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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Know Your Meme ^

Posted on 03/21/2014 5:57:41 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Mysterious Light On Saturn Moon. (crash of the Mayalsia jet?)

As the search for the missing Malaysia Airlines flight drags into its 12th day without tangible progress, Internet sleuths are looking for answers. Any answers. From anyone.

The characteristically outspoken Courtney Love was the latest self-styled expert to weigh in with her theory last night on Twitter — which is marvelously evidence-based (!), as far as such theories go. Love, one of the thousands of people scouring crowdsourced satellite site Tomnod for signs of the plane, thinks it crashed into the ocean a mile from the small Malaysian island of Pulau Perak.

View image on Twitter

Courtney Love Cobain
@Courtney

really? look closer? check it out @DR24 and its like a mile away Pulau Perak, where they "last" tracked it

1:25 AM - 17 Mar 2014


2,711 Retweets

1,205 favorites

But what of the Internet’s more imaginative conspiracy theorists — you know, the ones who think the Defense Department orchestrates natural disasters and 9/11 was an inside job? They have a few ideas that make Love look like a veritable aviation expert. We trawled their message boards and YouTube channels so you don’t have to.

 

 

1. The plane never crashed — it’s just invisible! In a twist straight out of the”Star Wars” saga, some theorists are claiming that Flight 370 deployed “electronic weaponry” and “cloaking devices” that have simply hid it from radar detection. “Today’s electronic warfare (EW) capability includes weaponry that can hide planes,” argues an article on the skepticism-inducing WorthyToShare.net, which sadly offers no solution to how said weaponry would get on a passenger plane.

 

 

 

2. Flight 370 “shadowed” another plane into Indian airspace. An Ohio IT worker/hobby aviationist named Keith Ledgerwood apparently started a Tumblr for the sole purpose of propagating this theory — with pretty decent results. His lengthy post on how the missing plane could “hide” from radar by flying close to another jet has been reblogged nearly a thousand times. “It sounds totally crazy,” an aircraft accident investigator told Business Insider.

Crazy — but possible! Airplanes can indeed fly in formation. The chances of coordinating and timing such a coordination are just very, very slim.




3. The plane has been at a U.S. Navy base the whole time. The U.S. maintains a logistics base called Diego Garcia in the Chagos Archipelago. Because the Chagos Archipelago is in the Indian Ocean, and because Diego Garcia does indeed have a runway, many a theorist has joyfully concluded that the U.S. military either (a) captured the plane, (b) shot it down as it swooped in for an attack, or (c) planned to divert it to the installation all along. No one ever explains why the U.S. would take such an extraordinary measure, though The Total Collapse — a prepper Web site that predicts the apocalypse —  is convinced that the plane carried some “highly suspicious cargo” from Seychelles.

It doesn’t exactly help that Diego Garcia is, per a book by American University’s David Vine, “one of the most strategically important and secretive U.S. military installations outside the United States.” As maps of the search area make pretty clear, however, the island is far from either of the routes suggested by Flight 370’s last satellite contact — which would put it west of Perth, Australia, or above the southeast Asian mainland.

 

4. The plane was shot down by a hostile country that is not the U.S. This gem comes courtesy of radio host Rush Limbaugh, who posited that “some hostile country flew up there and shot it down, and then discovered their mistake and nobody wants to admit what happened,” immediately after acknowledging that he had no idea “if this is possible” or not.  5. Flight 370 was hijacked by extremists — possibly jihadists — who may re-outfit the plane for an attack. None other than media mogul Rupert Murdoch has advanced the hijacking theory, arguing on Twitter that the plane is hidden, “like Bin Laden” (!), in Northern Pakistan. Others have read nefarious future plans into the hijacking, fed by a weekend report in the Telegraph that al-Qaeda may have, at one time, been planning a “9/11-style attack” with Malaysian extremists. Pakistan has said its radars never picked up a jet.

 

 

 

 

6. The flight was abducted by aliens. “You really need to consider Santa Clause here bro,” retorted a user on the conspiracy forum Above Top Secret — one of many, many places where the alien/time-space continuum/wormhole theory has been proposed.

 





 

 


7. The Illuminati planned it — and even warned the world in a Pitbull song! Pitbull seems like an unlikely herald of the coming New World Order, but some amazingly earnest YouTube commenters insist that his 2012 song “Get It Started,” featuring Shakira, alludes to the plane’s disappearance. The lyrics contain a passing reference to Malaysia: “but for now it’s off to Malaysia/two passports, three cities, two countries, one day.”  

Per the YouTube masses, the “two passports” are the two stolen passports used by Iranian passengers apparently migrating to Europe, and the three cities are Kuala Lumpur, Beijing and wherever the plane is now. Alas, Pitbull and his Illuminati masters did not think to include that third location in the song.



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: malaysia; mh370; ofst; silliness
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Meanwhile....in Russia


1 posted on 03/21/2014 5:57:41 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen

WOW! Top 5!


2 posted on 03/21/2014 5:58:59 AM PDT by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is...sounding pretty good about now.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Woo Hoo!!!


3 posted on 03/21/2014 5:59:05 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (The 0baMao Experiment: Abject Failure)
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To: dayglored

Geez, Top 2 ?!?!?! That’s a record for me! I’m takin’ today off work and having a SILLY PARTY!!!


4 posted on 03/21/2014 5:59:49 AM PDT by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is...sounding pretty good about now.)
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...



CONSPIRACY


CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST


5 posted on 03/21/2014 6:00:04 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen

It’s so silly to try to be in the top 10


6 posted on 03/21/2014 6:00:09 AM PDT by P.O.E. (Pray for America)
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To: Lucky9teen

Good Morning!

Top Ten, I’m pretty sure.


7 posted on 03/21/2014 6:00:38 AM PDT by Disambiguator
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To: ErnBatavia

TOP 5.....woot woot


8 posted on 03/21/2014 6:01:29 AM PDT by Yorlik803 ( Church/Caboose in 2016)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top TEN!!


9 posted on 03/21/2014 6:01:40 AM PDT by RandallFlagg ("I said I never had much use for one. Never said I didn't know how to use it." --Quigley)
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To: Yorlik803

errrrrrrrrr...never mind


10 posted on 03/21/2014 6:02:04 AM PDT by Yorlik803 ( Church/Caboose in 2016)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top 15!!


11 posted on 03/21/2014 6:02:31 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top 20?


12 posted on 03/21/2014 6:03:27 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: Lucky9teen
Been sittin' here waitin' for The Thread. And here it is!

Whoopee!

13 posted on 03/21/2014 6:03:41 AM PDT by eCSMaster ("It is not the color of his skin, ... it is the blackness that fills his soul")
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To: Lucky9teen

Top 50!!! I’m gonna go play the lottery.


14 posted on 03/21/2014 6:05:31 AM PDT by Focault's Pendulum (I live in NJ....' Nuff said!)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top 20!


15 posted on 03/21/2014 6:06:22 AM PDT by Dacula
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To: Lucky9teen

16 posted on 03/21/2014 6:06:49 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: Lucky9teen

17 posted on 03/21/2014 6:07:13 AM PDT by KC_Lion (Build the America you want to live in at your address, and keep looking up.- Sarah Palin)
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To: Lucky9teen
In case of emergency, break glass.

 photo table.jpg

18 posted on 03/21/2014 6:09:22 AM PDT by Clay Moore ("To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize." ~Voltaire)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top 20


19 posted on 03/21/2014 6:10:32 AM PDT by verga (Poor spiritual health is often manifested with poor physical health.)
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To: Lucky9teen
4. The plane was shot down by a hostile country that is not the U.S. This gem comes courtesy of radio host Rush Limbaugh, who posited that “some hostile country flew up there and shot it down, and then discovered their mistake and nobody wants to admit what happened,” immediately after acknowledging that he had no idea “if this is possible” or not.

The same week North Korean "accidentally" fired on a passenger plane's flight path.

20 posted on 03/21/2014 6:10:42 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (The Texas judge's decision was to pave the way for same sex divorce for two Massachusetts women.)
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To: JRios1968

21 posted on 03/21/2014 6:11:25 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (The Texas judge's decision was to pave the way for same sex divorce for two Massachusetts women.)
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To: a fool in paradise

22 posted on 03/21/2014 6:13:24 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: Lucky9teen

I'm here for the silkiness! What, you say this is silliness, and silkiness is next door? Sorry.

23 posted on 03/21/2014 6:14:52 AM PDT by P.O.E. (Pray for America)
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To: JRios1968

How many unexpected jet airliners fly into Pakinstani airspace every day? Seriously, how did that conspiracy theory get legs?


24 posted on 03/21/2014 6:15:17 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (The Texas judge's decision was to pave the way for same sex divorce for two Massachusetts women.)
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To: Lucky9teen; Osage Orange

Credit to Osage Orange for some3 silliness I promised I would steal yesterday>>
> Fred The Egg Man & His Smart Old Rooster Butch

> > Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young ‘pullets,’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

>> He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

>> >> This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

>> >> Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

>> >> Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

>> >> Fred’s favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all!

>> >> When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

>> >> To Fred’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring.

>> >> He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

>> >> Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Brisbane City Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

>> >> The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the “No Bell Piece Prize,” but they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprise” as well.

>> >> Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.

>> >> Vote carefully in the next election, you can’t always hear the bells.


25 posted on 03/21/2014 6:15:41 AM PDT by verga (Poor spiritual health is often manifested with poor physical health.)
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To: KC_Lion

26 posted on 03/21/2014 6:16:26 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen

27 posted on 03/21/2014 6:18:44 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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 photo Tats_zps91668b6f.jpg
28 posted on 03/21/2014 6:21:11 AM PDT by mykroar (We fight, get beat, rise, and fight again. - Nathanael Greene)
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To: JRios1968; Daffynition

29 posted on 03/21/2014 6:21:13 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (The Texas judge's decision was to pave the way for same sex divorce for two Massachusetts women.)
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To: dayglored

30 posted on 03/21/2014 6:22:31 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: P.O.E.

31 posted on 03/21/2014 6:23:44 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: ErnBatavia

32 posted on 03/21/2014 6:25:11 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: Yorlik803
OOPS.....

33 posted on 03/21/2014 6:27:54 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: BenLurkin

The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time

2. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8 Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido : All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

16 Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.


34 posted on 03/21/2014 6:29:16 AM PDT by mykroar (We fight, get beat, rise, and fight again. - Nathanael Greene)
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To: Lucky9teen

35 posted on 03/21/2014 6:30:19 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (Tre Norner eg ber, binde til rota...)
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To: mykroar

All good!


36 posted on 03/21/2014 6:31:55 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: a fool in paradise

I understand it can glide for an hour. I figure if it powered up for a half hour to get altitude, then glided for an hour, over and over, it landed in Kansas.


37 posted on 03/21/2014 6:33:33 AM PDT by Gadsden1st
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To: BenLurkin

38 posted on 03/21/2014 6:35:42 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (The Texas judge's decision was to pave the way for same sex divorce for two Massachusetts women.)
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To: BenLurkin

It was all a case of bad cellular.


39 posted on 03/21/2014 6:36:11 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: Gadsden1st
I understand it can glide for an hour. I figure if it powered up for a half hour to get altitude, then glided for an hour, over and over, it landed in Kansas.

So crazy it just may work!


40 posted on 03/21/2014 6:39:47 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (The Texas judge's decision was to pave the way for same sex divorce for two Massachusetts women.)
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To: Lucky9teen

A man comes home from work one day and finds his wife packing all her clothes into suitcases. “What are you doing?” he asks.”

“I’m leaving you and moving to Las Vegas,” she says.

“Why?” he asks.

His wife replies, “I found out that in Las Vegas I can make $400 for what I’ve been giving you for free.”

The man drags out a suitcase and begins packing his own clothes into it. “What are YOU doing?” his wife asks.

“I’m coming with you,” he replies. “I want to see you try living on $800 a year.”


41 posted on 03/21/2014 6:39:49 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: Lucky9teen; Revolting cat!; Slings and Arrows
FRIDAY!

Silly is here.


42 posted on 03/21/2014 6:42:38 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (The Texas judge's decision was to pave the way for same sex divorce for two Massachusetts women.)
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To: Gadsden1st
well..make as much sense as pResident 0'Muslim's foreign policy.
i'm not being silly.

43 posted on 03/21/2014 6:46:16 AM PDT by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun..0'Caligula / 0'Reid / 0'Pelosi)
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To: Lucky9teen

TOP...50.


44 posted on 03/21/2014 6:50:10 AM PDT by Monkey Face (Billy has 32 pieces of bacon. He eats 28. What does he have now? Happiness. Real happiness.)
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To: Lucky9teen

45 posted on 03/21/2014 7:07:59 AM PDT by Darksheare (Try my coffee, first one's free..... Even robots will kill for it!)
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To: Lucky9teen

46 posted on 03/21/2014 7:21:17 AM PDT by Darksheare (Try my coffee, first one's free..... Even robots will kill for it!)
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To: Lucky9teen; Charles Henrickson; mikrofon

47 posted on 03/21/2014 7:28:29 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Lucky9teen

48 posted on 03/21/2014 7:29:21 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Lucky9teen

TGIF... of course at my job, Friday sucks just as bad as Monday.

But at least I get to chow down on my Minner Cheese Hotdogs. (Pimento cheese on a hotdog bun)

These are are delicacy that I invented about 20 years ago. The wonderful combination came to fruition under circumstances that involved:

a) Being shitfaced at 3am.
b) Being hungry enough to eat anything. (3am drunk hunger)
c) Being broke and not having anything else in the cupboard.
d) I was out of corn and Captain Crunch so I couldn’t make a frozen pizza.

The days of being shitfaced are behind me now (or at least spaced farther apart) but these little gems have stuck with me.


49 posted on 03/21/2014 7:30:12 AM PDT by envisio (Its on like Donkey Kong!)
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To: Lucky9teen

EPIC PROTEST PRANK

50 posted on 03/21/2014 7:32:32 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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