Skip to comments.***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 03/28/2014 3:50:50 AM PDT by upchuck
Are you ready for some Friday Silliness?
lucky9teen sent me a FReepmail saying she is sick and asking me to post this thread. This is an awesome responsibility and I hope, with your help, that this thread will be a crazy, insane, off-the-wall and out-of-the-box experience.
Let's get started:
Some would say this is a perfect mix:
Ukraine buys almost all its energy (natural gas)from Russia. Revenues from natural gas sales are a primary source of income for Russia.
Because of the recent disagreement between Ukraine and Russia, Russia is raising the price of natural gas it sells to Ukraine.
Ukraine is almost broke and can't afford the increase in the natural gas price because it would be forced into bankruptcy.
Obama(the USA) just announced the United States is giving Ukraine $1 billion to assist in paying for the higher priced natural gas it buys from Russia.
So, the United States is actually giving Russia $1 billion because the money is just passing through Ukraine.
The first question: Has Putin figured out a way to raise the price of his natural gas sales and make the U.S. pay for the increase?
Next question: Was he really in the KGB or was he a commodities trader?
If this analysis is accurate, Putin just got Obama(the USA) to pay him $1 billion by holding a press conference and trucking some troops across town from the Russian Navy base in Ukraine.
Who is the smartest guy in the room now?
Some people never develop beyond this stage.
A Tale of Two CitiesLiberal conclusion: Cold weather causes murder.
Population 2.7 million 2.15 million
Median HH Income $38,600 $37,000
% African-Americ 38.9% 24%
% Hispanic 29.9% 44%
% Asian 5.5% 6%
% Non-Hispanic White 28.7 26%
Pretty similar until you compare the following:
Concealed Carry gun law no yes
# of Gun Stores 0 184 Dedicated gun stores plus 1500 legal places to buy guns: Walmart, K-mart, sporting goods, etc.
Homicides in 2012 1,806 207
Homicides per 100K 38.4 9.6
Avg. Jan. high temp. (F) 31 63
Well, here it is. Hope this lives up to your standards and that I didn’t embarrass you very much. Get well.
I’m here this week!!
#5!!!! It’s early this week. I’ll be in and out today.
Get well Lucky.
Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result.
This is not a trick question.
It is as it reads.
No one I know has gotten it right, Few people do.
A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom she did not know.
She thought this guy was amazing.
She believed him to be her dream guy so much that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him.
A few days later she killed her sister.
Question: What is her motive for killing her sister?
Give this some thought before you answer, see answer below
She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again.
If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath.
This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to determine if one has the same mentality as a killer.
Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly.
If you didn’t answer the question correctly, good for you.
If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take your crazy ass off my e-mail list!
Top 10 at 7:20 EDT!
spring has sprung.
Top 10 wahoooo
Back when Hillary Clinton was a US Senator, her driver was taking the dumpy lesbian communist back from a trip upstate when they turned the sharp corner of a country road and struck a cow, killing the animal and damaging the limo...
Her sense of priveledge and superiority had Hill thinking 'screw it, let's just take off' but a small gathering of townspeople appeared and -fearful one might have a camera or word would get back to the farmer- she thought better of it, telling the driver 'Look, we've got to find the owner of this cow and tell the guy what happened'.
Looking around, they found the nearest farmhouse- she sends the driver in to do the talking and explain what he'd done.
Hillary is waiting out in the car, 20, 30 minutes... and hour passes and still nothing.
She says to herself 'What's taking this damn idiot so long?' and storms up to the front door. As she approaches the driver comes staggering out, clothing disheveled, reaking of alcohol, lipstick on his collar, etc.
Hillary is livid, and lays into him good: 'What the hell were you doing in their for an hour?!?'
He says 'Look, the farmer made me sit down for a 20-year-old Scotch he uncorked, his wife handed me a Cuban cigar and hugged me so tight I thought I was going to die... then their 18-year-old daughter nearly ripped my clothes off as I attempted to make an escape!"
H: "What on Earth did you say to them?"
D: "All I said was 'Hello sir, I'm Hillary Clinton's limo driver, and I'm the one who just killed the old cow...' "
Stolen from Hillarys Gate Cult:
A girl goes into the doctors office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red H on her chest. How did you get that mark on your chest? asks the doctor.
Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and hes so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love, she replies. I guess it just leaves an impression.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue Y on her chest. How did you get that mark on your chest? asks the doctor.
Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and hes so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love, she replies.
A couple of days later, Hillary comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green M on her chest. Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan? asks the doctor.
No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?
I have one. It is fun every time.
(I just got home from work)
TOP 20!!! Maybe.
Psychology Vs. Law
A guy is looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library. He asked a girl:”Do you mind if I sit beside you?”
The girl replied in a loud voice: “I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!”
All the students in the library started staring at the guy. He was truly embarrassed and moved to another table.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and said with a laugh: “I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”
The guy then responded in a loud voice: “$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? . . . THAT’S TOO MUCH!”
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy whispered to her: “I study law, and I know how to screw people.”
Ok, two more things, a beautiful woman and a beer...
Reminds of an old song I was listening to yesterday. "...the only two things in life that make it worth living, guitars tuned good and firm feeling women...."
Not silly, I know.
A stinkin’ SNICKERS commercial?? ;-P
If your going to be funny and creative you might as well get paid for it.
Winter cold causes murders — global warming to blame!
Thanks for fillin in...
Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, and more money.
Oh, sorry. My “Christmas Story” reference sailed right past you that time.
Snickers and Payday = my two favorite candy bars for many years.
My low-carb diet put an end to them for me, though. Sigh...
Be sure to drink your Ovaltine!
I can be a little dense sometimes; like when I'm awake.
Drink more Ovaltine. Got it.
My kind of gal.....
A Texas Lady Tale.
Kind of a Texas thing .but maybe you others will find enjoyment as well.
One day, a very gentle Texas lady was driving across a bridge in Austin. As she neared the middle of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin (”fixin” in Texas means: has the means or abilities to take action) to jump...
She stopped her car, rolled down the window, and said, “Please don’t jump! Think of your dear mother and father.”
He replied, “My mom and dad are both dead; I’m going to jump.”
She said, “Well, think of your sweet wife and precious children.”
He replied, “I’m not married, and I don’t have any kids.”
She said, “Well, then you just remember the Alamo.”
He replied, ‘’What’s the Alamo?’’
She replied, ‘’Well bless your heart...just go ahead and jump, you little Yankee Democrat Bastard!’’
Oh, YES! And NOW!
I live not far from Luckenbach.