Skip to comments.This Pizza Place Rightfully Charges $1,000 For A Side of Ranch
Posted on 03/21/2014 3:44:15 PM PDT by nickcarraway
Let's just get this out of the way: Putting ranch dressing on your pizza is disgusting and foul and you should feel ashamed of yourself if you desecrate the sanctity of the holy union of bread, tomato sauce, and cheese. For shame!
Anyway, Cane Rosso's in Dallas is doing it right and "charging" customers a sweet grand for the privilege to eat their pizza WRONG. Owner Jay Jerrier explained to Eater the type of people he usually encounters ordering this pghlemy subtance. It's weird, it always seems to be young, college-age girls that ask for it.
Of course, when they caught wind of his joke giant bottle of ranch, the Annals of Reddit reacted as they often do. Everybody [on Reddit] seems to assume we're the worst people in the world, like how dare they tell me how to eat my pizza! Dude, it's a joke. Relax.
But really, it's just a damn Yankee thing.
It was pretty funny how people did take it really seriously and were super offended. I guess it's the Midwest. They love them some ranch.
Also, it's his restaurant. He can do what he wants.
Well you know, at Cane Rosso we really try and you gotta take this with a grain of salt we try to stay authentically Neapolitan, but we're also the same guys who are putting brisket on pizza, and bacon marmalade. But we really try to stay far away from the kind of Midwest-American tradition. No chicken, no ham, no pineapple. I think for the most part, again, take it with a grain of salt, Cane Rosso is more about restraint and balance where we're not taking it to extremes. Ban ranch dressing on pizza.
If its good its good, some peoples way of eating is just a habit.
Pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza either. Flog the infidels....
Well...he’s right, besides everyone knows Ranch Dressing is not healthy.
Ask for Ketchup instead.
Ranch dressing on steamed broccoli is great stuff, though.
Good on them. Remind me of a hot dog stand in river grove Illinois. They have no ketchup on a hot dog policy. Ketchup is for kids and New York ers
To this day, my husband claims he invented the idea of ranch & pizza.
“It’s weird, it always seems to be young, college-age girls that ask for it.”
Sheer misogyny. And ageism.
Bet he doesn’t have a problem with middle-aged male construction workers putting tabasco or hot pepper flakes on their pizza. Oh, because they’re not idiots, they’re gastronomy experts. Unlike those silly college girls.
“I guess it’s the Midwest. They love them some ranch.”
And ‘salads’ composed of lime jello with shredded vegetables suspended in it topped with miniature marshmallows.
I used to feel sorry for my cousins, but they could have left.
Somehow, I’ve never thought HVR dressing would have become so popular if it had been branded “Hidden Valley Ranch - a Clorox product”.
Dirty Harry agrees
That’s funny. I like it.
Yeah it seems pretty common for people in these parts to order ranch. Its OK but its not for me.
Except that it isn't.
I am really getting tired of people bossing other people around and then when someone stands up to them pretending like it was suppose to be a joke.
I don't like ranch on pizza.
But I would bring in the biggest bottle I could find and plop it on the table in front of me just because the guy is being a jerk about it.
And I would loan it to anyone who asked.
Get over yourselves and stop trying to control people.
I agree, no pineapple! For me it’s ruined even if I remove the pineapple.
They’re missing the cottage cheese.
Californians love their ranch too.
I thought I was setting down at my Aunts table. lol
The Canadians taught me to eat french fries with vinegar.
Taste sorta similar to salt and vinegar ships? Because I like those....Might have to try vinegar fries
I always quote that one to someone who’s about to do it.
“Bet he doesnt have a problem with middle-aged male construction workers putting tabasco or hot pepper flakes on their pizza. Oh, because theyre not idiots, theyre gastronomy experts.”
Telling construction workers how to eat their pizza is normally not a good idea.
Another place to avoid like the plague
Food snobs of all stripes are irritating and tedious.
If you like it, it’s good.
Is that food or barf?
I know how that pumpkin feels!
My best friend has a wonderful, awesome, gun slinging wife. She is very much a Midwestern matron, and DAMN... Can she cook!
The pumpkin reminded me of her cooking, because she had a recipe for a light, complex beef stew that was cooked inside of a pumpkin, and you would scrape the cooked pumpkin off into the stew. That was about 20 years ago and I still remember it.
There is some GREAT cuisine in the Midwest.
But those... _things_ made with jello...
If I were the store owner there would be only one “demand” of my customers pizza eating habits... NO FISH!!! Can’t even bake it in the oven without getting the stink on the other pizzas. Wouldn’t even offer anchovies. YUK!!!
For your fries, take 1/2 cup ketchup and 1/2 cup mayo and mix together. For more spice, go 3/4 cup ketchup and 1/4 cup mayo.
For a burger, flip it (pun intended). 3/4 cup mayo and 1/4 cup ketchup.
For me, it’s mustard of one form or another on a burger 99% of the time. But sometimes I add that to my mustard (burp).
Looks like a vomit do-nut.
I agree completely. Give me the traditional toppings but no anchovies.
“I agree, no pineapple! For me its ruined even if I remove the pineapple.”
This isn’t good news for that pineapple and ranch pizza restaraunt I just opened.
Good for them! A hot dog should only have yellow mustard and pickle relish on it.
I generally agree with you but one friend of mine put ketchup on biscuits and gravy. I had to make some snide comments about that.
“....one friend of mine put ketchup on biscuits and gravy.”
Ewwww... Well, I suppose there are some things that shouldn’t be eaten in public.
No one dictates what or how I eat my pizza or anything else. Aside from table manners, I will eat and combine ingredients however I wish. This is America, right... oh, no, it isn’t the free America I once knew but the nazi run country where everything I do is spied upon and I get told what I can and can not do or say. Just wait until Moo shuts his place down for serving high fat and high calorie foods.
Me too!! I wouldn’t eat it though.
Well I was GONNA say that as a purist, if I opened a pizza joint, the only thing I would serve would be cheese pizza, and pepperoni pizza. And the only option would be to get it half-and-half. And of course, these would be the best damn cheese and pepperoni pizzas in the world.
But now? Never mind.
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