Do a Google search for free divorce services. Try several different searches. You don’t dare go in front of a judge without an attorney.
I don’t know what your profession is, but you might try barter.
Best of luck.
Incidentally, several of my male friends ended up in this situation and years later their former wives wanted them back. But they’d moved on in other relationships. I think it’s called something like “the Cinderella syndrome.” They’re taught from birth that they’ll live happily ever after and the reality is there’s just more life and none of it involves princes, romance or being awesomely satisfied forever and ever.
“It seems that God has lost track of my soul, that he has forsaken me.”
This is your first mistake. God has SAID He will never forsake you. Believe Him.
Ditch the self pity and start digging out of where you are. When I recall the days I felt as you feel and was talking as you are talking I wonder at the fact that I had years to go yet before I got out. And I did get out. God WILL LIFT YOU IF ONLY YOU WILL LET HIM!
Prayers up to the Holy Spirit for you!
Praying for you, bro.
We will pray now for your well-being.
I am an attorney but not licensed to practice in Virginia. Perhaps I may help with some general questions.
Rachmaninoff’s piano concerto number two.
Read the book of Job. We all suffer to varying extents, and it is all for some reason unknown to us.
For a long while in my life, I became quite acquainted with a biblical guy named Job.
It seemed that ‘the word from on high’ was:
Y’all kin mess his mind up, make his body go all cuckoo, make him lose all d’at d’at he dun did git an’ begit, BUT y’all ain’t gonna put one scrawny finger on him, ya dig? I know da man, y’all don’t! I’ll be a-watchin’ y’all, to make sure y’all end up lookin’ da fool.
Might want to drag that part out and read it some, no?
(In that time, he became, ‘my buddy Job’.)
There is a dog waiting for you at the pound to come rescue him/her and provide him/her love. Love that that the dog will return 10 fold. So my first words of encouragement are to visit the pound and bring home someone to love and love you back. While that dog will never replace the dog you just lost, it eventually will become a new member of your family. Also remember there are a lot of women who are also in need of a good man to love and share life with. Do not hesitate in seeking out another woman to share your life with going forward. While things may indeed look bleak at this moment, time has a way of soothing things.
One positive you mentioned is that the end of your rope is 6 feet out of your reach. Keep it at that distance and continue to expand that distance. In a later assessment you may come to say it was the best thing that could have happened to you. The other positive is that you have a job even though the joy of it seems to be eluding you at the moment. Build on the positives and realize you can only do what you can do and do not stress over doing it all at once. Keep a positive attitude and positive results will occur. Saddle yourself with a negative outlook and negatives will continue to plague you.
My prayers are with you that the above scenario plays out and the rest of your life is full of joy and love.
God bless you man and feel free to contact me whenever you feel the need.
Bob
Somewhere there’s a dog in a shelter that needs your love. And he will return the favor many times over.
Good luck to you.
Here’s something that always helps me and maybe it will work for you, too.
Think of a time in the future when all of your current troubles are behind you. The divorce is over with and you have been left enough money to support yourself. You can see now that you’re going to be OK. Whenever you’re downhearted, think about that picture of yourself in the future, with everything getting better, the bad times over.
Work a little harder and longer and smarter at your job and see if you can find extra pleasure in what you do well. Remember and treasure every compliment you ever got, every friendship you ever made. Remember challenges of the past that you’ve successfully overcome. Review your strengths and remember good times ... look forward to more good times.
Four words to keep firmly in mind when life gets hard, as it does for all of us: This, too, shall pass.
Give thanks to God for what you’ve had, and what you still have. You had the lifelong love and companionship of a gentle creature, that dog, who left this world in the one place he or she most wanted to be. You have a job. You have a life to live. Pray for help with your burdens, lift them up to Him in all humble sincerity. Look for ways to economize, look for ways to help cover your overhead that do not involve money. You’ll make it. You have not been forsaken. Late 2007 to mid-2008 was similar for me, it’s very difficult I know. The peace of God from prayer, stepping back and assessing what you do still have and how to proceed, then putting one foot in front of the other until you see your way clear of your troubles, it’s all you can do. There are so many sweet dogs needing a person to love and care for them, when it’s time you’ll know, take in another.
Going to be praying for you, fredhead. God bless you.
I promise God hasn’t deserted you. He is right there. If you can praise Him even in the storm, and pour out your heart to Him, you WILL get through this. I know from experience.
Hey brother, I understand.
God IS there with you through this. And He WILL SEE you through this!!
I went through this public ‘raping’. Yes, the lawyers and the ex all get together and rape the big, bad man - stealing EVERYTHING he’s got in the world and leaving him bloodied and alone.
Mine dragged out for two years. I went through 2 lawyers. I would advise ANY man who gets divorced by his wife to not bother with a lawyer. They’re just ANOTHER party who wants as much of your money as they can get. PERIOD.
My ex was smart and I was just plain stupid and naive.
I’d been a mailman and then worked for a title insurance office making around 30k/yr. When I got laid off, she announced the divorce.
I then found myself in a pretty successful musical show which went to Broadway for 8 months. Somehow, the divorce FILING didn’t happen til AFTER the show died and I was let go -3 years later.
It didn’t matter that for ONE year, I out-earned her. I had tripled my salary and they clobbered me, but good.
My lawyer had mistaken me for a long-term Broadway actor and got VERY upset and ugly with me by the time of our final judgment. All because he finally realized the truth - that I was NOT some big money guy.
I was forced to go live at my mothers again - an hour away from my kids. This made it VERY hard for my ‘parenting’ time: every other weekend. Especially when my daughter has dance up in her town all weekend. Whatever savings I was allowed to keep just got eaten up. I was broke, homeless and unemployed.
It was miserable and I thought I’d never recover. The judgment was in Sept. 2012 and I still have my moments.
Brother, I lost EVERYTHING - except God. And He got my attention.
I’ve since found work long enough to have gotten a house of my own. Currently, I’m laid off and, like I said, have my moments of wondering if I’m gonna lose it all over again.
I also met a wonderful girl who actually LOVES me and so I just married her. So I’m not alone anymore.
Life is never easy for very long. But God is my provider, my protector and the one who cares about me more than ANYONE.
He is all that for you too. Feel free to contact me if you need to talk.
Fred, Seek after God and do all the things you’ve always enjoyed doing. Find things that make you laugh.
Your marriage ended but the world didn’t.
You’ll be alright. It’s like having surgery - it is painful and recovery seems to take forever. But soon, you’ll look back and give a HUGH sigh of relief. And you’ll smile again.
We promise!
Praying for you, my FRiend.
I am so sorry for your loss.
((((HUGS))))
ML
Prayers for you. I know it seems very bleak now, but know that He has a plan for you. Sometimes it seems like God is not listening to our prayers, but He is.
Even this shall pass.
God loves you.
BTW, I know nothing about the law, so perhaps some FReeper who does can advise you on where to get some pro-bono help.
I have been where you are. Not same circumstances, but an abyss so deep I was sure even my Father in Heaven had abandoned me. I found these scriptures that were my lifeline. I can’t explain it, but I would read these scriptures every time I was overwhelmed with anguish...Matthew 11:28-30.
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
And I would beg Christ to carry my pain just for one hour, just let me rest. And in the beginning I was doing this twenty times a day, and I could feel my burden and pain lift as he carried it for awhile. Over time it lifted completely and I was whole again. It changed my life. Believe it can change yours. You are in my prayers.
Your problems will pass. There are times that one must simply bow ones head and press on with living through the sleet, snow, thunder and lightening. It is hard in your situation to get some perspective, the NOW seems to consume the future, it does not. Good Luck and God Bless you in your time of need.
We pray for alot of things,sometimes the answer is no.
If you stay faithful to God, and go through this speaking His Word instead of the lies Satan is telling you, you will be overrun with blessing once you get ‘through’. I have been in such circumstances, so bad that I could not see a speck of light at the end of the tunnel. My breakthrough came when I began to speak His Word and run it through my head constantly - even when I found it hard to believe it.
Hold on, remain faithful, and understand that ‘this too shall pass.’ As horrible as it is, it is only a temporary moment in eternity, and God truly can use it for your good. Prayers for you.