10 Things Never To Say To A Flight Attendant

Yahoo ^ | 3/18/14 | Yahoo

[Lmo56]

Pics with captions only ...

[Delta Dawn]

‘a 70’s throwback leisure suit creeper.’

I’m not sure, but, are you implying that there is something wrong with that?

[Darksheare]

Well, being a creeper in a 70’s style leisure suit would tend to be a bad thing.

[Veggie Todd]

They get snippy when you call them “waitress”.

[inpajamas]

“Would you mind holding my detonator while I try to get this shoe off?”

[onedoug]

Nothing but the highest respect for cabin crew.

[Gamecock]

What is the name of that episode?

[smokingfrog]

Where is my seafood meal?

[gaijin]

I speak jive:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0j2dVuhr6s

Airplane

[smokingfrog]

Nightmare at 20,000 feet.

[EQAndyBuzz]

Can someone edit that picture to make it the wife of the disbarred impeached former rapist in chief on the wing?

[dfwgator]

If his name is “Jack”, don’t say “Hi.”

[dfwgator]

"There's a man on the wing..."

So that's how she got to China.

[ponygirl]

That’s a good list. I could add to it:

• ”Hey! Take this…” (blows nose into napkin OR spits gum out into hand and tries to hand it to you, even though you don’t have a bag or a bin to put it in.)
• ”Can you heat up my (leftover pizza, NutriSystem meal, etc.) in your microwave?” (Planes don’t have microwave ovens, and unless your meal is in a convection oven proof container, it’s not a good idea to set the galley on fire.)
• ”I spilled my tomato juice all over my jeans. I need you to launder them for me.”
• If we run out of your meal selection, I’m sorry, but it does not entitle you to a seat upgrade/drink/movie rental no matter how much you bitch and moan. Meals are not stocked 100% of each selection. That’s just how it works.
• “I know you’re in the middle of serving the meal, but could you take my kid’s overflowing barf bag for me?” (This particular guy got so pissed when I asked him to please dispose of it himself , or wait until I could retrieve a plastic bag, that he went to the back galley and threw it on our jumpseat. He was a prince.)
• “Hey! Hey! Hey!”
• “Could you give me the phone number for that hot stew in business class?”
• “My kid left his $400 retainer on his meal tray. We need it back.” (I invited this guy to send his kid back to the galley and I would be glad to let him sort through dirty trays in search of his retainer. Understand that we used to pour leftover ice and beverages onto the trays so we could stack the glasses. It was a sloppy mess. He found it in the third cart. And I made him stack every tray back in each cart. Bet he never did that again.)
• (Responding to a call light late at night.) (whispering) “I don’t wish to alarm anyone, but can you please tell the captain that we have been followed by that light ever since we left Los Angeles?” (Light? What light?) “Out there…” (points to the window. I bend down and look out the window. Granted, it was dark out there over the Pacific. I guess the light at the end of the wing could have looked like a UFO if you squinted really hard….)

Fortunately, I quit flying before everyone had a smart phone. That would have driven me absolutely insane.

[Grams A]

That’s funny. I flew for TWA years and years ago but was grounded when I got married. We used to carry a lighter in our apron pocket in case someone needed a light for their cigarette. Don’t recall that anyone ever called me “honey” though, except the Captain. Generally it was ma’am or Miss. But back then male passengers had manners.

Between the flight attendants now - most of whom are too old to be flying or overweight or just first class crabbyasses - and TSA I refuse to fly any more.

[DManA]

a sure way to get on a flight attendant's bad side.

Good side, bad side, what's the difference?

[Grams A]

That’s funny. I flew for TWA years and years ago but was grounded when I got married. We used to carry a lighter in our apron pocket in case someone needed a light for their cigarette. Don’t recall that anyone ever called me “honey” though, except the Captain. Generally it was ma’am or Miss. But back then male passengers had manners.

Between the flight attendants now - most of whom are too old to be flying or overweight or just first class crabbyasses - and TSA I refuse to fly any more.

[rlmorel]

Yeah...I know women upside down and backwards...(which ain’t a bad way to know them!)

(Hat tip to Rodney Dangerfield...I think...:)

[Fiji Hill]

Why did stewardesses accept being referred to as “flight attendants”? It seems like a demotion. The term “stewardess” implies trust and responsibility. On the other hand, “flight attendant” has the same ring as “gas station attendant.”

[Jeff Chandler]

Good side, bad side, what's the difference?

Eddie: Hey Ralph, you been gettin' any on the side lately?

Ralph: It's been so long, I didn't know they moved it.

[Fiji Hill]

For many years starting in 1961, saying the word "Cuba" in an airliner was verboten.