seem to be somewhat discontent (???), with their bodies, their houses and most of all, their relationships (especially with those who they may have sex with), good is never quite good enough ??? Not to reignite the battle of the sexes, but I do sometimes wonder why Ole Serpent approached Eve in the Garden in the perfect creation of God, she was somehow unhappy bout something. (does my fig leaf make me look fat”?). All I can determine is this proves yet again God has a rather twisted sense of humor. The jokes on us fellows as has always been. Dont let my wife see this, or Im (not)screwed!
does my fig leaf make me look fat?
You’re a funny guy!
Its a signal from the female gender... We are interested in sex! Were just not interested in sex with you unless youre a superhot billionaire.
Yeah, seems pretty accurate.
The women who read (and like) this book are the ones who vote Democrat...and why this nation is so messed up.
Totally cracked me up!
My wife read all three of the books. Contrary to what Dave says, it did NOT result in any increase of activity in the bedroom.
I thought 50 Shades Of Grey was a book about government interior decorators.
Hmmm ... any billionaires live in your neighborhood?
Dave somehow managed to skip right over what is to me the most blazingly obvious fact about the success of this book.
While I must admit I couldn’t actually read the thing through, I did scan it. The protagonists have perhaps the most unegalitarian relationship in history.
And the women reading the book and talking about it apparently find that immensely attractive. Which puts a serious crime, to my mind, in the notion that all, or possibly even most, women really want a relationship of equals. Which could explain a great deal about why so many of the women who buy this book are so angry at the world, and especially at men.
There are, of course, very similar books with the dominant/submissive genders reversed. That has always been a rather small minority male interest.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.